By "ignore him" I think many people really mean to say "just stop caring."
Sure, there's no guarantee that if you ignore him then he will stop. But I can guarantee that, if you just stop caring, suddenly you won't care what he does anymore. It's crazy, I know.
Then again, getting through to a thirteen year old is almost impossible. I want to tell you to stop caring what this bully does, or to stop caring how popular you may or may not be if you take this to a teacher, but (ironically) that advice is what you won't care about.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
#define ALWAYS SOMETIMES
#define NEVER RARELY
#define ALL MANY
-=GIVE US SOMETHING TO BELIEVE IN=-
I'm nerd enough to link my WoW Armory Though I'll put it in a small font.
Just stone cold ignore him. Bullies thrive on getting a rise out of people. No response = No Reward for the bully.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Decks in the hopper... Standard - R/G Aggro RG Standard - Book Burning UR Modern - U/W Tempo UW Legacy - Master of Affinity XX Vintage - Burnination RR
All I have to tell you is ignoring and becoming invisible are too different things.
The key to true ignoring (which is the only chance you have) is to act confident.
Kids would always try to beat me up for absolutely no reason because I acted gentle, quiet and without confidence. Unfortunately for them, I'm a pretty tough guy deep down inside.
Don't want to get into fights? Don't do what I did; don't look or act like your a target. This does not mean act so tough they wanna punch you, but rather crack a smile, point out they're being a disrespectful prick, and continue life.
All I can say is this may take time and you will just have to suffer from bullies / jerks while your young, when you grow older, you'll have a better chance of meeting better people. Hang in there.
By "ignore him" I think many people really mean to say "just stop caring."
Sure, there's no guarantee that if you ignore him then he will stop. But I can guarantee that, if you just stop caring, suddenly you won't care what he does anymore. It's crazy, I know.
Then again, getting through to a thirteen year old is almost impossible. I want to tell you to stop caring what this bully does, or to stop caring how popular you may or may not be if you take this to a teacher, but (ironically) that advice is what you won't care about.
The point is to act like you don't care and then drop an immediate punishment for extinction of behavior. This basic behavioral psychology that you find in parenting books and such.
Seriously, look at how parents deal effectively with children. They will give a quick word to stop the behavior, and follow up with an action. The "wait till your father gets home" stuff never works, but the immediate threat of punishment followed up by follow through at the proper time is key. However, as a student the only punishment that's possible is humiliation and attitude or employing an advocate (i. e. narking behind his back and blaming it on someone else in authority).
Just stone cold ignore him. Bullies thrive on getting a rise out of people. No response = No Reward for the bully.
Except he cannot change his emotional reaction to it, and subverting the emotion while the kid kicks up his antics triggers worse psychosomatic problems. Frankly, the kids already hinted on the fact he's gone through an emotional ordeal of some sort and tolerance isn't something people necessarily have when they're at their lowest and someone is trying to abuse that weakness.
Some people will continue bullying, network more bullies, and try even harder to target the "outsider." They then break down their target by wearing down the targets natural anxiety defenses. If you read some of the research, the outcomes aren't pretty.
Examples:
Quote from Internalizing symptoms, anxiety, depression, and eating disorders.[/quote »
In addition to social difficulties, children and adolescents who are repetitively bullied may develop internalizing symptoms.[12] For example, in a study of over 7,000 predominantly African-American and Hispanic middle- and high-school students, Peskin and colleagues found that victims of bullying reported frequent worries, sadness, nervousness, and fearfulness.[12]
Other psychological sequelae may develop in the aftermath of repetitive bullying, including anxiety and depressive symptoms and disorders. With regard to anxiety, in a Finnish study of boys, Sourander and colleagues[13] found that frequent bullying was a predicting factor for anxiety disorders in early adulthood. In support of these data, Gladstone and colleagues found, in men and women who were being seen in an outpatient depression clinic, that childhood bullying was associated with high levels of general state anxiety.[14]
In addition to anxiety, studies indicate a higher risk for depressive symptoms and disorders among the bullied, both during childhood[2,15] and in adulthood.[13] According to Brunstein Klomek and colleagues, frequent bullying may also heighten the risk for suicidal ideation and attempts.[2]
Bullying by peers may also contribute to the development of eating disorders (i.e., anorexia and bulimia nervosa). As an example, in a large Finnish study, Kaltiala-Heino and colleagues found a statistical association between being bullied and development of eating pathology, both in female and male victims.[16] In this latter study, bully victims also had an increased likelihood of evidencing multiple mental disorders (e.g., anxiety, depression; see TABLE 1).
Not worth the time for someone that's in a state to be susceptible to that ☺☺☺☺, this is why I said "ignoring doesn't work." The behavior has to become extinct on his time, and research with ignoring basically states that for some bullies for that to work it can take years. Why put up with that, especially when the kids susceptible to long term conditions? Of course this is why I still advocate stealth narking.
