2. About the deaths, while there aren't any true statistics to show increased mortality, that is due to the fact that nearly all studies are done on patients who ceased use within a short time (years vs. decades) and typically also smoked tobacco. However, it's smoke contains nearly four times as much tar and 50 percent more carcinogens than tobacco (see Wu, TC, Tashkin, DP, Djahed, B, Rose, JE. Pulmonary hazards of smoking marijuana as compared with tobacco. N Engl J Med 1988; 318:347.) Further, there is a definitive link between weed and COPD (which eventually leads to right-sided heart feailure and subsequently death). I, like many medical professionals, don't agree with the idea that psych issues arise from its use and instead those who are more predisposed to psych problems are more likely to use. There is also a definitive link between motor vehicle accidents and weed, hence many of these deaths are directly attributable top its use. Finally, for the guys, it leads to decreased testosterone which can cause decreased libido, impotence, infertility, and gynecomastia (man-boobs in layman's).
On the basis of legality, the law is what it is. Personally, I say legalize, regulate, and tax the hell out of it like we do with tobacco and EtOH, if for no other reason than to decrease my tax burden by its influx. This is all coming from someone who previously smoked quite heavily in my youth (quit in college) and is about to receive his MD. On the note of those references, those are but a drop in the bucket of many peer-reviewed studies of significant repute.
These are great reasons I will use in our discussion. Im sure he won't even have things to say about some of these things other than where did you get your information from.
Try to talk to him calmly, although that has roughly a 0% chance of success. You do need to make sure he knows that you want him to stop, and that you are willing to take action not because of hate or spite, but because you are honestly concerned about him. Show him the studies that were linked above if you think it would help.
It all comes down to one thing: if you want a person to stop doing something, you need to show them that there will be consequences (even if you have to make them yourself). It isn't nice, and it isn't fair, but if this is really a change you feel needs to be made, you need to stick with it.
The sad truth of human nature is that we tend not to admit our actions have consequences until we experience them for ourselves. A pornography addiction isn't going to ruin your marriage until it ruins your marriage. Drinking and driving is fine until you hit that kid crossing the street. Your pot habit isn't going to get you fired until you fail a drug test. And so on.
It might not be worth it.
Honestly I want him to stop for legal reasons and health reasons. He is my only brother and losing him to either one of these reasons, I'll always feel regret for not helping him. He seems to have his life in control and all but it can all be for nothing as soon as he gets caught or gets sick. He has devolved a Deep Thigh Thrombosis and takes the medicine Warfaryne as a blood thinner. I don't know if it has any connection to him smoking marijuana or if maybe he just believes it would help with his health problems.
I think I have an idea of how i want to approach him with this. I will not be another nagger by telling him to just stop because I disapprove, but I will calmly say I am genuinely concerned for his well being and go from there. He is an understanding person who I know will be glad to debate with me about marijuana when I ask him. Even if he does not quit entirely (which he probably won't) I will be happy that he at least knows that I know about his 'problem' and am willing to do whatever it takes to help him out.
Thanks again to all who responded.
Not to change the subject here at all, since I like this thread (epic lulz are within it), but I think a part of the problem is there's such a vast cultural difference in the way pot is handled. I'm from Canada, and I can honestly say that i've never everever been concerned about it's legality, mostly because it's something that everyone does, or knows someone who does. Hell, I've smoked with cops before! The vast majority of Canadians have the same viewpoint of weed as they do about having a glass of brandy after a long day at work. That's the severity of it over here. It seems a lot of the Canadians posting here feel the same way as well.
Listen, my parent's had the "drug talk" with me as a youth, and I still smoke. I smoke at least five times a week, and my parent's know about it, as do my siblings, girlfriend, girlfriend's parents, my grandparents, etc. Everyone knows about it, and I don't hide it from anyone. You want to know why nobody is "worried"about me like the OP is about his brother? Because they recognize that it's not ****ing up my life, and are happy that i've found something that "works" for me, regardless of it being of questionable orgins.
I'm not going to dabble into religion, since, well, I find it stupid. All I can say is that the bible is vague for a reason, and that reason is for personal interpretation. You see the bible as stating weed is bad, your brother might see the verse about God saying it's ok to consume all of the plants of the earth more relevent. Saying he's wrong and you're right is what causes most of these wars and bad **** going on in the world right now, just remember that.
I find people that talk about it killing and being a gateway drug and how addictive it is, well, comical. it's about as funny as that time I saw Dr. Phil when he had that "intervention" on the girl smoking pot. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but it does amuse me to no end because of how out of touch these comments really are. Nobody is addicted to weed, either chemically or psychologically. It's like they say in Half Baked: nobody's ever sucked dick for weed. If you have it, great, if you don't oh well. As a former cigarette smoker, I can tell you there's a big difference between NEEDING a smoke and WANTING a joint. And nobody is addicted to the feeling of being high. Feels good, man, but so does eating candy. Or having sex. Or nailing a sweet guitar solo. Feeling good isn't an addiction.
The only thing weed is a gateway for is the munchies. All my firends smoke, but I can't name a single one that has tried heroin, crack, LSD, etc. In fact, i'd counter the logic of it being a gateway drug by saying that I feel most potheads are LESS likely to try other drugs because weed is so effective. Why pay more money for stuff that WILL harm you, when you can just smoke a dime and chill? Doesn't make any sense.
To the OP: I personally think you are out of line and worrying over nothing, but like I originally stated up here in Canada it's not as big of a deal as it seems to be where you're from, so I will reserve judgement. What I will say is that you shouldn't be trying to "reach out" to someone that obviously isn't reaching back. He's a smart guy, right? going to school for MBs and BAs and whatnot. I'd think he'd be smart enough to come to his family if he was having a problem. The best thing you can do is let him know that it does bother you,and if this really does bother you as much as you're implying it does, just be prepared to deal with the consequences of whatever action you decide to take (calling the cops, cutting him out of your life, telling his fiance, etc). You might just find that a little pot isn't as bad as not having a brother.
I find people that talk about it killing and being a gateway drug and how addictive it is, well, comical. it's about as funny as that time I saw Dr. Phil when he had that "intervention" on the girl smoking pot. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but it does amuse me to no end because of how out of touch these comments really are. Nobody is addicted to weed, either chemically or psychologically. It's like they say in Half Baked: nobody's ever sucked dick for weed. If you have it, great, if you don't oh well. As a former cigarette smoker, I can tell you there's a big difference between NEEDING a smoke and WANTING a joint. And nobody is addicted to the feeling of being high. Feels good, man, but so does eating candy. Orhaving sex. Or nailing a sweet guitar solo. Feeling good isn't an addiction.
Do you understand what a psychological addiction is?
There are certain eating disorders to check into as well.
Out of touch? I smoked pot for years, and I developed a psychological addiction to it. I've seen others develop an addiction to it in the same way. I've also seen individuals handle it perfectly. It's just like a gambling addiction; some people can handle it casually, others aren't so lucky.
As far as sounding like a dick? Not really, but you do sound...
