A safe that has no lock? It might be quite the perplexing problem. To someone who wasn't a worlds-hopping art thief with a soft spot for challenges, perhaps. And, while certainly no art, the cheese was proving quite the challenge to keep track of, perhaps even moreso than any work I've possessed so far. Unfortunately, this was a simple problem, and only took a matter of shaping the dull safe into a darksteel representation of one of my favorite sculptures, a stylized hyacinth with the cheese lying so perfectly in the middle. Seeing no reason to disrupt this art, I simply took the whole thing, darksteel flower and all, and hid it expertly. Only one with deft enough fingers to take my Expedition Map would know where to find the thing.
* Grey emerges from a swirl of miasma to introduce himself to Lutrine *
Grey: "It's nice to meet someone who appreciates the arts, especially sculpture. As you may have heard, I am quite the sculptor myself. Regretfully there is so much rabble in this multiverse that tragically overlook the passion and fine craftsmanship one like myself pours into these works. Since you have displayed such fine taste, I'm here to extent to you a personal invitation to my next exhibition that will be held at the Stensian Epicurean Society's Grand Gallery. There will be plenty of drink, schmoozing, fine cuisine, and of course my exquisite handiwork. I'm particularly proud of the marble figure I made of Lady Voldaren, I'm sure it will be the talk of the town for years to come." * looks at pocket watch * "Oh dear me, look at the time. I must be off."
* Grey teleports back to his captain's chair on the Dreadnaught *
Mirri immediately approaches him and hands him the cheese
Mirri: "Your cheese, m'lord. I took the liberty of picking Lutrine's pocket while you two were conversing. The expedition map led me right to the cheese, fortunately it wasn't hid too far away."
Grey:*cradling the cheese-within-a-sculpture* "Well done, Mirri. You are free to go."
Mirri: *Meow*
After that long exchange, Grey planeswalks to his exhibition on Innistrad where he decides at the last minute to place the darksteel cheese flower into this figure's hand.
Aurora enters the exhibit guided by a Diregraf Escort (who knows, maybe these statues can come back to life?). After picking the cheese out of Glissa's hands, Aurora decides to hide the cheese in another one of her trap rooms.
The cheese is on a shelf 2.4 m (~8') from the floor, but this time there isn't a normal door in the room. There is a tunnel that is 10 m long, 0.9 m wide, and 0.9 m high (~33' x 3' x 3') that you can crawl through, but the ceilings and walls of this tunnel are covered with blue lasers that leave blue light residue on you if you touch them (so keep close to the floor to be safe). Oh, and also, the room and tunnel are made out of darksteel, so don't try to break your way in.
(This is where Aurora is using her smaller size (1.55 m, or ~5' 1") to her advantage...)
Jeeves, being only 72 cm tall (just a little bit taller than Yoda) easily navigates the tunnel. He emerges from the tunnel into the room
Jeeves: "Well, I suppose being of relatively small stature does come in handy at times."
*Looks up at the tall bookcase*
"Usually tall bookcases are a hinderance to me, but fortunately Hanna was able to make some much needed modifications to my footwear."
*Jeeves activates his rocket boots allowing him to easily ascend the bookcase and obtain the cheese. After traversing the tunnel once again, the intrepid butler gremlin travels to one of Grey's penthouses located in New York City where he is greeted by his employer... and his employer's "daughters". *
Grey:*dressing to go out* "Perfect timing, Jeeves. I was just about to leave for a very important engagement. Would you be so kind as to secure that cheese and take care of my precious darlings while I'm gone?"
Jeeves: "Certainly, m'lord. It would be my pleasure." *wince*
Lydya: "Geeze, Dad. We're 367 years old, we can take care of ourselves."
Grey: "We've had this discussion before, my dear: until you learn to abstain from luring pizza delivery men to their dooms while I'm away, you'll have to mind your Uncle Jeeves."
Lexya: "But... we like pizza."
Grey:*sigh* "I'm sure Jeeves would be more than happy to make some for you. Now be good."
* vanishes in a swirl of miasma *
Jeeves:*adjusting his monocle* "Now then, I must secure this cheese in the vault. I trust you three can stay out of trouble for the next five minutes."
* Jeeves leaves the room, locks the cheese in a hidden darksteel safe located somewhere in the penthouse, then returns to the family room to watch reruns of Mr. Belvedere *
Aurora sends a Neurok Spy to locate the safe, and gets a Flickerwisp to make the safe disappear for a few moments. The Spy takes the cheese and returns it to Aurora.
She hides it in a safe protected by this Sporcle quiz. You must get 60/60 to unlock the safe.
EDIT: OK, maybe a task that only 7% of quiztakers have done is too hard... OK, you can also unlock the safe by standing on the marked spot and doing 15 straddle jumps, if the other task is too hard.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
(Went with a darker color because of the green color scheme we have right now.)
Grey approaches the safe and observes the odd globe-shaped emblem hovering above it.
Grey: "Hmmmmm. Another one of that Lightwave's puzzles. Might as well have a go at it."
* Takes the color-matching quiz and scores 60/60 *
I actually did this a few days ago so that still counts. No straddle jumps. Yay!
The safe pops open revealing the cheese that has waited patiently to be reclaimed by its master. The dapper, well-heeled sorcerer retrieves his prized chunk of metaphysical dairy from the safe and returns to the helm of his interplanar warship- The Dreadnaught.
---------------------------------------------
A few minutes later:
Mirri: "Lord Grey, if you don't mind me asking, what is so special about that chunk of cheese?"
Grey:*levitating the cheese slightly above his outstretched hand*
"That, my dear is a very good question. Oh... where should I begin? It all started one day several millennia ago on the plane of..."
*Hanna interrupts*
Hanna:*beaming* "Lord Grey, I believe we finally have a working model!"
* hands Grey a small thin case that fits in the palm of his hand *
Grey: "Wunderbar! I can't wait to try this out!"
* springs from his captain's chair and hastily leaves the bridge *
Mirri: "But what about the cheese?"
