I'm curious. Do you believe that teens in general should not date one another because of this?
My personal opinion isn't that Teens shouldn't date, but I think it would be better to date someone in the same threshold, in the least.
I can do very little to defend this point, but I can see absolutely no way that anyone could smile upon the situation.
It's understandable blue control players would be shocked and in denial at the notion of this card, since their decks have been dominating multiple formats for an eternity yet they've curiously never once had to deal with any counter-hosers that weren't ineffectual, narrow CRAP.
lmao, this is entertaining...sorry, haven't read much of the thread but here goes my 2 cents: who gives a rats ass? you're not hurting anyone and shes not pregnant
False. There are more ways to hurt people that you're either overlooking or disregarding. Emotional, for example.
ETA: Alright guys, at this point, just coming in to call the OP a pedophile isn't constructive. Move on.
Not really. The sky = red things is a position that's much harder to defend. Holding the opinion that an 18 year-old pursuing a relationship with a girl at 14 is akin to pedophilia is much easier to defend.
It's not easy to defend at all. In fact, no one in this thread has been able to defend it at all. Regardless, it's not an opinion. It's a false belief. I can say that five = two all I want. That's not my opinion, though. It's a false belief.
Don't know where you live, but getting past puberty/maturing physically happens around 16, hell even 18 if I recall correctly.
I'm all for love and happiness, though I do advice that you think and rethink about dating a minor as an adult (technically), few reasons:
1. As stated before, you are going to be the creepy guy.
2. In this case love is easily confused for either "cuteness" from the adult's part and "big bro/big sis kind of love" from the minor's part.
3. Stress. You're not going to put a dent in your well-being, but a goddamn crater. Expect lots of yellings and crying.
Also, ask yourself these two questions: If the opportunity arises, when someone your age comes onto you and is not shy to let it be known that he/she is interested in a relationship, possibly of sexual nature, will you just drop you current "lover"? And are you willing to go 4 years without sexual intercourse and will wait for him/her to age beyond the age of consent? (Call me narrowminded, but yes I do consider sex to be a vital part of a healthy relationship. ESPECIALLY at that age.)
And to smooth things off, lets imagine the following, maybe unlikely, but highly plausible situation: You started dating when she was 14, and you were 18. You're now 20 and she's 16. On a joyful day in spring, you two are home alone in your or her room and suddenly, hormones kick in, from both sides. At this point, there will be plenty of braincells going in Borgmode screaming "resistance is futile" and the inevitable happens. After a heated session of pleasuremaking, you both swear to not to speak of this to anyone, ever. If life only were this simple. By accident and to her horror, the event passes her lips in front of her parents, but that's just what girls do at that age. Etc etc. Enjoy prison.
tl;dr: Unless this was rethought over about fifty times, clear restrictions were made and it's kept on a casual level, don't do it.
You bring up many good points. I completely agree about the stress, the stigma, etc. But the prison argument has been addressed time and time again. OP has no legal worries whatsoever, whether they have sex or not.
lmao, this is entertaining...sorry, haven't read much of the thread but here goes my 2 cents: who gives a rats ass? you're not hurting anyone and shes not pregnant
some people are mature for there age, some are immature, some can deal with certain immaturities etc.. young girlfriends like that are fine so long as you're ready to sarifice maturity
you're far from a bad person, and in my opinion you could even have sex and it wouldnt be a problem so long as you use protection
on that note hahahaha you're dating a freshman!! loser... lol
Dude, not cool.
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sorry, that was meant to be humorous...i was making light of the fact that he's dating a freshman, but making a point that theres nothing wrong with that. sorry for any offense caused, twas not my intention. actually i admire the OP for being willing to date someone even tho it is not necessarily socially accepted
so yea, sorry if that sounded mean i didnt mean for it to
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I feel that murder is wrong. I also feel that theft is wrong. They feel wrong in the same way. That doesn't mean it's okay to call theft murder.