Try to talk to him calmly, although that has roughly a 0% chance of success. You do need to make sure he knows that you want him to stop, and that you are willing to take action not because of hate or spite, but because you are honestly concerned about him. Show him the studies that were linked above if you think it would help.
When being calm doesn't work, you can escalate a little. Throw out his stash (since it isn't his house he can't object to random searches). If that doesn't work, talk to his fiance about it. Talk to his boss at his internship (I can't imagine they'd be thrilled to hear about it). Never help him fake a drug test. If it ultimately comes to it, consider getting the police involved (although, as stated, they really have better things to do with their time as long as he's not dealing; if you know who his dealer is, you could possibly get the police involved there).
It all comes down to one thing: if you want a person to stop doing something, you need to show them that there will be consequences (even if you have to make them yourself). It isn't nice, and it isn't fair, but if this is really a change you feel needs to be made, you need to stick with it.
That doesn't seem excessive to you? I mean tossing his stash is fairly diskish to begin with but causing trouble for his relationship or his work? Just because you don't like that he smokes pot even if it doesn't appear to be having a strong negative effect on his life? Forcing his brother to change at the barrel of a gun just to suit Hamid's ideals is not the answer.
And to address the concerns raised about this thread and going against the forum rules about discussion of illegal activity, I don't feel that this discussion crosses that line. The forums involve talk of illegal acts rather often, the trick is context. Discussion of the merits and debates concerning drug use is different than discussing the best ways to grow weed plants or how to smuggle cocaine across the border. Just like acknowledging that internet piracy exists and discussing that fact is different than linking users to a torrent site. Or like how we discuss things like murder, rape, abuse, stealing, fraud, etc in WCT and Debate without actually contributing to those problems. There's a difference between keeping discussions appropriate for the forum and stifling a subject altogether. I think, in that vein, it's not against the spirit of the rules to allow people to say that they aren't against the use of drugs.
You might just find that a little pot isn't as bad as not having a brother.
THIS = THREAD WINNER
Man, I went through that. I just got back in touch with him this year after 11 years of not having him in my life. Don't paint yourself into a corner...
Also, about the blood thinners he is on, IIRC, THC is a blood thinner. Tattoo shops say not to smoke any or drink before getting a tat.
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That doesn't seem excessive to you? I mean tossing his stash is fairly diskish to begin with but causing trouble for his relationship or his work? Just because you don't like that he smokes pot even if it doesn't appear to be having a strong negative effect on his life? Forcing his brother to change at the barrel of a gun just to suit Hamid's ideals is not the answer.
My previous post was formed based on the thread being about "how should I get my brother to stop smoking pot" rather than "should I stop my brother from smoking pot". The first is based on the assumption that the answer to the second is "yes".
Saying that he shouldn't try to stop his brother is like going to a thread asking "how should I ask this girl out" and saying "you shouldn't, love never ends well". It's sorta on topic, but it really isn't all that useful to the topic creator.
I merely stated different methods that could be used in order to reach that goal. If this topic was created as a discussion on whether or not weed should be legalized or if it is morally wrong, I most certainly would not have posted, because I don't feel strongly enough about the topic to contribute meaningfully.
Also, I'm not sure that there really is anything wrong about talking to the fiance or employer about it - indeed, when they find out by themselves later, it will only be harder on him (possibly losing his family or career). Breaking an addiction is much easier to do at 26 than at 46. I've never met a person who is honestly happy with their addiction to anything.
Would I do everything I suggested if I were in the same position? Probably not. I also wouldn't call anything I suggested forcing him to change at gunpoint, either. If his brother really doesn't think that there is anything wrong with smoking pot, why should he hide it from his employer/fiance?
I personally believe that we should be willing to face the consequences that would occur if all of our actions were made public knowledge. I don't think I would ever hold anybody to that kind of standard, but if someone were to tell all of my secrets, I would have no right to be angry at anybody but myself.
There are certain eating disorders to check into as well.
Out of touch? I smoked pot for years, and I developed a psychological addiction to it. I've seen others develop an addiction to it in the same way. I've also seen individuals handle it perfectly. It's just like a gambling addiction; some people can handle it casually, others aren't so lucky.
As far as sounding like a dick? Not really, but you do sound...
inexperienced.
Thank you for pointing me to this article, as I was unaware that there was such a thing as sexual addiction and food addiction, or even that one could become addicted to gambling. This has really opened a lot of doors for me and shined a new light on the subject.
Sarcasm aside, I never really bought into any of these as actual addictions. To me, it feels like how doctors are always coming up with new ways to diagnose people with different diseases so they'll have to come up with new drugs to pay for, and keep the cycle going. Sure, I can see the merit in gambling addiction, as my father's tore my family apart. And I can understand eating disorders as well, but I really think there are more underlying problems with these people then the amount of sex they're having, or how much they are/are not eating.
I personally think people who become "psychologically addicted" to things with no actual addictive properties just generally weak, or lacking in willpower, which probably has more to do with self-esteem then it does with whatever they claim to be addicted to. Sure, all addictions are serious, and i'm sorry if you were addicted to weed, but if we're talking about an smart guy in his mid 20's smoking a joint every now and then, and people wondering how to save him from this downward spiral of destruction. it just doesn't add up to me.
Also, I'm not sure that there really is anything wrong about talking to the fiance or employer about it - indeed, when they find out by themselves later, it will only be harder on him (possibly losing his family or career). Breaking an addiction is much easier to do at 26 than at 46. I've never met a person who is honestly happy with their addiction to anything.
I think that this is related to what most people are trying to tell you, which is that your brother is not addicted to weed. No, nobody is happy with their addictions, but myself and a few others here, are trying to explain that we think you're overreacting because your brother isn't addicted to weed. He's smoking up to have a good time, more or less, not to get a fix.
My previous post was formed based on the thread being about "how should I get my brother to stop smoking pot" rather than "should I stop my brother from smoking pot". The first is based on the assumption that the answer to the second is "yes".
I know why you responded as you did.
Saying that he shouldn't try to stop his brother is like going to a thread asking "how should I ask this girl out" and saying "you shouldn't, love never ends well". It's sorta on topic, but it really isn't all that useful to the topic creator.
False. If a member posts asking how to ask out an aging crackhead with ties to gangs and drug cartels, it's not unhelpful to make it clear to that member the dangers involved. If someone asks for advice on getting what they want, pointing out the consequences tied up in that is, in my opinion, quite valid advice.
In this case, our member wants to know how to get his brother to stop using weed. The brother has already been nagged and berated and shows no signs of stopping, nor does he show any signs that his drug use is a considerable problem in his life. The likelihood that using more extreme methods to get him to stop will be met with a lot of resistance on the brother's part and Hamid needs to be advised that he may do more harm than good if he pursues this too zealously.
Giving advice doesn't stop at giving a person exactly what they want to hear.
Also, I'm not sure that there really is anything wrong about talking to the fiance or employer about it - indeed, when they find out by themselves later, it will only be harder on him (possibly losing his family or career).
