Not all women, and most. I don't find it a simplistic view so much as a realistic one built from my past experiences.
Then I would have to call into question your experience.
It might be realistic when dealing with immature girls, but I think you'll find women a lot more varied in their personalities and behavior. Almost like guys can be varied.
And by leading someone on I don't mean outright lying so much as what I'd consider "leading on". As in I don't see a problem acting more interested in someone than you really are. It's like when a guy acts interested in a completely boring story from a girl, because he knows the repercussions of telling her that her story is bull crap.
Well no, those aren't exactly the same in terms of scope and severity. And I think you're splitting hairs on the 'it's not technically lying' front. It's dishonest any way you slice it, and this particular flavor of dishonesty can cause very real damage.
My experience is based on two different high schools and my time in college. I'm not yet 20 so I'm not exactly dealing with grown up women as the vast majority of college age woman where I am are immature. Perhaps my position will change if I and when i am. And I understand that leading someone on can cause damage, which is why I admit that I'm being selfish, because i'm recognizing that and ignoring it.
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In my opinion, you're more likely to regret not doing it than doing it. I would say most people's first times aren't very special, so you really have very little to lose.
and hey, having a bit of experience when you finally do get into a relationship is good. PLus the self-confidence boost by being able to say you're not a virgin. It really does matter.
i think it's better to wait and loseing virginity with a girlfriend you love a lot than losing it just because many boys lost it quite young (the average is 17 in france and i'm 21).
I admit: i'm quite of frustrated, and i want to lose it, but i prefer to wait the good girl (not a charmin princess) than a shot of a night after nightclub.....
Pleasure alone is good, pleasure with true feelings is far better.
Waiting for the good moment worth it, IMO.
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"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
First time sex is far more meaningful to chicks than it is to guys. I think you should go for it. Get the first one out of the way. Let a girl with experience take you in and show you how to be better. Remember that the first time is only going to take a few seconds. Remind the chick of this fact and that you'll be ready for round two in a few minutes. And make sure you go on to round two. Don't let the one shot go unanswered!
You've made up your mind that you don't want to be a virgin.....don't let feeling get in the way of that. You should have fun....you're young and this is the time. Protect yourself though......take at least 3 packs with you for the first time....because the first one is going to be quickly wasted!:teach:
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I'm a 20-year-old virgin, so most of you will likely disregard what I have to say, but I want to state my opinion anyway.
If you don't feel comfortable having sex, don't do it. I personally see nothing wrong with being a virgin, and nothing wrong with waiting. I've talked to several older guys who said they wish they had waited. They were curious and rushed into something. They enjoyed the sex, but say that it would have been just as good if they'd waited a few more months.
Now, I don't expect the first time to be "magical" or anything like that, I'm not naive, but I do want it to be special. I want to look back on the experience with fondness (even if the sex wasn't actually that great), instead of regret. And despite my experience, I can assure you if you rush into things and have sex just because your coworkers are teasing you about being a virgin, you'll regret it. Have sex when you want to have sex, when you're good and ready.
I'm also not saying you have to wait to be married, or until you've been dating a girl for a year, or anything like that. I don't think going out and shacking up with a stranger (or someone you don't know all that well, like the girl at work) is a very good idea, though. It should be someone you're actually attracted to, and have some sort of emotional connection. From what I hear, sex is alot better when there's an emotional connection, since it stops become about the act itself, and more about the meaning behind it.
Like I said, though, I'm still a virgin myself, so you can ignore my whole post if you want. Just thought I'd give a different perspective.
i agree with you two both, i want my first time:
-special, i grandly prefer to love the woman with i'm doing the first time
-having fun more than once (i guess i'm quite a "chaud lapin"
-i'll protect, don't worry
i have already bad experience, there was i was 18 and my grilfriend and I had pllaned our first time, after 3 hours of "carring" her, she said "No, i'm not ready"
i admit, i was mad, frustrated and confused...i broke with her just because that (i'm enough impulsive but i didn't want neither rape her nor hit her, so i decided to go avay and pass my rage on one of my foe....)
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"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
i agree with you two both, i want my first time:
-special, i grandly prefer to love the woman with i'm doing the first time
-having fun more than once (i guess i'm quite a "chaud lapin"
-i'll protect, don't worry
i have already bad experience, there was i was 18 and my grilfriend and I had pllaned our first time, after 3 hours of "carring" her, she said "No, i'm not ready"
i admit, i was mad, frustrated and confused...i broke with her just because that (i'm enough impulsive but i didn't want neither rape her nor hit her, so i decided to go avay and pass my rage on one of my foe....)