Hanna: "Trust me, Lord Grey is far too excited right now to think about metaphysical dairy. I'm pretty sure he'd want us to take it to some grandiose soiree or something. Come to think of it, he did say something about a party in Ulgrotha."
* Crovax sneaks up behind Mirri *
Crovax: "Ulgrotha, eh? That's my kinda party. Come on, Mirri you're gonna be my date!"
Mirri: "V-Vampires?
... Meow?"
* Crovax grabs the cheese and drags Mirri along to a vampiric shindig being held at the newly rebuilt Castle Sengir. These vampires don't sparkle, but several of these lend the castle's exterior a certain deadly luster. *
Vampires? I used to be one, you know. If I remember right, it was Aurora's "blood" that cured me, actually! Thanks, Aurora!
So... where were we? Ah, yes, just past the Lightmine Field, where it was a bit tricky dodging all those floating points of light, but I managed nothing more serious than a little shock when one got too close and suddenly found itself on the receiving end of a flamethrower blast from the palm of my hand. Good times, good times...
So... where were we? Ah, yes, the Castle Sengir. Hope may have no champion here, but who needs hope when you've got skill, eh? A magically propelled grappling hook gets me over the wall easily enough, and I slide down the other side to the courtyard. Obviously I've already cast Invisibility on myself at this point, but that Wall wasn't much of an issue anyway.
It doesn't take me long to find the ballroom where I quickly spot Crovax waltzing with a very nervous Mirri. He's laughing and having a great time trying to draw as much attention to the only visible warm blooded creature in the room, which really doesn't leave a whole lot of his own attention focused on the thing I came for. Timing dance moves is my specialty (as not a few girls might attest to), so it's simple enough to slip between the dancers and snatch the cheese from Crovax's pocket.
I'm about to turn and go when suddenly I feel a little... sorry for the cat-girl I'm leaving behind. I watch Mirri not-really-dancing, more being carried about the floor, and recall the fear before turning and the emptiness after... As she is whisked about in the forced steps, she comes close enough that I can give her a quick touch, Teleporting both of us to the other side of the castle's wall. Removing my enchantment, I give her a short bow and a wink before dashing away into the night with a smile.
A day later I've returned to my Homelands where I stash the cheese in a darksteel orb and throw it into the swirling lava of an active volcano, but only after drawing up a Leyline of Punishment to avoid any pesky "Protection from Red" shenanigans.
Hm... lava... complete with an anti-Kor Firewalker leyline...
Well, Aurora doesn't normally want to do something so drastic, but she thinks she needs to cast Spreading Seas here.
A surge of water takes over the area of the volcano. The lava dissipates, and eventually the smoke clears. However, the cheese that's in a darksteel orb has most likely sunken down to the bottom, so Aurora needs to send a merfolk to get it. The merfolk does so, and hands it back to Aurora.
Aurora removes the enchantment after leaving so that the volcano returns to its natural form afterward.
Well... since it's close to the holidays, Aurora wants to make her challenges a bit more festive. So... she puts the cheese in a darksteel safe. Next to the safe, there are a few pencils and some Christmas cards (in seemingly endless supply.) But on the inside of these cards... it's not any readable message. It's just a musical staff (treble clef only).
Now, to open the safe... you must write on the staff, 12 measures (approximately 12 seconds of time) of the melody of Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and then deposit it into the safe. If it's judged to be correct, the safe will open up.
The melody to notate starts at approximately 1:02 in this video. The piece is in the key of E minor. The first two measures are provided (so you only need ten more).
Hanna has been feverishly pouring over this task... but to no avail.
Hanna: "Alright, THIS should do it..."
*inserts the completed stave... and is promptly greeted with the all-to familiar buzzer of rejection*
Hanna:*sigh* "Musical notation certainly isn't my strong suit." * dips her quill into the inkwell... but comes up empty * "Confound it! I'm out of ink! Squee, go to the ship and fetch me another well."
Squee: "Aye aye!"
Squee bolts out of the front door of the small building which houses this current cheese challenge intent on completing his errand. Moments later Hanna hears a woman's scream coming from outside. She makes haste to see what's the matter. Hanna is greeted by the sight of an attractive young woman wearing a fanciful black and green dress that looks like something straight out of an opera. The woman's eyes are hidden behind a pair of oversized sunglasses, but it isn't hard to tell that she's in distress. Especially since the masked basilisk she's been taking for a walk has just devoured Squee!
Ludmilla: "BAD AUSTIN! You're not supposed to eat the cabin boy!"
* notices Hanna *
"Sorry about that, Hanna. Guess I should have fed Austin before taking him for a walk." * giggle *
Hanna: "How do you know my name?"
Ludmilla: "Oh no, I blew my cover! Please don't tell Daddy I snuck out of the ship! I don't want to be put in time out like Lexy and Lydya."
Hanna:
*Ludmilla notices the sheet music in Hanna's hand *
Ludmilla: "Oooooh. Do you write music? Music is my passion. Sure I can sculpt like the rest of my family, but I LOVE to sing."
Hanna: "You... know music?"
As soon as those words slipped out, Ludmilla promptly grabbed the sheet from Hanna's hand
Ludmilla: "I know this song." * hums several bars while making notations on the stave * "...And there!"
A magical chime sounds and the safe opens revealing the cheese. Ludmilla scoops up the dairy cache and leads Austin away on a leash.
Ludmilla: "Daddy's going to be so happy. Isn't that right, Austin?"
(You added more harmony notes as well, but that's awesome. The only thing that's missing is that the key signature should be shown at the start of every new line, but I should let you pass for actually writing all that down anyways.)
I did, though not by ear (I managed to find the music and transcribed it by hand). And after posting it I noticed that I forgot to add the 3/4 time notation on the front of the staff (as well as the key signature as you noted). It's been a long time since I've played a musical instrument and I've only had real life experience with the bass clef (I played trombone in junior high and took a few bass guitar lessons several years ago) so forgive me if it looks rough. Just thought I'd give musical notation a try... and try to flesh out the supporting cast some more (or at least as much as a QRG reply will allow :D).