Dude I have been in almost the same situation. Just tell his parents or the teacher. You could always get taken out of the class and have a schedule change. And this is besides the point what state are u in i've didn't know middle school's offered woodshop
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
OM NOM NOM NOM NOM
Ninjas>Pirates
Current deck's
elfdrazi
Jinxed Sniping
Dude I have been in almost the same situation. Just tell his parents or the teacher. You could always get taken out of the class and have a schedule change. And this is besides the point what state are u in i've didn't know middle school's offered woodshop
So...you're telling this kid to basically run away? That's the worst thing he could do. He would never, ever live it down.
Anyway...is "you're drunk" and "you're psycho" the best this kid can come up with? I mean...honestly, this guy doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the box if his janks are that soft. Instead of ignoring him, how about putting him in his place? It doesn't sound like it would be hard.
So...you're telling this kid to basically run away? That's the worst thing he could do. He would never, ever live it down.
Anyway...is "you're drunk" and "you're psycho" the best this kid can come up with? I mean...honestly, this guy doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the box if his janks are that soft. Instead of ignoring him, how about putting him in his place? It doesn't sound like it would be hard.
Arguing with a bully is probably a bad idea especially if other kids are passively supporting the bully.
Don't show emotions in school. It makes you vulnerable to other people who prey on others' emotions. Don't cry, get angry, show your temper, raise your voice. Be calm, avoid him physically and verbally, don't let anyone see you react to him in any other way but calm and logical indifference.
DO go talk to the authorities. When a kid is saying things to another kid about being a drunk or a mental case, it's possibly reflective of something going on in the kids home environment. Turn the tables on this guy and tell an authority figure at school that this kid ruminates negatively on alcoholism and mental illness all the time you are around him. Use the right language to couch your complaint, and it will have Social Services all over this kids family in a heartbeat. His behaviour is the issue of concern here, not yours; that's what you want to convey to the school nurse, principal, school psychologist, or ombudsman.
DO get in good physical shape and learn to run, defend yourself, and be more aware/alert. DO start making some friends and being more social and outgoing, more self-confident, and gain the respect of your peers and teachers. If you turn this kid in to the school authorities, he will catch wind of it and he will have it in for you. Watch your back. The more respect you have from your classmates and teachers, they will also watch your back for you. If you have a reputation for being emotionally sort of "out there" and crying a lot or lashing out at people, you have a LOT of work cut out for you to convince your classmates that you are not deserving this bullying.
DON'T get in shape with the idea you will go beat him up or 'teach him a lesson'. He will shoot you in the face with a gun he stole from his dad's drawer. Or he will wait until nobody is looking and cause you to have an accident. People are like that. Don't escalate the problem, pinch it off with the collective force of reason and social authority. It's far better to be a snitch with friends who will have your back, than a snitch and a whiner who has a big mouth and no fists or friends to back it up.
Arguing with a bully is probably a bad idea especially if other kids are passively supporting the bully.
Don't show emotions in school. It makes you vulnerable to other people who prey on others' emotions. Don't cry, get angry, show your temper, raise your voice. Be calm, avoid him physically and verbally, don't let anyone see you react to him in any other way but calm and logical indifference.
DO go talk to the authorities. When a kid is saying things to another kid about being a drunk or a mental case, it's possibly reflective of something going on in the kids home environment. Turn the tables on this guy and tell an authority figure at school that this kid ruminates negatively on alcoholism and mental illness all the time you are around him. Use the right language to couch your complaint, and it will have Social Services all over this kids family in a heartbeat. His behaviour is the issue of concern here, not yours; that's what you want to convey to the school nurse, principal, school psychologist, or ombudsman.
DO get in good physical shape and learn to run, defend yourself, and be more aware/alert. DO start making some friends and being more social and outgoing, more self-confident, and gain the respect of your peers and teachers. If you turn this kid in to the school authorities, he will catch wind of it and he will have it in for you. Watch your back. The more respect you have from your classmates and teachers, they will also watch your back for you. If you have a reputation for being emotionally sort of "out there" and crying a lot or lashing out at people, you have a LOT of work cut out for you to convince your classmates that you are not deserving this bullying.
DON'T get in shape with the idea you will go beat him up or 'teach him a lesson'. He will shoot you in the face with a gun he stole from his dad's drawer. Or he will wait until nobody is looking and cause you to have an accident. People are like that. Don't escalate the problem, pinch it off with the collective force of reason and social authority. It's far better to be a snitch with friends who will have your back, than a snitch and a whiner who has a big mouth and no fists or friends to back it up.
This is the guy you want to listen to. I'm not sure if the higher authority would help much with being "drunk" issue. For instance my teachers would often aid the bullies at my school because they hated me or thought i was being too sensitive. Never tried social services at that age because i didn't know how to reach them and didn't want to escalate my own situation.
