Yeah so she never replied to my voicemail or call. GG, i guess i freaked her out too bad.
Yep. GG. Trust me, once you start down that road, you really need to completely, utterly forget about someone.
When I was in eighth grade, I had a bunch of friends over for a slumber party. We started talking about girls at school we liked, and I admitted that I liked this really unpopular girl. It was such a relief to admit it (liking someone kind of freakishly unpopular was like coming out of the closet) that it made me decide right then and there to call the girl up and ask her out.
So I called her, got her machine. This was back in the day when people had landlines and answering machines, see. That obviously was too anticlimactic for my 13 year old brain, and for my friends at the sleepover. So (it was still pretty early, like 6pm) I called her a few times that evening. I had no idea that this was a weird thing to do.
I eventually got her on the phone and we talked for a long time, and I asked her out. She said yes, actually. I guess this was a friday, because I know I tried to call her after that during the same weekend, but no one picked up.
I guess at some point over the weekend, her dad informed her that it was weird for a guy to call a girl that often. Because when monday rolled around, this girl basically avoided me, and then when we had class together, told me off.
This girl thought I was stalking her til... I don't know, late high school. We still had a few mutual friends, and every once in a while, one of them would be like, "Do you remember ___? She was bashing you last weekend, about middle school stuff."
It doesn't matter how harmless you are, I was thirteen and really just clueless. Once you start giving a girl a bad vibe, don't try to apologize or alter the bad impression, just RUN. Don't look at them, don't talk to them, just do your thing and forget about them.
Yes, it is weird when they go from friendly to unfriendly lightning quick. Some might call it rude, but honestly, girls need those instincts to stay safe. I know you know yourself, and you know you're harmless, but she has no way of knowing that.
Sorry to hear that your friendship with this lady went awry. There are a lot of fish in the sea, though.
Well the reason I hunted her down at work is because the previous sunday when we hung out, we had planned for me to meet her at her work when she got off.....Even though I hadn't had contact with her all week, I figured it was her phone having problems again. I didn't want to be a jerk and stand her up, so I waited 5 hours for her to get off. IRONICALLY I GOT STOOD UP TRYING TO NOT STAND HER UP! How ridiculous is that?
Do you guys not see that? I was trying to do the right thing and pick her up to hang out. I kept my word, and I expected her to do the same. I would have felt bad if someone was suppose to pick me up for a date, and then that person bailed out on me.
I was trying to have integrity, and it ended up making me look like a creeper! How stupid is that?
I imagined her waiting after work for me to pick her up, and I wasn't there, so I waited at work in order to be a good guy because there are so many jerks out there.
I don't understand why I am the creeper when she is the one who stood me up with no explanation even though I was just trying to be a good honest man who holds my word!
It's not about politeness, it's about safety. To you it feels like an issue of politeness, because you have access to information she doesn't.
It'd be great if they printed this for women
Scope outU Instant
Look at target boy and see if he's a rapist or serial killer. If he isn't, draw a card.
You're not going to kill her, you know that, we know that, but she is probably genuinely afraid of you, and with good reason. You are basically stalking her. If you didn't know that now, you do now.
Think about this. If your friend Tim and you were going to maybe "hang out" after work friday, but you hadn't seen him since Monday... would you call his boss or workline? Show up at his work and camp out outside? Also assume Tim isn't a good friend. He's someone you've seen around school and hung out with a couple times. Are you starting to see how strangely you were behaving?
You need to give women outs. You are inescapable. You are not allowed to blitzkrieg yourself into a girl's life. It's a social skill to tell when someone is kind of not wanting to do something, and say "if you don't want to, that's cool."
Instead, you're more like, "I will FIND you." Again, I'm a guy, and your OP was a little scary even to me. With even a little reading between the lines, it seemed like you were hunting this girl down. At least as far as this girl is concerned, you sound more than a little delusional. At the first sign of "oh my phone" stuff, you should've packed up your bags.