Terrible. Pedophilia at its core is taking advantage of the immaturity, inexperience and innocence of a child. This situation involves involves what some here see as the OP taking advantage of this girl's immaturity, inexperience and innocence. At that point, calling it a case of pedophilia is hyperbole but only in the strictest sense since it only isn't definitively pedophilia based on semantics and technicality. The two situations occupy very close real estate, more so than theft and murder.
lmao, this is entertaining...sorry, haven't read much of the thread but here goes my 2 cents: who gives a rats ass? you're not hurting anyone and shes not pregnant
some people are mature for there age, some are immature, some can deal with certain immaturities etc.. young girlfriends like that are fine so long as you're ready to sarifice maturity
you're far from a bad person, and in my opinion you could even have sex and it wouldnt be a problem so long as you use protection
on that note hahahaha you're dating a freshman!! loser... lol
Dude, not cool.
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So is it for a 40 year old to date a mature 14 year old if there is no physical harm or pregnancy?
Didn't know that. But still, if her parents find out, you're in for a long and hellish ride. They won't propagate it as love between two persons who happen to have an age gap, they'll propagate it as a monster taking advantage of their little girl in a most horrid way.
Getting shunned by society is the same as prison. If not worse.
he can always just move
i dont recommend that the OP have sex with this girl but if he's willing to accept the consequences...well, more power to him
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I suppose I would say that the "badness" of your relationship with her is very dependent on her maturity level.
Really in certain states even having sex with her isn't against the law, let alone different countries or eras. A few hundred years ago people were getting married at very young ages, and its likely that no one batted an eye at this practice just because how much more mature the typical 14 year old was compared to now because people aren't forced to grow up as quickly.
So I suppose the question is about her mental age rather than her physical one. Do you believe she could live on her own and take responsibility for herself and her actions like every adult has to, or do you think she would be unable to do it?
If she can't handle that, than she has the maturity level of a child and what you are doing is wrong, break it off to her and wait until she is mature enough to date. Because really, the only thing you have to go on is her mental state.
For example lets say I had some rare disease were I stopped growing at 8 years old. Then lets say my 30th birthday comes to be, does that mean I shouldn't be able to be in a relationship with anyone because it would be gross or someone else would find it fundamentally wrong because of how my body looked? Not at all, and its the same case here but in reverse, she probably has the mind of a child, so what you are doing is bad, but your mileage may vary.
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22 is a big number. bigger than 14 or 18. there is no comparison to the OP's situation and the one that you have raised.
Ok Mr. Math. Where is the line then?
18, 19, 26?
18= adult (in OP's case at least physically)
14= child
Our society, along with perverts like this, are trying to make 14 year olds not children BUT THEY ARE regardless of percieved maturity and development.
i agree the morality of all this really depends on her maturity level
that and the fact that 14 isn't so young that she cant make her own decisions, stop talking like he forced her into this relationship, it takes two to tango
18= adult (in OP's case at least physically)
14= child
Our society, along with perverts like this, are trying to make 14 year olds not children BUT THEY ARE regardless of percieved maturity and development.
i would put the cap at 18 to be honest, and even then its probably not wise. but that doesnt mean what they're doing is wrong
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22 is a big number. bigger than 14 or 18. there is no comparison to the OP's situation and the one that you have raised.
Would you hate a man, who's 30 who dated a 22 year old. No!
Would you hate a man, who's 22 who dated a 14 year old. You shouldn't!
However there is a limit what's that limit, use common sense. A 34+ year old who hangs around a high school while the young ladies are leaving for the day and isn't a person who works there. You get where I'm going, I hope.
There relationship is a like a gun. Treat it nicely and with respect. It will save your life one day. Abuse it and it will kill someone.
Same can be said about your relationship treat it nicely and respectfully. You should have a happy life. Abuse it and your life will be miserable.
People who have a problem with the age difference just need to grow up. My parents are 51 and 59, but you don't see anyone calling my mom a you know what! Anyone flames my parents on this forum you better hope an admin deletes your comment before I see it, because an admin is going to have to clean up mine. No offense to the admins.
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that and the fact that 14 isn't so young that she cant make her own decisions, stop talking like he forced her into this relationship, it takes two to tango
There's the argument that for all her supposed maturity, she's not experienced enough with relationships to make informed decisions as we'd see them. In a way, though not forced in a definitive sense, that applies a certain level of emotional coercion to their relationship.