This is definitely emotional bulling; people saying go beat up the bully or out smart him verbally don't understand the problem. There is nothing you can do against a group of kids that are on a bullies side. No matter how stupid, ugly, untalented and uncool he is, if he says 2+3=4 he'll still always be the smarter in the eyes of 13 year olds. If you could manage to beat him up, he will still be stronger. Showing confidence in yourself usually just makes them want to take it from you harder. While hes there, all he wants to do is destroy you. You need to get away from people like that. But please make friends and don't give up on social life. Everythings messed up now, but eventually you'll find better people, trust me.
If you can try working or making something of yourself, i think that would be a good distraction from whats going on around you. When I got to high school after junior high i was so determined not to talk to people, i became really anti-social. Eventually the rumors or whatever about me disappeared, and I became a badass at guitar, and everyone loved me. But I didn't love myself because I let these same 13 year olds get to me, so I've pushed away a lot of potential friends just out of habit. Don't do that to yourself, these guys will be nothing to you later on. Find better people, and if you have to work with an idiot like this, find someone to talk to or someone that can support you.
Just endure through it if nothing else works. Unless he starts getting physical, the advice about making yourself not care is really good.
Back when I was in school, there were retards who did stupid things like this to me. To my surprise, many of them eventually became my friends.
There was one dude who picked on me with his buddy. Most of the time I ignored him but sometimes I fought back, like shooting a spit wad at him. Eventually his buddy moved away and a year later he thought I was funny and cool. Sometimes it just takes time.
Another dude tried to physically irritate me in P.E. I tried best to ignore it and did most of the time. One day I was fed up and we were far away near a baseball fence and I just slammed him as hard as I could against it and pinned him down on it. After that he stopped and to my surprise was nice and became a friend. Sometimes they do it because they percieve you are weaker.
Later, in high school a similar thing happened with a guy trying to push me around, but being more mature I simply didn't care. The school day ends and I don't even see the guy after the class we were in. Eventually he called me the nicest guy he knew and became a good friend of mine. He still picked on people which I didn't like, but he was nice to me. Sometimes, they are just being tards and possibly just trying to get attention because they don't have any friends (or many) themselves.
Every situation is unique and the key is to not let it get to you. Over time there are many reasons why the bully will stop. For one, when you get to ninth grade you may never see him again, or he could be distracted by other things to take up his time (girls). And sometimes it is just immaturity and when they finally grow up they stop.
Just to clarify a bit with what I am trying to get at. Realize internally that the bully is acting stupid and you are awesome, and when he bothers you, think about how he gladly wastes his time to get your attention. This means he secretly thinks highly of you and is either jealous or secretly wishes to be your friend. Then treat him like how a hollywood star might treat some annoying fans. Sometimes the star will sign autographs or pose for the camera even though it may be cumbersome to do so. But in the end the star just wants to be able to live their own life. In the end though, who is the star? You, not the Bully. He wants to intrude in your life, meaning your life is what the audience payed to watch.
Sometimes this happens, but it's not common. More often, after you confront a bully, he will slink away resentful and brood on it, and try to get back at you. It depends. If he's doing it to make an impression on other people, and you set it straight with him in private, he is more likely to come around and have a better attitude, than if you humiliate him in front of his friends, or if there is a particular reason he is fixated on hurting you or humiliating you. Like if his family has a racist attitude against your ethnic group and you best him in a fight, he will resent you more.
Better be safe than sorry and just use reason and rally other people to your side.
Though I will say two people who picked on me in school later became friendly (I can't really say it was a true friendship) after I stood up for myself.
In one case I was warned he was going to beat me up and I headed him off and asked him to play basketball with me instead. We cut class and went to play hoops and shared a pizza.
In another case a guy was pestering me for months saying he was going to do my mom and he and his friends were sticking their hands in my hair and throwing things at my chair. Every afternoon in the hall he and his friends would threaten me and shove me into the wall or pretend to bump into me in the stairwell causing me to fall. I punched him in the face in class. We both got sent home and 3 days suspension. After that we both came back and he was very different, very meek and even offered to help me with some homework after that.
It could have ended very differently both times. I took big risks acting the way I did. Leaving the schoolgrounds with a bully and his friend to go do something off campus is a big risk. They could have beaten me senseless and robbed me and gone on their way. Also, assaulting another student, even when provoked, is considered a crime. You may face a criminal record, or the parents of the bully may try to collect damages. you could ruin your future. Thirty years ago things were a bit different and my decision might have changed if it had been today. But like the above poster says, it's occasionally (not always) possible to reach an understanding with bullies on your own. The key is self confidence and looking for alternatives. If you don't respect yourself, you won't be able to come up with creative ways to distract and redirect bullying.
I would not call it bulling. Sounds like your being trolled.
I'd stop responding to him. Works on trolls most of the time.