Why would the thoughts of ever hitting her or anything of the sort come into play here?
Why would the thoughts of ever hitting her or anything of the sort come into play here?
No, he was saying he didn't think about hitting her. However...
You're Shallow.
I have to agree with a bit. You broke up with her because she didn't sleep with you? Obviously, we don't know the full story between you two, but if you were close enough that you were considering sex, then I wouldn't think he deciding she wanted to wait a bit longer would be that detrimental.
Why would the thoughts of ever hitting her or anything of the sort come into play here?
Like, ever. Respect someone elses wishes.
You're Shallow.
I think in this moment, yes, but i manipulated her ex-boyfriend to protect her from being hurt by him. I broke cause my impulsivity, i "took care" of her during three hours! and just imagine my frustration when she said "i'm not ready, maybe later.." i didn't even think or try to force her, or rape/hurt her, i'm quite impulsive, but i'm not a scum...so to go away (i think even "run" away) and pass my frustration on her ex was a solution to me (she told me that he was brutal when he took care of her).
i can remember that when i ran i thought that:
-rape her->i'm not a criminal
-hurt her cause my anger->bad plan, plus i loved her
-ran away->why not, i must avoid to hurt her
-hurt this f..... bastard of ex->yes , cause some of his fault
so maybe i'm shallow, noone is perfect, and moreover me....i just first importance,to not hurt her.
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"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
Heh, 5 pages? I figured I'd get a couple answers and it would die.
Yeah, I think I had an epiphany the other night. Kind of a one-two punch, actually, that really has me thinking differently. No, I didn't have a specific event trigger it (Well, that's a lie...I was playing Uno over Xbox Live and I had a very interesting chat with a male and a female friend on it), but I think I understand how it all works now, more or less.
I used to think that you had to play some nearly impossible game with women, and that there was this kind of manipulation or such involved to get any non-****ty woman. But that's a complete lie. It's simple. You play it cool, let them know in one way or another that you're interested, and if they respond in kind, you're in. That's it. It's not a subtle dance you need to do so much as use the same social skills you've developed in everyday life. At the same time, I realized that whole fear of change or the unknown? Wrong. Fearing what people might think, or not doing things because you are afraid of how it might turn out? Silly.
I'm sure these two are obvious to everybody, yes, but to me it was a revelation. There is a huge difference between knowing something and really believing it, and now I believe. Sure, it will be some time before I can actually act on these, and I'm not saying I'm suddenly confident enough to go pick up girls anywhere anytime, but it's a big step.
What does this have to do with my story? I feel no need to pursue her. My hesitation in rejecting it in the first place was partly based on the idea that I might not get sex for a long time. I know now that this is silly. Sure, I may not get sex still for a while, but now with my new found knowledge, I am MUCH more likely to succeed. I don't need her, because quite frankly I can do better, and if I can act on my epiphany then I WILL do better.
On a different note, I'm trying to figure out how to make her stay away from me at work without being a dick, which may be impossible. I don't mind the spoken innuendo that much, such as her (when I ask another co-worker to grab a salad out of the cooler) saying "I'll grab something for you." Whatever, doesn't affect me. But she's stepping over boundaries now. Multiple times she has grabbed my ass. She starts humping (no, I'm not kidding) my leg and rubbing on me. Flashes me at work during business hours. As I type this, I realize how bad this sounds, but I'd like to avoid the whole "Stop or lose your job" angle if at all possible, essentially since I think she is still just joking with me, no matter how tasteless. Any way to do that other than the obvious?
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Wow, I'd say that is in the realm of sexual harassment. This girl needs to realize that no matter what she may think, her actions are anything but a joke. You need to say something to you boss. I mean, if any man did that to a woman at work he would be hit with a law-suit faster then he could blink. Sexual harassment and abuse isn't only against women.
Seconded. As you said yourself, she's crossing the line between "joking around" and plain ol' sexual harassment. I'd recommend telling your boss, but if you don't want to do that, tell her how you feel about the stuff. If she's truly ignorant enough to not realize what she's doing is wrong, maybe just having it pointed out to her is enough to make her stop. If she tries to laugh it off or make light of it, then tell the boss.
