Listen to these people and run away. a young girl that aggressive is after something and it might not be something you want to be stuck with.
Your young but she is younger and plenty of guys her age.
Like someone said you might have to be rude or a jerk but it beats getting stuck in something that you will regret.
on top of that she is 17. she doesn't know what she wants. this is called infatuation. just remember there were a group of teenagers that just recently slept with a bunch of guys to get pregnant.
for some reason girls think it is hip to walk around with a baby. (thanks to our so called pop stars).
i don't think you want a lifetime commitment out of that.
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if the issue is that you don't like her, tell her "look, you're cool and all, but no. Not interested. Not even once you're legal."
If the problem is the whole "stat rape causes me to get prison raped" situation, how about, go ahead and date her, but DON'T GET HER NAKED. Tempting as it may be, wait a damn year.
I work with sex offenders through my states criminal justice division and most of the people on it can't work, can't get an apartment and can't go outside without getting threatened for taking the wrong step after being exactly where you are now. Consentual intercourse or sexual contact seperated only be a few years can ruin your life.
I work with sex offenders through my states criminal justice division and most of the people on it can't work, can't get an apartment and can't go outside without getting threatened for taking the wrong step after being exactly where you are now. Consentual intercourse or sexual contact seperated only be a few years can ruin your life.
except that according to washington state law, the legal age of consent there is only 16
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@ Crack: If you can't wait a year, then you or she both have issues. yes, it's illegal in most states, regardless of how old the older person is. Under 18 = no.
If I were you, I'd just actively ignore her (if you stop feeding the troll, it'll go away. If she doesn't, it's time to really avoid her at any cost) at worst, and wait about a year at best (but that's sort of useless, we all know what happens in-between waiting).
If I were you, I'd just actively ignore her (if you stop feeding the troll, it'll go away. If she doesn't, it's time to really avoid her at any cost) at worst, and wait about a year at best (but that's sort of useless, we all know what happens in-between waiting).
This. It wont work to wait, someone will get drunk, or weak, or whatever, and give in, and then sex will occur and you'll be left holding the sack.
Secondly: The Age of consent in washington state is 16, but... they have secondary laws that CAN, and HAVE been used to nail people engaging in such activities. Most states have these secondary laws that back up the age of consent, and more then a 2 year age difference will tend to get you nailed.
All in all: Go for it if you're suicidal. If its purely about the age, stay friends with her, eventually she'll get over you and end up as friends. *shrug* then you get to console the next dude who gives in and gets charged
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LOL there is no girl he just wants attention. You all know if a girl was willing to put out for him he wouldn't ask about it he would be to busy ^*%^&%&^% and @#$@#%$% and then !$@#%#$$%&^
My friend just got done with a relationship where the girl was 18 and he was 23 and though that French guy said he knew relationships that were just fine, my friend's relationship was a train wreck. Seriously, the maturity level of the girl compared to you I feel won't be very good. People mature a lot from their late teens to their early 20s so saying that I think the relationship could be not that great. 16 is the legal age of consent where I am, and if you were here I would still say no because of the maturity difference. I dated a girl who had just finished high school while I had just finished my first year of college, and I remember I had a hard time relating to them just from that.
With that said, if she's totally hot I say go for it.
Not going to get into the right or wrong of the matter. Just want to tell you to avoid this situation at all costs because the legal repercussions are extremely unreasonable. You can get labeled a sex offender and have to live with that your entire life. If you have to be as mean as you possibly can to her.. whatever you do, just get her away from you. She can come back in a year if you'd like.
Being in relationships with underage people brings a host of problems to the table, the least of which is holding back your hormones (that's just a self control issue, though lack thereof can result in bad things). Share of transportation/lack of, money/mooching, the mess of the minor's parents and friends, and the inevitable high school drama from rumors and so on that screw everything up which minors can't seem to avoid. Girls that young are also extremely naive (not saying boys aren't) and will believe in anything. I'm a guy but I remember at that age how everyone was acting like their relationships were some happy-ending faerie tale - that's why most high school relationships implode before they graduate; Teenagers are simply irrational when it comes to their hormones (I know I was).