Would you hate a man, who's 30 who dated a 22 year old. No!
Would you hate a man, who's 22 who dated a 14 year old. You shouldn't!
However there is a limit what's that limit, use common sense. A 34+ year old who hangs around a high school while the young ladies are leaving for the day and isn't a person who works there. You get where I'm going, I hope.
There relationship is a like a gun. Treat it nicely and with respect. It will save your life one day. Abuse it and it will kill someone.
Same can be said about your relationship treat it nicely and respectfully. You should have a happy life. Abuse it and your life will be miserable.
People who have a problem with the age difference just need to grow up. My parents are 51 and 59, but you don't see anyone calling my mom a you know what! Anyone flames my parents on this forum you better hope an admin deletes your comment before I see it, because an admin is going to have to clean up mine. No offense to the admins.
yes. now, if HE was 14 and she was 10, that is inappropriate, but at the age those two are at, its fine
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There's the argument that for all her supposed maturity, she's not experienced enough with relationships to make informed decisions as we'd see them. In a way, though not forced in a definitive sense, that applies a certain level of emotional coercion to their relationship.
i disagree, at 14 we can make informed choices. they may not be the best but we can at least be held accountable
a 22 year old is an adult. a 14 year old is a child. I don't see how this is such a difficult thing for some of you to grasp.
see now that raises another question, is an 18 year old really an adult? i've met plenty of 18 yr old's that give off the impression that they're more like 14 or 15 maturity wise
we dont know enough about the situation really
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i disagree, at 14 we can make informed choices. they may not be the best but we can at least be held accountable
No, at 14 we think we can make informed decisions. At least when it comes to more adult situations. And relationships, proper relationships, are more an adult's domain than child.
I get the overwhelming feeling that many of you posting in here are childeren as well. I am not saying there is ANYTHING wrong with that and did not mean that to be derogatory. But many of you seem to have misguided opinions on what "adult" and "child" means.
and i'm sorry, but whats wrong with making poor relationship decisions? this is how you learn. and so far as i can tell hes not hurting her so whats wrong with her dating a guy who's a little too old for her? i mean they're not even having sex. what damage can he do to her?
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My personal opinion isn't that Teens shouldn't date, but I think it would be better to date someone in the same threshold, in the least.
I can do very little to defend this point, but I can see absolutely no way that anyone could smile upon the situation.
Approve? Maybe. Smile? Not a chance.
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False. There are more ways to hurt people that you're either overlooking or disregarding. Emotional, for example.
ETA: Alright guys, at this point, just coming in to call the OP a pedophile isn't constructive. Move on.
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Sure he is. He said it was pedophilia (repeatedly). It is not. Plain and simple. I do understand your point, though.
You are correct. I suppose it's just kinda transitioned from personal opinion/advice into a full-blown debate. My bad.
I feel that murder is wrong. I also feel that theft is wrong. They feel wrong in the same way. That doesn't mean it's okay to call theft murder.
It's not easy to defend at all. In fact, no one in this thread has been able to defend it at all. Regardless, it's not an opinion. It's a false belief. I can say that five = two all I want. That's not my opinion, though. It's a false belief.
I didn't say his overall opinion that OP is in the wrong is invalid. I was saying that his assertion of pedophilia is invalid.
You bring up many good points. I completely agree about the stress, the stigma, etc. But the prison argument has been addressed time and time again. OP has no legal worries whatsoever, whether they have sex or not.
Edit:
Really? Can you point me to where I did? I'm always trying to further avoid fallacies.
sorry, that was meant to be humorous...i was making light of the fact that he's dating a freshman, but making a point that theres nothing wrong with that. sorry for any offense caused, twas not my intention. actually i admire the OP for being willing to date someone even tho it is not necessarily socially accepted
so yea, sorry if that sounded mean i didnt mean for it to
Terrible. Pedophilia at its core is taking advantage of the immaturity, inexperience and innocence of a child. This situation involves involves what some here see as the OP taking advantage of this girl's immaturity, inexperience and innocence. At that point, calling it a case of pedophilia is hyperbole but only in the strictest sense since it only isn't definitively pedophilia based on semantics and technicality. The two situations occupy very close real estate, more so than theft and murder.