I wouldn't call it bulling either, I'd call it bullying.
---
OP, I feel as if you aren't telling us everything. What is the inside joke of this "drunk" comment he constantly pushes on you? Did you say something to make him realize that it bothers you?
Man... 8th grade. I remember when people would get in arguments like this. "You're gay", "no I'm not", "yes you are, you're super gay, get away from me", "I'm not gay", "yeah, you're gay"... I guess "drunk" is the new "gay"? No idea.
You're pretty screwed by the rules of 8th grade logic because you argued with him. If you had agreed "hell yeah man, aren't you drunk?" (we used to respond for the gay comment "hell yeah, boys club in here, am I right? You interested?") you showed that you're upset by the comment (read, you're now a target, it's too late to go back either) and since you keep arguing no matter where he goes, you're just showing your lack of confidence.
You can't fake confidence, you either have it or you don't. Now there are a couple of ways out of this cycle, but none of them are particularly good, because 8th grade logic isn't particularly good. There are some things that definitely work in this situation, but you have to be the right kind of person to do it. I can't rightly give you advice on how to put this kid in his place knowing that he gets to you. If he gets to you like that, you can't shrug it off, you can't put him in his place, and some incident where you try to tell the kid off and wind up breaking down crying or get beat up or something will socially stigmatize you forever.
Man... 8th grade. I remember when people would get in arguments like this. "You're gay", "no I'm not", "yes you are, you're super gay, get away from me", "I'm not gay", "yeah, you're gay"... I guess "drunk" is the new "gay"? No idea.
.
Back in my day, being drunk in class was boss.
Hell, my intire class is drunk on fridays because thursdays are pubnights.
I also think you forgot to mention some details, like why is it bothering you when someone says you're drunk?.
Being a smartass helps, like when he says your drunk yust reply with a well toned:;'' why, yes, yes i am drunk, yust like those guys your mom picks up from bars''
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Thanks to SpiderBoy4 @ High-Light Studio's for the awesome banner
“I once had an entire race killed just to listen to the rattling of their dried bones as I waded through them.” —Volrath
When someone says something ridiculous, the key is to ridicule them. It's in the etymology of the word. (The MORE YOU KNOW! )
You can consider this to be the extension of the logic (8th grade logic!) that 'arguing' it is an absolute Lose. You don't oppose something that had no business being started in the first place.
Two possibilities:
You are in public, or at least the company of others. (Even if they're not really 'with' you, in the sense I'm sure obtains in a Shop class)
You are alone with this person.
If you're alone with the person, all that matters is protecting your psychological self. This means declaring, inwardly or outwardly (whatever you feel content with), "This accusations / statements are baseless and absurd. I'm glad I don't have to take this person seriously at all, and can ignore him as long as we're the only two people here."
There's more to it than that, but it is still simple. However you're not having problems in private, you're having problems with "passive onlookers".
If you're with other people, then what you have to do is, possibly forget about some things you might consider courtesy for a moment, and bring the whole room into the occurrence.
Imagine this exchange:
Kid: "You're drunk"
Me: "Sorry, what?"
("you're drunk" "no")
Kid: "You're drunk and you don't even know it."
Me: *declarative voice* "Alright everyone, it seems our friend/colleague/peer [NAME] here has some important information to reveal. He is claiming that I am, in fact, drunk. He finds it very important that he tell all of us..."
Now hopefully you can see where things go from here. (You may, by personal preference, take the route of denying it outright, or just play along with seeing of the person can 'make his case'.)
You have to take command, take this bully at his words (rather, take the bullying to the word) and expose it for the full measure of absurdity it has.
And it's always, always, not just the fact that the statements are lies or baseless, but rather, that the person is being absurd in saying them.
Of course, these sorts of persons always have the factor of winning the masses over with laughs. Vitriolic laughs, laughs that make schoolkids want to pack loaded rifles in their lockers.
I can see how he might have gone from there "Look at this kid, he's nuts!", perhaps a face turn with "I didn't say anything, he's smearing my name / hearing things / a nutcase!". Again, play it absolutely straight. You know you are faultless - that is why this bullying is wrong, right? So how is it out of character not to say - again, declaratively to everyone in your company - "Oh, sorry - SORRY EVERYONE, it was a misunderstanding, I heard something quite different but I'm glad we cleared this up. Please excuse me. *to the person* I'm very sorry we had this misunderstanding. Now, I was busy with something (and I'm sure you are too...)*return to your work*"
Once you have this kind of confidence, you may be able to pull off righteous indignation - that confronts the misdeed outright - but I tell you only pros can pull that off (i.e., successfully remind people that morals exist. Yes, there is a satirical note of derision (derisive note of satire?) in this parenthetical).