In all likeliness, no matter how you let her down, she's probably going to overreact, think it's the end of the world, and if she's gets really dramatic, threaten to never get married or have kids because she's convinced you're the one for her. BUT, she'll get over it. So, just do what you feel you need to do. The truth hurts and sometimes there's no easy way around it, and it's better to just lay it out in front of them. Straight forward is ftw. If you ignore her it's a gamble because some people are too persistent for their own good and it might even encourage them for whatever bizarre reason.
Also I agree with Snoop - Under 18 anywhere = NO.
Now if I could get all this through my best friend's head who's dating a 16 year old when he's 21...
Legally you would probably be fine (at least I know this in my state) but if this girl is pressing on you that much with out some kind of relationship before hand there is a good chance she just wants to give you a Bj so you'll buy her friends booze or some other artificial reason. I'm 16 and it is really kind of sad but I know a lot of girls who do that.
I've had experience with this situation, where I was 19 and the girl was 15. Very scary stuff I'd say, but she was a lot smarter and mature for her age.
If not for her being smart and mature, I would have said no way this is going to work because like i said, scary. It is important that you both know what you are dealing with. You seem hesitant to do anything with the girl, but since you are reaching for advice, it shows that you do want something to do with her. I understand that as I was in this situation before. Just make a decision that is right for both you and the girl. And don't forget about her parents too.
A lot of people say it sounds like trouble, but if she is responsible and mature then it's a different story. If anything, she could be a friend you can get to know. She also must understand where you are coming from.
I am now 23 and with the same girl who is 19 now. I've had no regrets or any doubts as i took actions responsibly.
Also just to note, 17 is still a young age. The mind is still growing and her experiences are possibly less then yours. It could be a simple fling or phase and her growing up can change her interests in you. So just get to know her first.
I was 24 when I started dating my (now) wife who was 18 at the time. I waited until she was 18 to hang out with her.
We dated for 3 years before getting married. Had to make sure she had her crap togeather.
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Out of the blackness and stench of the engulfing swamp emerged a shimmering figure. Only the splattered armor and ichor-stained sword hinted at the unfathomable evil the knight had just laid waste.
The age of consent in Washington is 16.
It is also illegal to engage in sexual acts with someone younger than 18 under three different sets of circumstances, enumerated in RCW 9A.44.096. Foster parents with their foster children; school teachers and school administration employees over their students; The third set of circumstances require all of the following situations occur in tandem: The older person is 60 months or more older than the 16- or 17-year-old, the person is in a significant relationship as defined, and such older person abuses the relationship to have sexual contact.
There are also three exceptions for people close in age.
RCW 9A.44.079 "A person is guilty of rape of a child in the third degree when the person has sexual intercourse with another who is at least fourteen years old but less than sixteen years old and not married to the perpetrator and the perpetrator is at least forty-eight months older than the victim. Rape of a child in the third degree is a class C felony."
RCW 9A.44.076 "A person is guilty of rape of a child in the second degree when the person has sexual intercourse with another who is at least twelve years old but less than fourteen years old and not married to the perpetrator and the perpetrator is at least thirty-six months older than the victim. Rape of a child in the second degree is a class A felony."
RCW 9A.44.073 "A person is guilty of rape of a child in the first degree when the person has sexual intercourse with another who is less than twelve years old and not married to the perpetrator and the perpetrator is at least twenty-four months older than the victim. Rape of a child in the first degree is a class A felony."