I really don't get some people's mentality (obviously, the same goes to me from them). A "girl who's worth it" is a girl who won't mind that you don't last a yoctosecond without coming during the first intimate encounter together. A "girl who matters" is someone who won't expect you to be a Master at sex since the very first time there's such an act.
Following that thought: some people are really stupid.
I really don't get some people's mentality (obviously, the same goes to me from them). A "girl who's worth it" is a girl who won't mind that you don't last a yoctosecond without coming during the first intimate encounter together. A "girl who matters" is someone who won't expect you to be a Master at sex since the very first time there's such an act.
Following that thought: some people are really stupid.
Que veux-tu dire par là?
Perso, j'ai déjà donné monavis,je préfère attendre d'aimer vraiment avant de le faire, le faire "à l'arraché" me semble assez stupide....
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"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
Perso, j'ai déjà donné monavis,je préfère attendre d'aimer vraiment avant de le faire, le faire "à l'arraché" me semble assez stupide....
English: Yeah, doing it just for the sake of doing it is one of civilization's top epic failures.
Français: Il y a des gens (stupides, mais évidamment avec de l'experience dans le sexe) que disent des conneries comme "tu devrais le faire avec des prostitutes (des femmes "faciles") avant de le faire avec quelqu'un qui t'aime parce que comme ça tu seras meilleur et elle t'aimera plus"... l'ironie c'est que "une femme qui t'aime" veut dire "une femme qui te laisse être nul la primere fois". Ne crois pas tu?
You know, Deaths Door, this may seem incredibly biased and one-sided, but... you see those people who say you should have sex? Well, most of those are the people you shouldn't rely on about wise advice. You see those who defend being the way you are with reasonable, sensible argument? Those are more likely to be mature people who know better and understand how life truly works... heed that. You seem pretty enlightened about this now.
Hmmm, le sexe n'est pas tout dans une relation...J'ai beaucoup réfléchi à ce sujet....Certes cela a une importance, mais il y a une grande différence entre ce que l'on pense, ce qu'on imagine pouvoir faire et la réalité....C'est vrai qu'en étant vierge, il y aura toujours une part de nous qui veut découvrir et c'est normal,la conséquence est l'impatience....En réalité, j'ai remarqué que je préfère que ma copine/compagne compte beaucoup, mais vraiment beaucoup plus, par exemple, lors de débats, j'aime avoir son avis (j'aime avoir beaucoup d'avis différents lors de conversations ou débats), de même j'avoue admirer les filles qui savent se défendre mentalement (résistante à la manipulation, intelligente...), et si ma copine sait se défendre en plus physiquement, alors là, je fond....
Via mes gouts j'ai donc conclu que perso, même si elle est pas trés chaude, elle a de sacrés atouts qui font que je l'aime énormément.....
Après une chose trés importante, en France, une prostituée et une fille "facile" n'ont rien à voir, la prostituée est payée pour le sexe, la fille facile aime le sexe mais cela peut être n'importe quoi: une amie délurée, une copine qui se lâche trop quand elle a bu,une qui dit facilement "oui"....cela n'a rien à voir, cela dit, en France, les filles "faciles" sont souvent trés mal vues, considérées comme des "salopes" et parfois insultées de "putes" d'ou la confusion.
Les Françaises ne le nient pas ,pour elles, le sexe est une part inévitable de la relation de couple, mais celles qui comptent vraiment sont celles qui peuvent te pardonner beaucoup ou faire énormément d'efforts/sacrifices pour toi, celles là, il faut pas les décevoir....et les garder....
@ Deaths-doors: le faire pour le faire est stupide, les Français sont unanimes: la première est souvent pas terrible, et la première fois compte beaucoup, j'ai eu pas mal de connaissances qui regrettent de l'avoir fait à l'arraché....
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"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
J'espère que tu sois en train de me démander de traduire ici, Kemono:D dans ce cas, je le fais:
Translation:
Hmmm, sex is not everything in a relationship... I've thought a lot about this subject... certainly, it is important, but there's a big difference between what one is thinking, what one considers doable, and reality... it's true that while being a virgin, there's always a part of yourself that wants to discover, and that's normal. The bad consequence is impatience... in reality, I've noticed that I prefer that my partner matters a lot to me, but even more when, for example, a discussion arises, because I'd love to see her take on things and her opinion (I like having different opinions during a discussion or a conversation). Equally, I acknowledge and admire girls who know how to mentally defend themselves (resisting manipulation, being intelligent), and if she knows how to defend herself physically... well then, I'd melt there...:rolleyes:
In matter of my tastes, I've come to the conclusion that, personally, even if she's not very horny, she may have valuable assets that would make me love her greatly.
