I guess I will choose to go to sometimes if you guys will take me back/nullify my resigning (I want to do this, I never wanted to leave) I just feel the way I am being treated by ria despite never saying a word against him or even putting my opinion in to the matter yet still getting cold shouldered and having snarky posts thrown my way just for being a poster in a subforum of people he doesn't like/agree with.
I quite like tlo's idea of taking a long break until this settles down (like I wasn't on a break already =p) but I just can't stand the atmosphere of this thread right now.
In unrelated news I'm rockin' the BC Sunshine Coast until friday, filled with arbutus trees, cool ocean air, pristine islands, and not a single **** to be given. I'm also going to be taking the ferry over the strait to eastern Vancouver Island, land of the hippies.
*noms on a delicious avocado cream cheese sandvich*
I just feel the way I am being treated by ria despite never saying a word against him or even putting my opinion in to the matter yet still getting cold shouldered and having snarky posts thrown my way just for being a poster in a subforum of people he doesn't like/agree with.
Has nothing to do with anything except your activity level, & I am actually just speaking what at least three other people have expressed privately. But people like to soft-shoe in here, as odd as that sounds. & so we float along the sea of mediocrity. Let blame fall wherever, as long as it's on someone else. It's kind of like my admin run – I was all to happy to be a spokesperson, so I caught the flak. Nevermind if everyone silently supported the action, clearly I am awful, I should feel awful. . . for saying out loud what others only whisper. Ok.
Talore, your application for staff isn't something that has anything to do with this clan, or you & I. Why do you want to drag that up, in the context of this clan? Do I need to lay it out for everyone to see or something?
In unrelated news I'm rockin' the BC Sunshine Coast until friday, filled with arbutus trees, cool ocean air, pristine islands, and not a single **** to be given. I'm also going to be taking the ferry over the strait to eastern Vancouver Island, land of the hippies.
*noms on a delicious avocado cream cheese sandvich*
We have a "Sunshine Coast" where I live, too.
Believe me, it's not as good as it looks. Have fun though! I'm dying to get away at the moment but have no money. I just wanna go to Sydney!
I went 3-1 in Legacy last night, the best result I've ever had in said format! I was pretty stoked, I was playing The Gate and smashed face all night. I traded in a buttload of old Standard stuff I don't want anymore to get x2 Dark Confidant, hooray!
eds: Just so I can make my intentions clear, I don't want kpaca in the clan. I feel his recent actions have been in incredibly bad taste and he is acting like a jerk for no reason now. Kpaca if you don't understand why ria is mad at you maybe you need to stop smoking so much pot, just saying. I'm fine with removing Cyan too, I have no problem with him but from what I understand some **** has gone down.
See Brian, here's my issues...I truly believe that some bad stuff went down on and outside this site. I also believe that you were shafted by the airing of, what you believed to he a private coversation. I also believed that you said some things that a friend souldn't say to another friend. I think you brought a little too much admin into a friendship. It is kind of like you become your friend's boss and when you hang out onthe weekend you still kinda act like his boss outside of the office. You don't mean too, but you realize it it is too late and the damage done. You both screwed up but you have yet to acknowledge anything on your end.
That's how i feel. There's no tip toeing here. I do not care who sees, let's air this crap out.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Talkin outta turn....That's a paddlin'. Starin' at my sandals....That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe....You better believe that's a paddlin'!" --Jasper
Kpaca if you don't understand why ria is mad at you maybe you need to stop smoking so much pot, just saying.
While I may or may not agree with the rest of the post, I feel this line in particular was uncalled for. I am not green-friendly myself, but I think a fair amount of people in here are. It came across as more of an attack on the clan as a whole than as an attack on k-pain.
Charlie D--I always forget he's part of the clan, so I'm whatever.
Clock King--Fellow Pennsylvanian, if I recall correctly. Even with his poor choice in schools, he's cool
Cyan--He took care of it. I never had a personal beef with him, so once everything gets worked out with the wronged party, I hope he can come back, if the aforementioned party is cool with it, of course.
Daggertooth--Cool
Diggy--Boot due to inactivity.
jonnyjonski--cool
kpaca--I myself have no personal beef with kpaca. If a lot of people have a problem with him though, it's something that definitely needs addressed. I'd hate to lose him as a clanmate, but I'd hate to lose the clan more.
rianalnn--cool
RUBRDUX--coolish
sXe Silent Prophet--Douchebag
Talore--I've learned to live with him
The Fallen One--Boot/sometimes list due to inactivity.
votan--Sometimes list due to inactivity. He's whatever. I forgot he posted semi-recently.