Above anything, I cannot stress enough how much I disagree with SnoopDoggAtog...'s first statement back there. "Never showing your emotion", retreating from the attack, totally ignoring the transgression of Evil being done right in front of you? Inexcusable, for one; but I think you can focus on just this reason sufficient in itself: You will never grow. This bully is beating you down, and what do you want to survive this encounter - his tyranny, or your very self? Why not choose to grow, even if you may fail?
Perhaps he may return with more aggression if you confront him (with indignation) (rather than deflect him, with the performance I outlined above), and perhaps this may get him to bring weapons.
If you could know he would bring weapons, then that would mean it is more right to respond in a way that prevents that, rather than causing that outcome. But I'm going to take a hard line here, in the (more probable) case that you don't know either way: This is what doing Right means. It means opposing Evil actions everywhere, always, for the good of those who will be cheated by it (in this case, cheated out of emotional well-being), because when good people do nothing, Evil flourishes.
... I want to repeat one thing Snoop says, to tie my statements up:
DO go talk to the authorities. When a kid is saying things to another kid about being a drunk or a mental case, it's possibly reflective of something going on in the kids home environment. Turn the tables on this guy and tell an authority figure at school that this kid ruminates negatively on alcoholism and mental illness all the time you are around him. Use the right language to couch your complaint, and it will have Social Services all over this kids family in a heartbeat. His behaviour is the issue of concern here, not yours; that's what you want to convey to the school nurse, principal, school psychologist, or ombudsman.
This is where you extend your Human compassion to what just happened, reflectively (as you should do to all things in your life, being a good person), and Snoop is right that this does give probability to the case that this fellow has a troublesome home life. And so in the same way, you must do what you can to prevent Evil; here, by putting the law (authority) into the know.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
Epic banner by Erasmus of æтђєг.
Awesome avatar provided by Krashbot @ [Epic Graphics].
Put some alcohol or beer in his locker, then report it and get him suspended. As the principal is escorting him to his office, say "Now who's drunk, *****!" Classic...
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
- Let's just say, I've been around since the Ice Age
Put some alcohol or beer in his locker, then report it and get him suspended. As the principal is escorting him to his office, say "Now who's drunk, *****!" Classic...
No. Don't do this, it's a really bad idea and chances are you'll get in more trouble than him.
Private Mod Note
():
Rollback Post to RevisionRollBack
DCI Level 2 Judge
Modern: GRB Jund BRG RBU Grixis Delver UBR Legacy: W Death & Taxes W GRB Punishing Jund BRG GUR Canadian Threshold RUG Commander: RUG Maelstrom Wanderer GUR
Just tell him that you were hitting the bottle with his mom last night or something equally nonchalant as a response to his stupidity. Don't try and be pretentious or reasonable with this kind of person, both of these will likely just get you ridiculed, simply give him back the same sort of ☺☺☺☺ that he gives you. He will eventually either get bored of being a douche toward you or be stupid and try to fight you.
It's understandable blue control players would be shocked and in denial at the notion of this card, since their decks have been dominating multiple formats for an eternity yet they've curiously never once had to deal with any counter-hosers that weren't ineffectual, narrow CRAP.
i wouldn't listen to this guy (that move was nerfed from the last game)
seriously the best thing to do is have confidence in yourself, repeat to yourself every time this happens that it doesn't bother you
from my personal experience insulting him back wont do much it just shows that you are bothered by it
while ignoring it may not work for a while most bullys of this type will let it go eventually
By "ignore him" I think many people really mean to say "just stop caring."
Sure, there's no guarantee that if you ignore him then he will stop. But I can guarantee that, if you just stop caring, suddenly you won't care what he does anymore. It's crazy, I know.
Then again, getting through to a thirteen year old is almost impossible. I want to tell you to stop caring what this bully does, or to stop caring how popular you may or may not be if you take this to a teacher, but (ironically) that advice is what you won't care about.
Though I'll put it in a small font.
Please stop hijacking my reply box.
Standard - R/G Aggro RG
Standard - Book Burning UR
Modern - U/W Tempo UW
Legacy - Master of Affinity XX
Vintage - Burnination RR
Find me on Modo under Tigerbreak
The key to true ignoring (which is the only chance you have) is to act confident.
Kids would always try to beat me up for absolutely no reason because I acted gentle, quiet and without confidence. Unfortunately for them, I'm a pretty tough guy deep down inside.
Don't want to get into fights? Don't do what I did; don't look or act like your a target. This does not mean act so tough they wanna punch you, but rather crack a smile, point out they're being a disrespectful prick, and continue life.
All I can say is this may take time and you will just have to suffer from bullies / jerks while your young, when you grow older, you'll have a better chance of meeting better people. Hang in there.
The point is to act like you don't care and then drop an immediate punishment for extinction of behavior. This basic behavioral psychology that you find in parenting books and such.
