MTG Salvation

good to see that what i started about 4 or 5 years ago on MTGnews is still around (I was baal)

I will bid some potatoes. Some are boiled, some are mashed, and others are stuck into a stew.

For Butteblues18 and sneakyhomonucleus, i bid:

The ability to automatically gain full knowledge of the highest degree of black belt in all martial arts of your choice....yes...even drunken boxing...
The ability to bend gravity, physics, and spoons at your will
(hey so i'm watching the matrix, so sue me!)
A chance to go back in time and re-write the script for The Matrix Revolutions and script, cast, and block it out any way you wanted!
One of Kank's Buttless Chap Turtle Tuxes! One size fits any turtle!
Knowledge of any/all dead languages. Ever.
Leadership of Umbrella Corporation; because at Umbrella, we own everything. Yes, even that.
The rights to the throne of ENGLAND! Why? Because ENGLAND! is much cooler than theunitedstatesofamerica.
Copyrighting on the word The. Anytime anyone says it and thinks they can make money off it, THEY CAN THINK AGAIN!
-AND-
A portable 21.5 foot hole! It's 1.5 feet better than the portable 20 foot hole!

Add this to my bid :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers:

My question was never answered... but based on what people are bidding, I assume not. I bid a 2008 penny and the knowledge of what will happen in 2012.

Quote from Salubrious »

My soul - it has returned to me!
* Salubrious takes a deep, long breath

Allright, it's biddin' time! I bid:
My "Moved to Casual" smilie:

Rosebud, from Citizen Kane
Nanorobots that obey your every command (Really - no gray goo unless you want it)
5 loaves of kittybread

That should be enough.

...

...Oh right:

Don't forget, you may have already won one million dollars!!!

Me having some after stealing his soul would just piss sneaky off.......I like it. In fact, he'd probably want that smiley.
Nanorobots are a little creepy though even if I have total control.

Quote from d24478667 »

lets see..... verious things ive tried... what am i doing wrong?
questions aside...
I bid....
MONKEY(tm) you now own all the monkeys, the word monkey, the move rights of monkeys, etc......
You become a deity
I bid a thousand head of cattle to sacrafice my god who is now you....
and i am your faithful servant, for always and eternity.
But only if i win.

Ummmm......obsessive much?

Quote from Inquisitor »

good to see that what i started about 4 or 5 years ago on MTGnews is still around (I was baal)

I will bid some potatoes. Some are boiled, some are mashed, and others are stuck into a stew.

Thanks for starting the Soul Market........but if all you're offering for two fine souls are some potatoes, then

Quote from Kankennon »

The First 3 Seasons of Desperate Housewives on DVD. Wow you should see what Eva does next season--super hot!--plus a signed poster with the whole cast
A neverending supply of Nabisco Cheese and Crackers snacks
A subscription to 208 magazines, including Time and Star Wars Insider
The Nintendo Revolution
An SUV that flies, teleports, has missile racks, yet still gets fantastic gas mileage
Fresh Candy Corn
Your own international DVD kiosk business--blow both Netflix and Blockbuster off the charts

I heard that rumore that Eva wants to do a lesbian love scene with Halle Berry

And I thought SUVs already did all that, way they're portrayed in commercials. I thought the only thing it couldn't do was have :baby::baby:

Quote from Sir Blakely »

For Butteblues18 and sneakyhomonucleus, i bid:

The ability to automatically gain full knowledge of the highest degree of black belt in all martial arts of your choice....yes...even drunken boxing...
The ability to bend gravity, physics, and spoons at your will
(hey so i'm watching the matrix, so sue me!)
A chance to go back in time and re-write the script for The Matrix Revolutions and script, cast, and block it out any way you wanted!
One of Kank's Buttless Chap Turtle Tuxes! One size fits any turtle!
Knowledge of any/all dead languages. Ever.
Leadership of Umbrella Corporation; because at Umbrella, we own everything. Yes, even that.
The rights to the throne of ENGLAND! Why? Because ENGLAND! is much cooler than theunitedstatesofamerica.
Copyrighting on the word The. Anytime anyone says it and thinks they can make money off it, THEY CAN THINK AGAIN!
-AND-
A portable 21.5 foot hole! It's 1.5 feet better than the portable 20 foot hole!

If it were up to me, they would've stopped at the original Matrix......why would I want the throne of England......so I have Prince Charles and his dog (wife) Camilla sucking up to me hoping I die.....F THAT.