Yukora--Cool
Yes, I realize calling for a boot due to inactivity is hypocritical coming from me. Bite me.
*Edit
How sad is it that with Cyan quitting, I am the third most senior member?
@Sunshine Coast – I went there, it was so trendy! I had the fear, but I also walked the sand.
@jj
I'm not interested in reconciling, if that is what you're getting at. Yeah, I was mad, yeah, I said some things in anger. The context behind that is not something I am interested in discussing, nor am I interested in getting into a debate about the incident.
Many of us have said angry **** to eachother before, but at no point has anyone seen fit to take it to the man & tried to have one of us pulled down over personal inflammation. Not since Belgareth/Butteblues/CrazyMike, anyway. I'm keeping it real, right here. If someone wants to raise an issue with my position on staff, there are many ways to do that that don't involve trying to set CI on fire.
Ria...i understand that thought. I just would like for all involved to be on the same page. It makes this decision better because everyone is on an even balance. I guess that's something that's lacking for some here. That's all.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Talkin outta turn....That's a paddlin'. Starin' at my sandals....That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe....You better believe that's a paddlin'!" --Jasper
Okay...this is really bad timing for me at the moment. I've scheduled my thesis defense for 1PM next Monday. I can't seem to get a hold of one of my committee members, a professor in Portugal, and to remove him I need the collage of graduate studies dean's signature and he's out of town till Monday morning. Another committee member discovered an error in the raw data set that makes no logical sense and I have no idea how to deal with it. Not an error on my end....but it is a big portion of my project. Plus I need to work on a lot of corrections.
In short....I'll have to catch up later...but I've been told that my general input is requested.
First it should be made clear that Ria is not acting unilaterally. He's taking a lot of heat when any anger or frustration over any of this should be spread out.
Diggy: I have no idea when he last posted. He's simply not around and I don't think he has interest in this clan so either in the "sometimes" list or removed altogether.
TFO: I don't know when he last posted either. I "think" he's a good guy, but in the X number of years he's been in this clan I actually don't know anything about him. I can't think of any details about him except that he lives in OZ. Every other clan member here I would drive hours to say hi to...but TFO, It would be like driving hours to meet a random forum goer. I vote the sometimes list because he does "sometimes" come around.
Aqua: I have no qualms with him. Kind of still in the getting to know you stage, but we have had good conversations.
Cyan: I'll not go into detail, but any animosity towards him has been generated from a bit of an issue between he and I. It's been long lasting and I've tried to keep my mouth shut about it...but I have ranted in my weaker moments. It's a big enough issue to bother the people I've told...and to be fair, I'm unhappy about the situation and I'd be mad if a friend got in this same situation as I. Despite it all, and as stupid as it may sound, I am still holding out that Nick will come through for me. I do have high hopes that things can be resolved in the near future.
Kpaca: You know, I don't really know how to approach this issue. It just feels too much like a betrayal of sorts. You see I like the guy, we talk a lot on AIM and I would definitely go out of my way to say hi to him in real life. I really want to have his back, and it seriously does seem like a betrayal if I don't. However, it really seems like there are a lot of clan members who have a problem with him. It's starting to get hard to ignore. Mostly I agree with S_P on this one.
Rianalnn: Again, he's not acting unilaterally here or coming out of the woodworks with a ****list. I'm unhappy that he bombed the bat cave, but I don't view him as controlling or taking a psudo-leader role. So I vote no to boot him.
JJ: I like him. We don't talk at all anymore, but I had lunch with him before. I suppose there was that time where I went to the Raven's stadium looking for him at the tailgate party.....jerk stood me up. :'(
Talore: Seems like a good kid....he gots to get out of that hostile environment of his.
Votan: Posts a little more often than TFO. He's a good guy and has history, but he's probably more of a "sometimes" unless we can get him to post more. Same for TFO if I hadn't said earlier.
Rubrdux: He's a good guy. Taught me how to cook eggs in the microwave and introduced me to Yoohoos.
Yukora: He needs to post more too. We really should stop letting our members become Admins cause Urzasseddatives left us, then yukora posts less, and Ria went all overload and needed an Awol break. But yeah, Yukora stays.