Seriously, look at how parents deal effectively with children. They will give a quick word to stop the behavior, and follow up with an action. The "wait till your father gets home" stuff never works, but the immediate threat of punishment followed up by follow through at the proper time is key. However, as a student the only punishment that's possible is humiliation and attitude or employing an advocate (i. e. narking behind his back and blaming it on someone else in authority).
Except he cannot change his emotional reaction to it, and subverting the emotion while the kid kicks up his antics triggers worse psychosomatic problems. Frankly, the kids already hinted on the fact he's gone through an emotional ordeal of some sort and tolerance isn't something people necessarily have when they're at their lowest and someone is trying to abuse that weakness.
Some people will continue bullying, network more bullies, and try even harder to target the "outsider." They then break down their target by wearing down the targets natural anxiety defenses. If you read some of the research, the outcomes aren't pretty.
Examples:
http://www.psychiatrymmc.com/bully-victims-psychological-and-somatic-aftermaths/
Basically, ignoring the problem and internalizing it makes him a really good candidate for stuff from the anxiety disorder family. Couple fun ones:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_anxiety_disorder
The whole shtick:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder
Not worth the time for someone that's in a state to be susceptible to that ☺☺☺☺, this is why I said "ignoring doesn't work." The behavior has to become extinct on his time, and research with ignoring basically states that for some bullies for that to work it can take years. Why put up with that, especially when the kids susceptible to long term conditions? Of course this is why I still advocate stealth narking.
Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
Ninjas>Pirates
Current deck's
elfdrazi
Jinxed Sniping
So...you're telling this kid to basically run away? That's the worst thing he could do. He would never, ever live it down.
Anyway...is "you're drunk" and "you're psycho" the best this kid can come up with? I mean...honestly, this guy doesn't sound like the brightest bulb in the box if his janks are that soft. Instead of ignoring him, how about putting him in his place? It doesn't sound like it would be hard.
Arguing with a bully is probably a bad idea especially if other kids are passively supporting the bully.
Don't show emotions in school. It makes you vulnerable to other people who prey on others' emotions. Don't cry, get angry, show your temper, raise your voice. Be calm, avoid him physically and verbally, don't let anyone see you react to him in any other way but calm and logical indifference.
DO go talk to the authorities. When a kid is saying things to another kid about being a drunk or a mental case, it's possibly reflective of something going on in the kids home environment. Turn the tables on this guy and tell an authority figure at school that this kid ruminates negatively on alcoholism and mental illness all the time you are around him. Use the right language to couch your complaint, and it will have Social Services all over this kids family in a heartbeat. His behaviour is the issue of concern here, not yours; that's what you want to convey to the school nurse, principal, school psychologist, or ombudsman.
DO get in good physical shape and learn to run, defend yourself, and be more aware/alert. DO start making some friends and being more social and outgoing, more self-confident, and gain the respect of your peers and teachers. If you turn this kid in to the school authorities, he will catch wind of it and he will have it in for you. Watch your back. The more respect you have from your classmates and teachers, they will also watch your back for you. If you have a reputation for being emotionally sort of "out there" and crying a lot or lashing out at people, you have a LOT of work cut out for you to convince your classmates that you are not deserving this bullying.
DON'T get in shape with the idea you will go beat him up or 'teach him a lesson'. He will shoot you in the face with a gun he stole from his dad's drawer. Or he will wait until nobody is looking and cause you to have an accident. People are like that. Don't escalate the problem, pinch it off with the collective force of reason and social authority. It's far better to be a snitch with friends who will have your back, than a snitch and a whiner who has a big mouth and no fists or friends to back it up.
This is the guy you want to listen to. I'm not sure if the higher authority would help much with being "drunk" issue. For instance my teachers would often aid the bullies at my school because they hated me or thought i was being too sensitive. Never tried social services at that age because i didn't know how to reach them and didn't want to escalate my own situation.
This is definitely emotional bulling; people saying go beat up the bully or out smart him verbally don't understand the problem. There is nothing you can do against a group of kids that are on a bullies side. No matter how stupid, ugly, untalented and uncool he is, if he says 2+3=4 he'll still always be the smarter in the eyes of 13 year olds. If you could manage to beat him up, he will still be stronger. Showing confidence in yourself usually just makes them want to take it from you harder. While hes there, all he wants to do is destroy you. You need to get away from people like that. But please make friends and don't give up on social life. Everythings messed up now, but eventually you'll find better people, trust me.
If you can try working or making something of yourself, i think that would be a good distraction from whats going on around you. When I got to high school after junior high i was so determined not to talk to people, i became really anti-social. Eventually the rumors or whatever about me disappeared, and I became a badass at guitar, and everyone loved me. But I didn't love myself because I let these same 13 year olds get to me, so I've pushed away a lot of potential friends just out of habit. Don't do that to yourself, these guys will be nothing to you later on. Find better people, and if you have to work with an idiot like this, find someone to talk to or someone that can support you.
