Yeah, i think that I'm going to go when the cast is off and if i have to jump out a window to escape the cops or some ****, i can do it without breaking my other ankle ...
Problem being, though, is i had a talk a while ago with a good friend about it, and he brought up a really good point.
Okay, so let's assume that i don't do anything when i get there. I won't, and i know it for a fact because:
A. I can take on anyone who tries to pressure me into **** (they'll be baked or wasted, and i have two steel crutches)
B. I have alot of morals that are rock solid. I can't break them, because i made a promise to myself. And people who break promises to me i beat with my crutches.
Anyway, okay. So, i don't do anything, and she does. She then gets annoyed because i won't do anything...
That's kind of what happened to me in high school. Except we both got each other to try new things, but she definitely was the extrovert who got me to come out of my shell.
Are you better off then you think you would have been? Coming out of your shell, i mean.
My advice is, you're young, just have fun. If you really don't want to do pot or drink, don't- but don't think that just because other people want you to do it, you shouldn't because then you'll be caving to peer pressure. Especially for an introvert, a few drinks can help you loosen up, speak up, and have fun when you might hold yourself back. Just ask yourself... well, why not?
Opposites attract, by the way. Just watch out. A girl like that can break your heart.
Well, it's been being broken consistantly for the last couple of years. But hey, it mends pretty freaking quickly. The problem is is that i go headfirst into stuff like this, and i don't keep any protection for myself up.
I asked myself that exact same question ... why not? And hey, it'll more than likely be fun no matter what.
And about attracting women: Try and find your opposite. Like Sibtiger said, I've known that opposites attract, and when they do, it's usually a pretty strong pull. My last girlfriend was the biggest extrovert you could be (alot like the one that i'm currently thinking about), and i had the time of my life.
Lets say she was alot of my firsts, without being the -big- first.
You'll have fun with your opposite. Just give it a little while and you'll both start to become some wierd mix of eachother. Happened to me, lol.
Are you better off then you think you would have been? Coming out of your shell, i mean.
Absolutely. I'm still an introvert at heart, but being able to let go of my self-consciousness when I need to makes life a hell of a lot more enjoyable.
Well I havent posted in the Water Cooler for a long time but I came across this thread again and I had a little experience a couple days ago that I am ill informed of as of now.
So at this place on campus where I work there is new student manager that just started. I work thursday and friday right now but she works mon, tues, and friday (i think). So the only day right now that me and her work is on friday so I dont have much time to figure out any information.
My friend works with me and said she looked like my type but since I don't know anything about her right now I just shook it off. Until after we got done working we were making coffee in the bakery and was getting trained how to run everything there. All 4 of us (me, my friend, a manager, and her) were all talking and joking around. SInce we were done, part of our job at the end requires a manager to go through all our stuff and check to make sure it's all good. So we all had to go in the freezer so she could check us and as she walked by me she looked at me and smiled and of course i smiled back.
Then in the freezer she kept looking at me and saying stuff like "God job" or "No mistakes, I'm impressed" or "you guys are awesome at this".
I talked to my friend afterwards and asked him if he saw her looking at him any and he replied "SHE WAS CHECKING ME OUT!?" (he said it surprised cause she is very pretty to say the least). So I said "No, I was just asking cause she was smiling at me and she might have been flirting in the freezer, too. But then again I'm not sure cause she may have just been being nice".
SO she might have just been being nice. And since I only see her once a week it will be hard to figure anything out. So I'm gonna talk to my friend some more and if she wasn't JUST being nice then I guess I'm gonna be working on mondays, lol.
I'm gonna use my friend as a source of information for the other 2 days (he works 5 days a week because his schedule allows it). If she was just being nice then so be it, if not, I will be working a 3rd day. I just dont really know what he would say to her... hopefully he wont make her feel uncomfortable.
Speaking of him, he has been asking a few of his friends for me to try to hook me up with some girl... which is why he told me "she looks like your type". It's kind of annoying and I never expected anything to come out of it but I guess he could help out at work when I'm not there. I would do it by myself but I only work with her once a week and that isn't much time at all. I dont know if it seems kind of odd to be using your friend to get information...
ALSO: Some person said that you can have fun without drinking. In my experiences, if your sober and a bunch of other people are drunk, they will all be annoying and will hinder your want for fun. I cant remember how many times I have been with my friends sober and I always got pissed off. If your sober something a drunk person does will most of the time be annoying. If everyone is drunk, everything is a future story to have a conversation starter... or to use as blackmail.