To me it's a rather gross invasion into his brother's life, meddling with it to get what Hamid wants. The fiance likely already knows about the drug use, but regardless, attempting to use her and their relationship as emotional leverage is dirty. Even worse is jeopardizing his career, which is unforgivable if you ask me. If someone I knew went to my boss and made my work harder (or worse, got me fired) because of something from my private life that they don't agree with, there'd be hell to pay.
You can't make someone's life better by tearing apart the good things they've got going. You're only going to make them bitter and even more resistant.
Would I do everything I suggested if I were in the same position? Probably not. I also wouldn't call anything I suggested forcing him to change at gunpoint, either. If his brother really doesn't think that there is anything wrong with smoking pot, why should he hide it from his employer/fiance?
Fiance, I agree. But employer? I don't think most employers are cool with their employees being potheads. Even if their drug use has never affected their work, it'll make things worse for the employee at work.
So yes, an ultimatum along the lines of "stop smoking or I'll screw with your relationship or make trouble for you at your work" is forcing them to change at gunpoint. They don't do what you want and you pull the trigger by causing trouble for them as consequences for not doing what you want.
I personally believe that we should be willing to face the consequences that would occur if all of our actions were made public knowledge. I don't think I would ever hold anybody to that kind of standard, but if someone were to tell all of my secrets, I would have no right to be angry at anybody but myself.
Personally, I'd be angry at the person spilling my personal stuff, but I'm irrational that way.
That doesn't seem excessive to you? I mean tossing his stash is fairly diskish to begin with but causing trouble for his relationship or his work?
I fail to see how thats excessive. Tossing out something illegal is dickish? really, anyone that has this point of view shouldn't give the OP advice - you're already set against him to begin with, and posting "DONT TELL HIM NOT TO!" is not only pointless, but its completely ignoring the OP and pretty much off topic.
You might just find that a little pot isn't as bad as not having a brother.
Wouldn't a little less pot be better than not having a brother, too?
@OP: What Emperor Norton said. Try being nice, and if he doesnt listen, give him the choice of loosing weed or loosing family/friends/work/ect, to varying degrees. If he chooses weed over family, then it almost seems like a waste of time to even try with him. Just toss him out/toss his stash/tell his boss. And if his girlfriend doesnt know, you have an ace in the hole.
Regardless, good luck!
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I've officially quit magic. Don't like the crap that WotC's been taking on us.
Smoking pot is for cool people who totally can hand-pick which laws to follow and which to not follow.
Though most of the people in this thread are right; if it isn't affecting you, then you really can't say much.
But you've made this thread, so obviously it is bothering you in some way. Find the right words to express your feelings and just tell him. If he still doesn't care (assuming your gripes are legitimate) then there's sadly not much you can do with someone like that.
Personally, those who do drugs of any sort without regard for those around them and, when confronted, still care only for themselves are borderline sociopaths.
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#define ALWAYS SOMETIMES
#define NEVER RARELY
#define ALL MANY
-=GIVE US SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN=-
I'm nerd enough to link my WoW Armory Though I'll put it in a small font.
So his life is going fairly well (engaged, graduated college, etc.) and you're mad because he likes weed?
Stop being a tool. Think for yourself. Stop being jealous.
End.
ALSO, DON'T **** UP HIS LIFE YOU ****ING *******. HE IS DOING WELL WHILE SMOKING AND YOU WANT TO MAKE HIM LOSE HIS JOB AND FUTURE FAMILY? YOU ARE RUINING HIS LIFE, NOT ****ING WEED.
Also, don't screw up his life. If he is doing well while smoking and you make him lose his job and/or family, then it is YOU that are ruining his life, not weed.
I don't mean to flame, but that is ridiculous. Let him live, he'll be away from you soon enough.
Hamid, i'm sure everyone here has said all the other ways (i stopped reading about halfway through the thread) but it's recently been learned by the Scientists down in Portland Oregon or whatever that smoking weed Can lead to testicular Cancer, and many other downer symptoms. however none of those are seriously issued. Weed has proven to lower Sperm Count, and according to those scientists. has the option to cause testicular Cancer. and I'm sure no man wants to have his nuts removed.
If the seriousness of "faux" Threatening that he can have his manhood (being his nuts, and not his other parts) removed and never have children (most men want them) don't get it through his skull, well then i don't know what else to tell you. But it's proven to lower sperm count as well. i'll see what i can do to find the news Article. so you and (i) can back up this claim.
I personally do smoke weed, Irregularly. but i still do it.
Ravarshi Kashaku, Ancient Dragon of the Darkened Realms;
The Merciless Lord of Torture, Permanently Bound To: ">[THE PACK] 11/5/63 - 11/25/09 Goodbye mom, i'll always love you...
I am 31, unemployed, a regular to heavy drinker, and am lazy according to my family.
I also have a college degree from a snooty "elite" school, a Masters from CU-Boulder, a wife, a kid, and friends that I have been close with since I was 4.
Ultimately people judge me on who I am as a person and how I treat them. I can spin my life resume to make me look like a stud, or I can make myself look like a loser and be factual in both stories.
He's your brother. If you have a good relationship you should tell him your issues, but also realize that they are your issues. He sounds like he has his act together and doesn't need your saving. If he is good to you, good to his family, good to his friends, good to his job, then he is good.
One of my said friends of 25+ years is a Wake N' Bake guy and aside from him smelling funny once in a while he is totally fine. I love him for who he is and the life we've lived together and shared for 25+ years. That is what counts.
I fail to see how thats excessive. Tossing out something illegal is dickish?
Tossing out something that isn't yours and is rather benign on its own simply because you don't like it is dickish. I really just can't make it any more plain than that.
really, anyone that has this point of view shouldn't give the OP advice - you're already set against him to begin with, and posting "DONT TELL HIM NOT TO!" is not only pointless, but its completely ignoring the OP and pretty much off topic.
If posters disagree with something, are they not allowed to voice that? Last I checked, alternative perspectives were wonderful things when deciding a course of action.
Not to mention that some of us aren't against Hamid, we're just against him going any farther than expressing his concerns and attempting to discuss the issue with his brother. He's free to discard that advice if he wants, but I don't see why posters can't give it in the first place.
I also have a college degree from a snooty "elite" school, a Masters from CU-Boulder, a wife, a kid, and friends that I have been close with since I was 4.
He's your brother. If you have a good relationship you should tell him your issues, but also realize that they are your issues. He sounds like he has his act together and doesn't need your saving. If he is good to you, good to his family, good to his friends, good to his job, then he is good.
One of my said friends of 25+ years is a Wake N' Bake guy and aside from him smelling funny once in a while he is totally fine. I love him for who he is and the life we've lived together and shared for 25+ years. That is what counts.
(He graduated from CU Denver by the way.)
But yes these are also my problems as well as his. Sure he might be doing well so far, but his fiance doesn't know he smokes 2-3 times daily, he has yet to get a real job, and my entire family is ashamed of him. Most of you say weed isn't going to ruin your life, well all my grade school friends are either in prison from dealing or doing other drugs like Ecstasy and Heroin. Marijuana was their first drug and with it came people and other drugs who were going to ruin their lives. That is what i meant by a "gateway drug."
(He graduated from CU Denver by the way.)
