I am trying to voice a side that nobody else is mentioning. Hell, I've dated my current gf for about a year, spending time with her almost everyday, and she knows nothing about me. She knows me now. You can't keep track of everyone at all times, you don't know what he really wants, you have to assume.
The dude seems confused about how to handle this situation he's in, so my advice is to think nothing positive out of his friend and his sister. You cannot trust people.
I think the best course of action, knowing most of that last paragraph as true, is realize that this isn't your thing and short of your friend ruining her life by getting her pregnant at 16, that you just have to hope for the best, op. It's not your life to live, not your mistakes to make and not your lessons to learn. Who knows? God forbid she actually winds up in a good relationship she's happy in and gets the emotional and physical satisfaction she's looking for.
I think the best course of action, knowing most of that last paragraph as true, is realize that this isn't your thing and short of your friend ruining her life by getting her pregnant at 16, that you just have to hope for the best, op. It's not your life to live, not your mistakes to make and not your lessons to learn. Who knows? God forbid she actually winds up in a good relationship she's happy in and gets the emotional and physical satisfaction she's looking for.
no, he cares about her. why is he going to sit back and let nature take its course?
kijin I know you are a horrible human being, you know what young men will do
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Don't mind my posts, they are probably just a product of gang violence
I think that there are only two kinds of people in the world- good people, and bad people. Don't let anything get in the way of thinking your friend's a good guy.
no, he cares about her. why is he going to sit back and let nature take its course?
kijin I know you are a horrible human being, you know what young men will do
I know if I were in that situation and a girl was sending me sexually explicit text messages and allowed me the opportunity to have some formal relationship with her, sexually or otherwise, I would probably not pass on the opportunity barring some major moral/legal constraint, such as getting v&, knowing she already has a boyfriend, she is one of my close friend's ex-girlfriends and I haven't consented my friend beforehand, etc (keep in mind these are my personal standards, I'm sure many of you wouldn't ask your friend before dating his/her ex and that's your own thing), herpes or the risk of getting some other sexually transmitted disease...
And as far as human beings go, I don't trust other guys as far as I can throw them (lightweights and midgets notwithstanding), especially knowing some of my male friends' sexual histories, I wouldn't leave them alone with the girl who bags my comics at the local comic store, let alone my sister if I had one. But that's just it: it's not my job to cockblock the girl who works at the comic store or my guy friends or my sister if I had one. I can pull "nice guy" stunts like telling my virtual sister that the guy who's flirting with her has no intention of giving her a serious relationship historically, as he doesn't believe in such things or I can tell my friend that he really needs to get on his A-game and stop messing around girl's backs so he doesn't hurt the other girl, but that's it. You can say your piece, but it's not your job or decision to police what anyone else does but yourself.
It's really easy to tell by the advice being given which of the men/boys on here have actually had any experience with a woman and which are still afriad of the whole situation.
She's 16, she has already probably had sex. Just because you choose (maybe not by choice) to remain a sexually awkward 20 something does not mean that your siblings should/will.
Once you get laid I'm pretty sure it'll change your whole opinion on the subject. I am not saying it to troll but seriously you have no basis for your arguement.
So are you pretty much stating that everyone here is pretty much raise poorly next to you being raised correctly? Thats a pretty ignorant statement if I say so myself. If anything kids are raised MORE poorly now at days due to Political correct parents HIDING the facts from there kids.
Nothing of the sort. Had I listened and followed the examples set for me, I would be among the worst offenders. My upbringing was trash. Lucky I realized it and fought against it, which just got me in trouble and treated pretty poorly. Thats a completely different story than this thread is for.
I am referring to the last few posts stating "boys are scum, put him in his place and lock your sister up" or some variation. They just perpetuate stereotypes. You and Kijin are just putting words in my mouth which were never there to begin with.
I agree that alot of kids today are over protected. I promote education and support. But perpetuating a stereotype is most definitely neither.
my sister started dating my friends when they were 16-18 and she was 12. and let me tell you, if they want to do whatever with whoever, they'll do it. in fact, you getting pissy about it ultimately brings them closer. so basically... learn to live with it, and consider that the likelihood is that it won't last...
@ rwitko: dude, seriously, do you think your girl's brother is going to step to you? for reals now... don't sweat it, do your gig and let it ride.
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I'd love to see a source for your figures, seeing as how they contradict every sex survey of the last decade or so.