You have to understand that every unknown guy presents a danger to a girl. It's not about being polite. It's about her manager keeping you from killing her in an alley.
--
Edit: I don't want all that to sound like I think you're some horrible maniac. I think you're a perfectly pleasant person. I just think that SHE has good reason to guard her safety.
--
Edit2: You asked for tips earlier about not being a creeper. Here are some.
1.) Don't get angry at women
2.) Turn off your engineering brain for social stuff.
3.) Don't call people out on stuff. If someone lies to your face, just say "oh, okay!" The funny thing is, they know that you know they are lying. The truth is understood between you. It's just less awkward to not cross examine people.
4.) Back down. Tom Petty was wrong.
In any situation where you see a girl's shields go up, just become the dumbest, most genial, nonthreatening person you can make yourself be.
If a girl says she is shipping out on a Moon Landing mission and will never see you again, but has a twin that goes to your school who you must not talk to, for the sake of the space-time continuum, just go "oh, alright. Thanks. See ya!"
Yep. GG. Trust me, once you start down that road, you really need to completely, utterly forget about someone.
When I was in eighth grade, I had a bunch of friends over for a slumber party. We started talking about girls at school we liked, and I admitted that I liked this really unpopular girl. It was such a relief to admit it (liking someone kind of freakishly unpopular was like coming out of the closet) that it made me decide right then and there to call the girl up and ask her out.
So I called her, got her machine. This was back in the day when people had landlines and answering machines, see. That obviously was too anticlimactic for my 13 year old brain, and for my friends at the sleepover. So (it was still pretty early, like 6pm) I called her a few times that evening. I had no idea that this was a weird thing to do.
I eventually got her on the phone and we talked for a long time, and I asked her out. She said yes, actually. I guess this was a friday, because I know I tried to call her after that during the same weekend, but no one picked up.
I guess at some point over the weekend, her dad informed her that it was weird for a guy to call a girl that often. Because when monday rolled around, this girl basically avoided me, and then when we had class together, told me off.
This girl thought I was stalking her til... I don't know, late high school. We still had a few mutual friends, and every once in a while, one of them would be like, "Do you remember ___? She was bashing you last weekend, about middle school stuff."
It doesn't matter how harmless you are, I was thirteen and really just clueless. Once you start giving a girl a bad vibe, don't try to apologize or alter the bad impression, just RUN. Don't look at them, don't talk to them, just do your thing and forget about them.
Yes, it is weird when they go from friendly to unfriendly lightning quick. Some might call it rude, but honestly, girls need those instincts to stay safe. I know you know yourself, and you know you're harmless, but she has no way of knowing that.
Sorry to hear that your friendship with this lady went awry. There are a lot of fish in the sea, though.
It's not about politeness, it's about safety. To you it feels like an issue of politeness, because you have access to information she doesn't.
It'd be great if they printed this for women
Scope outU Instant
Look at target boy and see if he's a rapist or serial killer. If he isn't, draw a card.
You're not going to kill her, you know that, we know that, but she is probably genuinely afraid of you, and with good reason. You are basically stalking her. If you didn't know that now, you do now.
Think about this. If your friend Tim and you were going to maybe "hang out" after work friday, but you hadn't seen him since Monday... would you call his boss or workline? Show up at his work and camp out outside? Also assume Tim isn't a good friend. He's someone you've seen around school and hung out with a couple times. Are you starting to see how strangely you were behaving?
You need to give women outs. You are inescapable. You are not allowed to blitzkrieg yourself into a girl's life. It's a social skill to tell when someone is kind of not wanting to do something, and say "if you don't want to, that's cool."
Instead, you're more like, "I will FIND you." Again, I'm a guy, and your OP was a little scary even to me. With even a little reading between the lines, it seemed like you were hunting this girl down. At least as far as this girl is concerned, you sound more than a little delusional. At the first sign of "oh my phone" stuff, you should've packed up your bags.
You have to understand that every unknown guy presents a danger to a girl. It's not about being polite. It's about her manager keeping you from killing her in an alley.