But yes these are also my problems as well as his. Sure he might be doing well so far, but his fiance doesn't know he smokes 2-3 times daily, he has yet to get a real job, and my entire family is ashamed of him. Most of you say weed isn't going to ruin your life, well all my grade school friends are either in prison from dealing or doing other drugs like Ecstasy and Heroin. Marijuana was their first drug and with it came people and other drugs who were going to ruin their lives. That is what i meant by a "gateway drug."
Hamid, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you really care about your brother and your feelings are mostly based on your observations of your friends, your families reaction, and your personal beliefs. While most people say weed doesn't ruin people's lives, you know people whose lives it has ruined.
I think it's great that you care for your brother, but I also think that sometimes one needs to accept that people change when they want to change. Especially when it comes to substance use, people rarely change solely because of an outside force, like the police. People change because they want to, because they would rather live their life sober than not. It's really hard to convince someone to do that. I think what we can do is be there for the people we love; when they want help, they'll ask for it, and we can give it to them. Now, that doesn't mean you can't tell your brother that you don't like being around him when he smokes or is high. That's your right and you don't have to put up with being around his behavior if you don't want to do so. Be clear about it, but also tell him that you love him, and that you want to spend time with him, just not while he's stoned.
I really can't disagree with the what most posters have said. Its up to him, if it directly hurts you, do something. If it does not, let him be. Most times it takes a person to fall, to learn from their mistakes.
With that being said, I'll throw out some of my experiences.
I started doing drugs when I was 13 because I idolized my older brother. I actually started drinking first, when I realized what else was out there. I have done pretty much all there is to do(this isn't bragging, I'm trying to make a point) and yes it was bad, but I learned from my mistakes. Some of which I will never forgive myself for.
In the end I have learned a few things about drugs and alcohol from both myself and my friends. One of which is that pot isn't a gateway drug. The gateway is compulsion, pressure, and society itself. Normally, its not the drug that gets you to move up(I've seen it happen but its rare) but the people who you trust.
Also, I have found that those who drink are more often in a bad mood than those who smoke pot.
My one gripe against weed, is certain people with disorder's like depression have the tendency to become paranoid. Other than that, its not as bad as people make it out to be. The effects of whiskey, vodka, or tequila are often worse than that od marijuana.
My one religious point is that God gave mankind free will. Even if Marijuana was put here to test us, in the end, its up to us to make that choice.
(He graduated from CU Denver by the way.)
But yes these are also my problems as well as his. Sure he might be doing well so far, but his fiance doesn't know he smokes 2-3 times daily, he has yet to get a real job, and my entire family is ashamed of him. Most of you say weed isn't going to ruin your life, well all my grade school friends are either in prison from dealing or doing other drugs like Ecstasy and Heroin. Marijuana was their first drug and with it came people and other drugs who were going to ruin their lives. That is what i meant by a "gateway drug."
Marijuana is a Gateway Drug, but also not at the same time. Personally from my perspective. it's not, but from watching my friends i would agree that it is, "Kinda". The reason i would say that it's not, is because Weed being a gateway Drug, all depends on 1 specific point. Willpower. Without Willpower, you're likely to start it out of peer pressure, and then gradually "graduate" to drugs that are harder, more savage on the human body. Such as Crack, Cocaine, or PCP, or Worse Heroin. Drugs generally follow a course based on my studies, Personally, no i'm no scientist, although i notice my surroundings.
It starts with Weed, then Graduates to Extacy, or snorting OTC drugs, like Oxycodone, then graduates to the more harmful, more addictive and vicious drugs.
On the Other side of the coin. With the Right amount of willpower, you can be like me, tried it, kinda liked it, so made a decision to only do it OCCASIONALLY. RARELY, and generally IRREGULARLY. I've never done any drug after that that wasn't specifically prescribed to me by my doctors, (I've been prescribed pain pills, due to heart surgeries, Completely Unrelated to me smoking weed).
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Ravarshi Kashaku, Ancient Dragon of the Darkened Realms;
The Merciless Lord of Torture, Permanently Bound To: ">[THE PACK] 11/5/63 - 11/25/09 Goodbye mom, i'll always love you...
But yes these are also my problems as well as his. Sure he might be doing well so far, but his fiance doesn't know he smokes 2-3 times daily, he has yet to get a real job, and my entire family is ashamed of him.
I kinda think she knows if he smokes 2-3 times a day. And as I said, we choose how we define people. You have chosen to define him as a slacker in this forum. If he graduated in May with his degree, I wouldn't hold him to the fire about not getting a "real job" just yet. Where I live the want ads are all asking for college graduates with 3-5 years of experience and pay $10/hr. I choose not to work now because with child care I end up making $100-$125 a month by working full time. I'd rather spend time with my family and have time to pursue more important things than $100 a month.
Most of you say weed isn't going to ruin your life, well all my grade school friends are either in prison from dealing or doing other drugs like Ecstasy and Heroin. Marijuana was their first drug and with it came people and other drugs who were going to ruin their lives. That is what i meant by a "gateway drug."
You live in a vacuous suburb where kids typically do one of three things: Sports, Drugs, or School. From your profile I can tell you chose options 1 and maybe 3. I chose School. The fallen friends you refer to are probably going with option, and my guess is that marijuana was their gateway drug ONLY because it is the easiest to get ahold of in Arvada. Seriously, when I lived there I could literally have yelled out my door that I wanted an eighth and within 2 minutes it'd be in my hand. I caught the Mormon missionaries upstairs high a few times, so it had to be easy to score. So.... your friends are where they are because of decisions they made and not because of the drug. I like drugs, but know that a personality like mine doesn't do well with them. I knew this when I was in Junior High, so you can't chock that up to wisdom or experience. When I was in college I smoked pot a few times but stopped when my friend Dan turned into a giant donut wearing a sailor's hat. The kicker was when his eye's started glowing blue. (I'm pretty sure this wasn't just pot I was smoking though)
Please tell me you and your family don't think your athlete friends are examples to live. If the news is even half as accurate as they say they are, steroids are everywhere in high school sports. That stuff is way worse for you (it has ACTUALLY caused a lot of deaths).
My point is and was: He's your brother and he sounds like he's doing okay. If he is an ass and you don't like the guy just come out and say it. If you love him, then just accept that he has flaws and let it go. None of this has anything to do with you. When you start college you will be dealing with the same issues with people that are such douches that it'll make your head spin.
Most of you say weed isn't going to ruin your life, well all my grade school friends are either in prison from dealing or doing other drugs like Ecstasy and Heroin. Marijuana was their first drug and with it came people and other drugs who were going to ruin their lives. That is what i meant by a "gateway drug."
A lot of people and/or studies that say marijuana is a gateway drug look at things this way. They base things on people who have moved on to other drugs and see what drug they started with - rather than asking marijuana smokers if they've moved on to other drugs. Looking an all of your friends who have had drug problems, how many of them started drinking alcohol before using pot or other harder drugs? For those who did, would you consider alcohol the gateway drug? If not, you might want to ask yourself why you don't see alcohol that way but do see marijuana as the gateway drug. Is it only because pot is illegal or because you personally don't approve of it?
