Eldin Vendaryn 2WG
Planeswalker - Eldin
+1: Until your next turn, creatures you control Gain Dauntless.
0: create a 3/3 White and Green legendary Wolf creature token with Vigilance named Romyr.
-6: You get an emblem with "Tap an untapped creature you control: Tap target nonland permanent"
{4}
Missa, Goblin Whisperer 1RR
Planeswalker - Missa
+1: create a 1/1 red goblin token with Haste and Insanity.
-2: Put a goblin creature from your hand into play. That creature gains Haste. Sacrifice it at the end of turn.
-6: You get an emblem with "Creatures gain Haste and Insanity."
{3}
Kargaroth, Trauma Sage 3UB
Planeswalker - Kargaroth
+2: Return up to one target creature to it's owner's hand.
-X: target player reveals their hand and discards a nonland card with converted mana cost X.
-7: Target player discards their hand. Draw cards equal to the number of cards discarded this turn.
{5}
Set Keywords:
Dauntless (Green/White)- This creature may block an additional creature each combat. Creatures with Menace may be blocked by one creature with Dauntless.
Pariah (White/Blue)- When you would be dealt damage, that damage is dealt to this creature instead.
Spite (Blue/Black)- When another creature destroys this, destroy that creature. (If this is killed by combat damage dealt by more than one creature, destroy one of those creatures.)
Insanity (Black/Red)- This creature must attack each turn if able.
Focus (Red/Green)- This creature may deal combat damage to the defending player as though it weren't blocked.
Just a heads up: the Frenzy(Frenzy Sliver) mechanic already exists. Perhaps change yours to "insane" (doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results is insanity) or something similar?
Did you mean for Missa's emblem to be for all players? If so I would make require 1-2 less loyalty to activate.
Eldin Vendaryn seems weak. The plus ability doesn't really do anything. It sort of protects Eldin Vendaryn, but only if you already have creatures out. The 0 ability is underwhelming. The ultimate doesn't lead to you winning the game, and is worthless if you have no creatures. This card could cost 1WG and it still wouldn't seem like a threat.
Missa, Goblin Whisperer seems better. Like Boyachi mentioned, you need to change the name of Frenzy. Otherwise, it's a good planeswalker (although it has no way to protect itself which many planeswalkers do to some extent). The ultimate seems weak. It impacts all players so it doesn't help you win the game which is what ultimate abilities are supposed to do. Even if it only impacted you, it would be too weak.
Kargaroth, Trauma Sage needs a different plus ability. Unsummon as a +2 is far too strong. For comparison, Jace, Unraveler of Secrets has the same ability has a -2. It is hard to evaluate the -X ability, but even though it is good, it'd probably fine because discard isn't nearly as strong by turn 5. The ultimate is underwhelming to some extent and could at least be changed to each opponent discards their hand.
Dauntless - I kind of like this ability, but... it's so boring. Can a single dauntless creature block a single creature with menace? Can it be worded to allow it to?
Eldin
+1 is boring. And bad. And often useless. So in order to activate its ultimate, you make me waste a turn doing a useless +1. Not cool.
0 - This is less boring. It's not very original, though. Also, I'm always worried about how easy it is to replace such a legendary token...
-N: I get glare of subdual. But in new, less interact-with-me kind. And remember that it's far worse here, as I don't get it online until turn 6 or so.
To, to recap, your +1 is not fun, your 0 is often not usable, and your ultimate is a card that exists at the same mana cost and has no real synergy with your card.
I hate emblems for their lazy design. "I can't think of a good thing for my planeswalker to do, let me make an enchantment token that can't be disenchanted!" Not cool. But an emblem of an enchantment that exists is just obviously lazy.
Missa
+1 - Create an attacking goblin that must attack each turn. I've seen this card before.
-2 - Goblin Sneak Attack is kind of interesting?
Ultimate - So it's a drawback emblem. Why? Mass Hysteria costs R and doesn't make me suicide my guys.
Kargaroth
+2 - I'm confused... why is this +2? Is it +2 because the guy costs 5? So if I cost the others 5, their 1st ability is +2 instead of +1? Also, this ability is actually RELEVANT and INTERESTING.