--
Edit: I don't want all that to sound like I think you're some horrible maniac. I think you're a perfectly pleasant person. I just think that SHE has good reason to guard her safety.
--
Edit2: You asked for tips earlier about not being a creeper. Here are some.
1.) Don't get angry at women
2.) Turn off your engineering brain for social stuff.
3.) Don't call people out on stuff. If someone lies to your face, just say "oh, okay!" The funny thing is, they know that you know they are lying. The truth is understood between you. It's just less awkward to not cross examine people.
4.) Back down. Tom Petty was wrong.
In any situation where you see a girl's shields go up, just become the dumbest, most genial, nonthreatening person you can make yourself be.
If a girl says she is shipping out on a Moon Landing mission and will never see you again, but has a twin that goes to your school who you must not talk to, for the sake of the space-time continuum, just go "oh, alright. Thanks. See ya!"
Dang man, thanks for the advice, makes me kinda rethink myself.
I guess I should explain my personality. I have been described as "Type A", meaning I like to do everything on time, correctly, and the best to my ability. I like to excel in everything I do, and get any kinda of achievement I can. I freak out over not getting all A's. I made Eagle Scout of the Year. I won some wrestling awards in my state. I dedicate myself to whatever I do. Commitment.
I realize now that it was probably creepy for me to stalk her at work. But look from my perspective. Keeping my word is a HUGE thing to me. The last time I talked to the girl, we WERE hanging out on Friday. So in my mind, I pictured the girl waiting and waiting for me to show up......and I'm not there! I didn't want to break my word, and I didn't expect that she would either. I foolishly believed her cell phone had problems. It's just a courteous behavior for me to keep my word until i hear otherwise. (or creepy which ever way you look at it)
Your not a stalker just a little naive about how people work. I mean to top it all off YOU GAVE HER YOUR E-MAIL AT THE START OF YOUR POST! She didn't even need her phone to contact you lol. Absolutely crazy.
Good luck in the future though you seem like a nice guy. D:
Nobody uses email to contact someone they know offline anymore. This isn't the Stone Age.
But look from my perspective. Keeping my word is a HUGE thing to me. The last time I talked to the girl, we WERE hanging out on Friday. So in my mind, I pictured the girl waiting and waiting for me to show up......and I'm not there! I didn't want to break my word, and I didn't expect that she would either. I foolishly believed her cell phone had problems. It's just a courteous behavior for me to keep my word until i hear otherwise. (or creepy which ever way you look at it)
From what I can tell, it was just a loose suggestion to hang out. If it wasn't, you didn't even need to call her to confirm in the first place. You kept your word by attempting to contact her to confirm hanging out. Your word was kept.
By showing up to her work, you attempted to force her to keep her word. You need to keep your honor code to yourself. No one needs to abide by them but yourself, nor are they considered honorable to some people.
Wow, can't believe I read this entire thread. Fascinating. From my perspective as a woman I think she sounds a little flakey, I am not convinced she's scared of you or thinks you're a stalker. If I saw a stalker guy I wouldn't run up to him and offer a gross medical excuse for why we didn't hang out on Friday night, I'd feel sick to my stomach and pretend I didn't see him and keep walking.
Anyway, you two are NOT a good match. Her behavior is making you crazy, she has a boyfriend. Move on. If she contacts you again then ignore her. Sounds like you two often let weeks pass without talking or texting or whatever, so she isn't into you and not hearing from you won't break her heart. If she acts all goofy/excited when she sees you again and wonders why you haven't been contacting her just shrug and say, "Been busy with school, you know." If she asks to hang out then repeat how busy you are. Blow her off. Seriously, you two are like oil and water. Superficial friendships come and go in college, it's not the end of the world.
I would dearly love to hear her side of this saga, that'd be a riot.
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^^yeah, I would almost be willing to pay like $100 to read her thoughts over this situation, it would be so funny to hear things from her point of view...
UPDATE: So I pretty much never see the girl at school. Today, was an exception. The Saga continues.