Well the title pretty much sums up my problem. Recently my older 26 year old brother has been smoking weed more and more often. This morning i awoke to the noise he was making trying to light and smoke his bong. It's getting to the point where I feel I need to say something.
He's a good guy. He just graduated from his masters program with a degree in Public Administration, he's engaged to a woman, and religious. But somehow he smokes weed in the middle of all this. He claims our religion never said you can not smoke weed even though it's considered taboo. In a literal sense, yes it never says you can not smoke weed, but it does say "do not take substances that alter your thinking" (paraphrased). But apparently he follows what he wants to follow.
Ever since I was little, he has been smoking secretly and my parents do not approve of it, but even they have given up on him. He has been kicked out many times from our house and always allowed back in after a time. But now a days since my father is gone, my mother has stopped nagging him. He seems to smoking more and more now.
My parents have had countless arguments about it with him. He always pulls the "No one has been recorded to overdose on marijuana" card. He even brings books and articles claiming that marijuana is not an addicting or destructive drug but the opposite, beneficial.
Even though it may be plausible or completely true, I can't stand him like this. Maybe because the fact I am afraid to lose my only brother to the law or worse, to death. He has even asked me to give him my urine for a drug test. If I tell him all this he'll just assure me not to worry, because he has it all under control and that it's not a gateway drug for him. He'll bring up facts and statistics which I can't compete with.
I just want him to stop before he makes a wrong move. I just don't know how to approach him with this. We've never talked to about it because it was always something I hoped would go away.
I need help with a way to approach this situation, talk about, and resolve his problem for good.
If anyone has ideas, it is VERY appreciated, no doubt.
heres a fact you can nail on him ther was a medical study conduted in the UK recently that WEED causes testicular cancer. th case found tha many british men who frequented canibous clubs got testicular cancer.
also weed is a banned subtance here he gets caught growing it well they don't look to kindly down her youd go to tent city in a heartbeat an get cuffed
Please tell me you and your family don't think your athlete friends are examples to live. If the news is even half as accurate as they say they are, steroids are everywhere in high school sports. That stuff is way worse for you (it has ACTUALLY caused a lot of deaths).
My point is and was: He's your brother and he sounds like he's doing okay. If he is an ass and you don't like the guy just come out and say it. If you love him, then just accept that he has flaws and let it go. None of this has anything to do with you. When you start college you will be dealing with the same issues with people that are such douches that it'll make your head spin.
I know the exceptions are not the rule, but considering that 3 of my life long friends are now gone due to drugs, its hard not to become a little bias.
I believe considering how hard it is to change yourself then you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. If my brother came up to me and told me that he would disown me if I did not smoke with him, I could understand how he would feel if i would say the opposite to him. I'm going to tell him how i feel about what he's doing, what has happened to my friends, and how it will be beneficial for him to stop. Other than that it is ultimately his choice. Now I understand that. It kinda sucks, but it is also relieving in a way that I will have closure on the subject.
@Hamid76 I honestly think your overreacting because you disapprove of weed. He sounds like hes got most of his life pretty well together and just because you don't like him doing it isn't a good reason to try and change him. His fiance knows I'm sure she has to by this point. The people your talking bout it ruining the life's of you said dealt heroin and did ecstasy which has nothing to do with weed your just trying to group all drugs together. I know a lot of drug addicts and your brother sounds nothing like an addict to me. I also think people who have never smoked in this case can't fully comprehend what its like and go off of stereotypes. So to some it all up just cause you want him to change doesn't mean he should. It seems selfish because your trying to make your brother into someone he isn't. If he wants to stop he will if not he won't. The more you try to change someone the further apart you get and I know this from personal experience.
Also agreed with most of Mikey's advice he always gives really good advice.
this is awsomely funny. The dude is 26 still lives at home and is waking his younger brother up by smoking pot. This guy sounds like a huge loser to me. Especially when hes trying to defend himself by saying its not addicting. If thats the case why is his getting high at the crack of dawn. I mean this kid sounds like the stuff they tell you in school so you wont strt doing drugs.
Why dont your parents just kick him out. Hes an adult and hes not following your parents wish. They should tell him to hit the curb, its really that simple. And once he's on his own he can do wheatever he wants. But im sure that wont happen because Im sure this guy has complete controll over the houshold. Thats why hes been getting high in his parents house since high school and he still lives there at 26. Im sure his parents have 0 control over him, which I think is really sad.
And yes I did read most of the posts and yes I think no one drug is "better" or "worse" to do. If its either junk or pot its all the same to me. Ok with that said ...FLAME ON!
I also think people who have never smoked in this case can't fully comprehend what its like and go off of stereotypes.
This is a logical fallacy. It's about as sound reasoning as:
"I don't know why all of you non-child rapists are putting me on some watch list. You've never tried it and can't fully comprehend what its like and go off on stereotypes."
People judge, and we do it quite well. Our judgments are effected by our life experiences and his life experience is that the "gateway drug" theory is true. The people close to him have had their lives ruined or lost due in part to weed, and he is worried that his brother could be going down the same path. It's an entirely logical fear to have, even more so if his brother was good friends with his lost friends as well (meaning they may very well share the same mindset and capabilities for a steady decline).
A while ago in this thread I was going to reply with "I can't wait until all of you try to refute his empirical evidence with internet statistics," but I felt it would be too trollish, even for me.
But that's exactly what you're using: internet statistics (from borderline e-thug-lawyers) versus his real life experiences and feelings. I will admit this isn't an issue one should come to these forums with, as his course of action should be based upon an infinite number of factors, his gut feeling among them, and we cannot give the best of advice without knowing everything, and he cannot possibly tell us everything.
The bottom line is this: In our lives the only true measure of self-worth we may have is those who care for us: our friends, our family, whoever they may be. It is the opinion of these people who we should be concerned with more than any other, if we should be concerned with any other at all. If his entire family: his father, his mother, his brother, and his soon-to-be wife all negatively favor his weed habit/addiction/hobby/leisurely-activity/life-ruining-activity/whatever you may call it with due cause (though it being illegal is enough in my books) and he entirely disregards these pleas, then he is a selfish person.
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These are great reasons I will use in our discussion. Im sure he won't even have things to say about some of these things other than where did you get your information from.
Honestly I want him to stop for legal reasons and health reasons. He is my only brother and losing him to either one of these reasons, I'll always feel regret for not helping him. He seems to have his life in control and all but it can all be for nothing as soon as he gets caught or gets sick. He has devolved a Deep Thigh Thrombosis and takes the medicine Warfaryne as a blood thinner. I don't know if it has any connection to him smoking marijuana or if maybe he just believes it would help with his health problems.
I think I have an idea of how i want to approach him with this. I will not be another nagger by telling him to just stop because I disapprove, but I will calmly say I am genuinely concerned for his well being and go from there. He is an understanding person who I know will be glad to debate with me about marijuana when I ask him. Even if he does not quit entirely (which he probably won't) I will be happy that he at least knows that I know about his 'problem' and am willing to do whatever it takes to help him out.