So Ludmilla is currently holding the cheese while taking "Austin" out for a walk.
Aurora thinks of a way to get the cheese... hm, why is there a Masked Gorgon standing nearby?
Alright, if the Masked Gorgon is there, Aurora can just send one of her pixies to get the cheese (and leave a Gilded Lotus in its place), while being careful not to make eye contact with Austin. (Note that these pixies are WU-aligned, not UB like the everyday Lorwyn pixies.)
Aurora can't think of a good place to hide it, so she'll just leave it in a safe. You have to get the key from this room here. (Remember that you have only 30 seconds to get the key safely; if you take longer, the pink laser will have risen above the floor level and will cover you with pink light residue.)
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
(Here is the place where I originally posted the description of The Pit (L3), in case you haven't seen this before.)
Grey casually steps into the laser chamber while his loyal butler gremlin Jeeves trails behind him rattling off a seemingly endless list of items.
Jeeves: "... the venue has been secured for the date you specified, the search has begun for the 'proper talent', and as expected Miss Ludmilla sounds exceptional. Oh, and one more thing..."
* removes an hourglass filled with glowing sand. Its lower chamber holding the lion's share of the grains *
"... the spell should be wearing off within the hour."
Grey: "Then I guess we should make this quick. Fortunately a spritely Lightwave was gracious enough to offer this keycard during one of our friendly games."
* uses the keycard to open the safe thus recovering the cheese. Grey carves a tiny sliver from the block and promptly consumes it. He hands the rest of it to Jeeves*
Grey: "Jeeves, would you be so kind as to deliver this to the Orzhova Treasury? They should be able to handle it for the time being. Especially since they've hired a bunch of Meddling Kids to scream things like "protection", "hexproof", "unblockable", "destroy", and so forth. A bit grating, but then again that's the point."
* vanishes in a swirl of miasma and leaves Jeeves to his task *
Aurora sends a Champion of Lambholt equipped with a Darksteel Plate (backed up by an army of Spirits) to get through all the Orzhovan defenses unhindered. The Champion takes the cheese and brings it back to Aurora, who hides it in a safe.
Next to the safe is a note:
"PHNNREBTEGUWSRTISETCTEOE"
Caution: Incorrect input will result in turrets firing thousands of Nerf darts at you, and also covering you with blue light residue.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
EDIT: Since this seems to be too hard, I should at least provide a link about what this is. Here you go.
Taking a breather from his latest project, Grey takes a stab at solving the puzzle.
Grey: "Hmmmmm. This... kind of reminds me of one of those Scytale Ciphers they used in Ancient Greece. Now let's see... if I arrange the letters in a single file vertical scroll, then wrap that scroll around my walking stick, I should come up with...
'PRESS THE GREEN BUTTON TWICE'."
After following these instructions, the safe opens revealing the cheese. Grey grabs his prize then ponders the best way to protect it. Elusive creatures have recently proven problematic, so the planes-hopping businessman contacts one of his associates to assist in the matter:
*Jeeves brings him the Interplanar rotary phone*
Grey: "Is this Ith? Good, this is your old friend Grey. If I'm not mistaken you owe me a favor. You needn't worry too much, for it's a relatively simple matter: I need for you to protect a particularly peculiar cache of cheese in your maze while I attend to some important matters.
... Yes, I'm quite aware of your concerns my friend. Seeing as how you consider the place sacred ground, I've set up some defenses to keep it strictly one-on-one. And last of all, you won't have to worry about any frantic mages since the adjoining lab keeps the spells down to one per customer.
... Most appreciated my friend. And yes, I'll make sure to send you an invitation to the grand opening."
* click *
Within minutes the cheese is secured in Ith's Labyrinth.
Aurora looks at the scenery here and sees that the cheese is in a rather complicated maze. It looks like only someone who never touches ground would be able to get the cheese...
The Drake gets the cheese and hands it to Aurora. Aurora decides to hide the cheese in a safe... and she does want to be a bit more devious this time. What are her conditions for opening the safe this time?
....post a reply in the You Make The Rules thread! (And yes, you must follow the rules.)
Digi of the Extranet :3mana::symu::symb:
Planeswalker- Digi {m}
+1 Discard a card, scry X where X is that cards converted mana cost. Draw a card.
-3 Discard a card, Fateseal X where X is that card's converted mana cost.
-7 Discard a Card, Fateseal X and Scry X where X is that cards converted mana cost, then draw cards equal to half the converted mana cost of the card discarded this way, rounded up.
Digi of the Extranet is an information gathering AI actually created in the Ravnican extranet. This is his "baby" form that he has managed to extract out of the magic enhanced internet used by the citizens of ravnica.
Little is known about Digi, but the planeswalkers and denizens trying to capture the cheese at least know what has been previously mentioned.
:A flash of blue and black pixels swiftly begin materializing in the thin air around the.cheese pirates. The pixels form the shape of an elfish looking man. He is towering, but certain parts of him crackle in and of this plane with low tech looking pixel resolution, making his true size and weight impossible to gauge. His eyes are as black as ink, with.bright electric irises. His skin is a very light blue, and he appears to have black and electric blue circuits bunched throughout his skin. His hair appears to be thin black wires. His clothing is a simple black robe, with luminescent bright blue piping and lining. He sticks his hand through the safe, and picks up the cheese leaving no mark of entey on the safe or.damaging the cheese in any way:
I will unlock the secrets of the cheese.
:digi's form and the cheese dedigitize, and his voice echoes into.the.now empty space where he and the cheese just were:
Find my interests three, and.you may have a piece of cheese.
Seeing as Grey and most of his top operatives are currently preoccupied on Innistrad, Hanna uses her intel on Digi to track down the cheese.