I was making my way to my calculus III class on the right side of the corridor, when BAM, walking in the opposite direction of me, is the girl!
So it's like this:
------->(Me)
<------(her)
I think we both had the same thought in our minds at the time (oh crap, this is awkward!) I try to make eye contact, but she isn't looking in my direction, so we both kinda pretend we didn't see each other because we were further enough apart where we could kinda ignore each other. So it was like we were strangers.
But then on the way out of calculus 3, I turn the corner and BAM. we both just kind of run into each other, like where its unavoidable, because its a narrow crowded corner space....She makes eye contact and does a kinda smile and "hey" type thing, and I return it, but neither of us stop walking or say anything beyond just a quick little "hey"/smile thingy.
What will happen next in the saga? Stay tuned lol.
I can't believe what i'm reading. First of all if someone tells you there mobile is broken you are NOT a stalker for trying to contact them multiple times! Its second nature to presume if she hasn't answered/replied her phone hasn't picked up your message and you need to try again.
Then for her to re-establish contact with a message to your sister saying SHE'S been trying to CONTACT YOU. At this point she can't think your creepy because creepy people are to be avoided (its called common sense.)
She spends the whole day texting you and suddenly stops dead. I mean seriously to text someone 'good morning' from the time they wake up ALL DAY then stop. THAT IS WEIRD.
Then you make plans to hang out and you phone to see if its still on and she says YES. Gives you the lame my phone is cracking up excuse when you try to confirm. Then when you go ahead with the plans you BOTH made she's surprised to see you but confirms its still on. She could have called off the plan since she so obviously forgot but she doesn't.
You kill some time and call her as per her instructions, even half an hour before her shift ends she says your still on for hanging out. You call back when SHE TOLD YOU TOO CALL and she's 'left'.
So ok maybe you pushed to hard and came off creepy?
A week later she walks up to you happy as pie and re-establishes contact! SHE re-stablishes contact. What's going on? Is she turned on by stalkers? Or is it more likely she doesn't view you as a stalker or person to avoid. (stalkers ARE people to avoid at any cost right?).
I have no explanation but i understand why her behaviour could be viewed as sociopathic by a person with a type A personality.
Most likely thing she is a TYPE B personality. Very laid back to chilled to take your calls at that particular time then forgets you even called, so no return call. Forgets the plans you made. Feels to tired to keep the plan so tells her boss to fob you off. Gets back to you a week later when seeing you in the library jogs her memory you exist. Gives you lame and easy excuses to cover up her tardiness and generally easy going attitude...
That is the harmless explanation, the other would be she was simply blowing hot and cold and was feeling indecisive/fickle about you. That would also tie back in for the laid back don't really care attitude at times.
So yeah whatever it was learn from it. Learn to recognize when a person is laid back and adjust your own behaviour accordingly. You did nothing wrong just put it down to inexperience, over- enthusiasm and clashing personalities. Put the friendship on a back burner in your mind and see how it develops of its own accord. STOP THINKING about it. For good or bad you've made contact, what happens happens.
Your not a stalker just a little naive about how people work. I mean to top it all off YOU GAVE HER YOUR E-MAIL AT THE START OF YOUR POST! She didn't even need her phone to contact you lol. Absolutely crazy.
Good luck in the future though you seem like a nice guy. D:
Out of all the posts in this thread, I think this was the most insightful and helpful. I think you nailed it. She is a laid back, does whatever feels good at the moment type person, with little regards for plans, deadlines, schedules, commitments etc....To support this theory, she was consistently late for class when she was in my class, and she also forgot she had plans with some other gay friend of her one time I was talking to her, her car was a wreck.....she was always late for other stuff too.... She's the type who makes superficial friends, lives in the moment, etc.
I think we are DEAD opposites of each other.
I think you nailed it with your interpretation of her. I really don't think she was creeped out by me, but it was just her personality didn't fit with mine.