French girls, for example, don't deny the fact that sex is an inevitable part of a relationship between couples, but those who truly matter are those who can easily forgive you or make great efforts/sacrifices for you. Those ones, you shouldn't disappoint [with your attitude, and such, I'd be guessing]... but rather keep...
@ Deaths Door: Doing it for the sake of doing it is STUPID [/emphasis], French people are unanimous about this: the first time is often not terrible, and it matters a lot. I know many peole who regret having done it in a rush...
en France, les filles "faciles" sont souvent trés mal vues, considérées comme des "salopes" et parfois insultées de "putes" d'ou la confusion.
Quelle est la différence?:D Bon, c'était exactement ça ce que je voulais dire. Seulement que 'pute' est un très gros mot, n'est-ce pas? Je sais que la véritable profession des prostitutes est legèrement mais vraimant digne, mais en parlant pas sérieusement, les mots 'prostitute', 'salope', 'pute', et 'facile' ont exactement la même signification pour moi et la majorité des gens...:p
J'espère que tu sois en train de me démander de traduire ici, Kemono:D dans ce cas, je le fais:
Translation:
Quelle est la différence?:D Bon, c'était exactement ça ce que je voulais dire. Seulement que 'pute' est un très gros mot, n'est-ce pas? Je sais que la véritable profession des prostitutes est legèrement mais vraimant digne, mais en parlant pas sérieusement, les mots 'prostitute', 'salope', 'pute', et 'facile' ont exactement la même signification pour moi et la majorité des gens...:p
La différence est à la fois simple et subtile: les "salopes" ne demandent pas d'argent et ont souvent des arrières pensées autres (manipulation....), les "putes" sont souvent insultés juste à cause de l'argent et du sexe..on peut faire un tableau pour faciliter les choses
facile est différent de pute, cela peut juste le fait qu'une fille se lache trop là dessus, alors qu'elle est sympa, belle, intelligente. Pute implique la necessité de gagner de l'argent. Salope est pire puisque la fille peut être manipulatrice.....
prostituée n'est pas une insulte. Très important.
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"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
You know, Deaths Door, this may seem incredibly biased and one-sided, but... you see those people who say you should have sex? Well, those are the people you shouldn't rely on about wise advice. You see those who defend "virginity", "chastity", or just being the way you are with reasonable, sensible argument? Those are mature people who know better and understand how life truly works... heed that. You seem pretty enlightened about this now.
You're right, that is pretty biased and one-sided. But at least you were half-right.
La différence est à la fois simple et subtile: les "salopes" ne demandent pas d'argent et ont souvent des arrières pensées autres (manipulation....), les "putes" sont souvent insultés juste à cause de l'argent et du sexe..on peut faire un tableau pour faciliter les choses
facile est différent de pute, cela peut juste le fait qu'une fille se lache trop là dessus, alors qu'elle est sympa, belle, intelligente. Pute implique la necessité de gagner de l'argent. Salope est pire puisque la fille peut être manipulatrice.....
prostituée n'est pas une insulte. Très important.
Merci pour les définitions.:) Toujours important de les savoir.
You're right, that is pretty biased and one-sided. But at least you were half-right.
Half-right is not one-sided.:) (one side is in the truth in that case) Thanks for telling me, though. Yes, that statement had anger in it... how can I make it more balanced? Taking the words in quotation marks out?
I think the right mindset about virginity is somewhere right in the middle: it's not something that needs to be guarded diligently and saved for "the one," but it's not something so trivial and meaningless that it should be given away to the first person who undoes their pants.
I remember reading a study back in high school that discovered that the part of the brain responsible for decision-making wasn't fully developed until about age 23. This is actually quite shocking, when you consider how many major life decisions many people make between the ages of 18-21: college, military, sex, marriage, having kids... I'm not saying all these decision's should be put off until 23, but I'm sure there are several people who did make those decisions at a younger age that regret it.
Only one person knows when "you" (general term) are ready to have sex, and that's you. If you want to do it now, and are willing to pick up some random chick at a bar, then that's your choice, but I'd recommend giving that some serious consideration before going through with it. If you want to swear off all sexual relations before marriage, I personally applaud you, but realize that might be a bit "extreme," and say if the opportunity comes and it feels "right," go for it.
