I was thinking... and since I really don't want to grow any more closer to her as her friend (I can't think about her as a friend, especially with our shared past... and if I'd see her with another guy, I would go berserk) I'd ask her to stop texting, messaging and meeting me. It's just too early for her to commit for a serious relationship. But honestly, deep down in my heart... I want this girl. But it's obvious that I met her too early. I'd write her a letter about my feelings and thoughts and tell her to contact me like 8 years later. If we're both single at the time, I think we could give it another try. I firmly believe that people can reconnect and share feelings once again.
What do you think?
I think you should give it some time. I know these feelings very well, wanting to be with that one person.. even though she destroyed your trust.
However, these feelings fade with time, and one day your heart will be loose enough to be happy with somebody else. And once that happens, you will finally understand why the two of you were never meant to be. You might never forget her, but at least you will stop to need her.
Good luck, my friend.
I decided that it would be best for me to move on to someone else. If she doesn't want to be with me, it's her loss. I'm a great guy, btw. Not perfect, but I treat my girls right and they love me for it. It's just this self-esteem, self-respect problem. But otherwise I'm fun to be around and I'm not screwing around.
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Originally posted by mondu_the_fat: One minute you're arguing about meatlof and the next thing you know someone's sex life is being dredged up.
My playgroup: four people total.
We use the Legacy B&R list.
My meta consists of combo, control and some aggro / midrange decks.
My group uses proxies, so budget is not an issue. Because of this, things can get out of hand.
from the perspective of a 17 year old...(whose gf is 23)
Alcohol was involved...no sex was involved from what i saw in the OP
Thats hardly cheating. If you REALLY love her, and think you can still trust her yeah taking her back was right, but if you don't think you can trust her after it then the relationship will fail anyway.
EDIT: Didn't read whole thread and it's ended well my 2 cents anyway hope things work out with other women man.
Right now the situation is like this (if it's true that she loves me):
We still love each other. We're not together anymore, but we wanted to stay friends (because we're so close) so we don't lose each other forever. There's still something, she just doesn't want to commit to a serious relationship yet. I mean come on... she is 17. Actually, she wants to be with me but... something is holding her back. She doesn't want to hurt my feelings again.
Besides, we live in different cities. I am leaving the city where I've been living for the last 4 years (because of my studies) in about 2 months. She is still in high school and she is planning to go college in Austria. I wont see her for years... and if she decides to stay abroad, well, that's the end of that.
Yes, I want to move on. But in the back of my head I'm still hoping to be with her again years later, if she comes back. I won't stop my life because of her. I believe that people can reconnect years later and somehow your feelings can be rekindled again.
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Originally posted by mondu_the_fat: One minute you're arguing about meatlof and the next thing you know someone's sex life is being dredged up.
My playgroup: four people total.
We use the Legacy B&R list.
My meta consists of combo, control and some aggro / midrange decks.
My group uses proxies, so budget is not an issue. Because of this, things can get out of hand.
I'm glad to hear you want to move on and aren't in a relationship with this girl anymore.
Please, whatever you do, remember that you are a young man. Chances are if you pulled one girl, you can pull ten. So get to it.
Edit: Forgot to mention, once a cheater, always a cheater. Be careful if you decide to be with her later.
After a month, I decided to stay friends with her. Boy, that was a great decision. Since through her, I met a couple of other girls I can hang out with
No, I'm not going to be with her ever again. Because I realized that she is not someone I should be considering as true girlfriend material. Once I realized and accepted that, it was easier to let go. So, I'm happy now. Because, before she told me that she would not cheat on her boyfriends because someone cheated on her and she knows how it feels - but she did it anyway. This leads me to believe that if she didn't stay true to this once, she'll do it again. I was just blinded by my feelings. Everything is so crystal clear now.
I was thinking about the cheating thing, and I think you're right. Because, for example, let's take ME: I would never, ever, ever even consider cheating on my girlfriend. There was one girl in Russia I was attracted to, but we started off so good we became really good friends.
And after all of this, I'm really happy about myself. I regained my dignity, self respect and realized that I stayed true to myself and have moral integrity.
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Originally posted by mondu_the_fat: One minute you're arguing about meatlof and the next thing you know someone's sex life is being dredged up.
