Oh... eh... ha ha... yea... I'm getting married to a woman. Turns out my parents were right, and that whole "being gay" thing was just a phase. Who knew?
You're joking right? Just because you're marrying a woman and the etc you've not mentioned in this thread doesn't mean you've also stopped liking boys. I think I need a little clarification on this so pm me if you will answer my questions.
This is not really about dwarfism, but more about you as former gay: Do you think that there are people that are completely gay, or heterosexual, or do you think everybody is bisexual, and have more interest in one side or the other?
(I don't exactly know how to put it in proper english, but it is an interesting question wich I have been thinking/talking about with a lot of people)
I dunno. The whole situation has kinda rattled my beliefs in alot of things related to that stuff. So I'm gonna have to decline answering, simply because I don't yet know.
You're joking right? Just because you're marrying a woman and the etc you've not mentioned in this thread doesn't mean you've also stopped liking boys. I think I need a little clarification on this so pm me if you will answer my questions.
Well, sure I still think guys are attractive. But I'm a very manogomous man; if I commit to someone, male or female, then that's it. Now, I'm willing to admit I might look at others, but there's a good chance she'll be gawking at him too, so it's all good.
I dunno. The whole situation has kinda rattled my beliefs in alot of things related to that stuff. So I'm gonna have to decline answering, simply because I don't yet know.
On my MySpace, probably. But not here.
Well, sure I still think guys are attractive. But I'm a very manogomous man; if I commit to someone, male or female, then that's it. Now, I'm willing to admit I might look at others, but there's a good chance she'll be gawking at him too, so it's all good.
Ok. Cuz I think the statement the gay thing was just a phase is very misleading and made me lose a lot of respect for you.
Howler, I too am wondering about the whole 'gay, not gay' thing.
Clearly, from what your saying, you're probably bisexual. Did at one point you think you were 100% gay? Were you ever attracted to other women besides the one you're about to marry now? Are you relatively sure your attraction to her is not just an intellectual attraction?
I hope you don't feel this is too personal. I have a tendency to be very open myself, so I can't always judge where other people's 'privacy line' is.
Ok. Cuz I think the statement the gay thing was just a phase is very misleading and made me lose a lot of respect for you.
??????
Assuming that being gay is not a choice and is just how you're born or your nature, or whatever you'd like to call it, that doesn't mean it's that way for everybody.
Maybe for him it was just a phase. Maybe it was a psychological response. Maybe he was lost. Or maybe not.
Either way, it's his choice (or... not. Depending on how you see it.) and his affiliation has no effect on the rest of the homosexual population. Him saying that for him it was a phase, does not invalidate the arguments of everyone else.
It's like... hmmm... aha. It's like being a jerk. For some people, being a jerk is their nature. They're just rude and annoying and disrespectful all their lives. However, for some people it's just a phase that they go through in adolescence. Or they get in with the wrong crowd and they start being a jerk too. (Of course this isn't a wonderful example and I'm not for a moment suggesting gay people are jerks or it's bad or whatever. I couldn't think of a better one and this fits somewhat.)
Anyways, I find your statements very offensive, especially considering what Howler is obviously going through at this time.
Assuming that being gay is not a choice and is just how you're born or your nature, or whatever you'd like to call it, that doesn't mean it's that way for everybody.
Maybe for him it was just a phase. Maybe it was a psychological response. Maybe he was lost. Or maybe not.
Either way, it's his choice (or... not. Depending on how you see it.) and his affiliation has no effect on the rest of the homosexual population. Him saying that for him it was a phase, does not invalidate the arguments of everyone else.
It's like... hmmm... aha. It's like being a jerk. For some people, being a jerk is their nature. They're just rude and annoying and disrespectful all their lives. However, for some people it's just a phase that they go through in adolescence. Or they get in with the wrong crowd and they start being a jerk too. (Of course this isn't a wonderful example and I'm not for a moment suggesting gay people are jerks or it's bad or whatever. I couldn't think of a better one and this fits somewhat.)
Anyways, I find your statements very offensive, especially considering what Howler is obviously going through at this time.
I find it odd for him to say very adamantly one day that he's 100% gay, and with all the gusto in the world he says it's not his choice; then some day in the future he's in a situation (where maybe it's not so easy to make that distinction anymore) seemingly flippantly saying that "it's just a phase"; ergo it is a choice and he's chosen to be straight now. The way he has said it is offensive to me because he's saying it non-chalantly and casually as if his homosexuality is a joke. I know that's not what he means but that's what he's said and that's how it rings in my ears so I needed an explanation. You may be offended at what I've said but I'm not asking for your respect I'm asking him for an explanation that he can feel obliged or not to answer in this thread or in pm or not.
I'm not attacking him and I'm not saying that what he says is true for him is true for all gays. I know he's going through a hard time because this situation is very fresh and very delicate and confusing and he's doing what's in his heart and I wouldn't for an instant tell him his decisions are wrong because they're his decisions that directly impact his life and in no way impact mine.
But his words and lack of explanation of a direct turn around in his opinion on his own homosexuality based on circumstances unforseen and currently coping with did jar me.
