* The Dreadnaught flies overhead. The crew deploys its onboard Blightsteel crane to extract the cheese from the nuclear reactor. After properly decontaminating it, the cheese is once again safe for consumption/QRG purposes *
*Some time later, Grey is courting a Soratami of note over some hot tea at his interplanar villa on Kamigawa*
Grey: "Yes, my dear the Dreadnaught is the ideal place for you to study abroad. We travel the Multiverse in style as we collect all sorts of lovely samples both living, non-living, and ...er, 'once living'? With your bright inquisitive mind and ethereal beauty, you'd be an excellent addition to my collection, ...I mean crew."
Tamiyo: *blushing* "I am honored by your generosity, Grey-sama. Research is my passion and I'm looking forward to beginning my studies. What do I owe you for this great opportunity?"
Grey: "Oh, not much. As you may have noticed, I'm a prolific sculptor who is always looking for inspiration. If you'd be so kind as to be my muse..."
* Jeeves interrupts *
Jeeves, the Butler Gremlin: "Good evening, Lord Grey and Lady Tamiyo. I do hope you are enjoying your tea. Your next course consists of a very flavorful and aromatic cheese freshly procured for this special occasion. Enjoy!"
* Grey and Tamiyo begin to indulge in the cheese *
For some reason, Jeeves' Traitorous Instinct is acting up today. I swear I had nothing to do with that! In any case, he grabs the cheese plate, races out of the room, down the hall and out the front door where I'm waiting. He hands the cheese to me on a silver platter, and I reply "Thank you, very much," with a smile and a small bow. He hastily closes the door, with an inkling that he might be in trouble, though he's not sure for what exactly...
I take the cheese to ferocious glacial river, tie it to a rock and throw it into an extremely fast and rapid section that's about five feet deep. Like, seriously, there's no way you can get it without being swept away, and did I mention there's a waterfall about twenty feet downstream? Yeah.
Obviously, Aurora doesn't want to get it herself, but she can send a Merfolk in there to get it.
The Merfolk retrieves the cheese and brings it to Aurora. She thinks of a place to hide it, when suddenly...
A large cat pounces on her, leaving her unconscious and covered in scratches. The cat runs away and takes the cheese with it.
Sharpscratcher (2/R)(2/R)(2/R)
Creature — Cat [Uncommon] (2/R): Sharpscratcher gets +1/+0 until end of turn. “It’s just a cat. What is there to be scared of?”
—Unnamed traveler, last words
3/3
* Needing to clear his head after his dinner date went horribly awry, Grey decides to take a stroll by the river.*
Grey: *sighing* "All of this troublesome red magic. First it was vandalism, then it was dragons, now it's come to mindjacking my butler gremlin? It's a real pain when one can't enjoy a peaceful dinner in his own home."
* Grey happens by the sight of his polychromatic frenemy being assaulted by a fire-breathing cat *
Grey: *chuckle* "Always being mauled by these strange creatures. What am I going to do with you?"
* casts Unmake on the Sharpscratcher causing it to calcify then abruptly explode into countless shards. After vanquishing the feral cat, Grey summons his new medical officer to tend to Ms. Illumina's wounds, then planeswalks to an art exhibition on Shadalar in order to hawk some sculptures... with the cheese in tow, of course *
Thanks for the healing. Where would I be without you?
Shadalar? I assume you meant Shandalar?
Aurora sends a pixie (fittingly equipped with a Ring of Evos Isle) to follow Grey into the exhibition. The pixie takes the cheese while no one is looking (and leaves a Darksteel Relic in its place). The pixie hands the cheese to Aurora. She hides it in a cardboard box... and hides the cardboard box on a shelf that's 2.35 m from the floor.
(She has a bit of trouble jumping high when holding a cardboard box, so the shelf is a bit lower this time.)