Thanks again to all who responded.
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Listen, my parent's had the "drug talk" with me as a youth, and I still smoke. I smoke at least five times a week, and my parent's know about it, as do my siblings, girlfriend, girlfriend's parents, my grandparents, etc. Everyone knows about it, and I don't hide it from anyone. You want to know why nobody is "worried"about me like the OP is about his brother? Because they recognize that it's not ****ing up my life, and are happy that i've found something that "works" for me, regardless of it being of questionable orgins.
I'm not going to dabble into religion, since, well, I find it stupid. All I can say is that the bible is vague for a reason, and that reason is for personal interpretation. You see the bible as stating weed is bad, your brother might see the verse about God saying it's ok to consume all of the plants of the earth more relevent. Saying he's wrong and you're right is what causes most of these wars and bad **** going on in the world right now, just remember that.
I find people that talk about it killing and being a gateway drug and how addictive it is, well, comical. it's about as funny as that time I saw Dr. Phil when he had that "intervention" on the girl smoking pot. I don't mean to sound like a dick, but it does amuse me to no end because of how out of touch these comments really are. Nobody is addicted to weed, either chemically or psychologically. It's like they say in Half Baked: nobody's ever sucked dick for weed. If you have it, great, if you don't oh well. As a former cigarette smoker, I can tell you there's a big difference between NEEDING a smoke and WANTING a joint. And nobody is addicted to the feeling of being high. Feels good, man, but so does eating candy. Or having sex. Or nailing a sweet guitar solo. Feeling good isn't an addiction.
The only thing weed is a gateway for is the munchies. All my firends smoke, but I can't name a single one that has tried heroin, crack, LSD, etc. In fact, i'd counter the logic of it being a gateway drug by saying that I feel most potheads are LESS likely to try other drugs because weed is so effective. Why pay more money for stuff that WILL harm you, when you can just smoke a dime and chill? Doesn't make any sense.
To the OP: I personally think you are out of line and worrying over nothing, but like I originally stated up here in Canada it's not as big of a deal as it seems to be where you're from, so I will reserve judgement. What I will say is that you shouldn't be trying to "reach out" to someone that obviously isn't reaching back. He's a smart guy, right? going to school for MBs and BAs and whatnot. I'd think he'd be smart enough to come to his family if he was having a problem. The best thing you can do is let him know that it does bother you,and if this really does bother you as much as you're implying it does, just be prepared to deal with the consequences of whatever action you decide to take (calling the cops, cutting him out of your life, telling his fiance, etc). You might just find that a little pot isn't as bad as not having a brother.
Do you understand what a psychological addiction is?
Really?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hypersexuality
There are certain eating disorders to check into as well.
Out of touch? I smoked pot for years, and I developed a psychological addiction to it. I've seen others develop an addiction to it in the same way. I've also seen individuals handle it perfectly. It's just like a gambling addiction; some people can handle it casually, others aren't so lucky.
As far as sounding like a dick? Not really, but you do sound...
inexperienced.
That doesn't seem excessive to you? I mean tossing his stash is fairly diskish to begin with but causing trouble for his relationship or his work? Just because you don't like that he smokes pot even if it doesn't appear to be having a strong negative effect on his life? Forcing his brother to change at the barrel of a gun just to suit Hamid's ideals is not the answer.
And to address the concerns raised about this thread and going against the forum rules about discussion of illegal activity, I don't feel that this discussion crosses that line. The forums involve talk of illegal acts rather often, the trick is context. Discussion of the merits and debates concerning drug use is different than discussing the best ways to grow weed plants or how to smuggle cocaine across the border. Just like acknowledging that internet piracy exists and discussing that fact is different than linking users to a torrent site. Or like how we discuss things like murder, rape, abuse, stealing, fraud, etc in WCT and Debate without actually contributing to those problems. There's a difference between keeping discussions appropriate for the forum and stifling a subject altogether. I think, in that vein, it's not against the spirit of the rules to allow people to say that they aren't against the use of drugs.
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Man, I went through that. I just got back in touch with him this year after 11 years of not having him in my life. Don't paint yourself into a corner...
Also, about the blood thinners he is on, IIRC, THC is a blood thinner. Tattoo shops say not to smoke any or drink before getting a tat.
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My previous post was formed based on the thread being about "how should I get my brother to stop smoking pot" rather than "should I stop my brother from smoking pot". The first is based on the assumption that the answer to the second is "yes".
Saying that he shouldn't try to stop his brother is like going to a thread asking "how should I ask this girl out" and saying "you shouldn't, love never ends well". It's sorta on topic, but it really isn't all that useful to the topic creator.
I merely stated different methods that could be used in order to reach that goal. If this topic was created as a discussion on whether or not weed should be legalized or if it is morally wrong, I most certainly would not have posted, because I don't feel strongly enough about the topic to contribute meaningfully.
Also, I'm not sure that there really is anything wrong about talking to the fiance or employer about it - indeed, when they find out by themselves later, it will only be harder on him (possibly losing his family or career). Breaking an addiction is much easier to do at 26 than at 46. I've never met a person who is honestly happy with their addiction to anything.
Would I do everything I suggested if I were in the same position? Probably not. I also wouldn't call anything I suggested forcing him to change at gunpoint, either. If his brother really doesn't think that there is anything wrong with smoking pot, why should he hide it from his employer/fiance?
I personally believe that we should be willing to face the consequences that would occur if all of our actions were made public knowledge. I don't think I would ever hold anybody to that kind of standard, but if someone were to tell all of my secrets, I would have no right to be angry at anybody but myself.
Thank you for pointing me to this article, as I was unaware that there was such a thing as sexual addiction and food addiction, or even that one could become addicted to gambling. This has really opened a lot of doors for me and shined a new light on the subject.
Sarcasm aside, I never really bought into any of these as actual addictions. To me, it feels like how doctors are always coming up with new ways to diagnose people with different diseases so they'll have to come up with new drugs to pay for, and keep the cycle going. Sure, I can see the merit in gambling addiction, as my father's tore my family apart. And I can understand eating disorders as well, but I really think there are more underlying problems with these people then the amount of sex they're having, or how much they are/are not eating.
I personally think people who become "psychologically addicted" to things with no actual addictive properties just generally weak, or lacking in willpower, which probably has more to do with self-esteem then it does with whatever they claim to be addicted to. Sure, all addictions are serious, and i'm sorry if you were addicted to weed, but if we're talking about an smart guy in his mid 20's smoking a joint every now and then, and people wondering how to save him from this downward spiral of destruction. it just doesn't add up to me.
I think that this is related to what most people are trying to tell you, which is that your brother is not addicted to weed. No, nobody is happy with their addictions, but myself and a few others here, are trying to explain that we think you're overreacting because your brother isn't addicted to weed. He's smoking up to have a good time, more or less, not to get a fix.
I know why you responded as you did.
False. If a member posts asking how to ask out an aging crackhead with ties to gangs and drug cartels, it's not unhelpful to make it clear to that member the dangers involved. If someone asks for advice on getting what they want, pointing out the consequences tied up in that is, in my opinion, quite valid advice.