Several have reported that the immoral communication with a minor statute exists and places the age of consent at 18 due to the inability to "communicate" to 16- and 17-year-olds about sexual activity. These reports have been alarming in nature, however they are completely anecdotal, and perhaps even urban legend. The Washington Court of Appeals, Division 1 decided in the case of State v. Danforth, 56 Wn. App. 133, 782 P.2d 1091 (1989) that such communication has to be for the purposes of committing an illegal act under RCW Chapter 9.68A. Danforth's conviction was overturned by that ruling. However, the Washington Supreme Court in the case of State v. McNallie, 120 Wn.2d 925, 846 P.2d 1358 (1993) overturned the scope of the Danforth ruling (though not the result; Danforth would have still had his conviction overturned under the McNallie standard), applying the communication statute to encompass all sexual misconduct with a minor, not just those under RCW Chapter 9.68A, which deal mostly with illegal child pornography and prostitution. Due to these cases, it is clear that communications with 16- and 17-year-olds just for general sexual activity is legal, as long as such conduct discussed is not about illegal conduct or would be illegal in real life (such as the teacher/student circumstance, the foster parent/foster child circumstance, the significant relationship abuse circumstance, or asking for illegal pictures or attempting to bring such younger persons into prostitution).
From what I understand (its 4:30 in the morning, I'm not posiive I'm reading this right), she is 17 and a few months old, you are 23 plus a few months old. the difference is greater than 60. so stay away because jail is bad.
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I say run away. not only because she is 17 and you are 23 but because why can't you get a girl your own age? I mean you should be mostly done with collage, why date a high school girl who can't go to the bar. Not saying you are but when i see 21+ people dating under age girls, the only thing i think is "looser". I am sure some people get that impression also. go for the girls you can at least take to the bar.
To reiterate, not attacking the OP. Not Flaming him, just telling him another point of view.
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I am speaking from experience here and its not worth it.
I dated a 16/17 year old girl while I was 19/20 (our birthdays happened during the course of the relationship) for about 3 months. The age difference didn't bother us, but when it came down to it, it made the difference. She may have seemed mature to me, but she was really just like every other high school girl, not knowing what she wants and changing her mind about it all the time. Our relationship was going just fine until one day she just stopped liking me and bam, it was done. I hadn't done anything wrong really, but it was done.
Also, there are really 2 reasons to start a relationship: 1) to have a lasting relationship and 2) to have some fun. 1) will not work. She is 17, she has NO idea what she wants and while it may be good for awhile, her wants will change and you will be left out in the cold. 2) very BAD idea here. Looking for a physical based relationship with a minor is a VERY bad idea. Just find someone your own age, or wait till she is 18 if you guys want to mess around a bit.
Hope this helps.
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Then you should be friends because 17 year old girls make great friends for gay guys, think of all that shopping and conversations about boys you can have. P:
After a year you can always magically ungay yourself, most people believe sexuality is fluid anyway.
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Just because it isn't illegal in Washington, it doesn't mean you should go for it. Even though maybe you wouldn't break the law, would you be ready to deal with her angry parents?
I'd say if you want a short term relationship, go for a girl that's as old as you (or at least closer). If you want a long-term one, then you can wait as long as it takes for you to think that it is worth it and have no doubts (like you obviously have now.)
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Your young but she is younger and plenty of guys her age.
Like someone said you might have to be rude or a jerk but it beats getting stuck in something that you will regret.
on top of that she is 17. she doesn't know what she wants. this is called infatuation. just remember there were a group of teenagers that just recently slept with a bunch of guys to get pregnant.
for some reason girls think it is hip to walk around with a baby. (thanks to our so called pop stars).
i don't think you want a lifetime commitment out of that.
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If the problem is the whole "stat rape causes me to get prison raped" situation, how about, go ahead and date her, but DON'T GET HER NAKED. Tempting as it may be, wait a damn year.
This made me actually laugh out loud.
And we have found that it is legal. Why was she hanging around a college enough to meet you? Was she lying in wait or did she have a reason?
except that according to washington state law, the legal age of consent there is only 16
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@ Crack: If you can't wait a year, then you or she both have issues. yes, it's illegal in most states, regardless of how old the older person is. Under 18 = no.
If I were you, I'd just actively ignore her (if you stop feeding the troll, it'll go away. If she doesn't, it's time to really avoid her at any cost) at worst, and wait about a year at best (but that's sort of useless, we all know what happens in-between waiting).