* Tahngarth enters the room and with his great minotaur stature, easily retrieves the cheese from the shelf... and leaves a small package in its place *
The enclosed letter reads:
Dearest Aurora,
I rescued you from a demented fire-breathing cat, had my top-notch medical staff mend your wounds, and you repay me by stealing my cheese? Tsk tsk. Well, I suppose turnabout is fair play. Needless to say, the cheese is now in my custody and I will be enjoying it. I hear the cheese pairs well with Dominarian Aurouch fillets. Perhaps I should give that a try?
Til Next Time,
Lord Grey- Sculptor Extraordinaire
P.S.: Just so there's no hard feelings, I included a small consolation prize. I hope you like it.
Ah, this is a delightful game. By this point, Grey should be discovering that what his brute of a bull -thought- was the cheese was actually a lactose free substitute placed there by yours truly. The real Cheese is now currently circling the globe, safely kept in cool box, in a larger box, on a chariot pulled by a pair of Rocket-Powered Turbo Slugs. The Simic do have such interesting breeding programs, I must admit. Now I simply await another chance to take the cheese back once again.
Aurora needs to check the radar to see the location of where the cheese is... so she gets a Kor Firewalker (with a Kitesail handy, just in case) to guard one place on the globe and keep watch for the Rocket-Powered Turbo Slugs. The Slugs continue running around the globe, but eventually run into the location of the Kor Firewalker... who manages to kill both of the slugs in combat. The Kor takes the cheese and returns it to Aurora.
She hides the cheese in a darksteel safe. Near the safe, there is a folded piece of paper on top of a shelf that's 2.4 m (~8 ft.) high - you might want to get that note before trying to open the safe.
*23.6225 minutes and a bruised forefinger later, silph opens the safe!*
*silph dresses up the cheese in a superhero outfit, boxes it up, and puts it on a toys R us shelf 3.4 metres high with a price tag of 30 american dollars*
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
----------------------------
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul "no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
* As fevered shoppers claw they way through Toys R Us for "Black Friday" deals. Grey, tries his best to locate the cheese while maintaining his composure *
Grey: " 'Black Friday'? So, this is some unexplained occasion for fevered consumerism? Honestly, I don't think I'll ever understand these strange customs they have on Terra."
* After a brief search, he finally spots the cheese on that high shelf. But alas, the store is jam-packed with frantic shoppers and he sees no easy way of reaching the shelf *
Grey: "Now, how am I supposed to get it?" * holds his hand out palm-up in frustration *
High-Pitched Voice:"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
* POP! *
* suddenly Squee materializes in Grey's outstretched hand *
Squee: "I LIVES AGAIN!"
Grey: "A few upkeeps late, but perfect timing nonetheless."
*Grey dresses Squee as an LOL Elmo and tosses him into a bare patch of floor causing the crowd to swarm in that direction. With the path clear, he procures a ladder, retrieves the cheese, then boards the Dreadnaught. After having his fill of mystical dairy, he drops the cheese into the Grand Canyon and fills it to the brim with egg nog. *
Aurora sends a pixie to retrieve the cheese. The pixie goes there and... decides to have a bit of a conversation with Grey?
After some discussion, the pixie returns to Aurora with a box. Maybe this box contains the cheese?
Nope. Just a ridiculous hat that the pixie borrowed from Grey. The pixie puts some sleeping dust on Aurora and places the ridiculous hat on her, and also decides to cover her with 1000 Nerf darts.
(poor Squee T_T . just 'cause he's infinitely expendable he takes so much abuse.)
edit: wait.. does cheese float or sink in egg nog?
and MY GOODNESS WHERE DOES GREY GET THAT MUCH NOG FROM!!??
anyhow, silph starts digging through the darts to find Aurora, digs her up, takes a photo of her, posts it on facebook and tags her, and then covers her with a blanket as she continues to slumber.
silph then goes to the grand canyon to taste some eggnog. yummy!
[Grey still has the cheese]
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
----------------------------
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul "no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
I heard there was some nog related natural disaster and figured I'd better go check it out (carrying my CBC mug with me, just in case it's legit). As I approach the Grand Canyon, I wave hello to silph, crouch down to fill my mug, and take a sip. This is delicious!