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So is it for a 40 year old to date a mature 14 year old if there is no physical harm or pregnancy?
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lets do some simple math: 40-18=22
22 is a big number. bigger than 14 or 18. there is no comparison to the OP's situation and the one that you have raised.
he can always just move
i dont recommend that the OP have sex with this girl but if he's willing to accept the consequences...well, more power to him
Really in certain states even having sex with her isn't against the law, let alone different countries or eras. A few hundred years ago people were getting married at very young ages, and its likely that no one batted an eye at this practice just because how much more mature the typical 14 year old was compared to now because people aren't forced to grow up as quickly.
So I suppose the question is about her mental age rather than her physical one. Do you believe she could live on her own and take responsibility for herself and her actions like every adult has to, or do you think she would be unable to do it?
If she can't handle that, than she has the maturity level of a child and what you are doing is wrong, break it off to her and wait until she is mature enough to date. Because really, the only thing you have to go on is her mental state.
For example lets say I had some rare disease were I stopped growing at 8 years old. Then lets say my 30th birthday comes to be, does that mean I shouldn't be able to be in a relationship with anyone because it would be gross or someone else would find it fundamentally wrong because of how my body looked? Not at all, and its the same case here but in reverse, she probably has the mind of a child, so what you are doing is bad, but your mileage may vary.
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Ok Mr. Math. Where is the line then?
18, 19, 26?
18= adult (in OP's case at least physically)
14= child
Our society, along with perverts like this, are trying to make 14 year olds not children BUT THEY ARE regardless of percieved maturity and development.
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that and the fact that 14 isn't so young that she cant make her own decisions, stop talking like he forced her into this relationship, it takes two to tango
i would put the cap at 18 to be honest, and even then its probably not wise. but that doesnt mean what they're doing is wrong
Would you hate a man, who's 30 who dated a 22 year old. No!
Would you hate a man, who's 22 who dated a 14 year old. You shouldn't!
However there is a limit what's that limit, use common sense. A 34+ year old who hangs around a high school while the young ladies are leaving for the day and isn't a person who works there. You get where I'm going, I hope.
There relationship is a like a gun. Treat it nicely and with respect. It will save your life one day. Abuse it and it will kill someone.
Same can be said about your relationship treat it nicely and respectfully. You should have a happy life. Abuse it and your life will be miserable.
People who have a problem with the age difference just need to grow up. My parents are 51 and 59, but you don't see anyone calling my mom a you know what! Anyone flames my parents on this forum you better hope an admin deletes your comment before I see it, because an admin is going to have to clean up mine. No offense to the admins.
-Peter
There's the argument that for all her supposed maturity, she's not experienced enough with relationships to make informed decisions as we'd see them. In a way, though not forced in a definitive sense, that applies a certain level of emotional coercion to their relationship.
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yes. now, if HE was 14 and she was 10, that is inappropriate, but at the age those two are at, its fine
a 22 year old is an adult. a 14 year old is a child. I don't see how this is such a difficult thing for some of you to grasp.
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i disagree, at 14 we can make informed choices. they may not be the best but we can at least be held accountable
see now that raises another question, is an 18 year old really an adult? i've met plenty of 18 yr old's that give off the impression that they're more like 14 or 15 maturity wise
we dont know enough about the situation really
No, at 14 we think we can make informed decisions. At least when it comes to more adult situations. And relationships, proper relationships, are more an adult's domain than child.
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Katingal: Plane of Chains
I get the overwhelming feeling that many of you posting in here are childeren as well. I am not saying there is ANYTHING wrong with that and did not mean that to be derogatory. But many of you seem to have misguided opinions on what "adult" and "child" means.
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Also I want to know what 14 year old is thinking about getting his :o:o:o:o wet.
-Peter
and i'm sorry, but whats wrong with making poor relationship decisions? this is how you learn. and so far as i can tell hes not hurting her so whats wrong with her dating a guy who's a little too old for her? i mean they're not even having sex. what damage can he do to her?
I'm more concerned with the mental issues an 18 year old would have to have to be attracted to and date a 14 year old.
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