Quote from Pibbly »

4) Control of ABC, NBC and FOX so you can cancle all the crappy shows and only show the ones you want, when you want them.
.....
6) A cell phone with unlimited free minutes and no roaming charges
.........
10) A MODO account with every card ever made (even the ones that are not in online sets) which gets updated when ever a new set come out.

What about CBS?

I actually know people who would literally kill a man to obtain that cell.

That would be nice......an unlimited MaRo sized Magic Online account....sigh

Quote from d24478667 »

Add this to my bid :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers: :fingers:

Ummm.......you need medication.....stat.

Quote from LSK »

My question was never answered... but based on what people are bidding, I assume not. I bid a 2008 penny and the knowledge of what will happen in 2012.

I didn't answer your question because well I was waiting to give away the souls......umm, ask Kank.

The penny is worthless now, why the hell would I want one in three years.

In 2012, everything will suck. WotC will comes out with something even more degenerate than affinity....some member of the Bush family will be president....and the middle class will still be getting ****ed by the upper class.


OK, to make this simple........the and the nanobots won me over from the start....it was hard to top it....I just hope the nanobots don't turn on me.

Winner - Salubrious


Souls Stolen and Given Away
Kijin --- AlphaInsidious
Slavan K. Guiser --- Kankennon
Incinerated --- CrovaxtheCursed
Belgareth --- Kankennon
extremeicon --- Slavan K. Guiser
Agentdark --- Tyorl
AlphaInsidious --- StevieT92
ButteBlues18 and sneakyhomunculus --- Salubrious


With the extra souls added from the poll, I have shuffled plans around and I am now stealing and putting up for auction (from the bucket of Souls)

Soul #9

Static


Bidding ends Wednesday night.

Start the bidding..........now.

Let's start off simple for now.

A Sub-Etha transponder, a ElectroThumb, and a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with "DON'T PANIC" written in large, friendly letters on the back cover.
A life of adventure (complete with your wife) awaiting you among the stars.
The Heart of Gold!
A lightsaber. Not a replica, a real one. With all the cool sound effects.
What the heck, the Starship Enterprise-E. (Crew bid seperately).
A competent crew for above starship.

I bid:
Total control over the RIAA (so you can make downloading music legal for everyone... or only you, and piss everyone else off ;))
The power to kill someone/destroy something with only a thought
California
Enough explosives to blow California off the coast of the US and ride it around the world like your own personal cruise ship
A never-ending roll of duct tape, cuz if you cant Duck it, f...f...forgetabout it!

DOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoom
and the ownership of sig, site, and my soul-eating bunny rabbit from monty python ( i fed it a soul, and it liked that more than human flesh.).

for statics soul i shal bid

SOME used CHEWING GUM

SOME SUPER-broken-COMPUTERS

SOME SPAM
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
A spam gun
some spam ammos
and a fresh helping of ...........NOTspam

I would like to put up the following as my bid:

1 Remote trigger to a RC vehicle of your choice. (Vehicle not included)
2 Small orbs of pure metal to better transfer static electricity.
1 oz. of Human blood to go with the next item.
1 Altar to Armin Meiwes.
5 gold-plated rings
2839 Pennies because I care.
1 African wooping crane. (THIS DOES NOT EXIST)
3 Mexican Fence-jumping beans.
1 Jewish donkey. If one cannot be found a suitable democrat will server as a replacement.
3 Elephants because Republicans only win if they outnumber the Democrats.
1 Bigot
14 wads of cotton
1 Copy of Moby's new album. Because its that bad.
1 frayed power cord.
6 Old guitar picks
3 lbs of Stomach Flesh.
1 Signed copy of The Bible. "For all those nights in Vegas, Love God."
1 Small boy, use is up to you. Choir-boy option available, inquire within for Catholic Special.
1 Small Boy Controller™
1 Gal of Methane gas procured from German Midget.
Lots of Vodka.
My soul. (Without Keys)

Quote from Puzzle »

Just one note of caution : although it is fireproof, please avoid dropping it in the first volcano you come across. I'm not sure the warranty covers this.

... It doesn't, they would not let me get a refund. Oh and if you happen to loose it to a human who drops it in a stream where it is recovered by a freak who lives in a cave who looses it to a midget who gives it to his grand son... Consider yourself dead.

For Static I bid:

- A television for every room in your house
- 5000 Mouse Traps (Armed)
- the Dallas Cowboys

I just remembered that Static's soul is supposed to be given away tonight.