While drinking a few more mugfulls, I ponder what I might do. Normally summoning a creature large enough to drink a canyon full of nog is outside my capabilities, but I did meet up with a rather powerful hippie recently who tried to devour me with a Worldspine Wurm, all for building a campfire to roast my freshly caught Dawntreader Elk... ridiculous. In any case, a Spelljack and a Lightning Bolt later, that pest was dealt with, leaving me with a giant wurm to cast at will. I thought I'd save it for the next time a party got too boring, but I suppose now's as good a time as any, so I chuck the beast into the canyon. As he sets to drinking the egg nog, I grab one last scoop in my mug and savour it over the few minutes it takes for the wurm to finish the job. Hooking a rope to the edge and rappelling down is easy enough, and I find the cheese in short order. It occurs to me that I'm not quite sure where that massive wurm got off to, but I quickly forget about that as I teleport myself to the canyon edge.
A few hours later, I show up at Aurora's front door with a piece of cheese and a shiny bow stuck on top. "Happy birthday!"
*asks aurora innocently if she is still thinking of getting anything for me for MY birthday coming up later this month* ;D *drops a hint about how much i love dairy products*
on a different note ... oh look, i didn't know Worldspine Wurms roamed in toronto? *watches people flee* boy that wurm can sure move fast.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
----------------------------
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul "no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Aurora can't think of a good place to hide it, so back to the Pit it is. But she alters the settings of the laser to be pink, so now it would cover you with pink light residue if you touch it.
@silph: You don't have your birthday set in your profile...
* Grey cocks his head, stretches a bit, assesses the layout of the room,...
... and breaks out some mad parkour skills as an accompanying techno track plays.
Grey: "Meow!"
*Grey performs a flawless wall run thus completely bypassing the Pit*
Grey: "Meow!"
*Grey does a few capoeira-style spin moves before grabbing the cheese*
Grey: "MEEEEOW!"
*With the cheese in hand, Grey spirals into the air and lands gracefully on the other side of the room*
Grey?: "Meow."
... Meow?
Grey's odd vocalizations are soon explained when he hands the cheese over to ... Grey?
Grey (Who Regretfully Didn't Just Perform Some Miraculous Acrobatics): "Did you have to break out the parkour? Seriously, now everyone's going to expect me to be a ninja."
* Grey's fleet-footed proxy removes his mask... to reveal he is a she. A feline she as a matter of fact. *
Mirri: "My apologies, Lord Grey. It's been awhile since I've been able to cut loose."
Grey: "Well, enough showboating. We have important dairy business to attend to."
Aurora decides to... be a bit bold and venture in there and get the cheese herself. With some careful use of some sort of countermagic, she can avoid eye contact, pick up the cheese, leave some pink flowers (plus the ridiculous hat that the pixie borrowed last time) in its place, and escape.
She decides to hide the cheese in one of her trap rooms, as usual.
No, not this one, silly! This room had deadly hot larva in it! Run away before it gets you!
OK, there's a darksteel safe here (with no keypad this time)... and there's a camera watching the room. There is a folded note located on a shelf, 2.4 m (~8 ft.) from the floor. There is also a gym mat covering the floor, and a marked square that's 1 m x 1 m (3' 3" x 3' 3").
Good job on finding this note! However, it's not over yet. To open the safe, please stand in the marked space on the floor and do five tuck jumps, then five pike jumps, then five straddle jumps. The safe will open after you do all that.
Seeing as this prophecy has nothing to do him, Grey resumes his efforts to reclaim his cheese.
Grey: *from his captain's chair* "1000 lbs? What have they been feeding that thing?"
Grey uses the Dreadnaught's onboard tractor beam to lift the dozing Snorlax out of position and to reel in the cheese. Once the dairy cache is secure, the crew speeds off into the Blind Eternities.
Some time later:
Grey: "Seriously? Tamichanstill hasn't thawed out? And if this situation wasn't awkward enough. :facepalm:"
Hanna: "I'm afraid so, Lord Grey. According to Common Planar Law, those in possession of a planeswalker's spark who are afflicted with 'sculptification' tend to reverse those ill effects of their own accord within a few days. But for reasons unknown, that self-healing process has not yet occurred."