Back when I was in school, there were retards who did stupid things like this to me. To my surprise, many of them eventually became my friends.
There was one dude who picked on me with his buddy. Most of the time I ignored him but sometimes I fought back, like shooting a spit wad at him. Eventually his buddy moved away and a year later he thought I was funny and cool. Sometimes it just takes time.
Another dude tried to physically irritate me in P.E. I tried best to ignore it and did most of the time. One day I was fed up and we were far away near a baseball fence and I just slammed him as hard as I could against it and pinned him down on it. After that he stopped and to my surprise was nice and became a friend. Sometimes they do it because they percieve you are weaker.
Later, in high school a similar thing happened with a guy trying to push me around, but being more mature I simply didn't care. The school day ends and I don't even see the guy after the class we were in. Eventually he called me the nicest guy he knew and became a good friend of mine. He still picked on people which I didn't like, but he was nice to me. Sometimes, they are just being tards and possibly just trying to get attention because they don't have any friends (or many) themselves.
Every situation is unique and the key is to not let it get to you. Over time there are many reasons why the bully will stop. For one, when you get to ninth grade you may never see him again, or he could be distracted by other things to take up his time (girls). And sometimes it is just immaturity and when they finally grow up they stop.
Just to clarify a bit with what I am trying to get at. Realize internally that the bully is acting stupid and you are awesome, and when he bothers you, think about how he gladly wastes his time to get your attention. This means he secretly thinks highly of you and is either jealous or secretly wishes to be your friend. Then treat him like how a hollywood star might treat some annoying fans. Sometimes the star will sign autographs or pose for the camera even though it may be cumbersome to do so. But in the end the star just wants to be able to live their own life. In the end though, who is the star? You, not the Bully. He wants to intrude in your life, meaning your life is what the audience payed to watch.
Better be safe than sorry and just use reason and rally other people to your side.
Though I will say two people who picked on me in school later became friendly (I can't really say it was a true friendship) after I stood up for myself.
In one case I was warned he was going to beat me up and I headed him off and asked him to play basketball with me instead. We cut class and went to play hoops and shared a pizza.
In another case a guy was pestering me for months saying he was going to do my mom and he and his friends were sticking their hands in my hair and throwing things at my chair. Every afternoon in the hall he and his friends would threaten me and shove me into the wall or pretend to bump into me in the stairwell causing me to fall. I punched him in the face in class. We both got sent home and 3 days suspension. After that we both came back and he was very different, very meek and even offered to help me with some homework after that.
It could have ended very differently both times. I took big risks acting the way I did. Leaving the schoolgrounds with a bully and his friend to go do something off campus is a big risk. They could have beaten me senseless and robbed me and gone on their way. Also, assaulting another student, even when provoked, is considered a crime. You may face a criminal record, or the parents of the bully may try to collect damages. you could ruin your future. Thirty years ago things were a bit different and my decision might have changed if it had been today. But like the above poster says, it's occasionally (not always) possible to reach an understanding with bullies on your own. The key is self confidence and looking for alternatives. If you don't respect yourself, you won't be able to come up with creative ways to distract and redirect bullying.
I'd stop responding to him. Works on trolls most of the time.
I wouldn't call it bulling either, I'd call it bullying.
---
OP, I feel as if you aren't telling us everything. What is the inside joke of this "drunk" comment he constantly pushes on you? Did you say something to make him realize that it bothers you?
You're pretty screwed by the rules of 8th grade logic because you argued with him. If you had agreed "hell yeah man, aren't you drunk?" (we used to respond for the gay comment "hell yeah, boys club in here, am I right? You interested?") you showed that you're upset by the comment (read, you're now a target, it's too late to go back either) and since you keep arguing no matter where he goes, you're just showing your lack of confidence.
You can't fake confidence, you either have it or you don't. Now there are a couple of ways out of this cycle, but none of them are particularly good, because 8th grade logic isn't particularly good. There are some things that definitely work in this situation, but you have to be the right kind of person to do it. I can't rightly give you advice on how to put this kid in his place knowing that he gets to you. If he gets to you like that, you can't shrug it off, you can't put him in his place, and some incident where you try to tell the kid off and wind up breaking down crying or get beat up or something will socially stigmatize you forever.
Spike School
Spike doesn't think. Spike doesn't feel. Spike doesn't laugh or cry. All Spike does from dusk till dawn is make the Johnnys die
I don't even think being drunk is even an insult.
Back in my day, being drunk in class was boss.
Hell, my intire class is drunk on fridays because thursdays are pubnights.
I also think you forgot to mention some details, like why is it bothering you when someone says you're drunk?.
Being a smartass helps, like when he says your drunk yust reply with a well toned:;'' why, yes, yes i am drunk, yust like those guys your mom picks up from bars''
“I once had an entire race killed just to listen to the rattling of their dried bones as I waded through them.”