But the annoying thing is.....I still like her : (
Like even though our personalities were so different, she was an incredibly interesting and fun person. Like most teenage girls are focused on stupid dumb stuff like Twighlight, makeup, and Northface, and going to the mall and the beach and stuff like that, but this girl was not like your stereotypical teenage girl, which is why i liked her so much.
Ok so is the general consensus that I mistook her kindness for more than just friendship? Was showing up at her work too creepy? (we had planned for me to meet up at her work)
BUT! Don't you guys think it was rude for her to ditch me at her work with no explanation? She had me WAITING FOR 5 HOURS and then she just disapeared, with no call or text or anything.
Just as a note. I often meet a friend of mine at the supermarket where they work. If I wander in just as she's finished I will get told 'oh sorry she's already gone' . What they haven't realised is that she's still in the building, she's just signing off, collecting her things, going to the toilet and everything else she needs to do before actually EXITING the building. Isn't is possible if her car was still there she was out the back getting changed out of her uniform or something?
Managers don't care enough to think beyond ' you're no longer serving customers and thus I don't care where you are '.
And as for the claim that we were just friends, then why did she initiate hanging out, touching me, sitting by me, etc.?
Depends on the girl. Does she do this with her other male friends to? If so, this is her expression of friendship.
And for the future, how do I make sure that I am not just a girl's "friend"?
Probably no diffinative way to do this. Either you develop feelings for her and want to tell her to persue it. Or you say nothing and wait for her to MAYBE one day say it.
Agreed... god i just went through this whole thread and by jolly its amazing they haven't slap you with a permanent restraining order yet....
Dude you creeped the living hell out of her, she blurted the most humiliating, out of this world, crazy stuff JUST! so she could have a reason to explain why she stood you up, girls dont do that unless they think the guy is a creep, hell not even GUYS do that unless they think the girl is wacked beyond reason!
Phone's crap out sure, but in this day an age there's no way her phone constantly fails to receive calls AND messages... whats this 1999?
Also you called her once and she didnt answered, then you called her FROM ANOTHER PHONE! to see if she picked up, she picked up seeing an unlisted number and then got creeped out at your attitude.
Yeah she got scared and with good reason, and everytime someone points it out your answer is "Dang bro! your so right.... blah blah blah" it seems almost like you are trolling here, you are apparently listening, understanding, agreeing and considering our points and yet you still continue in your stalker behavior, you went to a shrink and the dude told you to call with an apology message? yeah that girl surely thought your a crazy guy... awesome Jekil & Hyde moment there bud.
TL;DR: You creep me out, it feels like you are trolling and you got issues.
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That is not dead which can eternal lie. And with strange eons even death may die.
I think I need serious help getting over my stalker tendencies. The stalker tendencies don't manifest themselves in a way that would be threatening or harmful to others, but they are there enough to effect my interpersonal life. For example, I still regularly check the facebook's of girls I liked a year ago. When I say regularly, I don't mean like every day, but like once a week. I just like to see what they've been up to if that makes sense. I read what they write and who comments on them and stuff.
You've been denouncing the "creepy" label that people have been slapping on you, and now you are saying that you need help because of your stalker tendencies?
Yeah, I'm going to mark this thread as a trolling. Whether or not the initial story was true, I'm not believing another word.
Holy crap, dude. You need to put the brakes on and really think about what you just did to that girl. You were showing early signs of being a posessive stalker. I would have ran from you too and tried to avoid you. Move on and don't act so needy next time; women hate it.
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Cockatrice: Infallible
Mhjames: mtgsalvation: I DON'T SEE HOW THIS CARD IS GOOD. I KNOW PATRICK CHAPIN USED IT AND WENT 8-0, BUT THAT WAS A SMALL TOURNAMENT. THE CARD IS TOO SLOW. YOU NEED TO MAKE SURE THE OPPONENT HAS A SPELL IN THE GRAVEYARD
Regardless of who is in the wrong here, one thing is obvious. The chance of romance or even friendship with this girl is extremely unlikely at this point. Avoid her as much as possible. When you do run across her, nod or say hi, then keep going. Anything more is likely an invitation to trouble.
