I tried that. Everyone I played decked me with Mind Spring or 1st-turned with dredge.
1.Buy Gun.
2.Put up sign warning trespassers will be shot.
3.Leave body hanging on sign as a warning to others.
4.Buy automated door which kills door-to-door salesmen.
5.Clean up girl scout remains with mop.
How to lose at chess.
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Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
OMG It just dawned upon me: Planeswalkers are Pokemons
Quote from Silvercut »
The frame on the green Kamahl, Pit Fighter is very exceedingly awesomely beautifully artistically changing-to-many-adjectives-into-adverbs-ly nice.
Mycoloth: NOMNOMNOM on Dragon Fodder.
One turn later, 1/1 turds come out.
1) Injecet Steroids
2) Try to beat up The Goverenator
3) Almost die to the point that the only thing that you can do from now on is play dominoes
4) Mistake dominoes for a candy bar
1. Walk down pier.
2. Waaaaaaallllllllkkkkkkkk Down pier
3. Fall in water
4. Keep walking
5. Drown.
How to get into akroma's panties
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Hey kids! Don't like rules? Tired of having your lulz censored by terrible, terrible people called "moderators"? Big fan of metal? Check out Metaln☺☺☺☺! This is probably the worst possible forum to advertise it on!
Added bonus: we're holding a songwriting contest in march with a registry drive going on right now! Check it out, plus the opportunity to earn $50!
1) Kidnap Ixidor.
2) Clone Ixidor.
3) Leave ransom note to Akroma for one Ixidor and her panties.
4) Make exchange, keeping one Ixidor and never revealing which one is real for protection against Akroma wrath.
5) Place panties over head.
That's about the best you're going to get from her.
Step 1: Buy the game.
Step 2: Insert into proper gaming system.
Step 3: Select Track
Step 4: Select Big Rig
Step 5: Start the race, and never touch the gas.
And that's how you lose a racing game!
How To: Bring about the downfall of humanity faster!
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Underrated, Overlooked
Thanks to THEY DID WHAT!? For the sweet banner!
Games played:3, 1 ongoing Times Town: 1, with 1 win Times Scum: 1, with 1 loss
Step 1: Get a hold of a couple Soviet nukes.
Step 2: Hire people willing to set off the nukes.
Step 3: Set targets for major cities.
Step 4: Detonate nukes.
Step 5: Watch as the world plunges into chaos!
1. End any relationships (friends and family too)
2. Drop all hobbies
3. Only spend you money on two things: food and bowling supplies
4. Ask local Bowling Alley about that apartment for rent upstairs and about a parttime job.
5. Use your newfound free time to practice until the 300 comes!
How To: Wipe facebook from the minds and hearts of america.
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Underrated, Overlooked
Thanks to THEY DID WHAT!? For the sweet banner!
Games played:3, 1 ongoing Times Town: 1, with 1 win Times Scum: 1, with 1 loss
1. Get into politics
2. Spend 10 - 40 years of your life climbing the ranks
3. Become President of the United States
4. Rename United States of America to United States of *insert name here*
5. Facebook is now wiped from the minds and hearts of Americans... cause they don't exist any more.
How To: Stop your computer from lagging.
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^ Done by ME! (My first banner)
IIW:
1. Design a new Ravnica mechanic for one of the old guilds and make a card around it.
2.Design a mono-colored card using two Ravnica mechanics that both come from the color you're using.
3. Blow up a land.
Winner is Judge Wins: 12345
Step 1: Call tech support.
Step 2: Waste 5 hours on tech support.
Step 3: Lag now seems much faster due to warped sence of time.
Step 4: Don't call it lag, call it a slower connection.
Step 5: Buy a new computer and don't download so many files.
Step 1: Buy 4 Steamflogger Boss
Step 2: Design many cards that assemble contraptions on fan-card-design forums
Step 3: Post 1000 posts rumoring the return of Steamflogger Boss in 11th
Step 4: Weep because you know Wizards will never make contraptions.
1. Put it into a sleeve
2. put the sleeve with the card in an envelop
3. put a letter with the text "break this!" into the envelop
4. send said envelop to the Myth Busters in San Francisco
5. Enjoy watching them fail.
how to do a proper Schoggi Fondü?
