Do you consider a 14yr old with a 18 year old pedophilia? I am a bit skeptical about this statement.. A 12-year old? Probably yes.
Either way, in the majority of cases, when the 13+ girl is aware of what she is doing, I won't consider it pedophilia. Anyway, this is such a debatable question. In Brazil, there are laws that set the legal age for such pedophile cases, and it's 14 and below. But relationships between 13+ and 17-18years old should be considered 'normal'.
I won't go deeper into that because I am aware of many atrocities that take place into my country - especially in slums (Rio de Janeiro's). Still, I guess many girls and men know what they are doing - because the problem is with their mentality. Low education.
Ok then, Give me the reason why you think it's ok to be dating a minor?
Is it because you apparently "Love" each other?
She's too young to have experienced what love really is.
A.) Who are you to say what one can and cannot feel? B.) She has to experience it sometime, maybe, just maybe she does actually love me as much as I love her?
@guilan: Thank you. She understands what she's doing and understands full well that dating me is not normal. She doesn't care because she loves me. That's all I can really ask for right?
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Do you consider a 14yr old with a 18 year old pedophilia? I am a bit skeptical about this statement.. A 12-year old? Probably yes.
Either way, in the majority of cases, when the 13+ girl are aware of what she is doing, I won't consider it pedophilia. Anyway, this is such a debatable question. In Brazil, there are laws that set the legal age for such pedophile cases, and it's 12 and below. Relationships between 13+ and 17-18years old should be considered 'normal'.
I won't go deeper into that because I am aware of many atrocities that take place into my country - especially in slums (Rio de Janeiro's). Still, I guess many girls and men know what they are doing - because the problem is with their mentality. Low education.
It's VERY different in western countries.
In Australia it's considered pedophilia all the way up to being 18.
Recently there was a 27 year old female teacher who was dating a 17 year old grade 11 boy.
She got caught and is going to be sentenced for pedophilia just for dating/kissing/sending nude photos to him.
EDIT:
A.) Who are you to say what one can and cannot feel? B.) She has to experience it sometime, maybe, just maybe she does actually love me as much as I love her?
Most 14 year olds "Love" Robert patterson (or whatever his name is) from twilight and want to marry him.
I'm not saying you don't love her, I'm just saying she's not mature enough to know certain things.
There is a very big difference in your story and mine. Also the reason she is going to jail is because of the nude photos. I do not show her nude photos and she does not show me nude photos.
Now you are stereotyping. How do you know how mature she is? You've never met her. You can't just base it off of other 14 year old girls.
There is a very big difference in your story and mine. Also the reason she is going to jail is because of the nude photos. I do not show her nude photos and she does not show me nude photos.
Now you are stereotyping. How do you know how mature she is? You've never met her. You can't just base it off of other 14 year old girls.
I'm not trying to stereotype I'm just saying that 14 year olds don't know what love is.
That is a stereotype. Saying that everyone of a certain group, in this case 14 year olds, has some kind of quality or characteristic as a whole. You are saying that all 14 year olds don't know what love is.
Well it's "they're" not "there" but that's my point exactly. You are stereotyping. Have you met all 14 year olds? That's like me saying all Black people are lazy. That's not true. Maybe there are some but that doesn't mean they all are. Do you see what I mean?
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I didn't say anything like that.
Anyway this is starting to feel like a flame war so i'm going to stop and not come back to this thread.
All I will say is that it will not last.
Good luck.
Do you consider a 14yr old with a 18 year old pedophilia? I am a bit skeptical about this statement.. A 12-year old? Probably yes.
It's really tricky. In my opinion, an 17-18 year old senior in high school could easily have a relationship with a 15 year old sophomore. These types of pairings happen all the time.
We all know that in america, two 18 year olds can be together, and have sex. No big deal. Could an 18 year old woman and a 17 year old male have sex? It would technically be against the law; she could go to jail for statutory rape as a sex offender.
I believe most people with common sense would find a 17 year old and an 18 year old dating to be fine, but the minor/adult laws of consent have to draw the line somewhere because they are there to protect all minors.