Jeeves: *bowing* "I am truly sorry for knocking off your glasses and running away with the cheese, m'lord."
Grey: "It's not your fault, Jeeves. Blame that meddlesome red mage who cast Traitorous Instinct on you. Have you tried administering "the antidote"?
Hanna: "Regretfully our supplies are exhausted. Therefore, I recommend we set course for..."
Grey: "Please don't say it..."
* Squee materializes back into existence *
Squee: "YAYS! I LIVES AGAIN ...AND WE GETS TO GO TO THE FINAL FANTASY UNIVERSE!"
The crew of the Dreadnaught planeswalks to the Final Fantasy universe with the cheese in tow as they search for the necessary supplies.
Aurora sends a pixie into this universe... it seems to be a really big place, so it might take a while. Using a bit of computer science knowledge, Aurora decides to send more pixies to do a breadth-first search to find the Dreadnaught more quickly. Eventually, one pixie finds the Dreadnaught, and then hides somewhere while watching the Dreadnaught's movements (and also calls the rest of the clique to watch as well). Eventually, when Grey and his crew disembark in order to explore the universe, the pixies swarm in there and do a breadth-first search again. Eventually, one finds the cheese, takes the cheese, puts a Marble Diamond in its place, and then flies back out. All the other pixies follow along. They bring the cheese back to Aurora, who hides it in... a vault made of darksteel. The only way into the vault is to get the key from... this new and improved version of the Pit!
The pit is about 30 cm deep, and there is a pink laser 15 cm above the floor of the pit. If you touch the laser, it will cover you with pink light residue. There are three small islands that you can stand on without touching the laser. However, one new feature that Aurora hasn't used before... this pink laser rises at a rate of 0.5 cm per second (but it only starts rising after you pass the start line). So after 30 seconds, this laser will be above the level of the pit, and will also cover the small islands, and also the entire area to the right of the start line.
So, basically: Get the key and escape from the room in less than 30 seconds in order to be safe.
(Also, don't use any wings in the room. If you use wings, a seeking laser turret will find you and also cover you with pink light residue.)
[Note: The key is normal-sized. It's only shown enlarged in the picture to make it visible; it's not to scale with the rest of the map.]
I send my evil supersmart hipster dragon planeswalker in to grab it. He finds out that the cheese is alive, and convinces it to come to him. Unfortunately, I lose some of his loyalty to me in the process.
Feeling too tired to monologue and a bit apprehensive of causing another sculptication-related incident, Grey depletes the rest of this new dragon planeswalker's loyalty with a "snap" of the fingers thus convincing it relinquish the cheese and look for excitement elsewhere.
*Some time later at Grey's Kamigawan villa: *
Jeeves: "I do believe everything is arranged as it was before that unfortunate mishap: You were sitting there, Miss Tamiyo obviously hasn't moved from the same position, and I was standing right here ready to serve both of you this lovely arrangement of cheese."
* Waves a white-gloved hand over the impressive cheese array *
Grey:*nervously adjusts glasses* "Alright then, wish me luck. Jeeves."
* Jeeves administers the antidote thus 'unsculptifying' Tamiyo.*
Tamiyo:*blinks* "What just happened?"
Grey:*changing the subject* "My, my Jeeves you have really outdone yourself this time. This is the most magnificent cheese array I have ever seen! It would be a horrible shame to let this beautiful cheese go to waste."
Tamiyo:*confused laugh*
Grey: "Tabemasho!"
*After that slightly awkward moment subsides, the pair resume their evening of fine cheese dining *
Jeeves:(Aside) "Oh, yes. I do believe some clarification is in order: I have recently received some modifications that will not only aid in performing my many duties, but also prevent myself from being affected by any form of mental domination (ex: things like Traitorous Instinct, Insurrection, and Control Magic won't work on Jeeves). And please refrain from barging in and making a mess of things; I will become very cross if you ruin the master's evening."