I think the right mindset about virginity is somewhere right in the middle: it's not something that needs to be guarded diligently and saved for "the one," but it's not something so trivial and meaningless that it should be given away to the first person who undoes their pants.
Bingo. And this is why I said you were only half right, Edghyatt.
People have a habit of either romanticizing virginity or demonizing it, and I think both are wrong.
Yeah, then, I was right. The words in quotation marks made my statement feel like militant and self-righteous. There's a good reason why I like remaining "neutral" (this same reason: avoid extremism and staying in a middle point... my avatar proves it:D). I personally hold a more realistic view about virginity than "wait for the glittery person that'll save your life and be true to you forever", but when I see people saying things like "dude, like, totally go for it, you gotta ***** that ***** or else you're a ***!" (or anything that sounds remotely close to that), it makes me see almost all the truth in those who defend abstinence... and that's evidently sad.
I've dated for a long time now, and I have gone through my timed of being in relationships, being alone, and having "friends with benefits". And I'd have to say as simple as it sounds just to have a "friend" it gets lonely. At least with me. I mean, I enjoy sex and I believe it should be part of a relationship...but it should be part of relationship. So, I would personally say wait. Hell if you really would like to experience dating try one of those find-a-date services in your local area.
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When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain..." - Dave Matthews
I'm 24 and I haven't even kissed a girl, let alone did anything else.
Ha! You guys are way out of my league.
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Then I would have to call into question your experience.
It might be realistic when dealing with immature girls, but I think you'll find women a lot more varied in their personalities and behavior. Almost like guys can be varied.
Well no, those aren't exactly the same in terms of scope and severity. And I think you're splitting hairs on the 'it's not technically lying' front. It's dishonest any way you slice it, and this particular flavor of dishonesty can cause very real damage.
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and hey, having a bit of experience when you finally do get into a relationship is good. PLus the self-confidence boost by being able to say you're not a virgin. It really does matter.
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I admit: i'm quite of frustrated, and i want to lose it, but i prefer to wait the good girl (not a charmin princess) than a shot of a night after nightclub.....
Pleasure alone is good, pleasure with true feelings is far better.
Waiting for the good moment worth it, IMO.
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
You've made up your mind that you don't want to be a virgin.....don't let feeling get in the way of that. You should have fun....you're young and this is the time. Protect yourself though......take at least 3 packs with you for the first time....because the first one is going to be quickly wasted!:teach:
If you don't feel comfortable having sex, don't do it. I personally see nothing wrong with being a virgin, and nothing wrong with waiting. I've talked to several older guys who said they wish they had waited. They were curious and rushed into something. They enjoyed the sex, but say that it would have been just as good if they'd waited a few more months.
Now, I don't expect the first time to be "magical" or anything like that, I'm not naive, but I do want it to be special. I want to look back on the experience with fondness (even if the sex wasn't actually that great), instead of regret. And despite my experience, I can assure you if you rush into things and have sex just because your coworkers are teasing you about being a virgin, you'll regret it. Have sex when you want to have sex, when you're good and ready.
I'm also not saying you have to wait to be married, or until you've been dating a girl for a year, or anything like that. I don't think going out and shacking up with a stranger (or someone you don't know all that well, like the girl at work) is a very good idea, though. It should be someone you're actually attracted to, and have some sort of emotional connection. From what I hear, sex is alot better when there's an emotional connection, since it stops become about the act itself, and more about the meaning behind it.
Like I said, though, I'm still a virgin myself, so you can ignore my whole post if you want. Just thought I'd give a different perspective.
-special, i grandly prefer to love the woman with i'm doing the first time
-having fun more than once (i guess i'm quite a "chaud lapin"
-i'll protect, don't worry
i have already bad experience, there was i was 18 and my grilfriend and I had pllaned our first time, after 3 hours of "carring" her, she said "No, i'm not ready"
i admit, i was mad, frustrated and confused...i broke with her just because that (i'm enough impulsive but i didn't want neither rape her nor hit her, so i decided to go avay and pass my rage on one of my foe....)
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
Why would the thoughts of ever hitting her or anything of the sort come into play here?
Like, ever. Respect someone elses wishes.
You're Shallow.
Trade thread!
