Its time for another tandem story! For those of you who don't know, the rules are simple: add a phrase, sentence, or sentences to the previous post to continue the story. But this version has a twist: make the story as awful as possible. That means use bad plot devices, random cardboard characters, Dickensian coincidences, and anything else that doesn't logically follow. Make it reek of crapulence.
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday...
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GENERATION 12,732,546: The first time you see this, copy and paste it into your signature and add 1 to the generation.
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land...
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with...
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being...
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with...
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banner by god child. he'd make you one too, if you weren't so bad at posting.
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but...
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to...
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GENERATION 12,732,546: The first time you see this, copy and paste it into your signature and add 1 to the generation.
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile...
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"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile at the very far side of space there were two monkeys arguing about who gets the last banana. the first monkey, very furious decides to....
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile at the very far side of space there were two monkeys arguing about who got the last banana. the first monkey, very furious decided to fling his poo at the second one. The second monkey who's name was Bob decided that fling poo at him meant war. He brought out his BK-47 (Banana Killer-47) and peeled that outer layer and stabbed the first monkey, who's name was Joe, in the forehead. The only thing that Bob didn't think about was.....
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile at the very far side of space there were two monkeys arguing about who got the last banana. the first monkey, very furious decided to fling his poo at the second one. The second monkey who's name was Bob decided that fling poo at him meant war. He brought out his BK-47 (Banana Killer-47) and peeled that outer layer and stabbed the first monkey, who's name was Joe, in the forehead. The only thing that Bob didn't think about was the presence of a great orangutan which was carrying a missile launcher on its armpit. With that missed...
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile at the very far side of space there were two monkeys arguing about who got the last banana. the first monkey, very furious decided to fling his poo at the second one. The second monkey who's name was Bob decided that fling poo at him meant war. He brought out his BK-47 (Banana Killer-47) and peeled that outer layer and stabbed the first monkey, who's name was Joe, in the forehead. The only thing that Bob didn't think about was the presence of a great orangutan which was carrying a missile launcher on its armpit. With that missed was that he was actually surrounded by these crazy bazooka-wielding orangutans, and that his only hope of escape was...
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Thanks to Le_Gambit and [Æther] Studios for the banner
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile at the very far side of space there were two monkeys arguing about who got the last banana. the first monkey, very furious decided to fling his poo at the second one. The second monkey who's name was Bob decided that fling poo at him meant war. He brought out his BK-47 (Banana Killer-47) and peeled that outer layer and stabbed the first monkey, who's name was Joe, in the forehead. The only thing that Bob didn't think about was the presence of a great orangutan which was carrying a missile launcher on its armpit. With that missed was that he was actually surrounded by these crazy bazooka-wielding orangutans, and that his only hope of escape was to jump onto the Space Station floating next to him which so conveiniently was headed for Uranus. Bob got off at Uranus and met space-dolphins which carried him through the milky way on their back until...
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^ Done by ME! (My first banner)
IIW:
1. Design a new Ravnica mechanic for one of the old guilds and make a card around it.
2.Design a mono-colored card using two Ravnica mechanics that both come from the color you're using.