Or worse case scenerio, if things get too boring... I always just start up my usual 10 minute imatation of Jiminy Glick. I could have done more but I fell out of the chair... :\
Absolutely. I'm still an introvert at heart, but being able to let go of my self-consciousness when I need to makes life a hell of a lot more enjoyable.
Well, who knows. I'm going anyway ...
And to physcosickmondo, the girl said that if i didn't want her to do anything when we went she wouldn't.
I'm just worried though. I don't know if she really meant it, or will forget about it once we get there and she lets go a little.
Either way, guys ... what's your advice for trying to attract someone who's clearly out of your league?
Either way, guys ... what's your advice for trying to attract someone who's clearly out of your league?
Remember that she's not. It does you no good to put yourself down like that. "League" is something you make up yourself, it's totally subjective. Clearly she's displaying an interest in you, so don't sabotage yourself.
Either way, guys ... what's your advice for trying to attract someone who's clearly out of your league?
Hope and pray? Actually, don't bother. If you think they are out of your league, you already lost the game.
My best advice is this: if you want to hook up with someone, and for it to be meaningful, don't try too hard. Just spend time with them, or around them, or whatever. Let the chemistry figure it out. If it works, great! If not, well, then it wasn't meant to happen, and better luck next time.
Remember that she's not. It does you no good to put yourself down like that. "League" is something you make up yourself, it's totally subjective. Clearly she's displaying an interest in you, so don't sabotage yourself.
Yeah, i've had that happen before.
Although, the thing is, I have a little bit of a self esteem issue. Depressive, Anxiety problems, and self esteem. That's how i get when i'm down. And since my ex slept with another guy, it'll all been downhill, you know?
So that's what i'm really trying to overcome right at the moment. As of now it's not going too well, and i break down quite a bit during the week.
This:
The Disturbed: The kind of girl who has, to put it lightly, issues. They want to be in a relationship to validate themselves and raise their self esteem. They want a deep emotional connection and tend to have a bit of a dramatic streak (so do the partyers, but in a different way.) They can be clingy, but on the other hand, they do make you feel needed. Definitely the most emotionally draining type of girl. Unless you're ready for that, I would try to avoid if possible- this is speaking from direct experience here.
Is my usual type. Badly named, in most cases, but my time because of the emotional connection they need. Emotional has always been the bigger part to me.
Quote from bloodydoves »
Hope and pray?
Heh, already thought about that one. I'm not a real spiritual person, i've figured ...
Although, the thing is, I have a little bit of a self esteem issue. Depressive, Anxiety problems, and self esteem. That's how i get when i'm down. And since my ex slept with another guy, it'll all been downhill, you know?
So that's what i'm really trying to overcome right at the moment. As of now it's not going too well, and i break down quite a bit during the week.
This:
Is my usual type. Badly named, in most cases, but my time because of the emotional connection they need. Emotional has always been the bigger part to me.
Heh, already thought about that one. I'm not a real spiritual person, i've figured ...
First, self-esteem issues. Yeah, I'm there too. It sucks, but the best thing I've figured to do about it is to just power through it, and trust that life will be better soon enough.
Second, the ex thing. Ouch. That has to hurt still... sorry to hear it.
Third, emotional=main you. Yeah, once more, I'm there too. I try to not met my emotions run my life, but they very often do. Sometimes, I'll snap at those who didn't deserve it. My MO with the emotion thing is to just let them run their course, and then apologize afterwards. Most people who know me realize this, and so when I'm in a bad mood, they let me alone. Maybe you should give it a try. It'll drive some people away, but in the end you'll end up with friends who know you better, and respect and understand you well, and that's a happy place to be.
Fourth, the spiritual thing. I'm not overly religious either, but I do believe in a God. When I said hope and pray, I meant to trust in whatever it is that you happen to trust in. If it is a God, then great. The Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster? Cool. The Great Green Arkelseziure? Ok... but I reserve the right to call you weird.
This sort of stuff comes from within you, not from without. Women are attracted to who you are, not who you look like. And yes, they can tell the difference (just like all teenage men in colleges can smell a party three blocks away, and tell what people are drinking what drinks). In the end, just be you, whoever and whatever that might be, and your heart and mind will guide you to the woman (or man, if that's the case....) who is right for you. It's how life works.
Oh, and Priest? We ARE really similar. I'm kinda getting scared. Your name isn't Adam, is it?
Looks aren't everything. I go for personality and intelligence and other such things, and looks are a bonus to me really. It bothers me when people are like "OMG she's so hot I want to bang her without getting to know her." Or if you so please, change it to him, he's and ect.
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Looks aren't everything. I go for personality and intelligence and other such things, and looks are a bonus to me really. It bothers me when people are like "OMG she's so hot I want to bang her without getting to know her." Or if you so please, change it to him, he's and ect.