If I remember correctly, when I was 18, I dated three different people, a 15, 16 and 21 year old, respectively. In every case their parents were cool with it, they liked me, and I look back on each relationship as a good experience, even if they weren't long ones. To get down to specifics, the 21 year old was honestly a little too mature for me at the time. The 15 year old was actually very intelligent and mature, but she wasn't that experienced in life. I guess to be more specific, even though she showed maturity and intelligence, she lacked perspective. The 16 year old was by far the most immature. That one didn't last very long, but it was fun, and we were good to eachother while it lasted.
Regardless of what MTGSalvation's members say, it sounds like you are determined to let this relationship of yours play itself out. In that case, I suggest you look long and hard at the laws of your state. Communicate with the mother and try to talk with the father. Let your intentions be known to him. But, seriously, do yourself a favor and forget about sex. It might sound easy now, but if you really fall in love with her, and this goes on for like two more years, it's not going to be easy.
One other thing. You brought up a situation where you were in the house without any parental supervision, and the father got angry with you. If I were you, I would avoid that type of situation. If you're serious about this, respect the father enough to avoid situations like these. If you realize that there are no parents, then simply get up and leave.
You're basically going to be tightrope walking your way through this for potentially 4 years, so get used to being the chivalrous one with good intentions, for that teenagers sake, if not your own.
The police officer who will arrest you is 36, so (18+7) he shouldn't date anyone under 25.
The judge who convicts you is 52, so (26+7) he shouldn't date anyone under 33.
The counselor who your girlfriend will see eventually is 64, so (32+7) anyone under 39 is too young for him.
I would like to meet you in person, one day. Laughed for so long at this...
@OP: Look dude. I get the scenario. You're both in high school, the same one in fact, and as a result you think it's ok. She's a nice girl, you like her a lot, everyone but the dad is cool with it (and what dad really is ok with his 14 year old daughter dating?), but the fact is, you're 18.
I've known a lot of people to get arrested for statutory from my school, it's not pretty.
But let's say you don't have sex, you just have a healthy relationship until she's legal. Here's the problem. She's going to change, a lot, and you may not like her much anymore.
If you can promise to yourself that you won't have a physical relationship with her, then I see no reason to break it off. But I warn you now, when she is your age, and likely much sooner, she will be an entirely different person than she is now. You will save yourself much trouble ending it now.
As somebody else suggested, however, why not just wait until she's older and see if you still like her? Where's she going? Shes a freshman in school, she'll still be there in a few years, you know? Take your time, stay friends with her.....but that's about all i'd do, in your situation.
If you wanna talk, feel free to PM me; I PM'ed you with contact info.
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Even presuming the girl was highly intelligent, you're still running into a stonewall on asynchonistic development. It basically means she may have the capacity to think like someone above her age group, but she can also take actions below her level. These people are rare, and are about 20% of the population even when taken into account all the different types of giftedness.
In another time period, this relationship would be very different, however this was more than a century or two ago. Today's society has basically dubbed anyone under 18 years of age a child, and anyone over 18 without a job(or with a supposed "starter job") without a completed post secondary education as an adolescent. You're frankly going to be still in some old timers' eye as a "kid" until your mid 30's. So in part, society has not only regressed age dimensions as others have grown older, but we have also had another more dire issue that popped up during the conservative revolution.
The conservative revolution triggered a "get tough on crime" movement that translates into zero tolerance policies, standardized sentencing, and so on. This translates to people like you that get into these situations by crossing "a line" and will put you into the same bracket as a 40 year old rapist with 20-30 year old victims.
The other trend in society is what I call the "super kid movement" and "protect my kid at all costs" movement. These two are different, but basically the same thing. The "super kid movement" is where everyone's kid is the next Michael Jordan or Albert Einstein, so the parents buy up all the products and put emphasis on performance and try to manage their children with super schedules. The other half of this goes with the "get tough on crime" movement with the conservative revolution thinking that if we as a society shelter children from bad decisions all their life, we'll make them better people.