Charlie D: Glad he's posting again. If only I had as keen an interest in music as he does.
S_P: Been MIA ever since his account got "hacked". Should post more. I'm on good terms with him.
Daggertooth: He goes on hiatus too often.
My 2 cents.... I'll might not come back till after I defend....assuming I can pull that mess together in time. Last minute defense is a bad idea.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
***Official Rune Master and Rational Extremest of The Called***
************************From Sound to Sea**********************
And I guess that I'm a lucky one for the truth of what I know. For my heart had not denied me and I have somewhere to go. I shall never be a prisoner of steel and glass and stone. If I leave, I will return again to my Rocky Mountain home.
Meaning, the blow-by-blow spelled out so people can make informed votes?
I'm not sure a complete blow-by-blow is absolutely necessary. Reading through it seems there's a better understanding from those who need to understand than I thought.
I'm going to have to go through all this again and see where we are with it all.
I'm sorry to hear you're not willing to reconcile...I understand your position though. I know that trust is strong with you. In a virtual space your only connection with people is trust. You trust that anything you say will stay between you and them. You develop that trust and sit on it like a gift almost. When it gets crushed you see it as a betrayal and I understand that.
....
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
"Talkin outta turn....That's a paddlin'. Starin' at my sandals....That's a paddlin'. Paddlin' the school canoe....You better believe that's a paddlin'!" --Jasper
Ive been over that votan, so its not my fault if you dont follow along.
@charlied: your vote is just based on yoour distate for my personality likely, so whatevs.
@errything else: I am sorry for losing my cool instead of backing up from ria, and im sorry that my choice moving forward in anger was posting an aim convo, which is apparently tasteless. RE: the public nature of the blow up. I feel like ria took it there, and once there i wasnt afraid to be there. However, I am not sorry for calling for ria's removal. I stand by that. I still dont think ria should be admin, and thats simply the truth. I think about half the staff shouldnt be staff. I thought we were able to disagree in the called and still be called. Maybe that was once the case but clearly its not anymore. Im not now, just like i never have, going to sacrifice my honesty for social pressure. I apologize for losing my temper but stand by my opinion re: the staff.
So I've been told that my last post wasn't very clear on Kpaca. My bad as I thought my position was quite clear since several of us discussed this earlier. I have personally had positive interactions with Kpaca. However, I did not like how he used personal PM's against Ria and I agree with JJ and Dux that it was a grave betrayal of trust. I've talked to others as well and Kpaca has had issues with about a third to half the clan...including Charlie D, Votan, Dux, Ria, and I think yuks. Also he did shout out Blod every chance he got. I know that Blod came off arrogant, but it really wasn't necessary to make him feel so uncomfortable that he felt he needed to quit. In fact it seems to me that several clan members have felt put off by Kpaca, that for many he has become a destabilizing factor and many clan members have posted less and avoided the clan because of him. So I agreed with S_P when he said about Kpaca, "it's something that definitely needs addressed. I'd hate to lose him as a clanmate, but I'd hate to lose the clan more." And to me that was a vote against Kpaca. From everyone I've talked to I do feel that we are losing the clan.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
***Official Rune Master and Rational Extremest of The Called***
************************From Sound to Sea**********************
And I guess that I'm a lucky one for the truth of what I know. For my heart had not denied me and I have somewhere to go. I shall never be a prisoner of steel and glass and stone. If I leave, I will return again to my Rocky Mountain home.
Proud & strong we have stayed: Winning contests & awards when we give a damn to try, even snagged Clan of the year in 2007 and 2010. Over a full decade of competition, internet drama, & friendship. We're still here & we have chunks of fallen Clans in our stool.
There are none greater than we, the [Called].
Proud & strong. Can we say that if we force a resident member out?
Each day feels more like Shirley Jackson's The Lottery and less like reconciliation.
I can't say I'm proud of hanging with a dude who will throw your friendship away within 30 seconds because he is mad because he's been called out.
Don't misrepresent my intentions. If you want to say I "threw you under the bus", that's fine, I'll accept that. I threw you under a bus, you're damn right. Don't say I did it because "it suited me" at the time. I did it because I felt you were deserving of getting run over by that metaphorical bus at that point. I can see why you refuse to reconcile that, but at the same time perhaps you should consider why I went from being friends with you to throwing you under a bus. It takes two to tango pal, this isn't kpaca is the big bad wolf and ria was minding his own business in his house of straw, this is hanselpaca and gretlnan fighint over who is going to get eaten by the wicked witch first.