Looks are not everything however they are easily the most important thing initially.
You could go for the most feeble looking girl/ ugly looking girl/ fat looking girl. Those always seem to be the most desperate and willing to have any guy.
yeah - obviously I disagree with you, John. Spam Warning!.....Amazing - even in a forum where posts don't count, there's spam. That proves that getting rid of the post-count won't help getting rid of spam! Thans for this excellent example! - Craven
Oh, and Priest? We ARE really similar. I'm kinda getting scared. Your name isn't Adam, is it?
Heh, nah. Mine's Jedediah. Jed, to my friends.
Either way, man. Going through all the bull**** with my ex kinda puts me at a bad mood everytime i think about it. Idk why she even did it, anyway.
I got home from my surgery, and she told me she kissed the guy. A little more prying, and i find that she slept with him. Coolio, no?
*sigh* The reason i think i did it was because her and i didn't have sex. She wasn't a virgin when i met her, wasn't one when we went out, and probably wanted it. Me being me and definately wierd in my morals, i wouldn't sleep with her because it was only two months.
Meh, oh well. If she couldn't be abstinent for a couple months she's beyond my help.
And about the girl, i think i'm givin up on her. Today she talked to me and told me that i didn't love my ex, and it shouldn't have happened so soon and w/e ... kinda like a slap in the face to me.
Still, i'm in the partying mood. I'll find one sooner or later.
Either way, man. Going through all the bull**** with my ex kinda puts me at a bad mood everytime i think about it. Idk why she even did it, anyway.
I got home from my surgery, and she told me she kissed the guy. A little more prying, and i find that she slept with him. Coolio, no?
*sigh* The reason i think i did it was because her and i didn't have sex. She wasn't a virgin when i met her, wasn't one when we went out, and probably wanted it. Me being me and definately wierd in my morals, i wouldn't sleep with her because it was only two months.
Meh, oh well. If she couldn't be abstinent for a couple months she's beyond my help.
And about the girl, i think i'm givin up on her. Today she talked to me and told me that i didn't love my ex, and it shouldn't have happened so soon and w/e ... kinda like a slap in the face to me.
Still, i'm in the partying mood. I'll find one sooner or later.
Damn Prie- I mean Jed... (heh, great name). You have the worst luck of anyone I've ever met. I do really feel bad for you, what with the one running out on you, and the other being a total ***** about it.
Actually, if the girl you were asking about is insensitive enough to say to you that "you didn't love your ex enough" and **** like that, then she doesn't deserve a guy like you. (NOTE: I'm working off the assumption that you and I really are alike, in which case you are a fairly nice, quiet, and caring guy. I don't toot my own horn much, do I? :))
I am really sorry Priest. That is a real low blow, and she should be ashamed for telling that to your face. This is why my morals will let me hit a girl (as long as they hit first), just so I can deck people like that, with no respect or empathy for someone's plight. ****.
Damn Prie- I mean Jed... (heh, great name). You have the worst luck of anyone I've ever met. I do really feel bad for you, what with the one running out on you, and the other being a total ***** about it.
Yeah, well. You can only get kicked down to the ground so many times ... Lol, idk, man. When i -was- with my ex, i was really the happiest person there could be. As any of my friends, and they always saw me with a smile on my face ... and her on my arm. Everywhere i went she went. Heh, hell, we made out in front of the entire school at the Snow Ball Dance, man. Good times, good times ...
Quote from bloodydoves »
Actually, if the girl you were asking about is insensitive enough to say to you that "you didn't love your ex enough" and **** like that, then she doesn't deserve a guy like you. (NOTE: I'm working off the assumption that you and I really are alike, in which case you are a fairly nice, quiet, and caring guy. I don't toot my own horn much, do I? :))
Well, that wasn't exactly what she said. She told me that I -wasn't- in love with her and two months was too soon to know if that stong of a connection was there.
Heh, and you got it right on the head again. Nice, quiet, caring (almost to the point of mafia style devotion) ... all are what make me, lol. Empathetic as hell, too.
Quote from bloodydoves »
I am really sorry Priest. That is a real low blow, and she should be ashamed for telling that to your face. This is why my morals will let me hit a girl (as long as they hit first), just so I can deck people like that, with no respect or empathy for someone's plight. ****.
Well, i dunno if i can really go to that extent. I'll never hit a girl, even if she hits first. Just can't do it.
Well, unless they're like sasquatch and outweigh/outmuscle me by at least 50 lbs, lol. And in that case she's got alot of muscle, lol, and nothing short of a crowbar will take her down ...