Aurora comes in with a piece of cheese of her own, with a few pixies in tow. One of the pixies starts to play a hypnotizing melody (on some small string instrument, most likely), and while everyone else is distracted, another one of the pixies quickly replaces the cheese on the plate with Aurora's cheese (which is, somehow, of similar quality). The pixie then flies out of the place and hides the cheese in a safe that has no lock.
*Some time later, Grey is courting a Soratami of note over some hot tea at his interplanar villa on Kamigawa*
Grey: "Yes, my dear the Dreadnaught is the ideal place for you to study abroad. We travel the Multiverse in style as we collect all sorts of lovely samples both living, non-living, and ...er, 'once living'? With your bright inquisitive mind and ethereal beauty, you'd be an excellent addition to my collection, ...I mean crew."
Tamiyo: *blushing* "I am honored by your generosity, Grey-sama. Research is my passion and I'm looking forward to beginning my studies. What do I owe you for this great opportunity?"
Grey: "Oh, not much. As you may have noticed, I'm a prolific sculptor who is always looking for inspiration. If you'd be so kind as to be my muse..."
* Jeeves interrupts *
Jeeves, the Butler Gremlin: "Good evening, Lord Grey and Lady Tamiyo. I do hope you are enjoying your tea. Your next course consists of a very flavorful and aromatic cheese freshly procured for this special occasion. Enjoy!"
* Grey and Tamiyo begin to indulge in the cheese *
I take the cheese to ferocious glacial river, tie it to a rock and throw it into an extremely fast and rapid section that's about five feet deep. Like, seriously, there's no way you can get it without being swept away, and did I mention there's a waterfall about twenty feet downstream? Yeah.
The Merfolk retrieves the cheese and brings it to Aurora. She thinks of a place to hide it, when suddenly...
Sharpscratcher (2/R)(2/R)(2/R)
Creature — Cat [Uncommon]
(2/R): Sharpscratcher gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
“It’s just a cat. What is there to be scared of?”
—Unnamed traveler, last words
3/3
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
Grey: *sighing* "All of this troublesome red magic. First it was vandalism, then it was dragons, now it's come to mindjacking my butler gremlin? It's a real pain when one can't enjoy a peaceful dinner in his own home."
* Grey happens by the sight of his polychromatic frenemy being assaulted by a fire-breathing cat *
Grey: *chuckle* "Always being mauled by these strange creatures. What am I going to do with you?"
* casts Unmake on the Sharpscratcher causing it to calcify then abruptly explode into countless shards. After vanquishing the feral cat, Grey summons his new medical officer to tend to Ms. Illumina's wounds, then planeswalks to an art exhibition on Shadalar in order to hawk some sculptures... with the cheese in tow, of course *
Shadalar? I assume you meant Shandalar?
Aurora sends a pixie (fittingly equipped with a Ring of Evos Isle) to follow Grey into the exhibition. The pixie takes the cheese while no one is looking (and leaves a Darksteel Relic in its place). The pixie hands the cheese to Aurora. She hides it in a cardboard box... and hides the cardboard box on a shelf that's 2.35 m from the floor.
(She has a bit of trouble jumping high when holding a cardboard box, so the shelf is a bit lower this time.)
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
I should repay you in some way...
*sends a pixie to deliver three Gilded Lotuses to Grey*
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
Yours Truly,
Lutrai Ephraxium, Otter Obtainer
She hides the cheese in a darksteel safe. Near the safe, there is a folded piece of paper on top of a shelf that's 2.4 m (~8 ft.) high - you might want to get that note before trying to open the safe.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
*23.6225 minutes and a bruised forefinger later, silph opens the safe!*
*silph dresses up the cheese in a superhero outfit, boxes it up, and puts it on a toys R us shelf 3.4 metres high with a price tag of 30 american dollars*
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul
"no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin
He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Grey: " 'Black Friday'? So, this is some unexplained occasion for fevered consumerism? Honestly, I don't think I'll ever understand these strange customs they have on Terra."