My playgroup: four people total.
We use the Legacy B&R list.
My meta consists of combo, control and some aggro / midrange decks.
My group uses proxies, so budget is not an issue. Because of this, things can get out of hand.
I'm happy to hear that you've sorted things out, with her and yourself. Nothing can be as emotionally draining as the opposite sex. Once you get over that initial hump, and realize that maybe you can be happy without this person, that's when everything comes into perspective.
And your right. If you really cared for someone, would you put their feelings at stake, just so you could have a little bit of fun? Nobody would, not if they really cared about the other person.
In the end, all that really matters is that you left with your dignity and self respect, as you said. You didn't play the fool, as so many of us has done before.
At the very least, you've learned something. Maybe about yourself, maybe about the opposite sex. Whatever it is, use it in your future relationships. And remember, never compromise your feelings for someone else's.
One hookup doesn't equal a serious relationship in my mind.
o_o
Uh...What country are you from? In the good ol' US of A, when you plug a chick, in her mind, its because you really effin like her. And not like a friend kinda thing. I've been called hubby after things like that- I'm surprised she didn't think you used her.
I thought you meant real cheating before I read the thread. Some drunken kissing...who cares. She's young and curious probably. Just let her know that there are ways to explore her curiosity...together
Im gonna agree with the guy who posted before you- If shes a young girl just curious and exploring her options, she is definitely going to do it again. Just because you sincerely feel bad about something doesn't mean you wont do it again.
As someone said before, 70% of girls wont even find themselves in that situation. Why stress if you don't have to?
If she is as you say, curious, she is going to be far from done with experimenting- And in her exploration she is more than likely to tread over the line knowledgeably again. If she comes off as more level headed when it comes to relationships, then it could be easily dismissed as an accident. But otherwise....
It's understandable blue control players would be shocked and in denial at the notion of this card, since their decks have been dominating multiple formats for an eternity yet they've curiously never once had to deal with any counter-hosers that weren't ineffectual, narrow CRAP.
My advice: Stay in contact through casual communication, don't burn any bridges, and maybe one day you'll get back together. At the worst, you two end up as life long friends.
As a healthy person of heart I would say it's the kind, loving, caring thing to do, but I would never forget {is it wise idk, is it the right thing to do if you love her.........duh} it happened. If choose to forgive her {take the red pill} then you have no right what-so-ever to hold that PAST situation against her. Forgiving is a release of the past, and by releasing then you're telling yourself that the future still could have meaning.
If you choose not to forgive her {the blue pill} then you're under the understanding that the person you're with has complete respect, self-personal problems, and that you already know the same actions could be repeated in the future.
Now I will share my personal advise {S.M.} on the situation.
You're 23 year MAN dating a 17 preadult girl {more still of a immature child/teen}, and in that kinda of situation you really can't expect anything of less because their mindset is just that. Finding someone with a bit more mature and more of a women could really decrease your heartache.
Overall advise..........if you're a faithful caring man that tries his hardest to think, show, and respect the women that you're with to the best of your ability and she cheats.........there's only one option S.M. would do,
WRITE VOID ACROSS THE CHECK, TEAR IT OUT OF THE BOOK, AND reWRITE A NEW ONE!
I think you should give it some time. I know these feelings very well, wanting to be with that one person.. even though she destroyed your trust.
However, these feelings fade with time, and one day your heart will be loose enough to be happy with somebody else. And once that happens, you will finally understand why the two of you were never meant to be. You might never forget her, but at least you will stop to need her.
Good luck, my friend.
( 0.0 )
=O ((U/R)) O=
(")(")
I'm an AI making Magic cards.
http://www.staalmedia.nl/nexus/#generate
My playgroup: four people total.
We use the Legacy B&R list.
My meta consists of combo, control and some aggro / midrange decks.
My group uses proxies, so budget is not an issue. Because of this, things can get out of hand.
Alcohol was involved...no sex was involved from what i saw in the OP
Thats hardly cheating. If you REALLY love her, and think you can still trust her yeah taking her back was right, but if you don't think you can trust her after it then the relationship will fail anyway.
EDIT: Didn't read whole thread and it's ended well my 2 cents anyway hope things work out with other women man.