So where does this leave you as a political underclass? Basically, you're a "man child" to the legal and social world. In the social world when it's convenient for those in the establishment, you're a child. When it is convenient for the establishment, you're an adult. In this instance of utility you are an "adult" with a "child" in a society with zero tolerance rules sets to play by. You misstep, you lose for the rest of your life.
If the current college loan programs coupled with loan sharks and a depressed economy has proven; society does not have your age group's best intentions at heart. Whenever it is convenient, people will sell you out so they themselves can profit for the sake of feeling good.
Statutory rape also exists for a reason, to protect the young. While we can debate the age groups, many societies view 14 is too young and honestly from a biological and social angle it is. Presuming she was sexually maturing at age 10, which is fairly very early, she's only had 4 years to deal with her sexuality coupled with putting away her Barbie dolls, if she hasn't yet. I'll return back to the concept of asynchronistic (not occurring at the same time) development. This means she can think and act between her current chronological age and up or down. As a 14 year old, the lows are low and the highs aren't that high for her mental age.
Frankly, date women over the age of 18. People don't tend to start aging until 26, so you still have the youthful effects of a matured body to deal with sexually for a long time. Mentally and emotionally a high functioning individual will continue to be in effect high functioning for the rest of their life. Someone over the age of 18 that's very mentally developed will have life experience too, economic and social freedoms, coupled with a fully developed female body.
Then there is her best interest under these problems. Her father is hyper vigilant, and her mother is probably on edge. Other people will be viewing her to wait for her or you to fail in the relationship. It's a death watch. If she is to fail, doesn't she have a right to have a lower profile to fail under than a relationship like this?
In short, lose the kid girlfriend and get a woman. If you're going off to college, then well, it's not going to work long term. Relationships work with proximity, and long distance relationships take a level of maturity and patience that neither of you probably have in spades yet. Give her space to grow as a person, as she deserves that without social repercussions. You also deserve better.
To answer your question, no you are not a bad guy. Despite the jokes on pedophilia, I don't think an 18 year old guy dating a 14 year old girl counts as one even if sex was involved (which in your case does not) unless parents press charges.
I read the entire thread about people saying it's wrong or it's right etc. I honestly don't know you or your girlfriend so I really can't judge you.
However I can give some of my thoughts and opinions on the issue. Not really as advice or anything but I hope it can guide you in making a decision.
She's 14 and you're legally an adult. Now girls usually are 2 years more mature than guys so she has the maturity of a 16 year old guy. However, as you said, her dad doesn't like it. I'm assuming her dad knows you for a long time now since the dad is the same dad as your best friend's. I really don't know why he doesnt like it (the specific reasons) but if I were the dad I wouldn't like it either.
Not that you're a bad influence or anything but the problem is the age difference. As many have posted, she's still finding herself, maturing more. You could have a big impact on her blooming into a young adult. If you decided to date her in 2011-2012 (she's 16, you're 20), I probably wouldn't see a problem as she's probably more grown up now. Maybe her dad wouldn't too.
Right now, I think her dad is being protective and preventing anything awful while she's still maturing. Honestly though, I think her dad should be more protective of her dating guys her age (since at that age guys only want to get into her pants like you experienced).
Ok this is getting long... Now if you asked for advice before you started dating maybe it this all been avoided but you decided to ask 5 months into the relationship.
Don't let other people tell you to end the relationship (unless the law is involved). You two love each other and if you break up now or soon, you'll break her heart and probably have a negative impact when she reaches adulthood. Not only that but you may have problems with your best friend because of a break-up. Same goes if you decide to continue the relationship, be careful. Anything regretful happens and the same stuff I've mentioned above may happen.
Good luck on whatever course of action you decide. Remember that your actions can have a profound effect on your girlfriend's maturity but also on your relationship with your best friend.
Thank you very much all of you on this page. I had people freaking out at me earlier. Some of you disagree with it, which is ok, at least you have given informative respective reasoning. I'm going to think long and hard about this.