Hanna: "Based on my observations, this digital avatar is interested in the card game Magic: the Gathering, the science fiction franchise Star Trek (with a emphasized preference to the "Next Generation" series), and apparently writing his own brand of fiction that borrows elements from the first two interests. And a bit of drawing as well. So naturally, Digi of the Extranet would be..."
Hanna sets course for the Dreadnaught to intercept the star ship Enterprise. After hailing the vessel and communicating that they come in peace and wish to make a simple business transaction, Hanna and the Away Team board the Enterprise and eventually find Digi engaged in a game of Magic: the Gathering with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. In exchange for a prized cache of her employer's namesake beverage (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. ) as well as personally autographing Digi's copy of her namesake card, Hanna successfully negotiates for custody of the cheese. With her prize in hand, she sets course for Innistrad and awaits to rendezvous with Grey and the rest of his crew. In the meantime, the cheese is currently under the watchful eye of some trigger happy security gremlins.
:digi looks into the holodeck viewer, watching the cheese get buried under all the simulated fragments:
"They.have no idea.", Digi thinks to himself. He pushes a few of the lit squares on a nearby touch screen console. The doorway to Holodeck 37b opens, revealing a huge landscape. As digi enters, he waves his hand on the ground, and a tunnel leading downward appears with a "waaaaaaaaaah" sound. He walks down the tunnel, which leads him directly under the rubble the cheese was buried in.
Digi waves his hand again, and the ceiling of the tunnel recedes in the exact places needed for the cheese to fall directly into digi's other, open hand, leaving the rubble around and above it completely unchanged.
With another wave of his empty hand, a simulated piece of cheese appears in the exact spot the real one was just seconds ago.
As digi walks back the way he came, the tunnel fills up behind him. Before he exits, he takes one last look.around. He walks out, smiling.
"Computer, seal off Holodeck 37b, Red Level lockdown, captain's authorization code 66714.98."
The doors close, and heavy lock is heard.
Digi then dedigitizes back to the extranet.
"Let them follow me here.", digi thinks to himself, putting the.cheese in his bag. A lightning fast beam of light passes by, and.when tail end passes, Digi and the cheese has disappeared.
That lightning fast "beam of light" was actually me, being lightning fast and awesome for the moment. Digi was caught up in my wake and tumbled for several kilometers in the waves of air left behind me, but I was able to deftly snatch the cheese as I zoomed by before he even saw me coming.
I circle the Earth a couple times as I wait for my spell to rundown, then walk the streets of Paris enjoying a nice glass of wine.
An English copy of Neil Gaiman's Stardust was dustily eyeing me through the window of the Parisian used book shop. That was when the words of the Weeping Oracle unexpectedly surfaced in my memory:
A palpable buzz began to spread through my body and my jet-lagged mind snapped awake. I have lived long enough in this multiverse to trust my intuition; it told me now that something was afoot. Reflexively, I turned back towards the avenue to make sure that no one was watching me. Everything seemed normal; outside of the cafe across the street, tourists continued to eat their lunches innocently under the midday sun. My eyes returned to the frayed hard-cover, examining the jacket for some clue—anything that might help guide me to my prize. I could already imagine what the cheese would smell like in my gentle hands. (Perhaps my olfactory daydreams were purely the result of hunger. I had adopted the guise of a beggar for my stay in France. As bad circumstance would have it, within weeks I had lost all my cash and had actually resorted to begging on a couple of occasions. I hadn't had a good meal in days.) But just then I recognized the significance of the cover's illustration—a comet streaking across the night sky.
A comet. I had seen what looked like a comet in the wee hours of that morning: a streak of glaring white across the sky before sunrise. It had seemed, impossibly, to fall to the earth in complete silence just blocks away. I knew, now, what it was: I must have glimpsed the luminescence of another planeswalker falling to Terra. Was it Ephraxim? Or, perfect as it would be, Stardust? Seized with the impulse to action, I took off at a sprint then towards Paris' epicenter, towards where the unearthly star looked to have fallen. And just as my pounding feet rounded the corner of the first mundane paved boulevard, I saw a figure caked in ash and holding a wheel of cheese. Surely this was the one! It had its dark back turned to me now, and I made a mad rush in its direction, cutting across furiously honking traffic and then slammed into this figure with full force. My noisome rags didn't impede me as I swiftly punched him (her?) in the stomach and grabbed my cheese-wheel. I ran, tearing off my poncho and my false beard.
Now I was out of breath and in a trash-filled alleyway. I lovingly beheld this heavy wheel of cheese , brushing away the ash that still clung to it. Finally in my grasp, it smelled exactly like I'd imagined. I closed my eyes and inhaled. Seconds later, colors were flashing behind my lids and the air about me thrummed; but I still clutched my aromatic prize tightly.
...
Suffice to say, when I came to my senses, I was on the back of a hurda in a Zendikar marketplace. I much prefer Paris. The air here is rank and I can barely catch a whiff of the wheel in my overcoat as I ride along bumpily. No one seems to have noticed my apparition. That is good, but not surprising: I am among goblins.
It is night-time now, and I am sitting with a group of wayfarers beside a camp-fire, contentedly enjoying the arcs of stars across an alien sky. These folk do not know me, and they do not even speak a common language amongst themselves. We are united only by a shared lust for adventure and, I presume, the search for worldly treasures. Little do my companions suspect that the object of my own arduous search is now mine and awaits my morning return. Little do they know of the precious foodstuff which my paternal hands have swaddled and tucked away in the depths of a barren cave, nor of the ancient sigils which protect it from the hungriest of beasts...
While the rest of his crew and potential business partners begin negotiations to build a magical factory on Lorwyn, Lord Grey planeswalks to Zendikar in order to satisfy an old hunger.
*Grey emerges from a swirl of miasma to greet Philip's travel companions. He greets them with a tip of his hat and a warm smile.*
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Seeing as you are adventurers in search of great treasure, I have a business proposal: In my hands lies an ancient map that reveals the location of a particularly valuable cache of Ravnican zinos. Those are coins made of gold for those of you who have never traveled to the City of Guilds. And gold is valuable regardless where you hang your hat. In exchange for this information, I simply ask that you traverse one barren cave, retrieve a cache of sequestered cheese, and bring it to me. Any takers?"