You know jdinatale, you're perfectly sane and normal. It's normal to feel that way when you're head over heels over someone, and it's even more normal to feel upset when the person is giving your wrong signals or treating you like a fool.
Girls are sensitive, they know it when you like them, they do. They enjoy the attention and they enjoy the feeling of being liked, but what they don't enjoy doing is saying no to a guy who is too deep into them.
I'm a girl and I know what she's thinking:
1. She likes your company, but she doesn't like you enough to want you as her bf.
2. The more you show your interest, the more you turn her off. Girls like bad boys, you heard of it? Keep your cool and you'll be surprised when she starts calling you more often.
Do you get annoyed when your friends treat you like the way she treats you? You'll probably call them once or twice and if they don't pick up you'll just assume they are busy and go do your own stuff right? Try to treat her as a friend. Go spend time with your friends and stuff and forget about her. This way you either forget about her and it doesn't affect you anymore, or she likes you and want to hang out with you more.
Haha... what? If you treat every girl who wants some alcohol before she loosens up like she's a whore... well, good luck.
Sound advice.
Again, what? It would be much easier to make up another guy than to pick up an actual stalker-type.
How do you know that her phone isn't acting up again?
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dude please dont encourage him. He needs to stop calling this girl and avoid her and move on.
Yep. GG. Trust me, once you start down that road, you really need to completely, utterly forget about someone.
When I was in eighth grade, I had a bunch of friends over for a slumber party. We started talking about girls at school we liked, and I admitted that I liked this really unpopular girl. It was such a relief to admit it (liking someone kind of freakishly unpopular was like coming out of the closet) that it made me decide right then and there to call the girl up and ask her out.
So I called her, got her machine. This was back in the day when people had landlines and answering machines, see. That obviously was too anticlimactic for my 13 year old brain, and for my friends at the sleepover. So (it was still pretty early, like 6pm) I called her a few times that evening. I had no idea that this was a weird thing to do.
I eventually got her on the phone and we talked for a long time, and I asked her out. She said yes, actually. I guess this was a friday, because I know I tried to call her after that during the same weekend, but no one picked up.
I guess at some point over the weekend, her dad informed her that it was weird for a guy to call a girl that often. Because when monday rolled around, this girl basically avoided me, and then when we had class together, told me off.
This girl thought I was stalking her til... I don't know, late high school. We still had a few mutual friends, and every once in a while, one of them would be like, "Do you remember ___? She was bashing you last weekend, about middle school stuff."
It doesn't matter how harmless you are, I was thirteen and really just clueless. Once you start giving a girl a bad vibe, don't try to apologize or alter the bad impression, just RUN. Don't look at them, don't talk to them, just do your thing and forget about them.
Yes, it is weird when they go from friendly to unfriendly lightning quick. Some might call it rude, but honestly, girls need those instincts to stay safe. I know you know yourself, and you know you're harmless, but she has no way of knowing that.
Sorry to hear that your friendship with this lady went awry. There are a lot of fish in the sea, though.
It's not about politeness, it's about safety. To you it feels like an issue of politeness, because you have access to information she doesn't.
It'd be great if they printed this for women
Scope out U
Instant
Look at target boy and see if he's a rapist or serial killer. If he isn't, draw a card.
You're not going to kill her, you know that, we know that, but she is probably genuinely afraid of you, and with good reason. You are basically stalking her. If you didn't know that now, you do now.
Think about this. If your friend Tim and you were going to maybe "hang out" after work friday, but you hadn't seen him since Monday... would you call his boss or workline? Show up at his work and camp out outside? Also assume Tim isn't a good friend. He's someone you've seen around school and hung out with a couple times. Are you starting to see how strangely you were behaving?
You need to give women outs. You are inescapable. You are not allowed to blitzkrieg yourself into a girl's life. It's a social skill to tell when someone is kind of not wanting to do something, and say "if you don't want to, that's cool."