While he will be living a "straight life" with a wife I didn't and don't believe he'd be capable of ridding himself completely or largely of the feelings that had driven him for many years of his life already. You don't just become gay over night; neither do you resolutely become straight just because you're marrying a girl. Those feelings will always be there and a part of his life. His dedication to monogamy might allow him to overlook those yearnings, and if he's truly bisexual he will be completely fine ignoring them. I know it's probably something he's thinking about. Maybe he's not even struggling with it. But I daresay his homosexuality was not a "phase" and that that offended me was the disregard of his own feelings import, if even just outwardly.
The way he has said it is offensive to me because he's saying it non-chalantly and casually as if his homosexuality is a joke.
But his words and lack of explanation of a direct turn around in his opinion on his own homosexuality based on circumstances unforseen and currently coping with did jar me.
But I daresay his homosexuality was not a "phase" and that that offended me was the disregard of his own feelings import, if even just outwardly.
1) This is an online forum. You should know by now that you can't tell whether his tone was "non-chalant" or "casual" just by some written words. And obviously hes not saying it's a joke, he's still struggling with it and with his life.
2) He owes you absolutely no explanation if he does not wish to procure one. This should not "jar" you. His choice and feeling is his own and I do not see why you're taking this so personally.
3) What the hell gives you the right to "daresay his homesexuality was not a 'phase'"???? Feel free to say your own feelings are not phases, but perhaps his were. You can't argue with that.
Ok. Cuz I think the statement the gay thing was just a phase is very misleading and made me lose a lot of respect for you.
I thought I'd added a smilie to the end of that, it was meant as a joke (which is why I started the next paragraph with "seriously though.."). Didn't mean to start such a heated debate.
Howler, I too am wondering about the whole 'gay, not gay' thing.
Clearly, from what your saying, you're probably bisexual. Did at one point you think you were 100% gay? Were you ever attracted to other women besides the one you're about to marry now? Are you relatively sure your attraction to her is not just an intellectual attraction?
I hope you don't feel this is too personal. I have a tendency to be very open myself, so I can't always judge where other people's 'privacy line' is.
Yeah, that is a bit more personal than I feel like discussing in this type of arena.
They were fair questions to ask, the whole "gay, straight, or bi" thing is just a bit hard for me to talk about right now.
Well, the only reason I asked is because I very seriously dated someone for 4-5 years, and after all that, she told me she really was 100% gay the whole time, and while at one point she did love me intellectually, she had never been physically attracted to me. The relationship was very unfair for both of us, and I would not like to see someone else get stuck in something like that.
However, your life is your own, and I am sure you have RL people to talk to about all this stuff, and you, understandably, need to work it out with yourself first.
Well, sure I still think guys are attractive. But I'm a very manogomous man; if I commit to someone, male or female, then that's it. Now, I'm willing to admit I might look at others, but there's a good chance she'll be gawking at him too, so it's all good.
Just know that monogamy does not rid one of sexuality. A straight married man is just that; a straight married man. He's still heterosexual even though he's monogamous with one woman. The same goes for the theoretical homosexual monogamous man (or bisexual too for that matter).
1) This is an online forum. You should know by now that you can't tell whether his tone was "non-chalant" or "casual" just by some written words. And obviously hes not saying it's a joke, he's still struggling with it and with his life.
2) He owes you absolutely no explanation if he does not wish to procure one. This should not "jar" you. His choice and feeling is his own and I do not see why you're taking this so personally.
3) What the hell gives you the right to "daresay his homesexuality was not a 'phase'"???? Feel free to say your own feelings are not phases, but perhaps his were. You can't argue with that.
Because unlike you I've known and been speaking with him since he joined the Gaymer's clan. While your opinion is noted it's not important to me. That is why I asked if he'd prefer to pm his response to me. What I said may seem inappropriate to you but you don't know the context of the relationship (online or otherwise) between questioner and questionee. The tone was clearly non-chalant and the smiley face at the end belied his discomfort. Whether he owes me an explanation or not I can still ask for one. It's not really for you to decide. Like I said if he wants to explain it to me (as I mentioned in my post) he can or he can not. I didn't say he had to.
You don't have the perspective I do.
So you can stop getting all defensive now
Quote from Dixie Khicks »
Just know that monogamy does not rid one of sexuality. A straight married man is just that; a straight married man. He's still heterosexual even though he's monogamous with one woman. The same goes for the theoretical homosexual monogamous man (or bisexual too for that matter).
This is basically the crux of the matter that I was getting at.
You're joking right? Just because you're marrying a woman and the etc you've not mentioned in this thread doesn't mean you've also stopped liking boys. I think I need a little clarification on this so pm me if you will answer my questions.
I dunno. The whole situation has kinda rattled my beliefs in alot of things related to that stuff. So I'm gonna have to decline answering, simply because I don't yet know.
On my MySpace, probably. But not here.
Well, sure I still think guys are attractive. But I'm a very manogomous man; if I commit to someone, male or female, then that's it. Now, I'm willing to admit I might look at others, but there's a good chance she'll be gawking at him too, so it's all good.
Ok. Cuz I think the statement the gay thing was just a phase is very misleading and made me lose a lot of respect for you.