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=556274
or
http://darjarri.com
I have to agree with a bit. You broke up with her because she didn't sleep with you? Obviously, we don't know the full story between you two, but if you were close enough that you were considering sex, then I wouldn't think he deciding she wanted to wait a bit longer would be that detrimental.
I think in this moment, yes, but i manipulated her ex-boyfriend to protect her from being hurt by him. I broke cause my impulsivity, i "took care" of her during three hours! and just imagine my frustration when she said "i'm not ready, maybe later.." i didn't even think or try to force her, or rape/hurt her, i'm quite impulsive, but i'm not a scum...so to go away (i think even "run" away) and pass my frustration on her ex was a solution to me (she told me that he was brutal when he took care of her).
i can remember that when i ran i thought that:
-rape her->i'm not a criminal
-hurt her cause my anger->bad plan, plus i loved her
-ran away->why not, i must avoid to hurt her
-hurt this f..... bastard of ex->yes , cause some of his fault
so maybe i'm shallow, noone is perfect, and moreover me....i just first importance,to not hurt her.
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
Yeah, I think I had an epiphany the other night. Kind of a one-two punch, actually, that really has me thinking differently. No, I didn't have a specific event trigger it (Well, that's a lie...I was playing Uno over Xbox Live and I had a very interesting chat with a male and a female friend on it), but I think I understand how it all works now, more or less.
I used to think that you had to play some nearly impossible game with women, and that there was this kind of manipulation or such involved to get any non-****ty woman. But that's a complete lie. It's simple. You play it cool, let them know in one way or another that you're interested, and if they respond in kind, you're in. That's it. It's not a subtle dance you need to do so much as use the same social skills you've developed in everyday life. At the same time, I realized that whole fear of change or the unknown? Wrong. Fearing what people might think, or not doing things because you are afraid of how it might turn out? Silly.
I'm sure these two are obvious to everybody, yes, but to me it was a revelation. There is a huge difference between knowing something and really believing it, and now I believe. Sure, it will be some time before I can actually act on these, and I'm not saying I'm suddenly confident enough to go pick up girls anywhere anytime, but it's a big step.
What does this have to do with my story? I feel no need to pursue her. My hesitation in rejecting it in the first place was partly based on the idea that I might not get sex for a long time. I know now that this is silly. Sure, I may not get sex still for a while, but now with my new found knowledge, I am MUCH more likely to succeed. I don't need her, because quite frankly I can do better, and if I can act on my epiphany then I WILL do better.
On a different note, I'm trying to figure out how to make her stay away from me at work without being a dick, which may be impossible. I don't mind the spoken innuendo that much, such as her (when I ask another co-worker to grab a salad out of the cooler) saying "I'll grab something for you." Whatever, doesn't affect me. But she's stepping over boundaries now. Multiple times she has grabbed my ass. She starts humping (no, I'm not kidding) my leg and rubbing on me. Flashes me at work during business hours. As I type this, I realize how bad this sounds, but I'd like to avoid the whole "Stop or lose your job" angle if at all possible, essentially since I think she is still just joking with me, no matter how tasteless. Any way to do that other than the obvious?
A big thank you to Spiderboy4 at High~Light Studios for the awesome banner.
Favorite card quotes:
[card]Pinpoint Avalanche
[/card]"Some solve problems by thinking and talking. Others use rocks." --Toggo, Goblin Weaponsmith
Fodder Cannon
Step 1: Find your cousin.
Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3: Find another cousin.
Seconded. As you said yourself, she's crossing the line between "joking around" and plain ol' sexual harassment. I'd recommend telling your boss, but if you don't want to do that, tell her how you feel about the stuff. If she's truly ignorant enough to not realize what she's doing is wrong, maybe just having it pointed out to her is enough to make her stop. If she tries to laugh it off or make light of it, then tell the boss.
Following that thought: some people are really stupid.
I like 4/4s for 7.
Que veux-tu dire par là?
Perso, j'ai déjà donné monavis,je préfère attendre d'aimer vraiment avant de le faire, le faire "à l'arraché" me semble assez stupide....
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
English: Yeah, doing it just for the sake of doing it is one of civilization's top epic failures.
Français: Il y a des gens (stupides, mais évidamment avec de l'experience dans le sexe) que disent des conneries comme "tu devrais le faire avec des prostitutes (des femmes "faciles") avant de le faire avec quelqu'un qui t'aime parce que comme ça tu seras meilleur et elle t'aimera plus"... l'ironie c'est que "une femme qui t'aime" veut dire "une femme qui te laisse être nul la primere fois". Ne crois pas tu?