After making that very convincing sales pitch, several of the adventurers brave the trials that the cave holds. Despite some unfortunate losses, they eventually emerge with the cheese and Lord Grey honors his part of the bargain by relinquishing the map. As he walks away, he takes a sumptuous bite of the mystical dairy product. His eyes flare up with golden light as a surge of power flows through his veins.
"Oh yes! That certainly hit the spot."
His hunger sated for the time being, Grey seals the cheese in a darksteel cube and deposits it in an active volcano for safekeeping. For added security, he conjures up a few Inferno Titans to watch over his magical queso.
Hm... a volcano... OK, Aurora will cast Convincing Mirage on the volcano to turn it into a Plains, and also have some Riders of Gavony protect her from the Giants. She takes the darksteel cube, gives it a Shattering Blow, and retrieves the cheese. She hides it in one of her trap rooms as shown in the following diagram.
To get the cheese, you must make your way carefully across the uneven ground while taking care not to touch the lasers. To make things even more difficult, the wave of lasers is constantly moving left at a rate of 30 cm per second, so its never safe to stand in one place. Also, after the cheese is removed from the pedestal, the motion of the wave will reverse direction.
Please do not use any sort of wings or levitation spells or else a Nerf turret will fire 1000 Nerf darts at you (probably causing you to plummet into the lasers in the process). Touching the pink laser wave will result in covering you with pink light residue.
Two months later, the lasers have run out of batteries. I calmly walk up, careful to step over the slightly uneven ground, and retrieve the cheese. Easy!
Then I go camping up in Narrow Hills Provincial Park. There are bears around, so I make sure to tie all my food up into a bundle (cheese included) and sling it 10 m up in a tree before going to sleep in my tent not far away.
Private Mod Note
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Yours truly,
Lutrai Ephraxias, Otter Obtainer
Grey: "It's nice to meet someone who appreciates the arts, especially sculpture. As you may have heard, I am quite the sculptor myself. Regretfully there is so much rabble in this multiverse that tragically overlook the passion and fine craftsmanship one like myself pours into these works. Since you have displayed such fine taste, I'm here to extent to you a personal invitation to my next exhibition that will be held at the Stensian Epicurean Society's Grand Gallery. There will be plenty of drink, schmoozing, fine cuisine, and of course my exquisite handiwork. I'm particularly proud of the marble figure I made of Lady Voldaren, I'm sure it will be the talk of the town for years to come." * looks at pocket watch * "Oh dear me, look at the time. I must be off."
* Grey teleports back to his captain's chair on the Dreadnaught *
Mirri immediately approaches him and hands him the cheese
Mirri: "Your cheese, m'lord. I took the liberty of picking Lutrine's pocket while you two were conversing. The expedition map led me right to the cheese, fortunately it wasn't hid too far away."
Grey: *cradling the cheese-within-a-sculpture* "Well done, Mirri. You are free to go."
Mirri: *Meow*
After that long exchange, Grey planeswalks to his exhibition on Innistrad where he decides at the last minute to place the darksteel cheese flower into this figure's hand.
The cheese is on a shelf 2.4 m (~8') from the floor, but this time there isn't a normal door in the room. There is a tunnel that is 10 m long, 0.9 m wide, and 0.9 m high (~33' x 3' x 3') that you can crawl through, but the ceilings and walls of this tunnel are covered with blue lasers that leave blue light residue on you if you touch them (so keep close to the floor to be safe). Oh, and also, the room and tunnel are made out of darksteel, so don't try to break your way in.
(This is where Aurora is using her smaller size (1.55 m, or ~5' 1") to her advantage...)
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
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Jeeves: "Well, I suppose being of relatively small stature does come in handy at times."
*Looks up at the tall bookcase*
"Usually tall bookcases are a hinderance to me, but fortunately Hanna was able to make some much needed modifications to my footwear."
*Jeeves activates his rocket boots allowing him to easily ascend the bookcase and obtain the cheese. After traversing the tunnel once again, the intrepid butler gremlin travels to one of Grey's penthouses located in New York City where he is greeted by his employer... and his employer's "daughters". *
Grey: *dressing to go out* "Perfect timing, Jeeves. I was just about to leave for a very important engagement. Would you be so kind as to secure that cheese and take care of my precious darlings while I'm gone?"
Jeeves: "Certainly, m'lord. It would be my pleasure." *wince*
Lydya: "Geeze, Dad. We're 367 years old, we can take care of ourselves."
Grey: "We've had this discussion before, my dear: until you learn to abstain from luring pizza delivery men to their dooms while I'm away, you'll have to mind your Uncle Jeeves."
Lexya: "But... we like pizza."
Grey: *sigh* "I'm sure Jeeves would be more than happy to make some for you. Now be good."
* vanishes in a swirl of miasma *
Jeeves: *adjusting his monocle* "Now then, I must secure this cheese in the vault. I trust you three can stay out of trouble for the next five minutes."
* Jeeves leaves the room, locks the cheese in a hidden darksteel safe located somewhere in the penthouse, then returns to the family room to watch reruns of Mr. Belvedere *
Aurora sends a Neurok Spy to locate the safe, and gets a Flickerwisp to make the safe disappear for a few moments. The Spy takes the cheese and returns it to Aurora.
She hides it in a safe protected by this Sporcle quiz. You must get 60/60 to unlock the safe.
EDIT: OK, maybe a task that only 7% of quiztakers have done is too hard... OK, you can also unlock the safe by standing on the marked spot and doing 15 straddle jumps, if the other task is too hard.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
(Went with a darker color because of the green color scheme we have right now.)
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Grey: "Hmmmmm. Another one of that Lightwave's puzzles. Might as well have a go at it."