Instead, you're more like, "I will FIND you." Again, I'm a guy, and your OP was a little scary even to me. With even a little reading between the lines, it seemed like you were hunting this girl down. At least as far as this girl is concerned, you sound more than a little delusional. At the first sign of "oh my phone" stuff, you should've packed up your bags.
You have to understand that every unknown guy presents a danger to a girl. It's not about being polite. It's about her manager keeping you from killing her in an alley.
--
Edit: I don't want all that to sound like I think you're some horrible maniac. I think you're a perfectly pleasant person. I just think that SHE has good reason to guard her safety.
--
Edit2: You asked for tips earlier about not being a creeper. Here are some.
1.) Don't get angry at women
2.) Turn off your engineering brain for social stuff.
3.) Don't call people out on stuff. If someone lies to your face, just say "oh, okay!" The funny thing is, they know that you know they are lying. The truth is understood between you. It's just less awkward to not cross examine people.
4.) Back down. Tom Petty was wrong.
In any situation where you see a girl's shields go up, just become the dumbest, most genial, nonthreatening person you can make yourself be.
If a girl says she is shipping out on a Moon Landing mission and will never see you again, but has a twin that goes to your school who you must not talk to, for the sake of the space-time continuum, just go "oh, alright. Thanks. See ya!"
Dang man, thanks for the advice, makes me kinda rethink myself.
I guess I should explain my personality. I have been described as "Type A", meaning I like to do everything on time, correctly, and the best to my ability. I like to excel in everything I do, and get any kinda of achievement I can. I freak out over not getting all A's. I made Eagle Scout of the Year. I won some wrestling awards in my state. I dedicate myself to whatever I do. Commitment.
I realize now that it was probably creepy for me to stalk her at work. But look from my perspective. Keeping my word is a HUGE thing to me. The last time I talked to the girl, we WERE hanging out on Friday. So in my mind, I pictured the girl waiting and waiting for me to show up......and I'm not there! I didn't want to break my word, and I didn't expect that she would either. I foolishly believed her cell phone had problems. It's just a courteous behavior for me to keep my word until i hear otherwise. (or creepy which ever way you look at it)
Nobody uses email to contact someone they know offline anymore. This isn't the Stone Age.
By showing up to her work, you attempted to force her to keep her word. You need to keep your honor code to yourself. No one needs to abide by them but yourself, nor are they considered honorable to some people.
Anyway, you two are NOT a good match. Her behavior is making you crazy, she has a boyfriend. Move on. If she contacts you again then ignore her. Sounds like you two often let weeks pass without talking or texting or whatever, so she isn't into you and not hearing from you won't break her heart. If she acts all goofy/excited when she sees you again and wonders why you haven't been contacting her just shrug and say, "Been busy with school, you know." If she asks to hang out then repeat how busy you are. Blow her off. Seriously, you two are like oil and water. Superficial friendships come and go in college, it's not the end of the world.
I would dearly love to hear her side of this saga, that'd be a riot.
-- David Falk, Seattle Soccer Examiner, March 2009
UPDATE: So I pretty much never see the girl at school. Today, was an exception. The Saga continues.
I was making my way to my calculus III class on the right side of the corridor, when BAM, walking in the opposite direction of me, is the girl!
So it's like this:
------->(Me)
<------(her)
I think we both had the same thought in our minds at the time (oh crap, this is awkward!) I try to make eye contact, but she isn't looking in my direction, so we both kinda pretend we didn't see each other because we were further enough apart where we could kinda ignore each other. So it was like we were strangers.
But then on the way out of calculus 3, I turn the corner and BAM. we both just kind of run into each other, like where its unavoidable, because its a narrow crowded corner space....She makes eye contact and does a kinda smile and "hey" type thing, and I return it, but neither of us stop walking or say anything beyond just a quick little "hey"/smile thingy.
What will happen next in the saga? Stay tuned lol.