3. Blow up a land.
Winner is Judge Wins: 12345
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday he strolled through town to have meetings with the three heroes of the land atop his magic goat. Knowing that if the heroes ever united against him bad stuff would happen, the monster bribed them with delicious candies, but he also forced them to fight over it, thus driving them apart! Oh, what a horrible monster he was! Making them do such horrid things, among them being dancing to old disco songs for their suppers. He would shoot at their feet, and yell "Dance! Dance!" and then throw pork scraps at them. These scraps were laced with teddy bears which attacked them ferouciously and throw evil vegetables like broccoli and cauliflower! little did the vegetables know that there is a man in a swimsuit in new york who does nothing but devise plots for exterminating broccoli. His new machine, the Broccoli Slayer 5000™, can do the work of 100 men. It is his intent to spare people the torture of having to eat broccoli. After all, there have been many deaths from eating broccoli. Meanwhile at the very far side of space there were two monkeys arguing about who got the last banana. the first monkey, very furious decided to fling his poo at the second one. The second monkey who's name was Bob decided that fling poo at him meant war. He brought out his BK-47 (Banana Killer-47) and peeled that outer layer and stabbed the first monkey, who's name was Joe, in the forehead. The only thing that Bob didn't think about was the presence of a great orangutan which was carrying a missile launcher on its armpit. With that missed was that he was actually surrounded by these crazy bazooka-wielding orangutans, and that his only hope of escape was to jump onto the Space Station floating next to him which so conveiniently was headed for Uranus. Bob got off at Uranus and met space-dolphins which carried him through the milky way on their back until they passed out from lack of nutrition. At this time Bob was feeling a little woozy himself and helped himself to some Strawberry Surf Rider at Jamba Juice. He climbed back onto the space dolphin and tossed it far out into space to push himself back towards Earth. He reentered the atmosphere at 5000 degrees C and turned into Bob, the Extinguisher. Everywhere he went, the ground burned and the air snapped, crackled, and popped. He touched a water bottle and the plastic melted instantaneously. The water evaporated to gas and then turned into hyper gas and then into hyper hyper mega gas and caught fire. Then Bob heard a noise and turned around, and there was none other but Chuck Norris. Bob tried to melt Chuck Norris but Chuck Norris was fireproof and roundhouse kicked Bob in the face. Bob started screaming and melted into a bubbly pit of tar. From the pit a single Magic card rose up. Chuck Norris picked it up and wiped the tar off. It looked very familiar to him. In fact, it was none other than...
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Thanks to PurpleD for the awesome banner!
(Semi-retired)
I am NOT rewriting or even copy & pasting that. Ever.
.....Spike, Chuck Norris Impersonator.
This made Chuck really angry, so he transformed into the Hulk and attacked WotC for making such a stupid card. Then, Bob destroyed the universe....
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Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
OMG It just dawned upon me: Planeswalkers are Pokemons
Quote from Silvercut »
The frame on the green Kamahl, Pit Fighter is very exceedingly awesomely beautifully artistically changing-to-many-adjectives-into-adverbs-ly nice.
Mycoloth: NOMNOMNOM on Dragon Fodder.
One turn later, 1/1 turds come out.
or tried to, because some kid playing a faerie deck countered his spell with Cryptic command and drew a card. He then played the card, and everybody screamed because it was...
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Thanks to PurpleD for the awesome banner!
(Semi-retired)
Yawgmoth felt the black-mana pull of the new afros, which gave him the strength to rise from his tomb and rule again. Using the pock-marked after-wrath-world of Mississippi to his favore, Yawgie...
quickly got a part time job as a diswasher at a local macdonalds in order to buy the play set of Jace he would need to update his deck and acomplish his fendish goal. His days in the kitchen passed slowly as he cursed the weakness of his necromantic flesh. It seems mostly decomposed necromancers do not hold up well to dish water. Still it wasnt bad his corruption had already spread to the deep frier and it was only a matter of time until....
... the grandfather clock which Gerrard has been keeping in his attic all his life in memento of his long dead grandpa pulsated with red and blue colors. The clock then floated, and smashed a way out through the roof...
Once long ago, in a land not unlike modern Hawaii, there was a simple people oppressed by a terrible monster. Everyday...
Inventory:
Inventory:
banner by god child. he'd make you one too, if you weren't so bad at posting.
My Sig's smile is better than yours.
Inventory:
My Sig's smile is better than yours.
:symw::symb::symr:Heavenly Inferno EDH:symw::symb::symr:
:symr::symg::symw:Thundering Naya EDH:symr::symg::symw:
:symu::symr::symg:Mirror Mastery EDH:symu::symr::symg:
^ Done by ME! (My first banner)
1. Design a new Ravnica mechanic for one of the old guilds and make a card around it.
2.Design a mono-colored card using two Ravnica mechanics that both come from the color you're using.
3. Blow up a land.
Winner is Judge Wins:
1 2 3 4 5
Thanks to PurpleD for the awesome banner!
(Semi-retired)
.....Spike, Chuck Norris Impersonator.
This made Chuck really angry, so he transformed into the Hulk and attacked WotC for making such a stupid card. Then, Bob destroyed the universe....
Props to SpiderBoy4 and High(~)Light Studios for awesome Banner & Avvy!
Navrica
Argentum
Thanks to PurpleD for the awesome banner!
(Semi-retired)
Sasky for the Sig.
I am in your [PACK]. Watching you... do... something.
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?p=9203201#post9203201
Currently looking to buy miscut Homelands, (my wife thinks I'm crazy too).
Semper Gumby (Always Flexible)
Signature done by perv90210
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