-X - This can fail. So it's a fail.
Ultiamte - ANOTHER discard thing? So he bounces, then discards and discards some more. Magic has been doing bounce and discard for a long time - this isn't doing anything new at all.
Name1UB
Planeswalker - Name
+1: Target player returns a creature he or she controls to his or her hand. Lose 1 life.
-2: Name a card. Search target player's library for a card with that name, reveal it, and put it into that player's hand. That player loses 2 life.
-6: Name up to two non-land cards. Each opponent reveals his or her hand. You may play cards with those names from your opponent's hands without paying their mana cost.
3
1st ability is relevant, but hurts you, so bouncing might not be the best thing.
2nd ability is deiabolic tutor. Or shock.
3rd ability actually can combo with both - you can bounce, and tutor to your opponent, then play those cards for free! Probably won't happen since it relies on your opponent leaving those cards in hand... but it's possible. That said, in commander you can often guess to get fat stuff.
Green white has a turbofog theme in this set, so Eldin is s'posed to be kind of a low threat support for the defender heavy color pair. His ultimate is not supposed to be a game winner. I don't like emblems like Dovin Baan's who's might as well just end the game for how oppressive it is. The uninteractableness is a fair trade for getting to the emblem, as long as the emblem itself is fair. I feel permanent glare is a lot more fair than a permanent one sided orb. And glare is my favorite enchantment in the game, so I don't care if it's unoriginal. His wolf thing was a throwback to tolsimir wolfblood, who keeps spitting out Voja tokens, but it doesn't need to exist. His plus I'm happy with; how many Planeswalkers boost creatures for their plus? This one affects all your dudes and protects both himself and you in a way, and it is new. No other Planeswalker does anything like it. He might be boring, but he's functional! At least in set, maybe not in a vacuum... Not every Planeswalker has to be a power house!
Missa is kind of Eldin's opposite. She makes all the things attack, which means his defenders don't get to do their jobs (unless they have defender!) If planeswalkers could have flavor text, hers would be along the lines of "nothing whispers louder than goblins", or "I don't know if whispering is what I'd call what you're doing." The card is meant for the black/red pair, which is all attacking all the time. Again, her emblem wasn't intended to be overbearing. I forgot frenzy was already a mechanic, Insanity sounds pretty good though... white blue and green white both use strategies that don't involve turning dudes sideways; forcing them to do so and leaving them without blockers can break their decks in half.
Kargaroth is the nemesis is the block and his deal is discarding stuff. Black/blue in the actual game tends to lean on mill too hard, this set does hand manipulation and extirpate like effects. His plus is a plus 2 because of how aggressive red/green is, and how little any of the arch types care about a single guy getting bounced; Jund colors have a lot of Haste and bant colors have a lot of tokens.
You've given me a bit to think about, though. Kargaroth especially needs some tuning, and Eldin could use a new middle ability. I'm also going to use this thread to post more of the set, I enjoy the feedback.
1. Turbo-fog really shouldn't be a subtheme in limited. There is no "block" constructed anymore. Turbo fog has historically been an accident resulting from 1 fair to decent fog effect in the core set, block 1, and block 2. Having it be a theme... feels like it would warp limited.
That said, "My planeswalker is well designed because of secrets about my set you don't know" is not a good answer to anything. It's a really unsatisfying planeswalker, and even if you can make it constructed playable, that won't change the fact it's unfun to use and unfun to play against and flavorfully weak.
2. If you like Opposition, reprint Opposition or Glare of Subdual. Don't make a crappy planeswalker that "maybe kinda" can turn into Opposition if you've jumped through the hoops. I mean, really. Glare of Subdual sounds like a fun card to reprint, and if your core set has Pithing Needle, everything's good, right?
So here's the plan:
1. Reprint Glare of Subdual.
2. Do something interesting with tokens.
3. Construct a planeswalker that works well with it. Hint: Have it make tokens. Maybe cost it at 3GW, so you play it after Glare, or cost it at 1WG so you play it before glare.