Look blue ghost i know you have made your decision already but personally i dont understand why you like your relationship with that girl. She is a minor to you and that brings many problems. Let me name a few, she is immature mentally and somatically compared to you, you have to deal with her parents, you cant spend a lot of time with her, you cant have sex, you have to deal with people that call you pedophile, in the end you cant enjoy your relationship the way you want. Probably your answer is going to be ''i love her'' but i think you should reconsider some things. If you let your feelings for this girl alone to guide you, you will probably make mistakes in the future. When it comes to these kind of decisions always try to think clearly with you mind and dont let your emotions alone guide you. Personally i believe it would be better for YOU to break up with her than having a relationship with problems, it is your call though...
I definitely understand what you're saying about letting my feelings guide me, a mistake I make all too often. I do get to spend a lot of time with her though. It just sucks.....cause when we are alone, no one to look at us funny, or give some snarky comment, things are great, and it is the kind of relationship I want.
You're 18, so... (9+7) ...you should stop at dating 16 year olds. This is illegal maybe somewhere sometimes, but it's socially acceptable and you are probably the same as a 16 year old more or less.
This formula is pretty solid for finding what won't be too awkward or socially acceptable. Unlike most of my magic math, I did not come up with it. It is pretty widely used.
For example, I am 24, so... (12+7) ...19 should be my minimum. That is perfect. I could never see dating younger than a sophomore in college.
The police officer who will arrest you is 36, so (18+7) he shouldn't date anyone under 25.
The judge who convicts you is 52, so (26+7) he shouldn't date anyone under 33.
The counselor who your girlfriend will see eventually is 64, so (32+7) anyone under 39 is too young for him.
Plug in any age (it gets a little weird under puberty and above 70) but it more or less is a great litmus test to see if you will be at a different point in your life than the other person.
In your case, you are a young man dating a child. This is pretty horrid. Let's use an example that isn't so icky.
My cousin was dating a guy who was 21 when she was 36, under the age test. He was legal, but he wasn't at all thinking about things like a life plan, starting a family, finding a good house or launching a career... he thought like a 21 year old and she didn't.
The girl you are dating is just going through puberty. She is just beginning to learn all sorts of social skill sets and her brain is still developing. She might be able to hold up a conversation, but being intelligent doesn't equal emotional maturity.
You could seriously damage this girl's psyche. Stay away from her.
--
I do want to add that no, you are not a bad guy. I don't think you would do this if you thought it was potentially harmful to her. But still, people are defined by their actions, and good people can do a lot of harm without meaning to.
Then she should be able to understand when you break it to her. Avoid even the appearance of wrongdoing. Nobody is going to ask you whether you had sex with her, they are going to assume it is so, because you were widely known as "dating" her.
You're not out of the woods yet even if you do, because if she's badly damaged enough by the breakup, she will falsely accuse you of touching her. Then you get to pay for a lawyer, etc. Have fun with that.
The world brings you enough troubles, don't go knocking on its door to get more.
Yes, this is wrong. I don't know how your state works, but you having sex with your girlfriend would be considered statutory rape in my state and every state that I can think of.
14 year-olds are kids and are not fully developed. Not cool.
well its agood thing we aren't having sex then eh?
Yes, the lack of sex is preventing you from being considered a child molestor, so that's a good thing. You're still dating the child though, so that's an issue.
I have a friend who, when he was 18, he dated a 14 year old. They are married now. But that was about 12 years ago. Anyways, to most people, it would be disgusting and even if you do not engage in sexual activities, people are still going to think that. You have to be willing to take the criticisms of others if you are going to persue this. If you think you can handle it, then go ahead.
As far as I am concerned, if it makes you happy, go ahead and date. Just know your boundaries and keep them there.
Pedophilia (or paedophilia) is a psychological disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a sexual preference for prepubescent children. According to the World Health Organization, 16 and 17-year-old adolescents qualify if they have a persistent or predominant sexual preference for prepubescent children at least five years younger than them.