We still love each other. We're not together anymore, but we wanted to stay friends (because we're so close) so we don't lose each other forever. There's still something, she just doesn't want to commit to a serious relationship yet. I mean come on... she is 17. Actually, she wants to be with me but... something is holding her back. She doesn't want to hurt my feelings again.
Besides, we live in different cities. I am leaving the city where I've been living for the last 4 years (because of my studies) in about 2 months. She is still in high school and she is planning to go college in Austria. I wont see her for years... and if she decides to stay abroad, well, that's the end of that.
Yes, I want to move on. But in the back of my head I'm still hoping to be with her again years later, if she comes back. I won't stop my life because of her. I believe that people can reconnect years later and somehow your feelings can be rekindled again.
My playgroup: four people total.
We use the Legacy B&R list.
My meta consists of combo, control and some aggro / midrange decks.
My group uses proxies, so budget is not an issue. Because of this, things can get out of hand.
Please, whatever you do, remember that you are a young man. Chances are if you pulled one girl, you can pull ten. So get to it.
Edit: Forgot to mention, once a cheater, always a cheater. Be careful if you decide to be with her later.
After a month, I decided to stay friends with her. Boy, that was a great decision. Since through her, I met a couple of other girls I can hang out with
No, I'm not going to be with her ever again. Because I realized that she is not someone I should be considering as true girlfriend material. Once I realized and accepted that, it was easier to let go. So, I'm happy now. Because, before she told me that she would not cheat on her boyfriends because someone cheated on her and she knows how it feels - but she did it anyway. This leads me to believe that if she didn't stay true to this once, she'll do it again. I was just blinded by my feelings. Everything is so crystal clear now.
I was thinking about the cheating thing, and I think you're right. Because, for example, let's take ME: I would never, ever, ever even consider cheating on my girlfriend. There was one girl in Russia I was attracted to, but we started off so good we became really good friends.
And after all of this, I'm really happy about myself. I regained my dignity, self respect and realized that I stayed true to myself and have moral integrity.
My playgroup: four people total.
We use the Legacy B&R list.
My meta consists of combo, control and some aggro / midrange decks.
My group uses proxies, so budget is not an issue. Because of this, things can get out of hand.
And your right. If you really cared for someone, would you put their feelings at stake, just so you could have a little bit of fun? Nobody would, not if they really cared about the other person.
In the end, all that really matters is that you left with your dignity and self respect, as you said. You didn't play the fool, as so many of us has done before.
At the very least, you've learned something. Maybe about yourself, maybe about the opposite sex. Whatever it is, use it in your future relationships. And remember, never compromise your feelings for someone else's.
o_o
Uh...What country are you from? In the good ol' US of A, when you plug a chick, in her mind, its because you really effin like her. And not like a friend kinda thing. I've been called hubby after things like that- I'm surprised she didn't think you used her.
Im gonna agree with the guy who posted before you- If shes a young girl just curious and exploring her options, she is definitely going to do it again. Just because you sincerely feel bad about something doesn't mean you wont do it again.
As someone said before, 70% of girls wont even find themselves in that situation. Why stress if you don't have to?
If she is as you say, curious, she is going to be far from done with experimenting- And in her exploration she is more than likely to tread over the line knowledgeably again. If she comes off as more level headed when it comes to relationships, then it could be easily dismissed as an accident. But otherwise....
Also, alcohol does not make you do something you wouldn't do otherwise, it just makes it easier to do it.
Sometimes it's okay to forgive a person for cheating, depending on the circumstances.
I don't think that this is one of them. She will cheat again.
If you choose not to forgive her {the blue pill} then you're under the understanding that the person you're with has complete respect, self-personal problems, and that you already know the same actions could be repeated in the future.
Now I will share my personal advise {S.M.} on the situation.
You're 23 year MAN dating a 17 preadult girl {more still of a immature child/teen}, and in that kinda of situation you really can't expect anything of less because their mindset is just that. Finding someone with a bit more mature and more of a women could really decrease your heartache.
Overall advise..........if you're a faithful caring man that tries his hardest to think, show, and respect the women that you're with to the best of your ability and she cheats.........there's only one option S.M. would do,
WRITE VOID ACROSS THE CHECK, TEAR IT OUT OF THE BOOK, AND reWRITE A NEW ONE!