I'd also like to see your sources, because as we all know, kids are having sex younger and younger these days. I am not surprised that 16 would be a good average age they'd have done it by.
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I'd love to see a source for your figures, seeing as how they contradict every sex survey of the last decade or so.
16 is average for a girl losing her viginity. At least here in the US about 10 years ago. I'm not sure if the same holds true these days. I would imagine that the age be lower rather than higher. I have no proof other than personal high school experience of myself and most of my friends.
I'd also like to see your sources, because as we all know, kids are having sex younger and younger these days. I am not surprised that 16 would be a good average age they'd have done it by.
The phrase "we all know" generally means "the majority of us are making this assumption." In a good number of cases, studies contradict what most people know to be true. Just because people say kids are having sex younger and younger doesn't make it so. Some kids are, sure, but certainly not the race as a whole.
The phrase "we all know" generally means "the majority of us are making this assumption." In a good number of cases, studies contradict what most people know to be true. Just because people say kids are having sex younger and younger doesn't make it so. Some kids are, sure, but certainly not the race as a whole.
So, what's a good number of cases. I like the number 71. Is that a good number? Are you talking about 15,000 cases? Or are you talking about 35% of all cases studied? You're pretty vague there yourself.
Even if there were concrete numbers(assume 16 for this case), standard deviation pretty much says any age between 14 and 18 is highly plausible.
I wasn't talking about only this subject; I actually haven't gone out of my way to read studies about teenage sexuality. I was saying that there are a lot of instances where a study is done that disproves assumptions the majority of people have. I do, however, know that recent studies have shown that more teenagers are waiting to have sex than '70s and '80s. I can't cite them because I don't keep up on where recent sex studies have been published.
I am referring to the last few posts stating "boys are scum, put him in his place and lock your sister up" or some variation. They just perpetuate stereotypes. You and Kijin are just putting words in my mouth which were never there to begin with.
...and by putting any of my posts in the same breath as "boys are scum, put him in his place and lock your sister up" you're not putting words in my mouth? How fortunate that standards only apply one way for you!
You claimed posters in this thread were perpetuating stereotypes, then went on to say stereotypes are passed on due to improper child rearing. I took this one step further, since you implied the users in this thread were reared improperly due to perpetuation of stereotypes, saying it's not your place to claim who is and isn't raised properly. That's not putting words in your mouth, it's drawing an obvious conclusion from statements you made that have some correlation.
BUT THIS IS ALL STRAW MAN SINCE WE'RE NOT HERE TO SINGLE OUT SPECIFIC USERS AND INSTEAD HELP THE OP HERE WITH HIS CONTROL ISSUES.
From every statistic I've seen, sixteen is the modal age (the largest number of kids have sex at that age more than at other ages), not the mean. Regardless.
...and by putting any of my posts in the same breath as "boys are scum, put him in his place and lock your sister up" you're not putting words in my mouth? How fortunate that standards only apply one way for you!
You claimed posters in this thread were perpetuating stereotypes, then went on to say stereotypes are passed on due to improper child rearing. I took this one step further, since you implied the users in this thread were reared improperly due to perpetuation of stereotypes, saying it's not your place to claim who is and isn't raised properly. That's not putting words in your mouth, it's drawing an obvious conclusion from statements you made that have some correlation.
BUT THIS IS ALL STRAW MAN SINCE WE'RE NOT HERE TO SINGLE OUT SPECIFIC USERS AND INSTEAD HELP THE OP HERE WITH HIS CONTROL ISSUES.
You are the one lumping your posts in that category, I did not.
The only time I even mentioned you was when you and Sapphire Tri jumped on me for whatever reason.
When posting a logical debat it is best not to let your apparent lack of experience influence your ideas and arguements. Just because you are headed for the awkward 20s with no female contact doesn't mean the majority of people are.
My source? Go to a highschool?
Myself and pretty much 90% of my group of friends all had sex at ~16. Thats for guys; I know a ton of girls who started at 14 (Freshman girls dating Juniors). It really surprises me that some of you are this clueless.
Infraction for Flaming/Trolling. Please learn to keep it civil, everyone.
After reading my own post, I can see where some confusion stems from. With my comp dead I have been posting at home from my gf's win 98 machine, which has a horrible keyboard which has resulted in a great number of weird typos. Somehow I missed some words in the last sentence in getting impatient with having to retype every word 2-3 times.