In this case, our member wants to know how to get his brother to stop using weed. The brother has already been nagged and berated and shows no signs of stopping, nor does he show any signs that his drug use is a considerable problem in his life. The likelihood that using more extreme methods to get him to stop will be met with a lot of resistance on the brother's part and Hamid needs to be advised that he may do more harm than good if he pursues this too zealously.
Giving advice doesn't stop at giving a person exactly what they want to hear.
To me it's a rather gross invasion into his brother's life, meddling with it to get what Hamid wants. The fiance likely already knows about the drug use, but regardless, attempting to use her and their relationship as emotional leverage is dirty. Even worse is jeopardizing his career, which is unforgivable if you ask me. If someone I knew went to my boss and made my work harder (or worse, got me fired) because of something from my private life that they don't agree with, there'd be hell to pay.
You can't make someone's life better by tearing apart the good things they've got going. You're only going to make them bitter and even more resistant.
Fiance, I agree. But employer? I don't think most employers are cool with their employees being potheads. Even if their drug use has never affected their work, it'll make things worse for the employee at work.
So yes, an ultimatum along the lines of "stop smoking or I'll screw with your relationship or make trouble for you at your work" is forcing them to change at gunpoint. They don't do what you want and you pull the trigger by causing trouble for them as consequences for not doing what you want.
Personally, I'd be angry at the person spilling my personal stuff, but I'm irrational that way.
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I fail to see how thats excessive. Tossing out something illegal is dickish? really, anyone that has this point of view shouldn't give the OP advice - you're already set against him to begin with, and posting "DONT TELL HIM NOT TO!" is not only pointless, but its completely ignoring the OP and pretty much off topic.
Wouldn't a little less pot be better than not having a brother, too?
@OP: What Emperor Norton said. Try being nice, and if he doesnt listen, give him the choice of loosing weed or loosing family/friends/work/ect, to varying degrees. If he chooses weed over family, then it almost seems like a waste of time to even try with him. Just toss him out/toss his stash/tell his boss. And if his girlfriend doesnt know, you have an ace in the hole.
Regardless, good luck!
Smoking pot is for cool people who totally can hand-pick which laws to follow and which to not follow.
Though most of the people in this thread are right; if it isn't affecting you, then you really can't say much.
But you've made this thread, so obviously it is bothering you in some way. Find the right words to express your feelings and just tell him. If he still doesn't care (assuming your gripes are legitimate) then there's sadly not much you can do with someone like that.
Personally, those who do drugs of any sort without regard for those around them and, when confronted, still care only for themselves are borderline sociopaths.
Though I'll put it in a small font.
Please stop hijacking my reply box.
Stop being a tool. Think for yourself. Stop being jealous.
End.
ALSO, DON'T **** UP HIS LIFE YOU ****ING *******. HE IS DOING WELL WHILE SMOKING AND YOU WANT TO MAKE HIM LOSE HIS JOB AND FUTURE FAMILY? YOU ARE RUINING HIS LIFE, NOT ****ING WEED.Also, don't screw up his life. If he is doing well while smoking and you make him lose his job and/or family, then it is YOU that are ruining his life, not weed.
I don't mean to flame, but that is ridiculous. Let him live, he'll be away from you soon enough.
Infraction for Flaming
If the seriousness of "faux" Threatening that he can have his manhood (being his nuts, and not his other parts) removed and never have children (most men want them) don't get it through his skull, well then i don't know what else to tell you. But it's proven to lower sperm count as well. i'll see what i can do to find the news Article. so you and (i) can back up this claim.
I personally do smoke weed, Irregularly. but i still do it.
Here Are a Few Links.
http://health.usnews.com/articles/health/healthday/2009/02/09/marijuana-linked-to-aggressive-testicular-cancer.html
http://www.sciencedaily.com/news/mind_brain/marijuana/
http://www.epsychology.us/marijuana-testicular-cancer-link/
http://www.urfresh.info/2009/02/09/marijuana-linked-to-testicular-cancer/
There was also a video somewhere, that i cant Find offhand that showed it on a News Article. ABC news or something.. Look it up
Hope this helps
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I also have a college degree from a snooty "elite" school, a Masters from CU-Boulder, a wife, a kid, and friends that I have been close with since I was 4.
Ultimately people judge me on who I am as a person and how I treat them. I can spin my life resume to make me look like a stud, or I can make myself look like a loser and be factual in both stories.
He's your brother. If you have a good relationship you should tell him your issues, but also realize that they are your issues. He sounds like he has his act together and doesn't need your saving. If he is good to you, good to his family, good to his friends, good to his job, then he is good.
One of my said friends of 25+ years is a Wake N' Bake guy and aside from him smelling funny once in a while he is totally fine. I love him for who he is and the life we've lived together and shared for 25+ years. That is what counts.
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Tossing out something that isn't yours and is rather benign on its own simply because you don't like it is dickish. I really just can't make it any more plain than that.
If posters disagree with something, are they not allowed to voice that? Last I checked, alternative perspectives were wonderful things when deciding a course of action.
Not to mention that some of us aren't against Hamid, we're just against him going any farther than expressing his concerns and attempting to discuss the issue with his brother. He's free to discard that advice if he wants, but I don't see why posters can't give it in the first place.
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(He graduated from CU Denver by the way.)
But yes these are also my problems as well as his. Sure he might be doing well so far, but his fiance doesn't know he smokes 2-3 times daily, he has yet to get a real job, and my entire family is ashamed of him. Most of you say weed isn't going to ruin your life, well all my grade school friends are either in prison from dealing or doing other drugs like Ecstasy and Heroin. Marijuana was their first drug and with it came people and other drugs who were going to ruin their lives. That is what i meant by a "gateway drug."
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Hamid, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you really care about your brother and your feelings are mostly based on your observations of your friends, your families reaction, and your personal beliefs. While most people say weed doesn't ruin people's lives, you know people whose lives it has ruined.
I think it's great that you care for your brother, but I also think that sometimes one needs to accept that people change when they want to change. Especially when it comes to substance use, people rarely change solely because of an outside force, like the police. People change because they want to, because they would rather live their life sober than not. It's really hard to convince someone to do that. I think what we can do is be there for the people we love; when they want help, they'll ask for it, and we can give it to them. Now, that doesn't mean you can't tell your brother that you don't like being around him when he smokes or is high. That's your right and you don't have to put up with being around his behavior if you don't want to do so. Be clear about it, but also tell him that you love him, and that you want to spend time with him, just not while he's stoned.
With that being said, I'll throw out some of my experiences.
I started doing drugs when I was 13 because I idolized my older brother. I actually started drinking first, when I realized what else was out there. I have done pretty much all there is to do(this isn't bragging, I'm trying to make a point) and yes it was bad, but I learned from my mistakes. Some of which I will never forgive myself for.
In the end I have learned a few things about drugs and alcohol from both myself and my friends. One of which is that pot isn't a gateway drug. The gateway is compulsion, pressure, and society itself. Normally, its not the drug that gets you to move up(I've seen it happen but its rare) but the people who you trust.