I won't tell you have to construct that kind of planeswalker. The design is obvious. And this isn't that.
Re: Missa - You want to have a planeswalker that makes creatures attack. Isn't this mechanically a nightmare, as your creatures have to attack? Printing red defenders "to block for her" is just a sign you know there's something wrong with your planeswalker design. If you wanted to make it WR and have it encourage attacking by, say, giving a creature haste, vigilance, and lifelink UEOT... that'd be interesting.
Her making "suicidal tokens" is not very interesting. It's been done, and is more bookkeeping than anything else.
I've already said that her Sneak Attack ability is cool. It needs tweaking; no reason she has to be full-on goblin loving, but it's up to you. But the fun aspect of sneak attack was cheating a fattie into play. Maybe have whatever it cheats into play return to your hand; not like you should be able to use the ability more than once in a row.
Re: Emblems - Again, it's lazy design. If you want a cool design, have her ultimate be Sneak-attacking your entire hand. Or let her create lots of goblins. Or let her do something equal to the # of creatures that attacked that turn. Something BIG.
Telling me that her ULTIMATE wasn't supposed to be ULTIMATE isn't so much a justification of your design so much as it is either an ad hoc rationalization of a bad design, or a sign that you - for some reason - decided to make a bad ultimate. You could just not give it an ultimate - that'd be interesting. This isn't interesting; it's bad. And it's not apparently bad "for fun" or "to do something new"; it's bad while doing nothing new or fun!
Re: Kargaroth
1. You say he's +2 because of... other cards? The question is why is the card flavor/function as it is. It's not +2 for mechanical or flavor reasons having to do with Kargoroth, but because of other cards in your set? That's not how you explain flavor. And no one believes that this is the ONLY option to "combat" the other cards in the set. For exampe:
+1: Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You may have that player discard a card revealed in this way. If it's a creature card, exile it instead and create a 2/2 black zombie token.
Now it can defend itself with a token. So the aggressiveness of other colors is combated by his ability to defend himself. This is one of a dozen ways to do this.
Final thoughts:
Planeswalkers, when well designed, should tell a story about what a color (or set of colors) do well. They can focus on the whole pie (preferred), or a select portion thereof (Think of a hyper-mill focused planeswalker). Right now, the only one close to doing either is the red one, with it's hyper (and REDUNDANT) focus on attacking. If you want it to center around attacking, make 3-4 abilities that encourage or scale with attacking. That's interesting.
The green white one, clearly, needs to be a generic "I like to go wide" card that works well with your glare of subdual reprint or variant; it cannot be the variant itself without making it boring and, quite frankly, bad.
Maybe make a glare variant that triggers off of removing a counter from a non-land permanent. That'd work with your planeswalker interestingly.
Finally, your blue black one is redundant and boring. Each of it's abilities has too much overlap. Instead of each doing discard, try to make something that interacts with discard spells. Maybe one causes a discard; let the others do things that benefit from having caused discard.
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Planeswalker - Eldin
+1: Until your next turn, creatures you control Gain Dauntless.
0: create a 3/3 White and Green legendary Wolf creature token with Vigilance named Romyr.
-6: You get an emblem with "Tap an untapped creature you control: Tap target nonland permanent"
{4}
Missa, Goblin Whisperer 1RR
Planeswalker - Missa
+1: create a 1/1 red goblin token with Haste and Insanity.
-2: Put a goblin creature from your hand into play. That creature gains Haste. Sacrifice it at the end of turn.
-6: You get an emblem with "Creatures gain Haste and Insanity."
{3}
Kargaroth, Trauma Sage 3UB
Planeswalker - Kargaroth
+2: Return up to one target creature to it's owner's hand.
-X: target player reveals their hand and discards a nonland card with converted mana cost X.
-7: Target player discards their hand. Draw cards equal to the number of cards discarded this turn.
{5}
Set Keywords:
Dauntless (Green/White)- This creature may block an additional creature each combat. Creatures with Menace may be blocked by one creature with Dauntless.
Pariah (White/Blue)- When you would be dealt damage, that damage is dealt to this creature instead.