@Daggs: I've never had a problem with Yukes, can't recall one with Dux, havn't had one with Votan other than calling him out for faux clan contest participation. CharlieD seems put off by my personality so I really can't speak to an actual beef with him. Ria, yeah that's fair. Furthermore, I may be misremembering but I don't recall yelling at Blod every chance I got, that seems a gross mischaracterization. I do recall yelling at him, but only after he became insufferable. I was actually patted on the back for this by the clan. Also, your argument that people don't post because of me is ridiculous and speaks to how McCarthyian this has become. I hardly post here that much anymore, so you can hardly blame inactivity on me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dissapointed in this response from you Daggs.
Edit: And FTR, assuming by "bus" you are referring to getting fired, I still wish you had been run over by the metaphorical bus or that it will turn around and hit you (metaphorically still ofc, I wish you no ill). It is an honest statement, and I have always said the one thing you can count on is my honesty. Sorry that came to odds with the clan. If I thought this was a place I couldn't remain honest when I signed up, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place. Perhaps I ultimately misjudged the liberty with which we were able to operate as members of this clan.
That conversation was between two friends raging over site drama, & there are far more mature ways to register a complaint against the staff than passing private conversations to someone ranting in CI & out to pull down staff.
Like, of course we can be honest with eachother. Hate my role on staff? Go make a post in the inbox. Or PM the senior staff. Or if it needs to be public, make an address outlining why I am a bad admin. I know you can write a paper with an intelligent argument.
None of that is dramatic enough though.
& it did suit you. You sold out anything our friendship might have meant or anything that may have remained there when you made it a political tool.
That conversation was between two friends raging over site drama, & there are far more mature ways to register a complaint against the staff than passing private conversations to someone ranting in CI & out to pull down staff.
Like, of course we can be honest with eachother. Hate my role on staff? Go make a post in the inbox. Or PM the senior staff. Or if it needs to be public, make an address outlining why I am a bad admin. I know you can write a paper with an intelligent argument.
You're absolutely right, and I was wrong in doing that. I admit this, and legit apologize for it. Like you're right, there are better ways I could have handled myself. However, I made a move from anger, not this:
None of that is dramatic enough though.
And this is exactly the problem, you have me labeled as a troll and someone who is just seeking drama, someone who wanted drama so much that I was willing to sell you out for it. You're wrong dude. You came at me with what seemed (from my vantage point) to be the viewpoint that I was a troll and looking for drama, from the get go. This led to me getting more and more incensed with you to the point that you told me that I should, and I quote, "forget you [I] was ever friend with me (you)". Which leads me to my next spot.
& it did suit you. You sold out anything our friendship might have meant or anything that may have remained there when you made it a political tool.
I was so mad and hurt by the time I raged to kijin and gave him those aim screenshots saying "look I been trolled", I didn't think I was selling out your friendship, because frankly you had told me to pretend we had never been friends. Me giving that to Kijin came after the friendship was ended, according to you. Also FTR, I never said to Kijin "here, lets drop dox on Ria", I said "man, look, this dude has flipped his wig and now he's freaked on me".
Really man, me doing that came from anger. I was mad I felt you had labeled me a troll, mad you had ended our friendship, and mad that I felt I wasn't getting listened to. It was anger and nothing else that led me to this specifically (the bus throwing and being upset at the suicide situation I stand by as non-anger decisions), but the "dropping dox" came straight out of anger at the above list. It wasn't to just fire up another political weapon, I'm politcally sensible enough to not need that to accomplish my means.
I appreciate you at least having this dialouge with me, for whatever that's worth to you, if anything.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Official Moderator of The [Gutter]
Think the MtgStaff is just swell? Join today! You too can be involved in an 8 year grudge and delete nearly 9000 of kpaca's posts!
How am I still selling you out? What are you even having a go at now?
And I would complain about you here, but I'm being kicked out. Regardless, I wouldn't say anything in the gutter I wouldn't say to your face.
