I have been working on this legendary Commander design for a couple days now and I have grown quite fond of it. The card is designed to exert pressure on your opponents to make a choice by offering them what could potentially be a positive reward with the possibility of receiving a significant negative consequence instead. The opponents do not have to make a choice, but if they don't, you are rewarded with advantage that can grow incrementally as more pressure is exerted.
The flavor behind the design is Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter, a terrifying authority figure that enjoys presenting tempting quandaries that often result in agonizing consequences. Regardless of the outcome, Denzana experiences pleasure as she enjoys exerting pressure and power through her authority. While four color designs can be difficult because the color pie can be complicated, I really feel this design is best suited as a WUBR card.
I also created a couple other designs that are designed to play well with Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter but I am much more interested in developing Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter and gathering feedback about its design. Is it too strong? Is it too weak? Do the abilities make sense together? How can the flavor be changed to support the mechanical design of the card?
Denzana, Sadistic ArbiterWUBR
Legendary Creature - Horror Advisor [MR]
Menace, Vigilance 2: Target opponent creates a colorless artifact token named Temptation with "Sacrifice this artifact: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, draw 3 cards. If you lose the flip, lose 10 life."
At the beginning of your upkeep, draw a card and gain 1 life for each Temptation token on the battlefield.
4/4
Take and TemptWUBR
Sorcery [R]
Exile two nonland permanents you don't control. For each permanent exiled this way, its controller creates a colorless artifact token named Temptation with "Sacrifice this artifact: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, draw 3 cards. If you lose the flip, lose 10 life."
Denzana's Demon4BR
Creature - Demon [MR]
Haste, Flying
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player loses 5 life unless he or she discards a card at random.
5/4
Denzana herself checks all of the boxes for a commander that is more frustrating to play with than against. Due to having the same casting cost, I'm going to compare her to Breya, in spite of their different play styles.
Breya always renders some sort of immediate benefit if she doesn't run into countermagic or Stifle. At minimum, you get two 1/1 artifact fliers, and she might also get to fire off her activated ability to gain life, deal damage, or kill creatures one or more times in response to removal, depending on available mana and fodder artifacts. That's without getting into Breya's broad combo potential.
Denzana, in contrast, does diddly squat if she eats removal right away. Sure, you can pop out a few tokens, but the fact that your opponents control them gives you no control over what they do. EDH being a multiplayer format makes powerful upkeep triggers even more unreliable. That's without getting into how deep of hole you end up in when your opponents do decide to flip and hit heads.
By the way, is Take and Tempt supposed to target? If not, you should throw the word "choose" in there.
Denzana herself checks all of the boxes for a commander that is more frustrating to play with than against. Due to having the same casting cost, I'm going to compare her to Breya, in spite of their different play styles.
Breya always renders some sort of immediate benefit if she doesn't run into countermagic or Stifle. At minimum, you get two 1/1 artifact fliers, and she might also get to fire off her activated ability to gain life, deal damage, or kill creatures one or more times in response to removal, depending on available mana and fodder artifacts. That's without getting into Breya's broad combo potential.
Denzana, in contrast, does diddly squat if she eats removal right away. Sure, you can pop out a few tokens, but the fact that your opponents control them gives you no control over what they do. EDH being a multiplayer format makes powerful upkeep triggers even more unreliable. That's without getting into how deep of hole you end up in when your opponents do decide to flip and hit heads.
By the way, is Take and Tempt supposed to target? If not, you should throw the word "choose" in there.
Denzana doesn't do a ton when she enters the battlefield, I considered an enter the battlefield ability for Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter that gave each opponent one Temptation token without the ability to make more unless you blink/flicker her, but it seemed too stronge. What would you think about making the second ability at the beginning of the end step instead of upkeep? How would you recommend making her design stronger without the card becoming too powerful?
I don't agree that she has to be frustrating to play with. She can be really powerful because you can create tokens at your upkeep to draw cards right away or force your opponent to make a decision. She also seems fun because she's very interactive. Additionally, as the game progresses, opponents are less likely to sacrifice their tokens once their life totals begin to get closer to zero. If you invest 4 mana in creating tokens for an opponent with a life total of 25, it would be very risky for them to risk seeking temptation. This gives you essentially two Staff of Nin as long as you control Denzana. She also has a good body that can get in solid damage but remain defensive.