Spite (Blue/Black)- When another creature destroys this, destroy that creature. (If this is killed by combat damage dealt by more than one creature, destroy one of those creatures.)
Insanity (Black/Red)- This creature must attack each turn if able.
Focus (Red/Green)- This creature may deal combat damage to the defending player as though it weren't blocked.
Did you mean for Missa's emblem to be for all players? If so I would make require 1-2 less loyalty to activate.
Missa, Goblin Whisperer seems better. Like Boyachi mentioned, you need to change the name of Frenzy. Otherwise, it's a good planeswalker (although it has no way to protect itself which many planeswalkers do to some extent). The ultimate seems weak. It impacts all players so it doesn't help you win the game which is what ultimate abilities are supposed to do. Even if it only impacted you, it would be too weak.
Kargaroth, Trauma Sage needs a different plus ability. Unsummon as a +2 is far too strong. For comparison, Jace, Unraveler of Secrets has the same ability has a -2. It is hard to evaluate the -X ability, but even though it is good, it'd probably fine because discard isn't nearly as strong by turn 5. The ultimate is underwhelming to some extent and could at least be changed to each opponent discards their hand.
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
Eldin
+1 is boring. And bad. And often useless. So in order to activate its ultimate, you make me waste a turn doing a useless +1. Not cool.
0 - This is less boring. It's not very original, though. Also, I'm always worried about how easy it is to replace such a legendary token...
-N: I get glare of subdual. But in new, less interact-with-me kind. And remember that it's far worse here, as I don't get it online until turn 6 or so.
To, to recap, your +1 is not fun, your 0 is often not usable, and your ultimate is a card that exists at the same mana cost and has no real synergy with your card.
I hate emblems for their lazy design. "I can't think of a good thing for my planeswalker to do, let me make an enchantment token that can't be disenchanted!" Not cool. But an emblem of an enchantment that exists is just obviously lazy.
Missa
+1 - Create an attacking goblin that must attack each turn. I've seen this card before.
-2 - Goblin Sneak Attack is kind of interesting?
Ultimate - So it's a drawback emblem. Why? Mass Hysteria costs R and doesn't make me suicide my guys.
Kargaroth
+2 - I'm confused... why is this +2? Is it +2 because the guy costs 5? So if I cost the others 5, their 1st ability is +2 instead of +1? Also, this ability is actually RELEVANT and INTERESTING.
-X - This can fail. So it's a fail.
Ultiamte - ANOTHER discard thing? So he bounces, then discards and discards some more. Magic has been doing bounce and discard for a long time - this isn't doing anything new at all.
Name 1UB
Planeswalker - Name
+1: Target player returns a creature he or she controls to his or her hand. Lose 1 life.
-2: Name a card. Search target player's library for a card with that name, reveal it, and put it into that player's hand. That player loses 2 life.
-6: Name up to two non-land cards. Each opponent reveals his or her hand. You may play cards with those names from your opponent's hands without paying their mana cost.
3
1st ability is relevant, but hurts you, so bouncing might not be the best thing.
2nd ability is deiabolic tutor. Or shock.
3rd ability actually can combo with both - you can bounce, and tutor to your opponent, then play those cards for free! Probably won't happen since it relies on your opponent leaving those cards in hand... but it's possible. That said, in commander you can often guess to get fat stuff.
Missa is kind of Eldin's opposite. She makes all the things attack, which means his defenders don't get to do their jobs (unless they have defender!) If planeswalkers could have flavor text, hers would be along the lines of "nothing whispers louder than goblins", or "I don't know if whispering is what I'd call what you're doing." The card is meant for the black/red pair, which is all attacking all the time. Again, her emblem wasn't intended to be overbearing. I forgot frenzy was already a mechanic, Insanity sounds pretty good though... white blue and green white both use strategies that don't involve turning dudes sideways; forcing them to do so and leaving them without blockers can break their decks in half.
Kargaroth is the nemesis is the block and his deal is discarding stuff. Black/blue in the actual game tends to lean on mill too hard, this set does hand manipulation and extirpate like effects. His plus is a plus 2 because of how aggressive red/green is, and how little any of the arch types care about a single guy getting bounced; Jund colors have a lot of Haste and bant colors have a lot of tokens.