* Takes the color-matching quiz and scores 60/60 *
I actually did this a few days ago so that still counts. No straddle jumps. Yay!
The safe pops open revealing the cheese that has waited patiently to be reclaimed by its master. The dapper, well-heeled sorcerer retrieves his prized chunk of metaphysical dairy from the safe and returns to the helm of his interplanar warship- The Dreadnaught.
---------------------------------------------
A few minutes later:
Mirri: "Lord Grey, if you don't mind me asking, what is so special about that chunk of cheese?"
Grey: *levitating the cheese slightly above his outstretched hand*
"That, my dear is a very good question. Oh... where should I begin? It all started one day several millennia ago on the plane of..."
*Hanna interrupts*
Hanna: *beaming* "Lord Grey, I believe we finally have a working model!"
* hands Grey a small thin case that fits in the palm of his hand *
Grey: "Wunderbar! I can't wait to try this out!"
* springs from his captain's chair and hastily leaves the bridge *
Mirri: "But what about the cheese?"
Hanna: "Trust me, Lord Grey is far too excited right now to think about metaphysical dairy. I'm pretty sure he'd want us to take it to some grandiose soiree or something. Come to think of it, he did say something about a party in Ulgrotha."
* Crovax sneaks up behind Mirri *
Crovax: "Ulgrotha, eh? That's my kinda party. Come on, Mirri you're gonna be my date!"
Mirri: "V-Vampires?
... Meow?"
* Crovax grabs the cheese and drags Mirri along to a vampiric shindig being held at the newly rebuilt Castle Sengir. These vampires don't sparkle, but several of these lend the castle's exterior a certain deadly luster. *
So... where were we? Ah, yes, just past the Lightmine Field, where it was a bit tricky dodging all those floating points of light, but I managed nothing more serious than a little shock when one got too close and suddenly found itself on the receiving end of a flamethrower blast from the palm of my hand. Good times, good times...
So... where were we? Ah, yes, the Castle Sengir. Hope may have no champion here, but who needs hope when you've got skill, eh? A magically propelled grappling hook gets me over the wall easily enough, and I slide down the other side to the courtyard. Obviously I've already cast Invisibility on myself at this point, but that Wall wasn't much of an issue anyway.
It doesn't take me long to find the ballroom where I quickly spot Crovax waltzing with a very nervous Mirri. He's laughing and having a great time trying to draw as much attention to the only visible warm blooded creature in the room, which really doesn't leave a whole lot of his own attention focused on the thing I came for. Timing dance moves is my specialty (as not a few girls might attest to), so it's simple enough to slip between the dancers and snatch the cheese from Crovax's pocket.
I'm about to turn and go when suddenly I feel a little... sorry for the cat-girl I'm leaving behind. I watch Mirri not-really-dancing, more being carried about the floor, and recall the fear before turning and the emptiness after... As she is whisked about in the forced steps, she comes close enough that I can give her a quick touch, Teleporting both of us to the other side of the castle's wall. Removing my enchantment, I give her a short bow and a wink before dashing away into the night with a smile.
A day later I've returned to my Homelands where I stash the cheese in a darksteel orb and throw it into the swirling lava of an active volcano, but only after drawing up a Leyline of Punishment to avoid any pesky "Protection from Red" shenanigans.
Well, Aurora doesn't normally want to do something so drastic, but she thinks she needs to cast Spreading Seas here.
A surge of water takes over the area of the volcano. The lava dissipates, and eventually the smoke clears. However, the cheese that's in a darksteel orb has most likely sunken down to the bottom, so Aurora needs to send a merfolk to get it. The merfolk does so, and hands it back to Aurora.
Aurora removes the enchantment after leaving so that the volcano returns to its natural form afterward.
Well... since it's close to the holidays, Aurora wants to make her challenges a bit more festive. So... she puts the cheese in a darksteel safe. Next to the safe, there are a few pencils and some Christmas cards (in seemingly endless supply.) But on the inside of these cards... it's not any readable message. It's just a musical staff (treble clef only).
Now, to open the safe... you must write on the staff, 12 measures (approximately 12 seconds of time) of the melody of Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24 by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, and then deposit it into the safe. If it's judged to be correct, the safe will open up.
The melody to notate starts at approximately 1:02 in this video. The piece is in the key of E minor. The first two measures are provided (so you only need ten more).
Good luck!
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
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Hanna: "Alright, THIS should do it..."
*inserts the completed stave... and is promptly greeted with the all-to familiar buzzer of rejection*
Hanna: *sigh* "Musical notation certainly isn't my strong suit." * dips her quill into the inkwell... but comes up empty * "Confound it! I'm out of ink! Squee, go to the ship and fetch me another well."
Squee: "Aye aye!"
Squee bolts out of the front door of the small building which houses this current cheese challenge intent on completing his errand. Moments later Hanna hears a woman's scream coming from outside. She makes haste to see what's the matter. Hanna is greeted by the sight of an attractive young woman wearing a fanciful black and green dress that looks like something straight out of an opera. The woman's eyes are hidden behind a pair of oversized sunglasses, but it isn't hard to tell that she's in distress. Especially since the masked basilisk she's been taking for a walk has just devoured Squee!
Ludmilla: "BAD AUSTIN! You're not supposed to eat the cabin boy!"
* notices Hanna *
"Sorry about that, Hanna. Guess I should have fed Austin before taking him for a walk." * giggle *
Hanna: "How do you know my name?"
Ludmilla: "Oh no, I blew my cover! Please don't tell Daddy I snuck out of the ship! I don't want to be put in time out like Lexy and Lydya."
Hanna:
*Ludmilla notices the sheet music in Hanna's hand *
Ludmilla: "Oooooh. Do you write music? Music is my passion. Sure I can sculpt like the rest of my family, but I LOVE to sing."
Hanna: "You... know music?"
As soon as those words slipped out, Ludmilla promptly grabbed the sheet from Hanna's hand
Ludmilla: "I know this song." * hums several bars while making notations on the stave * "...And there!"