Lol, in any event, really, the girl just pissed me off by saying that. I dunno if this'll just go away or what, but i can only concentrate on the positives oh so many times.
Priest, I have the deepest confidence in you that you'll find someone that's perfect for you.
I'm not going to try to go to either girl's defense, it isn't my place and what you've told us there isn't much to defend. But, at anyrate, you're going to find someone.
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Despite what anybody says, hookups don't 'just happen'. You gotta get out and do stuff. I met my gf by talking randomly to a group of girls in front of the city library.
Volcanon, you're a lucky bastard. Just thought I'd say that.
Priest, I dunno what to tell you. You've had a rough run of things, and it seems like you're pretty far down there. My only idea here is to just find something, anything, to occupy your time and mind and get your mind off of the girls for just five minutes. It'll help, I promise. Go run a marathon or something!
Oh, and as for my rule with fighting. I live by a code. I'll never EVER lay my hand on a woman unprovoked or without SEVERE cause. However, the moment they hit me with intent to harm, I'm in a fight. And I fight to win. Period. It's a rough code, but its never steered me wrong. If you live differently, that's cool. We all have our own paths in life. You've chosen yours, and me mine, and we can do no more.
Despite what anybody says, hookups don't 'just happen'. You gotta get out and do stuff. I met my gf by talking randomly to a group of girls in front of the city library.
Doesn't this mean a hookup 'just happen'ed to the girl you went up and started randomly talking to?
Nice job, there
Quote from "bloodydoves" »
Volcanon, you're a lucky bastard. Just thought I'd say that.
And so long as you keep attributing it to luck, things will never change.
Under what circumstances is it okay to ask a friend out? There's a friend of mine who I really like, but I've been friends with her for several months now and never made a move of any sort. I'm pretty sure that she hasn't actually thought of me that way at all, and as we're both part of a pretty large group of friends, something going awry could throw something off. I was thinking that I could try asking her to hang out with me individually as we usually hang out with everyone else and work my way up from there, but I've never been sure about this sort of thing.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
I've been friends with her for several months now and never made a move of any sort. I'm pretty sure that she hasn't actually thought of me that way at all...
The best piece of advice I can give you at this stage is to START SLOWLY. If she hasn't thought of you in that way at all, then the last thing you want to do is to spring your feelings on her. That'll only scare her off (in a BIG way) and make things awkward between you two (and possibly the rest of the group as well).
Your idea to hang out with her individually is a good one, as that may get her mind working in the right direction. The difficulty in this situation is timing - when is it ok to let a girl know that you like her, and when is it too soon? If you make a move too soon, you'll scare her away, so in general I recommend taking the slow path when in doubt - but you have to watch the signals yourself, sometimes it pays to jump ahead if the timing is right.
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I hate to be the bad guy, buy you've made a wrong move already. You're her friend, and it's notably difficult to get out of there if she never knew you like her.
I shoulda know.
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Thats not necessarily true but for some reason a lot of guys think that. SOme girls that our friends of mine say that the best boyfirends are the ones that are friends, first. My first girlfriend was a friend of mine for about 2 years in 8th and 9th grade. My second one was with a girl I was friends with for... ummm.... 17 months-ish.
But with those situations we got to know eachother a lot better and not necessarily hung out alone but over time we just started liking eachother more. Eventually common conversations started turning into flirting and from there it developed into some actions which start it all.
But in your case Voila!, it may take some time and you may have to take it slowly like 4way said. But make sure you realize that if it takes too long that it's not going to happen. Just talk to her more, it's always good to talk. Maybe then if you two start talking more when your in your group of friends she would be more willing sooner then later to hang out with you alone. If it comes to that point then she prolly would be interested in developping something else.
But you have to read signs, something I was never good at (I still am not). I don't think there is a uniform signal in this situation but just look for clues. Don't rush into making a move, though, cause like was said it'll prolly scare them off.
As an example: my friend last night told me one of my male managers was gonna ask that girl I talked about on page 6 (to which no one paid any attention to ) was gonna ask her if she was single (which i already know she is). After that, he is going to make me give her a flower for valentines day... and I said no because I had only talked to her once in my life and I'm just now starting to talk to her online. I'm not going to rush in out of no where and tell her I'm interested when I havent had anytime to know if I am interested or if she is. Plus, she is my manager at work=total awkwardness if I make an *** out of myself. So I wanted to take it slow. To which my friend replied "Wow, he was right, you have no game"... I yelled at him for that because regardless of if I do or not, not being stupid does not = having no game. So be smart about it and know when to make a move if a move is able to made.