You know, Deaths Door, this may seem incredibly biased and one-sided, but... you see those people who say you should have sex? Well, most of those are the people you shouldn't rely on about wise advice. You see those who defend being the way you are with reasonable, sensible argument? Those are more likely to be mature people who know better and understand how life truly works... heed that. You seem pretty enlightened about this now.
I like 4/4s for 7.
Via mes gouts j'ai donc conclu que perso, même si elle est pas trés chaude, elle a de sacrés atouts qui font que je l'aime énormément.....
Après une chose trés importante, en France, une prostituée et une fille "facile" n'ont rien à voir, la prostituée est payée pour le sexe, la fille facile aime le sexe mais cela peut être n'importe quoi: une amie délurée, une copine qui se lâche trop quand elle a bu,une qui dit facilement "oui"....cela n'a rien à voir, cela dit, en France, les filles "faciles" sont souvent trés mal vues, considérées comme des "salopes" et parfois insultées de "putes" d'ou la confusion.
Les Françaises ne le nient pas ,pour elles, le sexe est une part inévitable de la relation de couple, mais celles qui comptent vraiment sont celles qui peuvent te pardonner beaucoup ou faire énormément d'efforts/sacrifices pour toi, celles là, il faut pas les décevoir....et les garder....
@ Deaths-doors: le faire pour le faire est stupide, les Français sont unanimes: la première est souvent pas terrible, et la première fois compte beaucoup, j'ai eu pas mal de connaissances qui regrettent de l'avoir fait à l'arraché....
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
Translation:
Quelle est la différence?:D Bon, c'était exactement ça ce que je voulais dire. Seulement que 'pute' est un très gros mot, n'est-ce pas? Je sais que la véritable profession des prostitutes est legèrement mais vraimant digne, mais en parlant pas sérieusement, les mots 'prostitute', 'salope', 'pute', et 'facile' ont exactement la même signification pour moi et la majorité des gens...:p
I like 4/4s for 7.
La différence est à la fois simple et subtile: les "salopes" ne demandent pas d'argent et ont souvent des arrières pensées autres (manipulation....), les "putes" sont souvent insultés juste à cause de l'argent et du sexe..on peut faire un tableau pour faciliter les choses
facile est différent de pute, cela peut juste le fait qu'une fille se lache trop là dessus, alors qu'elle est sympa, belle, intelligente. Pute implique la necessité de gagner de l'argent. Salope est pire puisque la fille peut être manipulatrice.....
prostituée n'est pas une insulte. Très important.
"If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans, and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say 'I love you' the same way I do today?" Ichimaru Gin
You're right, that is pretty biased and one-sided. But at least you were half-right.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
Merci pour les définitions.:) Toujours important de les savoir.
Half-right is not one-sided.:) (one side is in the truth in that case) Thanks for telling me, though. Yes, that statement had anger in it... how can I make it more balanced? Taking the words in quotation marks out?
I like 4/4s for 7.
I remember reading a study back in high school that discovered that the part of the brain responsible for decision-making wasn't fully developed until about age 23. This is actually quite shocking, when you consider how many major life decisions many people make between the ages of 18-21: college, military, sex, marriage, having kids... I'm not saying all these decision's should be put off until 23, but I'm sure there are several people who did make those decisions at a younger age that regret it.
Only one person knows when "you" (general term) are ready to have sex, and that's you. If you want to do it now, and are willing to pick up some random chick at a bar, then that's your choice, but I'd recommend giving that some serious consideration before going through with it. If you want to swear off all sexual relations before marriage, I personally applaud you, but realize that might be a bit "extreme," and say if the opportunity comes and it feels "right," go for it.
Bingo. And this is why I said you were only half right, Edghyatt.
People have a habit of either romanticizing virginity or demonizing it, and I think both are wrong.
Archatmos
Excellion
Fracture: Israfiel (WBR), Wujal (URG), Valedon (GUB), Amduat (BGW), Paladris (RWU)
Collision (Set Two of the Fracture Block)
Quest for the Forsaken (Set Two of the Excellion Block)
Katingal: Plane of Chains
I like 4/4s for 7.
When you dig my grave
Could you make it shallow
So that I can feel the rain..." - Dave Matthews
Ha! You guys are way out of my league.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.