I like 4/4s for 7.
This. It wont work to wait, someone will get drunk, or weak, or whatever, and give in, and then sex will occur and you'll be left holding the sack.
Secondly: The Age of consent in washington state is 16, but... they have secondary laws that CAN, and HAVE been used to nail people engaging in such activities. Most states have these secondary laws that back up the age of consent, and more then a 2 year age difference will tend to get you nailed.
All in all: Go for it if you're suicidal. If its purely about the age, stay friends with her, eventually she'll get over you and end up as friends. *shrug* then you get to console the next dude who gives in and gets charged
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With that said, if she's totally hot I say go for it.
In all likeliness, no matter how you let her down, she's probably going to overreact, think it's the end of the world, and if she's gets really dramatic, threaten to never get married or have kids because she's convinced you're the one for her. BUT, she'll get over it. So, just do what you feel you need to do. The truth hurts and sometimes there's no easy way around it, and it's better to just lay it out in front of them. Straight forward is ftw. If you ignore her it's a gamble because some people are too persistent for their own good and it might even encourage them for whatever bizarre reason.
Also I agree with Snoop - Under 18 anywhere = NO.
Now if I could get all this through my best friend's head who's dating a 16 year old when he's 21...
(Also known as Xenphire)
The question you have to ask yourself is:
Is a physical relationship with her worth going to jail over?
I'm sure you'll come to the same answer that we all would.
Putting that aside..how old are you? Are you and the girl a similar maturity level? Do you have the same goals? Etc.
This thread is starting to get into the gutter...
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If not for her being smart and mature, I would have said no way this is going to work because like i said, scary. It is important that you both know what you are dealing with. You seem hesitant to do anything with the girl, but since you are reaching for advice, it shows that you do want something to do with her. I understand that as I was in this situation before. Just make a decision that is right for both you and the girl. And don't forget about her parents too.
A lot of people say it sounds like trouble, but if she is responsible and mature then it's a different story. If anything, she could be a friend you can get to know. She also must understand where you are coming from.
I am now 23 and with the same girl who is 19 now. I've had no regrets or any doubts as i took actions responsibly.
Also just to note, 17 is still a young age. The mind is still growing and her experiences are possibly less then yours. It could be a simple fling or phase and her growing up can change her interests in you. So just get to know her first.
Hope that helped.
We dated for 3 years before getting married. Had to make sure she had her crap togeather.
From what I understand (its 4:30 in the morning, I'm not posiive I'm reading this right), she is 17 and a few months old, you are 23 plus a few months old. the difference is greater than 60. so stay away because jail is bad.
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Age is just a number, you know. If she's mature and you like her, date her. Sheesh.
You cannot possibly say that she does not know what she wants when you don't know her and are NOT her.
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To reiterate, not attacking the OP. Not Flaming him, just telling him another point of view.
I dated a 16/17 year old girl while I was 19/20 (our birthdays happened during the course of the relationship) for about 3 months. The age difference didn't bother us, but when it came down to it, it made the difference. She may have seemed mature to me, but she was really just like every other high school girl, not knowing what she wants and changing her mind about it all the time. Our relationship was going just fine until one day she just stopped liking me and bam, it was done. I hadn't done anything wrong really, but it was done.
Also, there are really 2 reasons to start a relationship: 1) to have a lasting relationship and 2) to have some fun. 1) will not work. She is 17, she has NO idea what she wants and while it may be good for awhile, her wants will change and you will be left out in the cold. 2) very BAD idea here. Looking for a physical based relationship with a minor is a VERY bad idea. Just find someone your own age, or wait till she is 18 if you guys want to mess around a bit.
Hope this helps.
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Just because it isn't illegal in Washington, it doesn't mean you should go for it. Even though maybe you wouldn't break the law, would you be ready to deal with her angry parents?
I'd say if you want a short term relationship, go for a girl that's as old as you (or at least closer). If you want a long-term one, then you can wait as long as it takes for you to think that it is worth it and have no doubts (like you obviously have now.)
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