Also, I have found that those who drink are more often in a bad mood than those who smoke pot.
My one gripe against weed, is certain people with disorder's like depression have the tendency to become paranoid. Other than that, its not as bad as people make it out to be. The effects of whiskey, vodka, or tequila are often worse than that od marijuana.
My one religious point is that God gave mankind free will. Even if Marijuana was put here to test us, in the end, its up to us to make that choice.
I wish you luck in whatever path you take.
Marijuana is a Gateway Drug, but also not at the same time. Personally from my perspective. it's not, but from watching my friends i would agree that it is, "Kinda". The reason i would say that it's not, is because Weed being a gateway Drug, all depends on 1 specific point. Willpower. Without Willpower, you're likely to start it out of peer pressure, and then gradually "graduate" to drugs that are harder, more savage on the human body. Such as Crack, Cocaine, or PCP, or Worse Heroin. Drugs generally follow a course based on my studies, Personally, no i'm no scientist, although i notice my surroundings.
It starts with Weed, then Graduates to Extacy, or snorting OTC drugs, like Oxycodone, then graduates to the more harmful, more addictive and vicious drugs.
On the Other side of the coin. With the Right amount of willpower, you can be like me, tried it, kinda liked it, so made a decision to only do it OCCASIONALLY. RARELY, and generally IRREGULARLY. I've never done any drug after that that wasn't specifically prescribed to me by my doctors, (I've been prescribed pain pills, due to heart surgeries, Completely Unrelated to me smoking weed).
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I taught at Metro for 3 years so I know the campus well and I lived in Arvada for about 5 (relevant later in post).
I kinda think she knows if he smokes 2-3 times a day. And as I said, we choose how we define people. You have chosen to define him as a slacker in this forum. If he graduated in May with his degree, I wouldn't hold him to the fire about not getting a "real job" just yet. Where I live the want ads are all asking for college graduates with 3-5 years of experience and pay $10/hr. I choose not to work now because with child care I end up making $100-$125 a month by working full time. I'd rather spend time with my family and have time to pursue more important things than $100 a month.
You live in a vacuous suburb where kids typically do one of three things: Sports, Drugs, or School. From your profile I can tell you chose options 1 and maybe 3. I chose School. The fallen friends you refer to are probably going with option, and my guess is that marijuana was their gateway drug ONLY because it is the easiest to get ahold of in Arvada. Seriously, when I lived there I could literally have yelled out my door that I wanted an eighth and within 2 minutes it'd be in my hand. I caught the Mormon missionaries upstairs high a few times, so it had to be easy to score. So.... your friends are where they are because of decisions they made and not because of the drug. I like drugs, but know that a personality like mine doesn't do well with them. I knew this when I was in Junior High, so you can't chock that up to wisdom or experience. When I was in college I smoked pot a few times but stopped when my friend Dan turned into a giant donut wearing a sailor's hat. The kicker was when his eye's started glowing blue. (I'm pretty sure this wasn't just pot I was smoking though)
Please tell me you and your family don't think your athlete friends are examples to live. If the news is even half as accurate as they say they are, steroids are everywhere in high school sports. That stuff is way worse for you (it has ACTUALLY caused a lot of deaths).
My point is and was: He's your brother and he sounds like he's doing okay. If he is an ass and you don't like the guy just come out and say it. If you love him, then just accept that he has flaws and let it go. None of this has anything to do with you. When you start college you will be dealing with the same issues with people that are such douches that it'll make your head spin.
WUBRGPauper Battle BoxWUBRG ... and why I am not a fan of Wayne Reynolds' Illustrations.
A lot of people and/or studies that say marijuana is a gateway drug look at things this way. They base things on people who have moved on to other drugs and see what drug they started with - rather than asking marijuana smokers if they've moved on to other drugs. Looking an all of your friends who have had drug problems, how many of them started drinking alcohol before using pot or other harder drugs? For those who did, would you consider alcohol the gateway drug? If not, you might want to ask yourself why you don't see alcohol that way but do see marijuana as the gateway drug. Is it only because pot is illegal or because you personally don't approve of it?
heres a fact you can nail on him ther was a medical study conduted in the UK recently that WEED causes testicular cancer. th case found tha many british men who frequented canibous clubs got testicular cancer.
also weed is a banned subtance here he gets caught growing it well they don't look to kindly down her youd go to tent city in a heartbeat an get cuffed
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I know the exceptions are not the rule, but considering that 3 of my life long friends are now gone due to drugs, its hard not to become a little bias.
I believe considering how hard it is to change yourself then you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others. If my brother came up to me and told me that he would disown me if I did not smoke with him, I could understand how he would feel if i would say the opposite to him. I'm going to tell him how i feel about what he's doing, what has happened to my friends, and how it will be beneficial for him to stop. Other than that it is ultimately his choice. Now I understand that. It kinda sucks, but it is also relieving in a way that I will have closure on the subject.
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Also agreed with most of Mikey's advice he always gives really good advice.
Thanks to Magus of the Sheep at Scuttlemutt Productions for the best ever sig.
Why dont your parents just kick him out. Hes an adult and hes not following your parents wish. They should tell him to hit the curb, its really that simple. And once he's on his own he can do wheatever he wants. But im sure that wont happen because Im sure this guy has complete controll over the houshold. Thats why hes been getting high in his parents house since high school and he still lives there at 26. Im sure his parents have 0 control over him, which I think is really sad.
And yes I did read most of the posts and yes I think no one drug is "better" or "worse" to do. If its either junk or pot its all the same to me. Ok with that said ...FLAME ON!
http://forums.mtgsalvation.com/showthread.php?t=151479
"I don't know why all of you non-child rapists are putting me on some watch list. You've never tried it and can't fully comprehend what its like and go off on stereotypes."
People judge, and we do it quite well. Our judgments are effected by our life experiences and his life experience is that the "gateway drug" theory is true. The people close to him have had their lives ruined or lost due in part to weed, and he is worried that his brother could be going down the same path. It's an entirely logical fear to have, even more so if his brother was good friends with his lost friends as well (meaning they may very well share the same mindset and capabilities for a steady decline).
A while ago in this thread I was going to reply with "I can't wait until all of you try to refute his empirical evidence with internet statistics," but I felt it would be too trollish, even for me.
But that's exactly what you're using: internet statistics (from borderline e-thug-lawyers) versus his real life experiences and feelings. I will admit this isn't an issue one should come to these forums with, as his course of action should be based upon an infinite number of factors, his gut feeling among them, and we cannot give the best of advice without knowing everything, and he cannot possibly tell us everything.
The bottom line is this: In our lives the only true measure of self-worth we may have is those who care for us: our friends, our family, whoever they may be. It is the opinion of these people who we should be concerned with more than any other, if we should be concerned with any other at all. If his entire family: his father, his mother, his brother, and his soon-to-be wife all negatively favor his weed habit/addiction/hobby/leisurely-activity/life-ruining-activity/whatever you may call it with due cause (though it being illegal is enough in my books) and he entirely disregards these pleas, then he is a selfish person.
Though I'll put it in a small font.
Please stop hijacking my reply box.