And once again, clearly I am 100% at fault and when people you thought were your friends just void that friendship rudely after calling you a drama whore, you should just be not mad at that. And dude, I may have bit your had but it was after you punched me in the face. I don't see why you can't accept how much of a douche you were to me. Like, I get it, I betrayed your trust. I "sold you out", etc. I apologized for the betrayal of trust, and frankly don't expect you to accept that. Trust is a big deal and doesn't heal over night. It takes years to build and seconds to destroy, as has been proven. And for this, I'm sorry. Like, I thought we were going to get to discuss. Instead, you are back to your name calling and hand waving of me as a troll. You know what, I've been incredibly childish multiple times throughout this entire ordeal, beginning to end. And yet, I still feel justified in telling you to grow up dude.
Consider this my official withdrawl from this clan. I'm not pleased with my own actions, but it is clear that ole buddy across the table from me would rather dance around the issue and name call instead of any sort of actual rectification. I wish you well in all your future endeavors. If anyone wants me, they know where they can find me.
You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the times.
pacs out.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Official Moderator of The [Gutter]
Think the MtgStaff is just swell? Join today! You too can be involved in an 8 year grudge and delete nearly 9000 of kpaca's posts!
Name calling? For real, you're calling *me* out for namecalling?
You got your back up nice & quick in that conversation. As if I can't type & read what you are saying at the same time; so who threw the first punch? What does that matter? It's cute when people excuse poor behavior with 'they did it first'. Way to hold yourself accountable.
I put a lot of time & effort into making this clan, this site, & this community something worthwhile. You kicked me in a pretty sweet spot, & haven't actually made any kind of visible backtrack on that, or even put forward your legitimate case as to why I am bad for the site. & in the meantime, you've invested a ton of energy continuing to tear me down.
I may be an admin here, but I'm a person first, & the effort I put into this site comes from my heart.
I'm not blaming you for anything other than making me mad and ending our friendship before I "ended our friendship" (this as a matter of accuracy), and have taken full accountability for my actions, so why are you saying I'm ducking accountability? I'm not trying to throw this on you as a "he started it" thing, I'm just merely highlighting the involvement you ignore.
I put a lot of time & effort into making this clan, this site, & this community something worthwhile. You kicked me in a pretty sweet spot, & haven't actually made any kind of visible backtrack on that, or even put forward your legitimate case as to why I am bad for the site. & in the meantime, you've invested a ton of energy continuing to tear me down.
This really seems irrelevant to you asking for my outs from the clan doesn't it? Or do you want me out because I don't think you should be admin and won't back down from that? I'm not backing down from that stance, I believe it. You're not the first admin I've thought shouldn't be an admin here, probably won't be the last either.
I may be an admin here, but I'm a person first, & the effort I put into this site comes from my heart.
Understood, and I lost sight of this surely.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Official Moderator of The [Gutter]
Think the MtgStaff is just swell? Join today! You too can be involved in an 8 year grudge and delete nearly 9000 of kpaca's posts!
I quite like tlo's idea of taking a long break until this settles down (like I wasn't on a break already =p) but I just can't stand the atmosphere of this thread right now.
*noms on a delicious avocado cream cheese sandvich*
Has nothing to do with anything except your activity level, & I am actually just speaking what at least three other people have expressed privately. But people like to soft-shoe in here, as odd as that sounds. & so we float along the sea of mediocrity. Let blame fall wherever, as long as it's on someone else. It's kind of like my admin run – I was all to happy to be a spokesperson, so I caught the flak. Nevermind if everyone silently supported the action, clearly I am awful, I should feel awful. . . for saying out loud what others only whisper. Ok.
Talore, your application for staff isn't something that has anything to do with this clan, or you & I. Why do you want to drag that up, in the context of this clan? Do I need to lay it out for everyone to see or something?
We have a "Sunshine Coast" where I live, too.
Believe me, it's not as good as it looks. Have fun though! I'm dying to get away at the moment but have no money. I just wanna go to Sydney!
I went 3-1 in Legacy last night, the best result I've ever had in said format! I was pretty stoked, I was playing The Gate and smashed face all night. I traded in a buttload of old Standard stuff I don't want anymore to get x2 Dark Confidant, hooray!
eds: Just so I can make my intentions clear, I don't want kpaca in the clan. I feel his recent actions have been in incredibly bad taste and he is acting like a jerk for no reason now. Kpaca if you don't understand why ria is mad at you maybe you need to stop smoking so much pot, just saying. I'm fine with removing Cyan too, I have no problem with him but from what I understand some **** has gone down.