Quote from Slavan K. Guiser »

Let's start off simple for now.

A Sub-Etha transponder, a ElectroThumb, and a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy with "DON'T PANIC" written in large, friendly letters on the back cover.
A life of adventure (complete with your wife) awaiting you among the stars.
The Heart of Gold!
A lightsaber. Not a replica, a real one. With all the cool sound effects.
What the heck, the Starship Enterprise-E. (Crew bid seperately).
A competent crew for above starship.

No....no....she likes Star Wars not Star Trek....she dosen't even like the word Enterprise (she even refuses to rent a car from Enterprise).....to her Shatner is Satan.....worse. :spock:

Quote from Sir Blakely »

I bid:
Total control over the RIAA (so you can make downloading music legal for everyone... or only you, and piss everyone else off ;))
The power to kill someone/destroy something with only a thought
California
Enough explosives to blow California off the coast of the US and ride it around the world like your own personal cruise ship
A never-ending roll of duct tape, cuz if you cant Duck it, f...f...forgetabout it!

As long as I can blow Florida off the map instead of Cali, I'm all for it. Cali's casinos are too good.

I love ducttaping people to benches or flagpoles, or just making ducttape mummies out of them.

Quote from StevieT92 »

I Bid the acronymium puzzle. Which has 4 powers:

1. Create a bubble seperate from the time/space continuam, where whole worlds can be contained
2. In these bubbles, you have god powers
3. The ability to fly anywhere (incuding outside the buble)
4. The ability to split atoms and sub-atomic particles

Godhood would be nice, but then I'd have to listen to everyone's *****ing...........I mean prayers.

Quote from d24478667 »

DOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoomDOOMdoom
and the ownership of sig, site, and my soul-eating bunny rabbit from monty python ( i fed it a soul, and it liked that more than human flesh.).

So.....you like Doom?

What site are you referring to? Salvation, News, walmart.com, what site?

I can't have a soul-eating bunny, because I'd have to feed it and then I would have no souls for everyone else, that would just be unfair.

Quote from grappler12 »

for statics soul i shal bid

SOME used CHEWING GUM

SOME SUPER-broken-COMPUTERS

SOME SPAM
spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam spam
A spam gun
some spam ammos
and a fresh helping of ...........NOTspam

You wanna :spam:, go to the Gutter. Maybe you can make it better instead of the utter disgrace it is now.

Quote from Pibbly »

My Bid:
1) A freshly made bowl of Kraft Dinner
2) A fork in which to eat above KD
3) A napkin to clean one self after above dinner
4) A chair in which to sit on, to eat above dinner
5) A table to put bowl on to ease the act of eating the above dinner
6) A serious bid from me
8) The number 7
9) A set of key to something.
10) A device to find the object(s) that use the above keys
11) A real darth vader helmet
12) A cape (your choice of colour)
13) A death star WITHOUT the one stupidly small flaw for someone to exploit.

I hate Kraft dinner.....next.

Quote from Urban Druid »

I would like to put up the following as my bid:

1 Remote trigger to a RC vehicle of your choice. (Vehicle not included)
2 Small orbs of pure metal to better transfer static electricity.
1 oz. of Human blood to go with the next item.
1 Altar to Armin Meiwes.
5 gold-plated rings
2839 Pennies because I care.
1 African wooping crane. (THIS DOES NOT EXIST)
3 Mexican Fence-jumping beans.
1 Jewish donkey. If one cannot be found a suitable democrat will server as a replacement.
3 Elephants because Republicans only win if they outnumber the Democrats.
1 Bigot
14 wads of cotton
1 Copy of Moby's new album. Because its that bad.
1 frayed power cord.
6 Old guitar picks
3 lbs of Stomach Flesh.
1 Signed copy of The Bible. "For all those nights in Vegas, Love God."
1 Small boy, use is up to you. Choir-boy option available, inquire within for Catholic Special.
1 Small Boy Controller™
1 Gal of Methane gas procured from German Midget.
Lots of Vodka.
My soul. (Without Keys)

A bunch of useless crap along with stuff that got Michael Jackson put on trial. As far as that goes, I refer you to this that nan posted a while back:

The Michael Jackson Trial

Yeah, I know. But it's still damn funny to me.

As far as your soul goes, I'll get to that in a future Soul Market ---

Quote from Kankennon »

A pot of Dinty Moore Beef Stew
A box of Saltines
A case of Colt .45
Billy Dee Williams
Scotch Tape
A Cinderella backpack
Constantinople (but not Istanbul)
Radioactive paper clips
The snooze button of life
A latex mask of Rosie Perez
The secret of the creamy nougat center

Who's Constantinople? I know who Istanbul is, but I couldn't find Constantinople in the Members List.

