MTG Salvation

She likes to Choke on my Massacre Wurm

I make sure she worships my wall of wood. That's the point where I Scatter the Seeds.

Teferi's Isle. It's like it's not even there!

Fertile Ground

Baby on the way! Just a few more weeks!

Moved to Quick Reply Games.

To counter the waves of depression I'll go with this one dealing with my last relationship.

My last girlfriend could seem like a picture of Quiet Purity but in truth she could have a real Savage Hunger. So much so she'd drag me off to Hidden Retreats for some alone time. We had to break up but she still wanted one Last Kiss for the road.

Wild Wurm.


(card text important)

Might I suggest a Stuffy Doll for all you lonely gentlemen?

Quote from extremeicon

Moved to Quick Reply Games.

Bah. Lies! It's a poll! Everyone knows the Quick Reply Games board is desolate anyway.

RAVAGING RIFTWURM OH YES

Quote from Madding

In order as an average night progresses:

1) He Who Hungers

2) Prowling Nightstalker

3) Lure

4) Cruel Deceiver

5) Abduction

6) Strip Bare

7) The Rack

8) Fistful of Force

9) Into the Fray

9A) Seedtime

10) Akki Drillmaster

11) Hideous Laughter

12) Wheel of Torture

13) Torture

14) Gratuitous Violence

15) Death of a Thousand Stings

16) Buried Alive

17) Shallow Grave

After several months:

1) Grave Digger

2) Wipe Clean

3) Into the Fray

3A) Seedtime

4) Feast of Flesh

5) Last Kiss

6) Watery Grave

This is the funniest thing I have ever read.

It was kinda My First Tome so it was a case of Trial//Error but I used my Pointy Finger of Doom and got there in the end.

I think this was supposed to be sad in a way...

Mine is Confusion in the Ranks, but it ends being Unfulfilled Desires.

Quote from ColonelCoo

Oh my!
My wife and I enjoy a little Mouth to Mouth

As I probe and explore her hidden path she will start to twiddle my bone flute. She'd be careful not to trigger a violent eruption though.


Early on in our relationship there seemed to be a lot of Trial // Error . After a break for a smoke she'd always ask for it Once More with Feeling.

Now, THIS is an example of thread-winning MTG epic awesomeness. A narrated story with such finesse is the best for a thread like this.

Quote from Madding

Man most of these are bordering on morbidly depressing.

Um, what did you expect? It's not like most people here are studs. I take it you're well aware of the type of people who frequent this site and how you're pretty much seemingly the opposite of that? (At least that's the vibe each one of your posts gives)

Quote from Hardened

This is the funniest thing I have ever read.

Your username in this thread is the funniest thing I have ever read.

Quote from Madmanquail

I asked my girlfriend to choose a card for me. She said there wasn't one bad enough.

Nice.:hifive:

• Spread the Sickness
  
• Contaminate
  
• Battering Ram
  
• Contagion Engine
  
• Beast Within
  
• Not of this World
  
• Giant Growth
  
• Monstrous Growth

My Batterskull likes to Puncture Bolt an Undiscovered Paradise every now and then.

Force of Savagery

Manalith.... BAM!

Necroimpotence?

protection from cooties

Long Term Plans

Fists of the Demigod