Clearly, from what your saying, you're probably bisexual. Did at one point you think you were 100% gay? Were you ever attracted to other women besides the one you're about to marry now? Are you relatively sure your attraction to her is not just an intellectual attraction?
I hope you don't feel this is too personal. I have a tendency to be very open myself, so I can't always judge where other people's 'privacy line' is.
Makes sense. No one is questing that you do have a fiancé, and I guess it would be pretty stupid to post things here anyway.
??????
Assuming that being gay is not a choice and is just how you're born or your nature, or whatever you'd like to call it, that doesn't mean it's that way for everybody.
Maybe for him it was just a phase. Maybe it was a psychological response. Maybe he was lost. Or maybe not.
Either way, it's his choice (or... not. Depending on how you see it.) and his affiliation has no effect on the rest of the homosexual population. Him saying that for him it was a phase, does not invalidate the arguments of everyone else.
It's like... hmmm... aha. It's like being a jerk. For some people, being a jerk is their nature. They're just rude and annoying and disrespectful all their lives. However, for some people it's just a phase that they go through in adolescence. Or they get in with the wrong crowd and they start being a jerk too. (Of course this isn't a wonderful example and I'm not for a moment suggesting gay people are jerks or it's bad or whatever. I couldn't think of a better one and this fits somewhat.)
Anyways, I find your statements very offensive, especially considering what Howler is obviously going through at this time.
I find it odd for him to say very adamantly one day that he's 100% gay, and with all the gusto in the world he says it's not his choice; then some day in the future he's in a situation (where maybe it's not so easy to make that distinction anymore) seemingly flippantly saying that "it's just a phase"; ergo it is a choice and he's chosen to be straight now. The way he has said it is offensive to me because he's saying it non-chalantly and casually as if his homosexuality is a joke. I know that's not what he means but that's what he's said and that's how it rings in my ears so I needed an explanation. You may be offended at what I've said but I'm not asking for your respect I'm asking him for an explanation that he can feel obliged or not to answer in this thread or in pm or not.
I'm not attacking him and I'm not saying that what he says is true for him is true for all gays. I know he's going through a hard time because this situation is very fresh and very delicate and confusing and he's doing what's in his heart and I wouldn't for an instant tell him his decisions are wrong because they're his decisions that directly impact his life and in no way impact mine.
But his words and lack of explanation of a direct turn around in his opinion on his own homosexuality based on circumstances unforseen and currently coping with did jar me.
While he will be living a "straight life" with a wife I didn't and don't believe he'd be capable of ridding himself completely or largely of the feelings that had driven him for many years of his life already. You don't just become gay over night; neither do you resolutely become straight just because you're marrying a girl. Those feelings will always be there and a part of his life. His dedication to monogamy might allow him to overlook those yearnings, and if he's truly bisexual he will be completely fine ignoring them. I know it's probably something he's thinking about. Maybe he's not even struggling with it. But I daresay his homosexuality was not a "phase" and that that offended me was the disregard of his own feelings import, if even just outwardly.
1) This is an online forum. You should know by now that you can't tell whether his tone was "non-chalant" or "casual" just by some written words. And obviously hes not saying it's a joke, he's still struggling with it and with his life.
2) He owes you absolutely no explanation if he does not wish to procure one. This should not "jar" you. His choice and feeling is his own and I do not see why you're taking this so personally.
3) What the hell gives you the right to "daresay his homesexuality was not a 'phase'"???? Feel free to say your own feelings are not phases, but perhaps his were. You can't argue with that.
I thought I'd added a smilie to the end of that, it was meant as a joke (which is why I started the next paragraph with "seriously though.."). Didn't mean to start such a heated debate.
Yeah, that is a bit more personal than I feel like discussing in this type of arena.
Understandable, consider those questions withdrawn then.
Well, the only reason I asked is because I very seriously dated someone for 4-5 years, and after all that, she told me she really was 100% gay the whole time, and while at one point she did love me intellectually, she had never been physically attracted to me. The relationship was very unfair for both of us, and I would not like to see someone else get stuck in something like that.
However, your life is your own, and I am sure you have RL people to talk to about all this stuff, and you, understandably, need to work it out with yourself first.
Just know that monogamy does not rid one of sexuality. A straight married man is just that; a straight married man. He's still heterosexual even though he's monogamous with one woman. The same goes for the theoretical homosexual monogamous man (or bisexual too for that matter).
Thanks to the [Æther] shop for the sig!
Because unlike you I've known and been speaking with him since he joined the Gaymer's clan. While your opinion is noted it's not important to me. That is why I asked if he'd prefer to pm his response to me. What I said may seem inappropriate to you but you don't know the context of the relationship (online or otherwise) between questioner and questionee. The tone was clearly non-chalant and the smiley face at the end belied his discomfort. Whether he owes me an explanation or not I can still ask for one. It's not really for you to decide. Like I said if he wants to explain it to me (as I mentioned in my post) he can or he can not. I didn't say he had to.
You don't have the perspective I do.
So you can stop getting all defensive now
This is basically the crux of the matter that I was getting at.