Rosie Perez frightens me.

The secret of the creamy nougat center is the cocaine used to keep that stuff together.

Quote from Puzzle »

Hey, I'm not acrizineium, azricenimum, acziremiun,... that !


For Static's soul, I bid a golden ring. Despite being part of a set, it is still unique, quite decorative and can be used alternatively :
- to rule them all.
- to find them.
- to bring them all.
- and in the darkness bind them.
It is fireproof and even has nice motives that appear when heated by fire. Still, it remains quite cold, even in these conditions. So if you drop it in the chimney, you can recover it with pliers and put it back right away with the motives. Isn't it nice ?
It has served very little and has no visible sign of wear.

Just one note of caution : although it is fireproof, please avoid dropping it in the first volcano you come across. I'm not sure the warranty covers this.

Quote from Urban Druid »

... It doesn't, they would not let me get a refund. Oh and if you happen to loose it to a human who drops it in a stream where it is recovered by a freak who lives in a cave who looses it to a midget who gives it to his grand son... Consider yourself dead.

Lord of the Rings.......wow......:no:

Quote from Tyorl »

For Static I bid:

- A television for every room in your house
- 5000 Mouse Traps (Armed)
- the Dallas Cowboys

I will say this as calmly as I can.........I am a Minnesota Viking fan..........I still haven't forgiven Dallas for the Herschel Walker trade.......I ****ING HATE THE DALLAS COWBOYS, doubly so because I was raised by Redskins fans.



When it comes down to it, the infinite ducttape wins it for Sir Blakely, along with California and the explosives needed to wipe America's ***** America's retirement home off the map.

Souls Stolen and Given Away
Kijin --- AlphaInsidious
Slavan K. Guiser --- Kankennon
Incinerated --- CrovaxtheCursed
Belgareth --- Kankennon
extremeicon --- Slavan K. Guiser
Agentdark --- Tyorl
AlphaInsidious --- StevieT92
ButteBlues18 and sneakyhomunculus --- Salubrious
Static --- Sir Blakely


Up next is the tenth soul........

Remember this back in the first post of my Soul Market.....

Quote from Darksteel Underpants »

In order to be fair, I will relinquish Senori's soul back to Senori (at least until I steal it back).

Now's that time.

Soul #10

Senori

I told you that I would get to him eventually.



Begin the bidding for Senori now!

Bidding ends Monday night!!!

K.
THe other bunny i got from monty python, the one that eats flesh.
Me (soon to be your slave).
A Flesh-Eating monkey.
A Crossbreed between a bulldog and a sh*tzu, aka a Bullsh*t.

A signed copy of Tale of Two Cities. Dickens is tech!
1 SUPER JAWBREAKER dispencer with an arbitrarily large ammount of SUPER JAWBREAKERS!
An island. (Size varies, offer void in South Dakota.)
A fortress of Doom and Destruction.
A weapon of Doom and Destruction.
1 Copy of "Doom and Destruction for Dummies"
1 5 year old Advisor. If he can spot a flaw in any of your plans, its probably a bad plan.
1 pair of Evil looking eyebrows.
One black Shi tzu, name: Cerberus
Food for said dog.
1 really cool looking Ducttape dispencer.
A length of rope, size not specified.
And last but not least. I offer thee, FAME!

You may substitute my Soul(Without keys) for any 4 objects listed above.

3 chickens (mmmm tasty)
1 dinner at my resturant
signed copy of my CD
George Lucas' soul (won it in a bet)
1 copy of Jose Conseco's book
1 firepit to burn said book
1 pymgy rhino named Hornsby
the secret to what was in the briefcase in Pulp Fiction
You very own walkon role in Pulp Ficton (Timetravel is included free)
5 bottles of Absinthe
1 copy of James Earl Jones Reads The Bible
1 tank of helium
1 DVD copy of Howard the Duck

For Senori, I offer.

a glass of tea
a squad of Zombie Wookies to do your (or your wife's) bidding
Conan O'Brien
the right to put anyone you want on EVERYONE's ignore list
Daunte Culpepper's mouthpiece from the playoff game last year in Green Bay
a roll of toilet paper
a bucket
A doorway into MaRo's head like they had in Being John Malkovich, except you're MaRo (Enter at your own risk)