* After a brief search, he finally spots the cheese on that high shelf. But alas, the store is jam-packed with frantic shoppers and he sees no easy way of reaching the shelf *
Grey: "Now, how am I supposed to get it?" * holds his hand out palm-up in frustration *
High-Pitched Voice:"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
* POP! *
* suddenly Squee materializes in Grey's outstretched hand *
Squee: "I LIVES AGAIN!"
Grey: "A few upkeeps late, but perfect timing nonetheless."
*Grey dresses Squee as an LOL Elmo and tosses him into a bare patch of floor causing the crowd to swarm in that direction. With the path clear, he procures a ladder, retrieves the cheese, then boards the Dreadnaught. After having his fill of mystical dairy, he drops the cheese into the Grand Canyon and fills it to the brim with egg nog. *
After some discussion, the pixie returns to Aurora with a box. Maybe this box contains the cheese?
Grey still has the cheese.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
edit: wait.. does cheese float or sink in egg nog?
and MY GOODNESS WHERE DOES GREY GET THAT MUCH NOG FROM!!??
anyhow, silph starts digging through the darts to find Aurora, digs her up, takes a photo of her, posts it on facebook and tags her, and then covers her with a blanket as she continues to slumber.
silph then goes to the grand canyon to taste some eggnog. yummy!
[Grey still has the cheese]
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul
"no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin
He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
While drinking a few more mugfulls, I ponder what I might do. Normally summoning a creature large enough to drink a canyon full of nog is outside my capabilities, but I did meet up with a rather powerful hippie recently who tried to devour me with a Worldspine Wurm, all for building a campfire to roast my freshly caught Dawntreader Elk... ridiculous. In any case, a Spelljack and a Lightning Bolt later, that pest was dealt with, leaving me with a giant wurm to cast at will. I thought I'd save it for the next time a party got too boring, but I suppose now's as good a time as any, so I chuck the beast into the canyon. As he sets to drinking the egg nog, I grab one last scoop in my mug and savour it over the few minutes it takes for the wurm to finish the job. Hooking a rope to the edge and rappelling down is easy enough, and I find the cheese in short order. It occurs to me that I'm not quite sure where that massive wurm got off to, but I quickly forget about that as I teleport myself to the canyon edge.
A few hours later, I show up at Aurora's front door with a piece of cheese and a shiny bow stuck on top. "Happy birthday!"
on a different note ... oh look, i didn't know Worldspine Wurms roamed in toronto? *watches people flee* boy that wurm can sure move fast.
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul
"no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin
He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
*removes all the Nerf darts and the hat*
Aurora can't think of a good place to hide it, so back to the Pit it is. But she alters the settings of the laser to be pink, so now it would cover you with pink light residue if you touch it.
@silph: You don't have your birthday set in your profile...
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
... and breaks out some mad parkour skills as an accompanying techno track plays.
Grey: "Meow!"
*Grey performs a flawless wall run thus completely bypassing the Pit*
Grey: "Meow!"
*Grey does a few capoeira-style spin moves before grabbing the cheese*
Grey: "MEEEEOW!"
*With the cheese in hand, Grey spirals into the air and lands gracefully on the other side of the room*
Grey?: "Meow."
... Meow?
Grey's odd vocalizations are soon explained when he hands the cheese over to ... Grey?
Grey (Who Regretfully Didn't Just Perform Some Miraculous Acrobatics): "Did you have to break out the parkour? Seriously, now everyone's going to expect me to be a ninja."
* Grey's fleet-footed proxy removes his mask... to reveal he is a she. A feline she as a matter of fact. *
Mirri: "My apologies, Lord Grey. It's been awhile since I've been able to cut loose."
Grey: "Well, enough showboating. We have important dairy business to attend to."
*After taking a savory bite out of the cheese, Grey planeswalks to Ravnica, hides the cheese in an Overgrown Tomb, then visits his lovable tendril-haired triplets*
Aurora decides to... be a bit bold and venture in there and get the cheese herself. With some careful use of some sort of countermagic, she can avoid eye contact, pick up the cheese, leave some pink flowers (plus the ridiculous hat that the pixie borrowed last time) in its place, and escape.