While teenage boys tend to be more often than not blinded by hormones, so are girls. Your sister is proving that. The last few posts are just ignorance perpetuating stereotypes.
Most of the truth attached to the stereotypes are the result of the way kids are being raised,mostly being improperly educated in matters of sexual activity.
From every statistic I've seen, sixteen is the modal age (the largest number of kids have sex at that age more than at other ages), not the mean. Regardless.
Ha, that 40 year old virgin keeps ****ing everything up.
Not at all cool. Infraction for a Spam/Troll Combo
You should probably just leave your sister be, and just be alert to sudden changes in her personality that might indicate she's drinking or doing drugs, as those are unnatural. That being said, sex is entirely natural, and when humans try to get in the way of large natural forces...well, Katrina is an extreme example, but you get the picture. If you stand in the way of your sister being happy and free, it will only make her bitter, angry, and destructive.
Also, the US is ridiculous when it comes to sexual freedoms. I believe the age of consent is like...14 in Japan and not much older in many western nations (I could be wrong). But here we're just incredibly puritanical.
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My recommendation is to A) let your sister do what she want to do and B) make sure she has at least an idea of what exactly she's doing.
Translation:
If you try and stop her from doing what she's likely long since made up her mind to do, you're just going to make her do something self-destructive to spite you. Your best bet is to let her live her own life and make her own decisions. Now, what I would recommend if you're really that concerned is making sure your parents have had the safe sex discussion with her. It really should come from your parents, not you, though. If you try and play dad it's just going to put distance between you and your sister that you'll regret later.
Honestly, you should be happy she's decided to do this with a family friend rather than some random idiot jock from school. At least the family friend is likely to actually care about her as a person, not just a sex toy.
You should probably just leave your sister be, and just be alert to sudden changes in her personality that might indicate she's drinking or doing drugs, as those are unnatural. That being said, sex is entirely natural, and when humans try to get in the way of large natural forces...well, Katrina is an extreme example, but you get the picture. If you stand in the way of your sister being happy and free, it will only make her bitter, angry, and destructive.
Also, the US is ridiculous when it comes to sexual freedoms. I believe the age of consent is like...14 in Japan and not much older in many western nations (I could be wrong). But here we're just incredibly puritanical.
I'd say 14 is too young in most cases. When I was 14, I was battling in Pokemon card events, just getting into the swing of my body playing Transformers, ushering myself into the new world of high school (though I understand the age for this varies between countries), and only a year or two earlier learned that the thing between my legs could be put to more use than taking a wizz. I mean, if people ITT are arguing people don't know themselves at 20+, what's a person nearly half that age supposed to be able to say they have all figured out?
I think the best course of action, knowing most of that last paragraph as true, is realize that this isn't your thing and short of your friend ruining her life by getting her pregnant at 16, that you just have to hope for the best, op. It's not your life to live, not your mistakes to make and not your lessons to learn. Who knows? God forbid she actually winds up in a good relationship she's happy in and gets the emotional and physical satisfaction she's looking for.
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no, he cares about her. why is he going to sit back and let nature take its course?
kijin I know you are a horrible human being, you know what young men will do
I know if I were in that situation and a girl was sending me sexually explicit text messages and allowed me the opportunity to have some formal relationship with her, sexually or otherwise, I would probably not pass on the opportunity barring some major moral/legal constraint, such as getting v&, knowing she already has a boyfriend, she is one of my close friend's ex-girlfriends and I haven't consented my friend beforehand, etc (keep in mind these are my personal standards, I'm sure many of you wouldn't ask your friend before dating his/her ex and that's your own thing), herpes or the risk of getting some other sexually transmitted disease...
And as far as human beings go, I don't trust other guys as far as I can throw them (lightweights and midgets notwithstanding), especially knowing some of my male friends' sexual histories, I wouldn't leave them alone with the girl who bags my comics at the local comic store, let alone my sister if I had one. But that's just it: it's not my job to cockblock the girl who works at the comic store or my guy friends or my sister if I had one. I can pull "nice guy" stunts like telling my virtual sister that the guy who's flirting with her has no intention of giving her a serious relationship historically, as he doesn't believe in such things or I can tell my friend that he really needs to get on his A-game and stop messing around girl's backs so he doesn't hurt the other girl, but that's it. You can say your piece, but it's not your job or decision to police what anyone else does but yourself.
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She's 16, she has already probably had sex. Just because you choose (maybe not by choice) to remain a sexually awkward 20 something does not mean that your siblings should/will.