(emphasis mine) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia
Everyone who said this relationship qualifies as pedophilia needs to do a little more research. Fourteen year olds are not prepubescent.
Re: Point two -- legality. OP is from Maine. Maine has a nice little law some people refer to as a Romeo and Juliet law. The general age of consent is 16. But, people 14 or 15 years of age can consent to sex with people less than five years older than themselves. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#Maine) Since OP's girlfriend is 14, and OP is only four years older, it's perfectly legal for them to have sex. It's not pedophilia, and it's not rape. This is kind of a moot point anyway, since OP says they aren't having sex. But you guys seem to keep pushing this point, so I thought it was worth refuting.
Either way, in the majority of cases, when the 13+ girl is aware of what she is doing, I won't consider it pedophilia. Anyway, this is such a debatable question. In Brazil, there are laws that set the legal age for such pedophile cases, and it's 14 and below. But relationships between 13+ and 17-18years old should be considered 'normal'.
I won't go deeper into that because I am aware of many atrocities that take place into my country - especially in slums (Rio de Janeiro's). Still, I guess many girls and men know what they are doing - because the problem is with their mentality. Low education.
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Pourquoi?
A.) Who are you to say what one can and cannot feel? B.) She has to experience it sometime, maybe, just maybe she does actually love me as much as I love her?
@guilan: Thank you. She understands what she's doing and understands full well that dating me is not normal. She doesn't care because she loves me. That's all I can really ask for right?
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It's VERY different in western countries.
In Australia it's considered pedophilia all the way up to being 18.
Recently there was a 27 year old female teacher who was dating a 17 year old grade 11 boy.
She got caught and is going to be sentenced for pedophilia just for dating/kissing/sending nude photos to him.
EDIT:
Most 14 year olds "Love" Robert patterson (or whatever his name is) from twilight and want to marry him.
I'm not saying you don't love her, I'm just saying she's not mature enough to know certain things.
LOL
Now you are stereotyping. How do you know how mature she is? You've never met her. You can't just base it off of other 14 year old girls.
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I'm not trying to stereotype I'm just saying that 14 year olds don't know what love is.
LOL
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Yes, I am saying that.
There not mature enough.
LOL
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I didn't say anything like that.
Anyway this is starting to feel like a flame war so i'm going to stop and not come back to this thread.
All I will say is that it will not last.
Good luck.
LOL
It's really tricky. In my opinion, an 17-18 year old senior in high school could easily have a relationship with a 15 year old sophomore. These types of pairings happen all the time.
We all know that in america, two 18 year olds can be together, and have sex. No big deal. Could an 18 year old woman and a 17 year old male have sex? It would technically be against the law; she could go to jail for statutory rape as a sex offender.
I believe most people with common sense would find a 17 year old and an 18 year old dating to be fine, but the minor/adult laws of consent have to draw the line somewhere because they are there to protect all minors.
If I remember correctly, when I was 18, I dated three different people, a 15, 16 and 21 year old, respectively. In every case their parents were cool with it, they liked me, and I look back on each relationship as a good experience, even if they weren't long ones. To get down to specifics, the 21 year old was honestly a little too mature for me at the time. The 15 year old was actually very intelligent and mature, but she wasn't that experienced in life. I guess to be more specific, even though she showed maturity and intelligence, she lacked perspective. The 16 year old was by far the most immature. That one didn't last very long, but it was fun, and we were good to eachother while it lasted.
Regardless of what MTGSalvation's members say, it sounds like you are determined to let this relationship of yours play itself out. In that case, I suggest you look long and hard at the laws of your state. Communicate with the mother and try to talk with the father. Let your intentions be known to him. But, seriously, do yourself a favor and forget about sex. It might sound easy now, but if you really fall in love with her, and this goes on for like two more years, it's not going to be easy.
One other thing. You brought up a situation where you were in the house without any parental supervision, and the father got angry with you. If I were you, I would avoid that type of situation. If you're serious about this, respect the father enough to avoid situations like these. If you realize that there are no parents, then simply get up and leave.