But just because your friends with her, doesn't mean you are automatically unqualified to be her boy friend. For some reason a lot of guys think that. But I grew up with 4 sisters and they have had several boyfriends that were friends first. But they also had a couple loser friends that stood no chance but were interested but we're never gonna get anywhere. So it all depends on where you are compared to them. If she likes you then you might be able to develop it with some work but if she doesn't like you then she will prolly just laugh it all off. But keep in mind, they had a lot more friends become boy friends compared to the 1 or 2 friends who were losers. But I doubt you would fit into the former catagory.
Just talk and take your time, read signals, pursue alone time if you think she will be ok with it, talk even more, start sending signals of your own, read her signals, and finally either make a move if you think your reading her right or go back to being friends within a group.
When exactly is a good time to give up? Obviously, you can't just keep trying and trying for someone who will never like you, but when is a good time to cease efforts and move on?
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
Of course you can't end it too quickly because you risk the possibility of something happening. But like you said, you shouldnt waste that much time trying to develop something that wont ever happen. I can't really say a specific time to where you give up after X days. It all depends on the situation. With some girls, you may only try for a week, others months. It all depends on the girl, her signals, how interested you are in her, how much fun you have with her, good conversations, etc. If things are bad, relatively, there is not point in even trying. But like I say, if things are worth wanting, they are worth waiting. But don't wait too much, you have a lot of time left and there are plenty of fish in the see, as cliche as that is.
So how long you want to pursue the girl is up to you but you have to realize when it's over, especially when it is over before it started.
It only seems to 'work' because the nice guys who keep getting stuck in this supposed 'friends zone' are offering nothing but niceness to girls. The lesson here is if you offer only niceness, there's no point to knowing you as more than a friend.
If you wanna make a friendship more than that, you've gotta start offering more than just friendship. How you do this probably depends on you, and her, and everything.
I largely disagree with psycosickmondo, taking things slow achieves nothing. He is right you cant just suddenly spring romanticness on her, as yeah, it will scare her off if she only thinks of you as a friend. But you don't have to take things slowly either, you just need to start moving things in another direction. If things seem to be going well, make known your true feelings - that way you know when to give up, if she doesn't share those feelings.
psycosickmondo, you don't necessarily "have no game" because you didn't want to send a flower, but really that sounds like a nice simple way to gauge interest. Talking to Miss manager a bunch online is extremely unlikely to be pushing things towards more than friends, in my opinion.
I agree with the stated idea that offering a girl nothin' but nice often equates nothin' but friends.
I would disagree that taking it slow accomplishes nothing. This is truly dependent on the guy involved. If you are truly uncomfortable with rushing in, then don't. Take it slow. She'll let you know (one way or another) what she wants or needs in the relationship. It's very much a "feel your way along" sort of thing.
Problem being, though, is i had a talk a while ago with a good friend about it, and he brought up a really good point.
Okay, so let's assume that i don't do anything when i get there. I won't, and i know it for a fact because:
A. I can take on anyone who tries to pressure me into **** (they'll be baked or wasted, and i have two steel crutches)
B. I have alot of morals that are rock solid. I can't break them, because i made a promise to myself. And people who break promises to me i beat with my crutches.
Anyway, okay. So, i don't do anything, and she does. She then gets annoyed because i won't do anything...
Yeah, fun fun.
Are you better off then you think you would have been? Coming out of your shell, i mean.
Well, it's been being broken consistantly for the last couple of years. But hey, it mends pretty freaking quickly. The problem is is that i go headfirst into stuff like this, and i don't keep any protection for myself up.
I asked myself that exact same question ... why not? And hey, it'll more than likely be fun no matter what.
And about attracting women: Try and find your opposite. Like Sibtiger said, I've known that opposites attract, and when they do, it's usually a pretty strong pull. My last girlfriend was the biggest extrovert you could be (alot like the one that i'm currently thinking about), and i had the time of my life.
Lets say she was alot of my firsts, without being the -big- first.
You'll have fun with your opposite. Just give it a little while and you'll both start to become some wierd mix of eachother. Happened to me, lol.
Absolutely. I'm still an introvert at heart, but being able to let go of my self-consciousness when I need to makes life a hell of a lot more enjoyable.
So at this place on campus where I work there is new student manager that just started. I work thursday and friday right now but she works mon, tues, and friday (i think). So the only day right now that me and her work is on friday so I dont have much time to figure out any information.
My friend works with me and said she looked like my type but since I don't know anything about her right now I just shook it off. Until after we got done working we were making coffee in the bakery and was getting trained how to run everything there. All 4 of us (me, my friend, a manager, and her) were all talking and joking around. SInce we were done, part of our job at the end requires a manager to go through all our stuff and check to make sure it's all good. So we all had to go in the freezer so she could check us and as she walked by me she looked at me and smiled and of course i smiled back.