Denzana doesn't do a ton when she enters the battlefield, I considered an enter the battlefield ability for Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter that gave each opponent one Temptation token without the ability to make more unless you blink/flicker her, but it seemed too stronge. What would you think about making the second ability at the beginning of the end step instead of upkeep? How would you recommend making her design stronger without the card becoming too powerful?
I don't agree that she has to be frustrating to play with. She can be really powerful because you can create tokens at your upkeep to draw cards right away or force your opponent to make a decision. She also seems fun because she's very interactive. Additionally, as the game progresses, opponents are less likely to sacrifice their tokens once their life totals begin to get closer to zero. If you invest 4 mana in creating tokens for an opponent with a life total of 25, it would be very risky for them to risk seeking temptation. This gives you essentially two Staff of Nin as long as you control Denzana. She also has a good body that can get in solid damage but remain defensive.
Dear god, you've fallen for the Browbeat trap. You poor soul. Immediate impact is something to be considered, but I want to focus on an even bigger issue: Denzana is a punisher card. You're so attached to this card that you're paying more attention to her ceiling than her floor.
Your scenario is so blisteringly winmore it hurts because it implies that your opponents just leave your general alone. In the early game, your opponents will eagerly crack their tokens, and they'll use their card advantage to waste your general in the lategame. The payoff isn't even strong enough to force your opponents to do anything, really. Just look at how lopsided the coinflip outcomes are. Drawing 3 cards is so massive that it makes a loss of 10 life worth it because a single success on an opponent's part can win him or her the game. On two activations your opponents have a 25% chance of getting hit for 20-advantage Denzana. They have 50% chance of getting hit for 10 and drawing 3 cards they will use to beat you-advantage opponents. They have a 25% chance of drawing 6 cards-advantage opponents. That's 25-75 odds against Denzana's user.
You talk about influence and force, but you need to think more critically about how your card really affects your opponents' thought processes. Zedruu the Greathearted fills an almost identical niche to the one Denzana fits in down to their triggered abilities, except that Donate shenanigans are infinitely more powerful and flexible than Denzana's coinflip. If you want influence, all Zedruu needs is Homeward Path to flip the entire battlefield.
First, I would like to establish that the concept of a temptation token in and of itself is solidly BR; life loss associated with drawing cards is black, while red is chance and the immediate reward aspect. I also think temptation tokens would be better off as black enchantment tokens than artifact tokens since they represent something metaphysical, rather than something physical like gold, etherium, or a clue. White or Blue don't really factor in here, since red occasionally likes to give things (Harmless Offering) and is even more likely to do so with something inherently dangerous and unpredictable.
On a related note, I think that Denzana's temptation ability should be a triggered ability, because temptation in real life is very much situational and caused by something else, so it jives with the 'flavor' of temptation. Like maybe "whenever an opponent casts a spell you may pay 1". That's just my 2 cents though, there's nothing 'wrong' with the current implementation being an activated ability that creates artifacts balance-wise or mechanically.
Zedruu the Greathearted, who I think is pretty clearly used as a baseline here, can give anything and only ever gains people life. That accounts for why she has W in her colors, as well as U for drawing cards in lieu of some payment or sacrifice (B). R in this case is mischief, since the gifts are often not entirely pleasant.
So for Denzana, the W in her mana cost feels a bit iffy and is only justified by her vigilance and her advisor creature type. B can totally gain life-and-cards if there is something lost or some bad situation going on, like Disciple of Bolas and Curse of Vengeance.
For the other cards,
Take and Tempt probably shouldn't have U in its cost; you're not drawing any cards, and exiling things is W while temptation tokens are BR.
Drenzana's Demon doesn't feel like it particularly synergizes with her, but is fine on its own.
The flavor behind the design is Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter, a terrifying authority figure that enjoys presenting tempting quandaries that often result in agonizing consequences. Regardless of the outcome, Denzana experiences pleasure as she enjoys exerting pressure and power through her authority. While four color designs can be difficult because the color pie can be complicated, I really feel this design is best suited as a WUBR card.
I also created a couple other designs that are designed to play well with Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter but I am much more interested in developing Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter and gathering feedback about its design. Is it too strong? Is it too weak? Do the abilities make sense together? How can the flavor be changed to support the mechanical design of the card?
Take and Tempt WUBR
Sorcery [R]
Exile two nonland permanents you don't control. For each permanent exiled this way, its controller creates a colorless artifact token named Temptation with "Sacrifice this artifact: Flip a coin. If you win the flip, draw 3 cards. If you lose the flip, lose 10 life."