That's how i feel. There's no tip toeing here. I do not care who sees, let's air this crap out.
Yo!
LOL
While I may or may not agree with the rest of the post, I feel this line in particular was uncalled for. I am not green-friendly myself, but I think a fair amount of people in here are. It came across as more of an attack on the clan as a whole than as an attack on k-pain.
Charlie D--I always forget he's part of the clan, so I'm whatever.
Clock King--Fellow Pennsylvanian, if I recall correctly. Even with his poor choice in schools, he's cool
Cyan--He took care of it. I never had a personal beef with him, so once everything gets worked out with the wronged party, I hope he can come back, if the aforementioned party is cool with it, of course.
Daggertooth--Cool
Diggy--Boot due to inactivity.
jonnyjonski--cool
kpaca--I myself have no personal beef with kpaca. If a lot of people have a problem with him though, it's something that definitely needs addressed. I'd hate to lose him as a clanmate, but I'd hate to lose the clan more.
rianalnn--cool
RUBRDUX--coolish
sXe
Silent Prophet--DouchebagTalore--I've learned to live with him
The Fallen One--Boot/sometimes list due to inactivity.
votan--
Sometimes list due to inactivity.He's whatever. I forgot he posted semi-recently.Yukora--Cool
Yes, I realize calling for a boot due to inactivity is hypocritical coming from me. Bite me.
*Edit
How sad is it that with Cyan quitting, I am the third most senior member?
Official Straight Edge Member of the Called
@jj
I'm not interested in reconciling, if that is what you're getting at. Yeah, I was mad, yeah, I said some things in anger. The context behind that is not something I am interested in discussing, nor am I interested in getting into a debate about the incident.
Many of us have said angry **** to eachother before, but at no point has anyone seen fit to take it to the man & tried to have one of us pulled down over personal inflammation. Not since Belgareth/Butteblues/CrazyMike, anyway. I'm keeping it real, right here. If someone wants to raise an issue with my position on staff, there are many ways to do that that don't involve trying to set CI on fire.
/boot:
kpaca – rianalnn, DUX, CharlieD
Diggy – sXe, jj
/sometimes
Diggy – rianalnn, DUX, Talore
kpaca – jj
/everyone should stay – Clock King, kpaca?
/hasn't voted – Dt, Yukora, votan, Diggy
I'm taking Cyan's resignation & teefo's step back at face value.
sXe, I'm not sure how to quantify your position on kpaca here, so I will leave it to you to do so at some point in the future.
In short....I'll have to catch up later...but I've been told that my general input is requested.
First it should be made clear that Ria is not acting unilaterally. He's taking a lot of heat when any anger or frustration over any of this should be spread out.
Diggy: I have no idea when he last posted. He's simply not around and I don't think he has interest in this clan so either in the "sometimes" list or removed altogether.
TFO: I don't know when he last posted either. I "think" he's a good guy, but in the X number of years he's been in this clan I actually don't know anything about him. I can't think of any details about him except that he lives in OZ. Every other clan member here I would drive hours to say hi to...but TFO, It would be like driving hours to meet a random forum goer. I vote the sometimes list because he does "sometimes" come around.
Aqua: I have no qualms with him. Kind of still in the getting to know you stage, but we have had good conversations.
Cyan: I'll not go into detail, but any animosity towards him has been generated from a bit of an issue between he and I. It's been long lasting and I've tried to keep my mouth shut about it...but I have ranted in my weaker moments. It's a big enough issue to bother the people I've told...and to be fair, I'm unhappy about the situation and I'd be mad if a friend got in this same situation as I. Despite it all, and as stupid as it may sound, I am still holding out that Nick will come through for me. I do have high hopes that things can be resolved in the near future.
Kpaca: You know, I don't really know how to approach this issue. It just feels too much like a betrayal of sorts. You see I like the guy, we talk a lot on AIM and I would definitely go out of my way to say hi to him in real life. I really want to have his back, and it seriously does seem like a betrayal if I don't. However, it really seems like there are a lot of clan members who have a problem with him. It's starting to get hard to ignore. Mostly I agree with S_P on this one.
Rianalnn: Again, he's not acting unilaterally here or coming out of the woodworks with a ****list. I'm unhappy that he bombed the bat cave, but I don't view him as controlling or taking a psudo-leader role. So I vote no to boot him.