Then in the freezer she kept looking at me and saying stuff like "God job" or "No mistakes, I'm impressed" or "you guys are awesome at this".
I talked to my friend afterwards and asked him if he saw her looking at him any and he replied "SHE WAS CHECKING ME OUT!?" (he said it surprised cause she is very pretty to say the least). So I said "No, I was just asking cause she was smiling at me and she might have been flirting in the freezer, too. But then again I'm not sure cause she may have just been being nice".
SO she might have just been being nice. And since I only see her once a week it will be hard to figure anything out. So I'm gonna talk to my friend some more and if she wasn't JUST being nice then I guess I'm gonna be working on mondays, lol.
I'm gonna use my friend as a source of information for the other 2 days (he works 5 days a week because his schedule allows it). If she was just being nice then so be it, if not, I will be working a 3rd day. I just dont really know what he would say to her... hopefully he wont make her feel uncomfortable.
Speaking of him, he has been asking a few of his friends for me to try to hook me up with some girl... which is why he told me "she looks like your type". It's kind of annoying and I never expected anything to come out of it but I guess he could help out at work when I'm not there. I would do it by myself but I only work with her once a week and that isn't much time at all. I dont know if it seems kind of odd to be using your friend to get information...
ALSO: Some person said that you can have fun without drinking. In my experiences, if your sober and a bunch of other people are drunk, they will all be annoying and will hinder your want for fun. I cant remember how many times I have been with my friends sober and I always got pissed off. If your sober something a drunk person does will most of the time be annoying. If everyone is drunk, everything is a future story to have a conversation starter... or to use as blackmail.
Or worse case scenerio, if things get too boring... I always just start up my usual 10 minute imatation of Jiminy Glick. I could have done more but I fell out of the chair... :\
Thanks to Craven at Epic Graphics!
Well, who knows. I'm going anyway ...
And to physcosickmondo, the girl said that if i didn't want her to do anything when we went she wouldn't.
I'm just worried though. I don't know if she really meant it, or will forget about it once we get there and she lets go a little.
Either way, guys ... what's your advice for trying to attract someone who's clearly out of your league?
Remember that she's not. It does you no good to put yourself down like that. "League" is something you make up yourself, it's totally subjective. Clearly she's displaying an interest in you, so don't sabotage yourself.
Hope and pray? Actually, don't bother. If you think they are out of your league, you already lost the game.
My best advice is this: if you want to hook up with someone, and for it to be meaningful, don't try too hard. Just spend time with them, or around them, or whatever. Let the chemistry figure it out. If it works, great! If not, well, then it wasn't meant to happen, and better luck next time.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
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Yeah, i've had that happen before.
Although, the thing is, I have a little bit of a self esteem issue. Depressive, Anxiety problems, and self esteem. That's how i get when i'm down. And since my ex slept with another guy, it'll all been downhill, you know?
So that's what i'm really trying to overcome right at the moment. As of now it's not going too well, and i break down quite a bit during the week.
This:
Is my usual type. Badly named, in most cases, but my time because of the emotional connection they need. Emotional has always been the bigger part to me.
Heh, already thought about that one. I'm not a real spiritual person, i've figured ...
First, self-esteem issues. Yeah, I'm there too. It sucks, but the best thing I've figured to do about it is to just power through it, and trust that life will be better soon enough.
Second, the ex thing. Ouch. That has to hurt still... sorry to hear it.
Third, emotional=main you. Yeah, once more, I'm there too. I try to not met my emotions run my life, but they very often do. Sometimes, I'll snap at those who didn't deserve it. My MO with the emotion thing is to just let them run their course, and then apologize afterwards. Most people who know me realize this, and so when I'm in a bad mood, they let me alone. Maybe you should give it a try. It'll drive some people away, but in the end you'll end up with friends who know you better, and respect and understand you well, and that's a happy place to be.
Fourth, the spiritual thing. I'm not overly religious either, but I do believe in a God. When I said hope and pray, I meant to trust in whatever it is that you happen to trust in. If it is a God, then great. The Giant Flying Spaghetti Monster? Cool. The Great Green Arkelseziure? Ok... but I reserve the right to call you weird.
This sort of stuff comes from within you, not from without. Women are attracted to who you are, not who you look like. And yes, they can tell the difference (just like all teenage men in colleges can smell a party three blocks away, and tell what people are drinking what drinks). In the end, just be you, whoever and whatever that might be, and your heart and mind will guide you to the woman (or man, if that's the case....) who is right for you. It's how life works.