She decides to hide the cheese in one of her trap rooms, as usual.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
Follow Lasersharp on Facebook
*swipes card*
*safe opens*
yay!
*silph take the cheese out and shoves it underneath a sleeping 1000lb Snorlax*
Goblins have poor impulse control. Don't click this link!!
some of my favourite flavour text:
Wayward Soul
"no home no heart no hope"
—Stronghold graffito
Raging Goblin
He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
From the weeping oracle:
Grey: *from his captain's chair* "1000 lbs? What have they been feeding that thing?"
Grey uses the Dreadnaught's onboard tractor beam to lift the dozing Snorlax out of position and to reel in the cheese. Once the dairy cache is secure, the crew speeds off into the Blind Eternities.
Some time later:
Grey: "Seriously? Tamichan still hasn't thawed out? And if this situation wasn't awkward enough. :facepalm:"
Hanna: "I'm afraid so, Lord Grey. According to Common Planar Law, those in possession of a planeswalker's spark who are afflicted with 'sculptification' tend to reverse those ill effects of their own accord within a few days. But for reasons unknown, that self-healing process has not yet occurred."
Jeeves: *bowing* "I am truly sorry for knocking off your glasses and running away with the cheese, m'lord."
Grey: "It's not your fault, Jeeves. Blame that meddlesome red mage who cast Traitorous Instinct on you. Have you tried administering "the antidote"?
Hanna: "Regretfully our supplies are exhausted. Therefore, I recommend we set course for..."
Grey: "Please don't say it..."
* Squee materializes back into existence *
Squee: "YAYS! I LIVES AGAIN ...AND WE GETS TO GO TO THE FINAL FANTASY UNIVERSE!"
The crew of the Dreadnaught planeswalks to the Final Fantasy universe with the cheese in tow as they search for the necessary supplies.
The pit is about 30 cm deep, and there is a pink laser 15 cm above the floor of the pit. If you touch the laser, it will cover you with pink light residue. There are three small islands that you can stand on without touching the laser. However, one new feature that Aurora hasn't used before... this pink laser rises at a rate of 0.5 cm per second (but it only starts rising after you pass the start line). So after 30 seconds, this laser will be above the level of the pit, and will also cover the small islands, and also the entire area to the right of the start line.
So, basically: Get the key and escape from the room in less than 30 seconds in order to be safe.
(Also, don't use any wings in the room. If you use wings, a seeking laser turret will find you and also cover you with pink light residue.)
[Note: The key is normal-sized. It's only shown enlarged in the picture to make it visible; it's not to scale with the rest of the map.]
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
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*Some time later at Grey's Kamigawan villa: *
Jeeves: "I do believe everything is arranged as it was before that unfortunate mishap: You were sitting there, Miss Tamiyo obviously hasn't moved from the same position, and I was standing right here ready to serve both of you this lovely arrangement of cheese."
* Waves a white-gloved hand over the impressive cheese array *
Grey: *nervously adjusts glasses* "Alright then, wish me luck. Jeeves."
* Jeeves administers the antidote thus 'unsculptifying' Tamiyo.*
Tamiyo: *blinks* "What just happened?"
Grey: *changing the subject* "My, my Jeeves you have really outdone yourself this time. This is the most magnificent cheese array I have ever seen! It would be a horrible shame to let this beautiful cheese go to waste."
Tamiyo: *confused laugh*
Grey: "Tabemasho!"
*After that slightly awkward moment subsides, the pair resume their evening of fine cheese dining *
Jeeves: (Aside) "Oh, yes. I do believe some clarification is in order: I have recently received some modifications that will not only aid in performing my many duties, but also prevent myself from being affected by any form of mental domination (ex: things like Traitorous Instinct, Insurrection, and Control Magic won't work on Jeeves). And please refrain from barging in and making a mess of things; I will become very cross if you ruin the master's evening."
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
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