JJ: I like him. We don't talk at all anymore, but I had lunch with him before. I suppose there was that time where I went to the Raven's stadium looking for him at the tailgate party.....jerk stood me up. :'(
Talore: Seems like a good kid....he gots to get out of that hostile environment of his.
Votan: Posts a little more often than TFO. He's a good guy and has history, but he's probably more of a "sometimes" unless we can get him to post more. Same for TFO if I hadn't said earlier.
Rubrdux: He's a good guy. Taught me how to cook eggs in the microwave and introduced me to Yoohoos.
Yukora: He needs to post more too. We really should stop letting our members become Admins cause Urzasseddatives left us, then yukora posts less, and Ria went all overload and needed an Awol break. But yeah, Yukora stays.
Charlie D: Glad he's posting again. If only I had as keen an interest in music as he does.
S_P: Been MIA ever since his account got "hacked". Should post more. I'm on good terms with him.
Daggertooth: He goes on hiatus too often.
My 2 cents.... I'll might not come back till after I defend....assuming I can pull that mess together in time. Last minute defense is a bad idea.
For my heart had not denied me and I have somewhere to go.
I shall never be a prisoner of steel and glass and stone.
If I leave, I will return again to my Rocky Mountain home.
Moderator Helpdesk
I'm not sure a complete blow-by-blow is absolutely necessary. Reading through it seems there's a better understanding from those who need to understand than I thought.
I'm going to have to go through all this again and see where we are with it all.
I'm sorry to hear you're not willing to reconcile...I understand your position though. I know that trust is strong with you. In a virtual space your only connection with people is trust. You trust that anything you say will stay between you and them. You develop that trust and sit on it like a gift almost. When it gets crushed you see it as a betrayal and I understand that.
....
@charlied: your vote is just based on yoour distate for my personality likely, so whatevs.
@errything else: I am sorry for losing my cool instead of backing up from ria, and im sorry that my choice moving forward in anger was posting an aim convo, which is apparently tasteless. RE: the public nature of the blow up. I feel like ria took it there, and once there i wasnt afraid to be there. However, I am not sorry for calling for ria's removal. I stand by that. I still dont think ria should be admin, and thats simply the truth. I think about half the staff shouldnt be staff. I thought we were able to disagree in the called and still be called. Maybe that was once the case but clearly its not anymore. Im not now, just like i never have, going to sacrifice my honesty for social pressure. I apologize for losing my temper but stand by my opinion re: the staff.
Furthermore, I am supportive of admins I feel do a good job. I'm not required to feel that way aout everyone. Honest can hurt feelings I suppose.
Edit: also pretty sure dux changed his vote ria. Just sayin.
For my heart had not denied me and I have somewhere to go.
I shall never be a prisoner of steel and glass and stone.
If I leave, I will return again to my Rocky Mountain home.
Moderator Helpdesk
Doesn't that speak to the strength of The Called? That members can mix it up and still coexist?
Proud & strong. Can we say that if we force a resident member out?
Each day feels more like Shirley Jackson's The Lottery and less like reconciliation.
I put aside my differences with jj, & with you. It doesn't make any sense to me to do that in this case.
Don't misrepresent my intentions. If you want to say I "threw you under the bus", that's fine, I'll accept that. I threw you under a bus, you're damn right. Don't say I did it because "it suited me" at the time. I did it because I felt you were deserving of getting run over by that metaphorical bus at that point. I can see why you refuse to reconcile that, but at the same time perhaps you should consider why I went from being friends with you to throwing you under a bus. It takes two to tango pal, this isn't kpaca is the big bad wolf and ria was minding his own business in his house of straw, this is hanselpaca and gretlnan fighint over who is going to get eaten by the wicked witch first.
@Daggs: I've never had a problem with Yukes, can't recall one with Dux, havn't had one with Votan other than calling him out for faux clan contest participation. CharlieD seems put off by my personality so I really can't speak to an actual beef with him. Ria, yeah that's fair. Furthermore, I may be misremembering but I don't recall yelling at Blod every chance I got, that seems a gross mischaracterization. I do recall yelling at him, but only after he became insufferable. I was actually patted on the back for this by the clan. Also, your argument that people don't post because of me is ridiculous and speaks to how McCarthyian this has become. I hardly post here that much anymore, so you can hardly blame inactivity on me. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't dissapointed in this response from you Daggs.