Denzana's Demon 4BR
Creature - Demon [MR]
Haste, Flying
At the beginning of each opponent's upkeep, that player loses 5 life unless he or she discards a card at random.
5/4
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
Breya always renders some sort of immediate benefit if she doesn't run into countermagic or Stifle. At minimum, you get two 1/1 artifact fliers, and she might also get to fire off her activated ability to gain life, deal damage, or kill creatures one or more times in response to removal, depending on available mana and fodder artifacts. That's without getting into Breya's broad combo potential.
Denzana, in contrast, does diddly squat if she eats removal right away. Sure, you can pop out a few tokens, but the fact that your opponents control them gives you no control over what they do. EDH being a multiplayer format makes powerful upkeep triggers even more unreliable. That's without getting into how deep of hole you end up in when your opponents do decide to flip and hit heads.
By the way, is Take and Tempt supposed to target? If not, you should throw the word "choose" in there.
Denzana doesn't do a ton when she enters the battlefield, I considered an enter the battlefield ability for Denzana, Sadistic Arbiter that gave each opponent one Temptation token without the ability to make more unless you blink/flicker her, but it seemed too stronge. What would you think about making the second ability at the beginning of the end step instead of upkeep? How would you recommend making her design stronger without the card becoming too powerful?
I don't agree that she has to be frustrating to play with. She can be really powerful because you can create tokens at your upkeep to draw cards right away or force your opponent to make a decision. She also seems fun because she's very interactive. Additionally, as the game progresses, opponents are less likely to sacrifice their tokens once their life totals begin to get closer to zero. If you invest 4 mana in creating tokens for an opponent with a life total of 25, it would be very risky for them to risk seeking temptation. This gives you essentially two Staff of Nin as long as you control Denzana. She also has a good body that can get in solid damage but remain defensive.
UBRKess, Dissident MageUBR - Controlling Dissidents
GRhonas the IndomitableG - Indomitable Four Drops
WUBOloro, Ageless AsceticWUB - Loot & Renanimate
Dear god, you've fallen for the Browbeat trap. You poor soul. Immediate impact is something to be considered, but I want to focus on an even bigger issue: Denzana is a punisher card. You're so attached to this card that you're paying more attention to her ceiling than her floor.
Your scenario is so blisteringly winmore it hurts because it implies that your opponents just leave your general alone. In the early game, your opponents will eagerly crack their tokens, and they'll use their card advantage to waste your general in the lategame. The payoff isn't even strong enough to force your opponents to do anything, really. Just look at how lopsided the coinflip outcomes are. Drawing 3 cards is so massive that it makes a loss of 10 life worth it because a single success on an opponent's part can win him or her the game. On two activations your opponents have a 25% chance of getting hit for 20-advantage Denzana. They have 50% chance of getting hit for 10 and drawing 3 cards they will use to beat you-advantage opponents. They have a 25% chance of drawing 6 cards-advantage opponents. That's 25-75 odds against Denzana's user.
You talk about influence and force, but you need to think more critically about how your card really affects your opponents' thought processes. Zedruu the Greathearted fills an almost identical niche to the one Denzana fits in down to their triggered abilities, except that Donate shenanigans are infinitely more powerful and flexible than Denzana's coinflip. If you want influence, all Zedruu needs is Homeward Path to flip the entire battlefield.
On a related note, I think that Denzana's temptation ability should be a triggered ability, because temptation in real life is very much situational and caused by something else, so it jives with the 'flavor' of temptation. Like maybe "whenever an opponent casts a spell you may pay 1". That's just my 2 cents though, there's nothing 'wrong' with the current implementation being an activated ability that creates artifacts balance-wise or mechanically.
Zedruu the Greathearted, who I think is pretty clearly used as a baseline here, can give anything and only ever gains people life. That accounts for why she has W in her colors, as well as U for drawing cards in lieu of some payment or sacrifice (B). R in this case is mischief, since the gifts are often not entirely pleasant.
So for Denzana, the W in her mana cost feels a bit iffy and is only justified by her vigilance and her advisor creature type. B can totally gain life-and-cards if there is something lost or some bad situation going on, like Disciple of Bolas and Curse of Vengeance.
For the other cards,
Take and Tempt probably shouldn't have U in its cost; you're not drawing any cards, and exiling things is W while temptation tokens are BR.
Drenzana's Demon doesn't feel like it particularly synergizes with her, but is fine on its own.
- Rabid Wombat