You've given me a bit to think about, though. Kargaroth especially needs some tuning, and Eldin could use a new middle ability. I'm also going to use this thread to post more of the set, I enjoy the feedback.
That said, "My planeswalker is well designed because of secrets about my set you don't know" is not a good answer to anything. It's a really unsatisfying planeswalker, and even if you can make it constructed playable, that won't change the fact it's unfun to use and unfun to play against and flavorfully weak.
2. If you like Opposition, reprint Opposition or Glare of Subdual. Don't make a crappy planeswalker that "maybe kinda" can turn into Opposition if you've jumped through the hoops. I mean, really. Glare of Subdual sounds like a fun card to reprint, and if your core set has Pithing Needle, everything's good, right?
So here's the plan:
1. Reprint Glare of Subdual.
2. Do something interesting with tokens.
3. Construct a planeswalker that works well with it. Hint: Have it make tokens. Maybe cost it at 3GW, so you play it after Glare, or cost it at 1WG so you play it before glare.
I won't tell you have to construct that kind of planeswalker. The design is obvious. And this isn't that.
Re: Missa - You want to have a planeswalker that makes creatures attack. Isn't this mechanically a nightmare, as your creatures have to attack? Printing red defenders "to block for her" is just a sign you know there's something wrong with your planeswalker design. If you wanted to make it WR and have it encourage attacking by, say, giving a creature haste, vigilance, and lifelink UEOT... that'd be interesting.
Her making "suicidal tokens" is not very interesting. It's been done, and is more bookkeeping than anything else.
I've already said that her Sneak Attack ability is cool. It needs tweaking; no reason she has to be full-on goblin loving, but it's up to you. But the fun aspect of sneak attack was cheating a fattie into play. Maybe have whatever it cheats into play return to your hand; not like you should be able to use the ability more than once in a row.
Re: Emblems - Again, it's lazy design. If you want a cool design, have her ultimate be Sneak-attacking your entire hand. Or let her create lots of goblins. Or let her do something equal to the # of creatures that attacked that turn. Something BIG.
Telling me that her ULTIMATE wasn't supposed to be ULTIMATE isn't so much a justification of your design so much as it is either an ad hoc rationalization of a bad design, or a sign that you - for some reason - decided to make a bad ultimate. You could just not give it an ultimate - that'd be interesting. This isn't interesting; it's bad. And it's not apparently bad "for fun" or "to do something new"; it's bad while doing nothing new or fun!
Re: Kargaroth
1. You say he's +2 because of... other cards? The question is why is the card flavor/function as it is. It's not +2 for mechanical or flavor reasons having to do with Kargoroth, but because of other cards in your set? That's not how you explain flavor. And no one believes that this is the ONLY option to "combat" the other cards in the set. For exampe:
+1: Target opponent reveals his or her hand. You may have that player discard a card revealed in this way. If it's a creature card, exile it instead and create a 2/2 black zombie token.
Now it can defend itself with a token. So the aggressiveness of other colors is combated by his ability to defend himself. This is one of a dozen ways to do this.
Final thoughts:
Planeswalkers, when well designed, should tell a story about what a color (or set of colors) do well. They can focus on the whole pie (preferred), or a select portion thereof (Think of a hyper-mill focused planeswalker). Right now, the only one close to doing either is the red one, with it's hyper (and REDUNDANT) focus on attacking. If you want it to center around attacking, make 3-4 abilities that encourage or scale with attacking. That's interesting.
The green white one, clearly, needs to be a generic "I like to go wide" card that works well with your glare of subdual reprint or variant; it cannot be the variant itself without making it boring and, quite frankly, bad.
Maybe make a glare variant that triggers off of removing a counter from a non-land permanent. That'd work with your planeswalker interestingly.
Finally, your blue black one is redundant and boring. Each of it's abilities has too much overlap. Instead of each doing discard, try to make something that interacts with discard spells. Maybe one causes a discard; let the others do things that benefit from having caused discard.