A magical chime sounds and the safe opens revealing the cheese. Ludmilla scoops up the dairy cache and leads Austin away on a leash.
Ludmilla: "Daddy's going to be so happy. Isn't that right, Austin?"
Austin: "Ssssssssssss. DA! DA! "
Hanna just stands there confused.
(You added more harmony notes as well, but that's awesome. The only thing that's missing is that the key signature should be shown at the start of every new line, but I should let you pass for actually writing all that down anyways.)
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So Ludmilla is currently holding the cheese while taking "Austin" out for a walk.
Aurora thinks of a way to get the cheese... hm, why is there a Masked Gorgon standing nearby?
Alright, if the Masked Gorgon is there, Aurora can just send one of her pixies to get the cheese (and leave a Gilded Lotus in its place), while being careful not to make eye contact with Austin. (Note that these pixies are WU-aligned, not UB like the everyday Lorwyn pixies.)
Aurora can't think of a good place to hide it, so she'll just leave it in a safe. You have to get the key from this room here. (Remember that you have only 30 seconds to get the key safely; if you take longer, the pink laser will have risen above the floor level and will cover you with pink light residue.)
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
(Here is the place where I originally posted the description of The Pit (L3), in case you haven't seen this before.)
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Jeeves: "... the venue has been secured for the date you specified, the search has begun for the 'proper talent', and as expected Miss Ludmilla sounds exceptional. Oh, and one more thing..."
* removes an hourglass filled with glowing sand. Its lower chamber holding the lion's share of the grains *
"... the spell should be wearing off within the hour."
Grey: "Then I guess we should make this quick. Fortunately a spritely Lightwave was gracious enough to offer this keycard during one of our friendly games."
* uses the keycard to open the safe thus recovering the cheese. Grey carves a tiny sliver from the block and promptly consumes it. He hands the rest of it to Jeeves*
Grey: "Jeeves, would you be so kind as to deliver this to the Orzhova Treasury? They should be able to handle it for the time being. Especially since they've hired a bunch of Meddling Kids to scream things like "protection", "hexproof", "unblockable", "destroy", and so forth. A bit grating, but then again that's the point."
* vanishes in a swirl of miasma and leaves Jeeves to his task *
Next to the safe is a note:
"PHNNREBTEGUWSRTISETCTEOE"
Caution: Incorrect input will result in turrets firing thousands of Nerf darts at you, and also covering you with blue light residue.
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
EDIT: Since this seems to be too hard, I should at least provide a link about what this is. Here you go.
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Grey: "Hmmmmm. This... kind of reminds me of one of those Scytale Ciphers they used in Ancient Greece. Now let's see... if I arrange the letters in a single file vertical scroll, then wrap that scroll around my walking stick, I should come up with...
'PRESS THE GREEN BUTTON TWICE'."
After following these instructions, the safe opens revealing the cheese. Grey grabs his prize then ponders the best way to protect it. Elusive creatures have recently proven problematic, so the planes-hopping businessman contacts one of his associates to assist in the matter:
*Jeeves brings him the Interplanar rotary phone*
Grey: "Is this Ith? Good, this is your old friend Grey. If I'm not mistaken you owe me a favor. You needn't worry too much, for it's a relatively simple matter: I need for you to protect a particularly peculiar cache of cheese in your maze while I attend to some important matters.
... Yes, I'm quite aware of your concerns my friend. Seeing as how you consider the place sacred ground, I've set up some defenses to keep it strictly one-on-one. And last of all, you won't have to worry about any frantic mages since the adjoining lab keeps the spells down to one per customer.
... Most appreciated my friend. And yes, I'll make sure to send you an invitation to the grand opening."
* click *
Within minutes the cheese is secured in Ith's Labyrinth.
The Drake gets the cheese and hands it to Aurora. Aurora decides to hide the cheese in a safe... and she does want to be a bit more devious this time. What are her conditions for opening the safe this time?
—Aurora, Ætherwalker
(Note: 404 ERROR is not me.)
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Planeswalker- Digi {m}
+1 Discard a card, scry X where X is that cards converted mana cost. Draw a card.
-3 Discard a card, Fateseal X where X is that card's converted mana cost.
-7 Discard a Card, Fateseal X and Scry X where X is that cards converted mana cost, then draw cards equal to half the converted mana cost of the card discarded this way, rounded up.
Little is known about Digi, but the planeswalkers and denizens trying to capture the cheese at least know what has been previously mentioned.
:A flash of blue and black pixels swiftly begin materializing in the thin air around the.cheese pirates. The pixels form the shape of an elfish looking man. He is towering, but certain parts of him crackle in and of this plane with low tech looking pixel resolution, making his true size and weight impossible to gauge. His eyes are as black as ink, with.bright electric irises. His skin is a very light blue, and he appears to have black and electric blue circuits bunched throughout his skin. His hair appears to be thin black wires. His clothing is a simple black robe, with luminescent bright blue piping and lining. He sticks his hand through the safe, and picks up the cheese leaving no mark of entey on the safe or.damaging the cheese in any way:
I will unlock the secrets of the cheese.
:digi's form and the cheese dedigitize, and his voice echoes into.the.now empty space where he and the cheese just were:
Find my interests three, and.you may have a piece of cheese.
Putting the sexy in Science Fiction!
gamertag: filthychocolate
Hanna: "Based on my observations, this digital avatar is interested in the card game Magic: the Gathering, the science fiction franchise Star Trek (with a emphasized preference to the "Next Generation" series), and apparently writing his own brand of fiction that borrows elements from the first two interests. And a bit of drawing as well. So naturally, Digi of the Extranet would be..."
Hanna sets course for the Dreadnaught to intercept the star ship Enterprise. After hailing the vessel and communicating that they come in peace and wish to make a simple business transaction, Hanna and the Away Team board the Enterprise and eventually find Digi engaged in a game of Magic: the Gathering with Captain Jean-Luc Picard. In exchange for a prized cache of her employer's namesake beverage (Tea. Earl Grey. Hot. ) as well as personally autographing Digi's copy of her namesake card, Hanna successfully negotiates for custody of the cheese. With her prize in hand, she sets course for Innistrad and awaits to rendezvous with Grey and the rest of his crew. In the meantime, the cheese is currently under the watchful eye of some trigger happy security gremlins.