Oh, and Priest? We ARE really similar. I'm kinda getting scared. Your name isn't Adam, is it?
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
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Credit for my sig banner goes to my friend Raptor. <3
Looks are not everything however they are easily the most important thing initially.
You could go for the most feeble looking girl/ ugly looking girl/ fat looking girl. Those always seem to be the most desperate and willing to have any guy.
Heh, nah. Mine's Jedediah. Jed, to my friends.
Either way, man. Going through all the bull**** with my ex kinda puts me at a bad mood everytime i think about it. Idk why she even did it, anyway.
I got home from my surgery, and she told me she kissed the guy. A little more prying, and i find that she slept with him. Coolio, no?
*sigh* The reason i think i did it was because her and i didn't have sex. She wasn't a virgin when i met her, wasn't one when we went out, and probably wanted it. Me being me and definately wierd in my morals, i wouldn't sleep with her because it was only two months.
Meh, oh well. If she couldn't be abstinent for a couple months she's beyond my help.
And about the girl, i think i'm givin up on her. Today she talked to me and told me that i didn't love my ex, and it shouldn't have happened so soon and w/e ... kinda like a slap in the face to me.
Still, i'm in the partying mood. I'll find one sooner or later.
Damn Prie- I mean Jed... (heh, great name). You have the worst luck of anyone I've ever met. I do really feel bad for you, what with the one running out on you, and the other being a total ***** about it.
Actually, if the girl you were asking about is insensitive enough to say to you that "you didn't love your ex enough" and **** like that, then she doesn't deserve a guy like you. (NOTE: I'm working off the assumption that you and I really are alike, in which case you are a fairly nice, quiet, and caring guy. I don't toot my own horn much, do I? :))
I am really sorry Priest. That is a real low blow, and she should be ashamed for telling that to your face. This is why my morals will let me hit a girl (as long as they hit first), just so I can deck people like that, with no respect or empathy for someone's plight. ****.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
If you did this, tell me and I'll credit you!
Yeah, well. You can only get kicked down to the ground so many times ... Lol, idk, man. When i -was- with my ex, i was really the happiest person there could be. As any of my friends, and they always saw me with a smile on my face ... and her on my arm. Everywhere i went she went. Heh, hell, we made out in front of the entire school at the Snow Ball Dance, man. Good times, good times ...
Well, that wasn't exactly what she said. She told me that I -wasn't- in love with her and two months was too soon to know if that stong of a connection was there.
Heh, and you got it right on the head again. Nice, quiet, caring (almost to the point of mafia style devotion) ... all are what make me, lol. Empathetic as hell, too.
Well, i dunno if i can really go to that extent. I'll never hit a girl, even if she hits first. Just can't do it.
Well, unless they're like sasquatch and outweigh/outmuscle me by at least 50 lbs, lol. And in that case she's got alot of muscle, lol, and nothing short of a crowbar will take her down ...
Lol, in any event, really, the girl just pissed me off by saying that. I dunno if this'll just go away or what, but i can only concentrate on the positives oh so many times.
I'm not going to try to go to either girl's defense, it isn't my place and what you've told us there isn't much to defend. But, at anyrate, you're going to find someone.
Credit for my sig banner goes to my friend Raptor. <3
Priest, I dunno what to tell you. You've had a rough run of things, and it seems like you're pretty far down there. My only idea here is to just find something, anything, to occupy your time and mind and get your mind off of the girls for just five minutes. It'll help, I promise. Go run a marathon or something!
Oh, and as for my rule with fighting. I live by a code. I'll never EVER lay my hand on a woman unprovoked or without SEVERE cause. However, the moment they hit me with intent to harm, I'm in a fight. And I fight to win. Period. It's a rough code, but its never steered me wrong. If you live differently, that's cool. We all have our own paths in life. You've chosen yours, and me mine, and we can do no more.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
If you did this, tell me and I'll credit you!
Doesn't this mean a hookup 'just happen'ed to the girl you went up and started randomly talking to?
Nice job, there
And so long as you keep attributing it to luck, things will never change.
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
The best piece of advice I can give you at this stage is to START SLOWLY. If she hasn't thought of you in that way at all, then the last thing you want to do is to spring your feelings on her. That'll only scare her off (in a BIG way) and make things awkward between you two (and possibly the rest of the group as well).
Your idea to hang out with her individually is a good one, as that may get her mind working in the right direction. The difficulty in this situation is timing - when is it ok to let a girl know that you like her, and when is it too soon? If you make a move too soon, you'll scare her away, so in general I recommend taking the slow path when in doubt - but you have to watch the signals yourself, sometimes it pays to jump ahead if the timing is right.