Out of all the posts in this thread, I think this was the most insightful and helpful. I think you nailed it. She is a laid back, does whatever feels good at the moment type person, with little regards for plans, deadlines, schedules, commitments etc....To support this theory, she was consistently late for class when she was in my class, and she also forgot she had plans with some other gay friend of her one time I was talking to her, her car was a wreck.....she was always late for other stuff too.... She's the type who makes superficial friends, lives in the moment, etc.
I think we are DEAD opposites of each other.
I think you nailed it with your interpretation of her. I really don't think she was creeped out by me, but it was just her personality didn't fit with mine.
But the annoying thing is.....I still like her : (
Like even though our personalities were so different, she was an incredibly interesting and fun person. Like most teenage girls are focused on stupid dumb stuff like Twighlight, makeup, and Northface, and going to the mall and the beach and stuff like that, but this girl was not like your stereotypical teenage girl, which is why i liked her so much.
Just as a note. I often meet a friend of mine at the supermarket where they work. If I wander in just as she's finished I will get told 'oh sorry she's already gone' . What they haven't realised is that she's still in the building, she's just signing off, collecting her things, going to the toilet and everything else she needs to do before actually EXITING the building. Isn't is possible if her car was still there she was out the back getting changed out of her uniform or something?
Managers don't care enough to think beyond ' you're no longer serving customers and thus I don't care where you are '.
Depends on the girl. Does she do this with her other male friends to? If so, this is her expression of friendship.
Probably no diffinative way to do this. Either you develop feelings for her and want to tell her to persue it. Or you say nothing and wait for her to MAYBE one day say it.
Agreed.
Jdin - You should not be writing paragraph long essays about passing this girl in the hallway. You need to stop thinking about this girl.
Dude you creeped the living hell out of her, she blurted the most humiliating, out of this world, crazy stuff JUST! so she could have a reason to explain why she stood you up, girls dont do that unless they think the guy is a creep, hell not even GUYS do that unless they think the girl is wacked beyond reason!
Phone's crap out sure, but in this day an age there's no way her phone constantly fails to receive calls AND messages... whats this 1999?
Also you called her once and she didnt answered, then you called her FROM ANOTHER PHONE! to see if she picked up, she picked up seeing an unlisted number and then got creeped out at your attitude.
Yeah she got scared and with good reason, and everytime someone points it out your answer is "Dang bro! your so right.... blah blah blah" it seems almost like you are trolling here, you are apparently listening, understanding, agreeing and considering our points and yet you still continue in your stalker behavior, you went to a shrink and the dude told you to call with an apology message? yeah that girl surely thought your a crazy guy... awesome Jekil & Hyde moment there bud.
TL;DR: You creep me out, it feels like you are trolling and you got issues.
Yeah, I'm going to mark this thread as a trolling. Whether or not the initial story was true, I'm not believing another word.
Thanks spiderboy and Highlight Studios!!!
My trade thread!
By: ol MISAKA lo
Cockatrice: Infallible
Regardless of who is in the wrong here, one thing is obvious. The chance of romance or even friendship with this girl is extremely unlikely at this point. Avoid her as much as possible. When you do run across her, nod or say hi, then keep going. Anything more is likely an invitation to trouble.
Girls are sensitive, they know it when you like them, they do. They enjoy the attention and they enjoy the feeling of being liked, but what they don't enjoy doing is saying no to a guy who is too deep into them.
I'm a girl and I know what she's thinking:
1. She likes your company, but she doesn't like you enough to want you as her bf.
2. The more you show your interest, the more you turn her off. Girls like bad boys, you heard of it? Keep your cool and you'll be surprised when she starts calling you more often.
Do you get annoyed when your friends treat you like the way she treats you? You'll probably call them once or twice and if they don't pick up you'll just assume they are busy and go do your own stuff right? Try to treat her as a friend. Go spend time with your friends and stuff and forget about her. This way you either forget about her and it doesn't affect you anymore, or she likes you and want to hang out with you more.
Remember, play it cool.
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