You're basically going to be tightrope walking your way through this for potentially 4 years, so get used to being the chivalrous one with good intentions, for that teenagers sake, if not your own.
I would like to meet you in person, one day. Laughed for so long at this...
@OP: Look dude. I get the scenario. You're both in high school, the same one in fact, and as a result you think it's ok. She's a nice girl, you like her a lot, everyone but the dad is cool with it (and what dad really is ok with his 14 year old daughter dating?), but the fact is, you're 18.
I've known a lot of people to get arrested for statutory from my school, it's not pretty.
But let's say you don't have sex, you just have a healthy relationship until she's legal. Here's the problem. She's going to change, a lot, and you may not like her much anymore.
If you can promise to yourself that you won't have a physical relationship with her, then I see no reason to break it off. But I warn you now, when she is your age, and likely much sooner, she will be an entirely different person than she is now. You will save yourself much trouble ending it now.
As somebody else suggested, however, why not just wait until she's older and see if you still like her? Where's she going? Shes a freshman in school, she'll still be there in a few years, you know? Take your time, stay friends with her.....but that's about all i'd do, in your situation.
If you wanna talk, feel free to PM me; I PM'ed you with contact info.
In another time period, this relationship would be very different, however this was more than a century or two ago. Today's society has basically dubbed anyone under 18 years of age a child, and anyone over 18 without a job(or with a supposed "starter job") without a completed post secondary education as an adolescent. You're frankly going to be still in some old timers' eye as a "kid" until your mid 30's. So in part, society has not only regressed age dimensions as others have grown older, but we have also had another more dire issue that popped up during the conservative revolution.
The conservative revolution triggered a "get tough on crime" movement that translates into zero tolerance policies, standardized sentencing, and so on. This translates to people like you that get into these situations by crossing "a line" and will put you into the same bracket as a 40 year old rapist with 20-30 year old victims.
The other trend in society is what I call the "super kid movement" and "protect my kid at all costs" movement. These two are different, but basically the same thing. The "super kid movement" is where everyone's kid is the next Michael Jordan or Albert Einstein, so the parents buy up all the products and put emphasis on performance and try to manage their children with super schedules. The other half of this goes with the "get tough on crime" movement with the conservative revolution thinking that if we as a society shelter children from bad decisions all their life, we'll make them better people.
So where does this leave you as a political underclass? Basically, you're a "man child" to the legal and social world. In the social world when it's convenient for those in the establishment, you're a child. When it is convenient for the establishment, you're an adult. In this instance of utility you are an "adult" with a "child" in a society with zero tolerance rules sets to play by. You misstep, you lose for the rest of your life.
If the current college loan programs coupled with loan sharks and a depressed economy has proven; society does not have your age group's best intentions at heart. Whenever it is convenient, people will sell you out so they themselves can profit for the sake of feeling good.
Statutory rape also exists for a reason, to protect the young. While we can debate the age groups, many societies view 14 is too young and honestly from a biological and social angle it is. Presuming she was sexually maturing at age 10, which is fairly very early, she's only had 4 years to deal with her sexuality coupled with putting away her Barbie dolls, if she hasn't yet. I'll return back to the concept of asynchronistic (not occurring at the same time) development. This means she can think and act between her current chronological age and up or down. As a 14 year old, the lows are low and the highs aren't that high for her mental age.
Frankly, date women over the age of 18. People don't tend to start aging until 26, so you still have the youthful effects of a matured body to deal with sexually for a long time. Mentally and emotionally a high functioning individual will continue to be in effect high functioning for the rest of their life. Someone over the age of 18 that's very mentally developed will have life experience too, economic and social freedoms, coupled with a fully developed female body.
Then there is her best interest under these problems. Her father is hyper vigilant, and her mother is probably on edge. Other people will be viewing her to wait for her or you to fail in the relationship. It's a death watch. If she is to fail, doesn't she have a right to have a lower profile to fail under than a relationship like this?