I shoulda know.
B Ob Nixilis, The Fallen - EDH
R Red Deck Wins - Standard
R Burn- Legacy
RG Spiders! - Multiplayer
GW Enchantress -Casual
U/G Treshold - Casual
RGU Snake-Tongue Aggro-Control - Retired
W Old School Rebels! -Retired
But with those situations we got to know eachother a lot better and not necessarily hung out alone but over time we just started liking eachother more. Eventually common conversations started turning into flirting and from there it developed into some actions which start it all.
But in your case Voila!, it may take some time and you may have to take it slowly like 4way said. But make sure you realize that if it takes too long that it's not going to happen. Just talk to her more, it's always good to talk. Maybe then if you two start talking more when your in your group of friends she would be more willing sooner then later to hang out with you alone. If it comes to that point then she prolly would be interested in developping something else.
But you have to read signs, something I was never good at (I still am not). I don't think there is a uniform signal in this situation but just look for clues. Don't rush into making a move, though, cause like was said it'll prolly scare them off.
As an example: my friend last night told me one of my male managers was gonna ask that girl I talked about on page 6 (to which no one paid any attention to ) was gonna ask her if she was single (which i already know she is). After that, he is going to make me give her a flower for valentines day... and I said no because I had only talked to her once in my life and I'm just now starting to talk to her online. I'm not going to rush in out of no where and tell her I'm interested when I havent had anytime to know if I am interested or if she is. Plus, she is my manager at work=total awkwardness if I make an *** out of myself. So I wanted to take it slow. To which my friend replied "Wow, he was right, you have no game"... I yelled at him for that because regardless of if I do or not, not being stupid does not = having no game. So be smart about it and know when to make a move if a move is able to made.
But just because your friends with her, doesn't mean you are automatically unqualified to be her boy friend. For some reason a lot of guys think that. But I grew up with 4 sisters and they have had several boyfriends that were friends first. But they also had a couple loser friends that stood no chance but were interested but we're never gonna get anywhere. So it all depends on where you are compared to them. If she likes you then you might be able to develop it with some work but if she doesn't like you then she will prolly just laugh it all off. But keep in mind, they had a lot more friends become boy friends compared to the 1 or 2 friends who were losers. But I doubt you would fit into the former catagory.
Just talk and take your time, read signals, pursue alone time if you think she will be ok with it, talk even more, start sending signals of your own, read her signals, and finally either make a move if you think your reading her right or go back to being friends within a group.
Thanks to Craven at Epic Graphics!
About any "subpar" mechanics or cards: Context is king.
If I make a templating or grammar error, let me know.
The franchise MtG most resembles is Battlestar Galactica. Why? Its players exist in, at most, a dozen different models at any given point in time, with perhaps up to 3% variation, 5% if you're lucky.
So how long you want to pursue the girl is up to you but you have to realize when it's over, especially when it is over before it started.
Thanks to Craven at Epic Graphics!
It only seems to 'work' because the nice guys who keep getting stuck in this supposed 'friends zone' are offering nothing but niceness to girls. The lesson here is if you offer only niceness, there's no point to knowing you as more than a friend.
If you wanna make a friendship more than that, you've gotta start offering more than just friendship. How you do this probably depends on you, and her, and everything.
I largely disagree with psycosickmondo, taking things slow achieves nothing. He is right you cant just suddenly spring romanticness on her, as yeah, it will scare her off if she only thinks of you as a friend. But you don't have to take things slowly either, you just need to start moving things in another direction. If things seem to be going well, make known your true feelings - that way you know when to give up, if she doesn't share those feelings.
psycosickmondo, you don't necessarily "have no game" because you didn't want to send a flower, but really that sounds like a nice simple way to gauge interest. Talking to Miss manager a bunch online is extremely unlikely to be pushing things towards more than friends, in my opinion.
I would disagree that taking it slow accomplishes nothing. This is truly dependent on the guy involved. If you are truly uncomfortable with rushing in, then don't. Take it slow. She'll let you know (one way or another) what she wants or needs in the relationship. It's very much a "feel your way along" sort of thing.
Radha, Heir to Keld, Vorel of the Hull Clade, Kemba, Kha Regent, Vela the Night-Clad, Kozilek, Butcher of Truth, Barrin, Master Wizard, Slobad, Goblin Tinkerer, Patron of the Orochi, Oloro, Ageless Ascetic, Thraximundar, Roon of the Hidden Realm, Prossh, Skyraider of Kher, Marath, Will of the Wild, Teneb, the Harvester
If you did this, tell me and I'll credit you!