Edit: And FTR, assuming by "bus" you are referring to getting fired, I still wish you had been run over by the metaphorical bus or that it will turn around and hit you (metaphorically still ofc, I wish you no ill). It is an honest statement, and I have always said the one thing you can count on is my honesty. Sorry that came to odds with the clan. If I thought this was a place I couldn't remain honest when I signed up, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place. Perhaps I ultimately misjudged the liberty with which we were able to operate as members of this clan.
Like, of course we can be honest with eachother. Hate my role on staff? Go make a post in the inbox. Or PM the senior staff. Or if it needs to be public, make an address outlining why I am a bad admin. I know you can write a paper with an intelligent argument.
None of that is dramatic enough though.
& it did suit you. You sold out anything our friendship might have meant or anything that may have remained there when you made it a political tool.
And this is exactly the problem, you have me labeled as a troll and someone who is just seeking drama, someone who wanted drama so much that I was willing to sell you out for it. You're wrong dude. You came at me with what seemed (from my vantage point) to be the viewpoint that I was a troll and looking for drama, from the get go. This led to me getting more and more incensed with you to the point that you told me that I should, and I quote, "forget you [I] was ever friend with me (you)". Which leads me to my next spot.
I was so mad and hurt by the time I raged to kijin and gave him those aim screenshots saying "look I been trolled", I didn't think I was selling out your friendship, because frankly you had told me to pretend we had never been friends. Me giving that to Kijin came after the friendship was ended, according to you. Also FTR, I never said to Kijin "here, lets drop dox on Ria", I said "man, look, this dude has flipped his wig and now he's freaked on me".
Really man, me doing that came from anger. I was mad I felt you had labeled me a troll, mad you had ended our friendship, and mad that I felt I wasn't getting listened to. It was anger and nothing else that led me to this specifically (the bus throwing and being upset at the suicide situation I stand by as non-anger decisions), but the "dropping dox" came straight out of anger at the above list. It wasn't to just fire up another political weapon, I'm politcally sensible enough to not need that to accomplish my means.
I appreciate you at least having this dialouge with me, for whatever that's worth to you, if anything.
I should have left the batcave open, fair game for the next time you got real real mad?
I should be a man & shake hands, so you can bite me again?
Don't want it, no time for it.
And I would complain about you here, but I'm being kicked out. Regardless, I wouldn't say anything in the gutter I wouldn't say to your face.
And once again, clearly I am 100% at fault and when people you thought were your friends just void that friendship rudely after calling you a drama whore, you should just be not mad at that. And dude, I may have bit your had but it was after you punched me in the face. I don't see why you can't accept how much of a douche you were to me. Like, I get it, I betrayed your trust. I "sold you out", etc. I apologized for the betrayal of trust, and frankly don't expect you to accept that. Trust is a big deal and doesn't heal over night. It takes years to build and seconds to destroy, as has been proven. And for this, I'm sorry. Like, I thought we were going to get to discuss. Instead, you are back to your name calling and hand waving of me as a troll. You know what, I've been incredibly childish multiple times throughout this entire ordeal, beginning to end. And yet, I still feel justified in telling you to grow up dude.
Consider this my official withdrawl from this clan. I'm not pleased with my own actions, but it is clear that ole buddy across the table from me would rather dance around the issue and name call instead of any sort of actual rectification. I wish you well in all your future endeavors. If anyone wants me, they know where they can find me.
You can fool some people sometimes, but you can't fool all the people all the times.
pacs out.
You got your back up nice & quick in that conversation. As if I can't type & read what you are saying at the same time; so who threw the first punch? What does that matter? It's cute when people excuse poor behavior with 'they did it first'. Way to hold yourself accountable.
I put a lot of time & effort into making this clan, this site, & this community something worthwhile. You kicked me in a pretty sweet spot, & haven't actually made any kind of visible backtrack on that, or even put forward your legitimate case as to why I am bad for the site. & in the meantime, you've invested a ton of energy continuing to tear me down.
I may be an admin here, but I'm a person first, & the effort I put into this site comes from my heart.
This really seems irrelevant to you asking for my outs from the clan doesn't it? Or do you want me out because I don't think you should be admin and won't back down from that? I'm not backing down from that stance, I believe it. You're not the first admin I've thought shouldn't be an admin here, probably won't be the last either.
Understood, and I lost sight of this surely.
& that's my issue with being in a clan with you.