In short, lose the kid girlfriend and get a woman. If you're going off to college, then well, it's not going to work long term. Relationships work with proximity, and long distance relationships take a level of maturity and patience that neither of you probably have in spades yet. Give her space to grow as a person, as she deserves that without social repercussions. You also deserve better.
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Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
To answer your question, no you are not a bad guy. Despite the jokes on pedophilia, I don't think an 18 year old guy dating a 14 year old girl counts as one even if sex was involved (which in your case does not) unless parents press charges.
I read the entire thread about people saying it's wrong or it's right etc. I honestly don't know you or your girlfriend so I really can't judge you.
However I can give some of my thoughts and opinions on the issue. Not really as advice or anything but I hope it can guide you in making a decision.
She's 14 and you're legally an adult. Now girls usually are 2 years more mature than guys so she has the maturity of a 16 year old guy. However, as you said, her dad doesn't like it. I'm assuming her dad knows you for a long time now since the dad is the same dad as your best friend's. I really don't know why he doesnt like it (the specific reasons) but if I were the dad I wouldn't like it either.
Not that you're a bad influence or anything but the problem is the age difference. As many have posted, she's still finding herself, maturing more. You could have a big impact on her blooming into a young adult. If you decided to date her in 2011-2012 (she's 16, you're 20), I probably wouldn't see a problem as she's probably more grown up now. Maybe her dad wouldn't too.
Right now, I think her dad is being protective and preventing anything awful while she's still maturing. Honestly though, I think her dad should be more protective of her dating guys her age (since at that age guys only want to get into her pants like you experienced).
Ok this is getting long... Now if you asked for advice before you started dating maybe it this all been avoided but you decided to ask 5 months into the relationship.
Don't let other people tell you to end the relationship (unless the law is involved). You two love each other and if you break up now or soon, you'll break her heart and probably have a negative impact when she reaches adulthood. Not only that but you may have problems with your best friend because of a break-up. Same goes if you decide to continue the relationship, be careful. Anything regretful happens and the same stuff I've mentioned above may happen.
Good luck on whatever course of action you decide. Remember that your actions can have a profound effect on your girlfriend's maturity but also on your relationship with your best friend.
I definitely understand what you're saying about letting my feelings guide me, a mistake I make all too often. I do get to spend a lot of time with her though. It just sucks.....cause when we are alone, no one to look at us funny, or give some snarky comment, things are great, and it is the kind of relationship I want.
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Hey, I read xkcd, too!
But yeah, the above is actually a very good guide. Go to college, meet people you actually can converse with, and let her have a childhood.
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You're not out of the woods yet even if you do, because if she's badly damaged enough by the breakup, she will falsely accuse you of touching her. Then you get to pay for a lawyer, etc. Have fun with that.
The world brings you enough troubles, don't go knocking on its door to get more.
14 year-olds are kids and are not fully developed. Not cool.
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Yes, the lack of sex is preventing you from being considered a child molestor, so that's a good thing. You're still dating the child though, so that's an issue.
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As far as I am concerned, if it makes you happy, go ahead and date. Just know your boundaries and keep them there.
(emphasis mine)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedophilia
Everyone who said this relationship qualifies as pedophilia needs to do a little more research. Fourteen year olds are not prepubescent.
Re: Point two -- legality. OP is from Maine. Maine has a nice little law some people refer to as a Romeo and Juliet law. The general age of consent is 16. But, people 14 or 15 years of age can consent to sex with people less than five years older than themselves. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ages_of_consent_in_North_America#Maine) Since OP's girlfriend is 14, and OP is only four years older, it's perfectly legal for them to have sex. It's not pedophilia, and it's not rape. This is kind of a moot point anyway, since OP says they aren't having sex. But you guys seem to keep pushing this point, so I thought it was worth refuting.
Yes. It's right in the OP. The mom seems fine with it, the dad is flipping out.
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Well in that case, this is all very weird and I do indeed think it is wrong. It isn't illegal if you aren't having sex but it is really weird.