Once you get laid I'm pretty sure it'll change your whole opinion on the subject. I am not saying it to troll but seriously you have no basis for your arguement.
Nothing of the sort. Had I listened and followed the examples set for me, I would be among the worst offenders. My upbringing was trash. Lucky I realized it and fought against it, which just got me in trouble and treated pretty poorly. Thats a completely different story than this thread is for.
I am referring to the last few posts stating "boys are scum, put him in his place and lock your sister up" or some variation. They just perpetuate stereotypes. You and Kijin are just putting words in my mouth which were never there to begin with.
I agree that alot of kids today are over protected. I promote education and support. But perpetuating a stereotype is most definitely neither.
@ rwitko: dude, seriously, do you think your girl's brother is going to step to you? for reals now... don't sweat it, do your gig and let it ride.
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And if I've offended you, I'm sorry, but maybe you need to be offended. But here's my apology and one more thing...
I'd also like to see your sources, because as we all know, kids are having sex younger and younger these days. I am not surprised that 16 would be a good average age they'd have done it by.
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16 is average for a girl losing her viginity. At least here in the US about 10 years ago. I'm not sure if the same holds true these days. I would imagine that the age be lower rather than higher. I have no proof other than personal high school experience of myself and most of my friends.
The phrase "we all know" generally means "the majority of us are making this assumption." In a good number of cases, studies contradict what most people know to be true. Just because people say kids are having sex younger and younger doesn't make it so. Some kids are, sure, but certainly not the race as a whole.
So, what's a good number of cases. I like the number 71. Is that a good number? Are you talking about 15,000 cases? Or are you talking about 35% of all cases studied? You're pretty vague there yourself.
Even if there were concrete numbers(assume 16 for this case), standard deviation pretty much says any age between 14 and 18 is highly plausible.
...and by putting any of my posts in the same breath as "boys are scum, put him in his place and lock your sister up" you're not putting words in my mouth? How fortunate that standards only apply one way for you!
You claimed posters in this thread were perpetuating stereotypes, then went on to say stereotypes are passed on due to improper child rearing. I took this one step further, since you implied the users in this thread were reared improperly due to perpetuation of stereotypes, saying it's not your place to claim who is and isn't raised properly. That's not putting words in your mouth, it's drawing an obvious conclusion from statements you made that have some correlation.
BUT THIS IS ALL STRAW MAN SINCE WE'RE NOT HERE TO SINGLE OUT SPECIFIC USERS AND INSTEAD HELP THE OP HERE WITH HIS CONTROL ISSUES.
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You are the one lumping your posts in that category, I did not.
The only time I even mentioned you was when you and Sapphire Tri jumped on me for whatever reason.
When posting a logical debat it is best not to let your apparent lack of experience influence your ideas and arguements. Just because you are headed for the awkward 20s with no female contact doesn't mean the majority of people are.
My source? Go to a highschool?
Myself and pretty much 90% of my group of friends all had sex at ~16. Thats for guys; I know a ton of girls who started at 14 (Freshman girls dating Juniors). It really surprises me that some of you are this clueless.
Infraction for Flaming/Trolling. Please learn to keep it civil, everyone.
Ha, that 40 year old virgin keeps ****ing everything up.
Not at all cool. Infraction for a Spam/Troll Combo
Also, the US is ridiculous when it comes to sexual freedoms. I believe the age of consent is like...14 in Japan and not much older in many western nations (I could be wrong). But here we're just incredibly puritanical.
Not so much anymore.
Translation:
If you try and stop her from doing what she's likely long since made up her mind to do, you're just going to make her do something self-destructive to spite you. Your best bet is to let her live her own life and make her own decisions. Now, what I would recommend if you're really that concerned is making sure your parents have had the safe sex discussion with her. It really should come from your parents, not you, though. If you try and play dad it's just going to put distance between you and your sister that you'll regret later.
Honestly, you should be happy she's decided to do this with a family friend rather than some random idiot jock from school. At least the family friend is likely to actually care about her as a person, not just a sex toy.
Agreed. On both parts.
In Canada it is 14 as well.
I'm not sure why that is on topic or de-straws the strawmen.
What is on topic that it's her life, it's now or never, she ain't gunna live forever. She just wants to live her life. It's her life.
Bon Jovi can really solve the OP's problem.
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Not anymore.
16 now, I know.
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