*stuffs cheese under blocks and blocks of wood, rocks and ice*
"They.have no idea.", Digi thinks to himself. He pushes a few of the lit squares on a nearby touch screen console. The doorway to Holodeck 37b opens, revealing a huge landscape. As digi enters, he waves his hand on the ground, and a tunnel leading downward appears with a "waaaaaaaaaah" sound. He walks down the tunnel, which leads him directly under the rubble the cheese was buried in.
Digi waves his hand again, and the ceiling of the tunnel recedes in the exact places needed for the cheese to fall directly into digi's other, open hand, leaving the rubble around and above it completely unchanged.
With another wave of his empty hand, a simulated piece of cheese appears in the exact spot the real one was just seconds ago.
As digi walks back the way he came, the tunnel fills up behind him. Before he exits, he takes one last look.around. He walks out, smiling.
"Computer, seal off Holodeck 37b, Red Level lockdown, captain's authorization code 66714.98."
The doors close, and heavy lock is heard.
Digi then dedigitizes back to the extranet.
"Let them follow me here.", digi thinks to himself, putting the.cheese in his bag. A lightning fast beam of light passes by, and.when tail end passes, Digi and the cheese has disappeared.
Putting the sexy in Science Fiction!
gamertag: filthychocolate
I circle the Earth a couple times as I wait for my spell to rundown, then walk the streets of Paris enjoying a nice glass of wine.
A palpable buzz began to spread through my body and my jet-lagged mind snapped awake. I have lived long enough in this multiverse to trust my intuition; it told me now that something was afoot. Reflexively, I turned back towards the avenue to make sure that no one was watching me. Everything seemed normal; outside of the cafe across the street, tourists continued to eat their lunches innocently under the midday sun. My eyes returned to the frayed hard-cover, examining the jacket for some clue—anything that might help guide me to my prize. I could already imagine what the cheese would smell like in my gentle hands. (Perhaps my olfactory daydreams were purely the result of hunger. I had adopted the guise of a beggar for my stay in France. As bad circumstance would have it, within weeks I had lost all my cash and had actually resorted to begging on a couple of occasions. I hadn't had a good meal in days.) But just then I recognized the significance of the cover's illustration—a comet streaking across the night sky.
A comet. I had seen what looked like a comet in the wee hours of that morning: a streak of glaring white across the sky before sunrise. It had seemed, impossibly, to fall to the earth in complete silence just blocks away. I knew, now, what it was: I must have glimpsed the luminescence of another planeswalker falling to Terra. Was it Ephraxim? Or, perfect as it would be, Stardust? Seized with the impulse to action, I took off at a sprint then towards Paris' epicenter, towards where the unearthly star looked to have fallen. And just as my pounding feet rounded the corner of the first mundane paved boulevard, I saw a figure caked in ash and holding a wheel of cheese. Surely this was the one! It had its dark back turned to me now, and I made a mad rush in its direction, cutting across furiously honking traffic and then slammed into this figure with full force. My noisome rags didn't impede me as I swiftly punched him (her?) in the stomach and grabbed my cheese-wheel. I ran, tearing off my poncho and my false beard.
Now I was out of breath and in a trash-filled alleyway. I lovingly beheld this heavy wheel of cheese , brushing away the ash that still clung to it. Finally in my grasp, it smelled exactly like I'd imagined. I closed my eyes and inhaled. Seconds later, colors were flashing behind my lids and the air about me thrummed; but I still clutched my aromatic prize tightly.
...
Suffice to say, when I came to my senses, I was on the back of a hurda in a Zendikar marketplace. I much prefer Paris. The air here is rank and I can barely catch a whiff of the wheel in my overcoat as I ride along bumpily. No one seems to have noticed my apparition. That is good, but not surprising: I am among goblins.
*Grey emerges from a swirl of miasma to greet Philip's travel companions. He greets them with a tip of his hat and a warm smile.*
"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Seeing as you are adventurers in search of great treasure, I have a business proposal: In my hands lies an ancient map that reveals the location of a particularly valuable cache of Ravnican zinos. Those are coins made of gold for those of you who have never traveled to the City of Guilds. And gold is valuable regardless where you hang your hat. In exchange for this information, I simply ask that you traverse one barren cave, retrieve a cache of sequestered cheese, and bring it to me. Any takers?"
After making that very convincing sales pitch, several of the adventurers brave the trials that the cave holds. Despite some unfortunate losses, they eventually emerge with the cheese and Lord Grey honors his part of the bargain by relinquishing the map. As he walks away, he takes a sumptuous bite of the mystical dairy product. His eyes flare up with golden light as a surge of power flows through his veins.
"Oh yes! That certainly hit the spot."
His hunger sated for the time being, Grey seals the cheese in a darksteel cube and deposits it in an active volcano for safekeeping. For added security, he conjures up a few Inferno Titans to watch over his magical queso.
To get the cheese, you must make your way carefully across the uneven ground while taking care not to touch the lasers. To make things even more difficult, the wave of lasers is constantly moving left at a rate of 30 cm per second, so its never safe to stand in one place. Also, after the cheese is removed from the pedestal, the motion of the wave will reverse direction.
Please do not use any sort of wings or levitation spells or else a Nerf turret will fire 1000 Nerf darts at you (probably causing you to plummet into the lasers in the process). Touching the pink laser wave will result in covering you with pink light residue.
~Aurora, Ætherwalker
Official Quizmaster of The Crafters!
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Then I go camping up in Narrow Hills Provincial Park. There are bears around, so I make sure to tie all my food up into a bundle (cheese included) and sling it 10 m up in a tree before going to sleep in my tent not far away.