—Volrath
You can consider this to be the extension of the logic (8th grade logic!) that 'arguing' it is an absolute Lose. You don't oppose something that had no business being started in the first place.
Two possibilities:
You are in public, or at least the company of others. (Even if they're not really 'with' you, in the sense I'm sure obtains in a Shop class)
You are alone with this person.
If you're alone with the person, all that matters is protecting your psychological self. This means declaring, inwardly or outwardly (whatever you feel content with), "This accusations / statements are baseless and absurd. I'm glad I don't have to take this person seriously at all, and can ignore him as long as we're the only two people here."
There's more to it than that, but it is still simple. However you're not having problems in private, you're having problems with "passive onlookers".
If you're with other people, then what you have to do is, possibly forget about some things you might consider courtesy for a moment, and bring the whole room into the occurrence.
Imagine this exchange:
Kid: "You're drunk"
Me: "Sorry, what?"
("you're drunk" "no")
Kid: "You're drunk and you don't even know it."
Me: *declarative voice* "Alright everyone, it seems our friend/colleague/peer [NAME] here has some important information to reveal. He is claiming that I am, in fact, drunk. He finds it very important that he tell all of us..."
Now hopefully you can see where things go from here. (You may, by personal preference, take the route of denying it outright, or just play along with seeing of the person can 'make his case'.)
You have to take command, take this bully at his words (rather, take the bullying to the word) and expose it for the full measure of absurdity it has.
And it's always, always, not just the fact that the statements are lies or baseless, but rather, that the person is being absurd in saying them.
Of course, these sorts of persons always have the factor of winning the masses over with laughs. Vitriolic laughs, laughs that make schoolkids want to pack loaded rifles in their lockers.
I can see how he might have gone from there "Look at this kid, he's nuts!", perhaps a face turn with "I didn't say anything, he's smearing my name / hearing things / a nutcase!". Again, play it absolutely straight. You know you are faultless - that is why this bullying is wrong, right? So how is it out of character not to say - again, declaratively to everyone in your company - "Oh, sorry - SORRY EVERYONE, it was a misunderstanding, I heard something quite different but I'm glad we cleared this up. Please excuse me. *to the person* I'm very sorry we had this misunderstanding. Now, I was busy with something (and I'm sure you are too...) *return to your work*"
Once you have this kind of confidence, you may be able to pull off righteous indignation - that confronts the misdeed outright - but I tell you only pros can pull that off (i.e., successfully remind people that morals exist. Yes, there is a satirical note of derision (derisive note of satire?) in this parenthetical).
Above anything, I cannot stress enough how much I disagree with SnoopDoggAtog...'s first statement back there. "Never showing your emotion", retreating from the attack, totally ignoring the transgression of Evil being done right in front of you? Inexcusable, for one; but I think you can focus on just this reason sufficient in itself: You will never grow. This bully is beating you down, and what do you want to survive this encounter - his tyranny, or your very self? Why not choose to grow, even if you may fail?
Perhaps he may return with more aggression if you confront him (with indignation) (rather than deflect him, with the performance I outlined above), and perhaps this may get him to bring weapons.
If you could know he would bring weapons, then that would mean it is more right to respond in a way that prevents that, rather than causing that outcome. But I'm going to take a hard line here, in the (more probable) case that you don't know either way: This is what doing Right means. It means opposing Evil actions everywhere, always, for the good of those who will be cheated by it (in this case, cheated out of emotional well-being), because when good people do nothing, Evil flourishes.
... I want to repeat one thing Snoop says, to tie my statements up:
This is where you extend your Human compassion to what just happened, reflectively (as you should do to all things in your life, being a good person), and Snoop is right that this does give probability to the case that this fellow has a troublesome home life. And so in the same way, you must do what you can to prevent Evil; here, by putting the law (authority) into the know.
Awesome avatar provided by Krashbot @ [Epic Graphics].
* sr20's Trade List *
No. Don't do this, it's a really bad idea and chances are you'll get in more trouble than him.
Modern:
GRB Jund BRG
RBU Grixis Delver UBR
Legacy:
W Death & Taxes W
GRB Punishing Jund BRG
GUR Canadian Threshold RUG
Commander:
RUG Maelstrom Wanderer GUR
* sr20's Trade List *
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pBG-dJS0_2Q
Seriously, It's just two quarter circles + kick.
i wouldn't listen to this guy (that move was nerfed from the last game)
seriously the best thing to do is have confidence in yourself, repeat to yourself every time this happens that it doesn't bother you
from my personal experience insulting him back wont do much it just shows that you are bothered by it
while ignoring it may not work for a while most bullys of this type will let it go eventually
thnx to ".torrent" at Heroes of the Plane Studios
Oh and if he hits you (I doubt he will) he will get into alot of trouble and you can press charges.
LOL