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Each reality is but the dream of another, and each sleeper a god unknowing.
We define the boundaries of reality; they don't define us.
1. Put it into a sleeve
2. put the sleeve with the card in an envelop
3. put a letter with the text "break this!" into the envelop
4. send said envelop to the Myth Busters in San Francisco
5. Enjoy watching them fail.
how to do a proper Schoggi Fondü?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Brilliant, you sir, have earned a funny! :rate5::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
1. Find a webpage explaining what the hell "Schoggi Fondu" is.
2. Read the title, and *maybe* bits and pieces of the text.
3. Ignore what you actually have to do (including the millions of Austrians pigging out on it)
4. Find yourself a "holiday" group and label yourselves as "Austrian"
5. Drink loads of German Beers and Liquers and enjoy...
1. get a really pointy needle
2. un-spin the thread
3. get a box, glue, Napalm and a Appollo rocket
4. put Napalm on the mini-threads, put them in the box, glue the box to the Appollo.
5. pimp the Appollo with a H-bomb
6. lunch the Appllo: destination sun
7. watch the firework
8. celebrate the overkill
Edit: Sarnathed (put the ' were you want to)
on Queen:
1. be deaf
2. be blind
3. lack all fingers
4. lose your possible memories of your life pre Solitary Confinement
1. Purchase crowbar, flashlight, shovel, and a keg of beer
2. Invite all your friends over and get them drunk
3. Convince them in their drunken stupor to dig up a body for you.
4. Charge them $5.00 a hit to beat the corpse into a bloody pulp.
5. Mix with water and spend your new found wealth on Magic Cards!
How to use a proper corpse paint properly.
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The creation of something new is not accomplished by the intellect but by the play instinct acting from inner necessity. The creative mind plays with the objects it loves.Carl Jung
1. cut the canvas into pieces
2. boil the canvas pieces for 6h
3. filter the fluid and cook it for another 6h
4. fill into a shot
5. sell to a cosmetic surgeon
how to park a car?
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Each reality is but the dream of another, and each sleeper a god unknowing.
We define the boundaries of reality; they don't define us.
Illus. Goomi.
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2. Buy 12 Mountains and 12 Forests
3. Build deck.
4. Buy drinks for everyone at the tournament.
Next: How to Get Rid of Door-to-Door Salespersons
Inventory:
1.Buy Gun.
2.Put up sign warning trespassers will be shot.
3.Leave body hanging on sign as a warning to others.
4.Buy automated door which kills door-to-door salesmen.
5.Clean up girl scout remains with mop.
How to lose at chess.
Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
Navrica
Argentum
2. Burn said book
3. Find Bobby Fisher
4. Shoot Bobby Fisher
5 Tip king over
Didn't claim my instructions were very good, was going to just put 1. Tip king
How to watch Monty Python without laughing
Simple really.
How to lose at dominoes.
Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
Navrica
Argentum
2) Try to beat up The Goverenator
3) Almost die to the point that the only thing that you can do from now on is play dominoes
4) Mistake dominoes for a candy bar
How to spontaneously combust
Many thanks to Sgt. Chubbz of Damnation studios.
2. Participate in fire juggling
3. Need I say more?
How to take a long walk off a short pier.
Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
Navrica
Argentum
2. Waaaaaaallllllllkkkkkkkk Down pier
3. Fall in water
4. Keep walking
5. Drown.
How to get into akroma's panties
Added bonus: we're holding a songwriting contest in march with a registry drive going on right now! Check it out, plus the opportunity to earn $50!
2) Clone Ixidor.
3) Leave ransom note to Akroma for one Ixidor and her panties.
4) Make exchange, keeping one Ixidor and never revealing which one is real for protection against Akroma wrath.
5) Place panties over head.
That's about the best you're going to get from her.
How to lose at Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing (Click here for a review from Gamespot if you have never heard of it)
A big thank you to Spiderboy4 at High~Light Studios for the awesome banner.
Favorite card quotes:
[card]Pinpoint Avalanche
[/card]"Some solve problems by thinking and talking. Others use rocks." --Toggo, Goblin Weaponsmith
Fodder Cannon
Step 1: Find your cousin.
Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3: Find another cousin.
Step 2: Insert into proper gaming system.
Step 3: Select Track
Step 4: Select Big Rig
Step 5: Start the race, and never touch the gas.
And that's how you lose a racing game!
How To: Bring about the downfall of humanity faster!
Step 2: Hire people willing to set off the nukes.
Step 3: Set targets for major cities.
Step 4: Detonate nukes.
Step 5: Watch as the world plunges into chaos!
Next: How to bowl a 300.
2. Drop all hobbies
3. Only spend you money on two things: food and bowling supplies
4. Ask local Bowling Alley about that apartment for rent upstairs and about a parttime job.
5. Use your newfound free time to practice until the 300 comes!
How To: Wipe facebook from the minds and hearts of america.
2. Spend 10 - 40 years of your life climbing the ranks
3. Become President of the United States
4. Rename United States of America to United States of *insert name here*
5. Facebook is now wiped from the minds and hearts of Americans... cause they don't exist any more.
How To: Stop your computer from lagging.
^ Done by ME! (My first banner)
1. Design a new Ravnica mechanic for one of the old guilds and make a card around it.
2.Design a mono-colored card using two Ravnica mechanics that both come from the color you're using.
3. Blow up a land.
Winner is Judge Wins:
1 2 3 4 5
Step 2: Waste 5 hours on tech support.
Step 3: Lag now seems much faster due to warped sence of time.
Step 4: Don't call it lag, call it a slower connection.
Step 5: Buy a new computer and don't download so many files.
How to: Win at life.
Sig and avatar by the fine people at
[High~Light Studios]
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
Self proclaimed (Draconic) Leader of the one-man goblin mob.
Necromancer: Prices are reasonable (Only an arm and a leg, or two.)
How to Assemble a Contraption.
Step 2: Design many cards that assemble contraptions on fan-card-design forums
Step 3: Post 1000 posts rumoring the return of Steamflogger Boss in 11th
Step 4: Weep because you know Wizards will never make contraptions.
How to win a debate.
"Can you apply the penal code to demons?"
2. Send ransom note for debatee's mother/etc.
3. Argue like a Creationist. (Shout, use bad logic, etc.)
4. Revel.
How to be Chuck Norris.
Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
Navrica
Argentum
2. Write "Chuck Norris" on birth certificate.
3. Profit.
How to best take care of your valuable mythic (aka mystic) rares?
"Can you apply the penal code to demons?"
2. put the sleeve with the card in an envelop
3. put a letter with the text "break this!" into the envelop
4. send said envelop to the Myth Busters in San Francisco
5. Enjoy watching them fail.
how to do a proper Schoggi Fondü?
WAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Brilliant, you sir, have earned a funny! :rate5::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
1. Find a webpage explaining what the hell "Schoggi Fondu" is.
2. Read the title, and *maybe* bits and pieces of the text.
3. Ignore what you actually have to do (including the millions of Austrians pigging out on it)
4. Find yourself a "holiday" group and label yourselves as "Austrian"
5. Drink loads of German Beers and Liquers and enjoy...
How to kill a joke
How to play Magic:
2. Win
How to kill a thread:
2: Wait for someone to make give a slightly radical opinion
3: Invoke Godwin's law
How not to know Queen (the band)
2. un-spin the thread
3. get a box, glue, Napalm and a Appollo rocket
4. put Napalm on the mini-threads, put them in the box, glue the box to the Appollo.
5. pimp the Appollo with a H-bomb
6. lunch the Appllo: destination sun
7. watch the firework
8. celebrate the overkill
Edit: Sarnathed (put the ' were you want to)
on Queen:
1. be deaf
2. be blind
3. lack all fingers
4. lose your possible memories of your life pre Solitary Confinement
how to make a proper corpse paint
2. Invite all your friends over and get them drunk
3. Convince them in their drunken stupor to dig up a body for you.
4. Charge them $5.00 a hit to beat the corpse into a bloody pulp.
5. Mix with water and spend your new found wealth on Magic Cards!
How to use a proper corpse paint properly.
2. boil the canvas pieces for 6h
3. filter the fluid and cook it for another 6h
4. fill into a shot
5. sell to a cosmetic surgeon
how to park a car?