Ok, so anyway, as was BOUND to happen, theres a girl in my drivers ed class who I sorta like.
She's a year older than me (schoolwise anyway) and anyway pretty much all we do in that drivers ed class is sit in a very, very hot room and listen to the guy lecture (Driving you do with partners, I'm partnered with a friend of mine, so she and I dont see each other at driving times). We havn't really talk, but I swear I catch her looking straight at me sometimes... although I wonder if she's seeing if I really am looking straight at HER sometimes (which, at times, I am)
Sigh, I have degraded into such a geek this summer. I dont know if I can talk to her, and, being under 21, alchohol, as used by Raj Koothrapali on the Big Bang Theory, is not an option. What's the protocol for approaching her and starting a conversation without appearing too interested or too creepy?
Up until that first drivers ed class I was pretty sure I would have a new girlfriend as soon as I figured out how to gather the mana for one, but now I think I might actually have a chance.
P.S, I'm geeky in thought and a little when I talk. Like (I'm assuming) a large majority of Magic geeks, I look nothing like a stereotypical geek (Ex: Wearing namebrand cloths, clean hair, clean, not covered in acne, etc)
Talk to her to start because just looking at someone tells you nothing other then how they physically appear and to say she is a possible girlfriend is jumping the gun I would say. Anyways be confident when you talk to her and invite her to something so you can talk to her more and get to know her a little possibly. Also the worst thing she can say is no and your right back where you started.
Just approach her at some point, introduce yourself, ask her where she goes to school, and what university she plans on going to or whatever. Casual talk. If that goes well and you two don't leave with a bad impression of each other you can suggest meeting up for a cup of tea or coffee sometime. Start with little things. Who knows, maybe she'll end up being more interested in you than you are in her, or neither of you end up interested, etc. The most important things is to not be nervous about it. You almost never really have anything to lose.
Back where I started? If you mean, trying about a million other different strategies online (anything from "the tough guy approach" to any number of Wicca love rituals. YES we've established the fact that I am a desperate and lonely geek) then I suppose you would be right...
Still, the whole premise of this was basically asking HOW I do what you just suggested I do above. How do I talk to her? How do I invite her someplace (we're only like, 14, you know. She might be 15, but still)
Walk up and say 'Hi, what's up?'. If she brushes you off (unlikely if you don't come off as desperate after the first several moments) then move on.
If she does start to talk to you, try and hold a normal conversation with her. If she shows signs of flirting, then you can flirt back. Don't go from talking about tv shows (or any mundane topic) to asking her out. Girls generally like to accept male invitations on their own terms, so if she feels trapped / pressured, it's likely she'll say no when put on the spot.
Sometimes these things take time. Sometimes they never get off the ground. Either way, just act normal and go from there.
Oh if you're only 14 then it's basically a total crapshoot because most adolescents have very little perspective (as would be expected) when it comes to any sort of relationship with the opposite sex, heh. So even the most "perfectly crafted" approach may fail miserably just because you have a PS3 instead of a Xbox 360. Anyways...
Just walk up to her and say 'hi I'm Anubis Ravenheart.' Actually I suggest using your real name because Anubis, while a sexy name, is probably too LARP-ish to appeal to adolescents unless they are into cosplay, in which case you can basically just say "hi" and within two days neither of you will be virgins. But I digress.
Once you have delivered your self-introduction, move on to step two: benign questioning! "What do you think of these classes?" "What kind of car are your folks letting you drive?" "Did you know that in Knights of the Old Republic they say Chewbacca had a speech impediment and couldn't speak normally so basically that means Han Solo didn't just speak "wookiee" he spoke "mentally handicapped wookiee?" That sort of stuff.
OK I have to run but if you need the other steps I'll add them later.
Umm, I CANNOT TALK TO ATTRACTIVE WOMEN! At least, those I like... especially after my first girlfriend, I have HUGE under confidence when trying to approach a woman I am interested in going out with.
Besides, Sciros, I already know what school she goes to, and dont you think asking her about her college plans is, well, a little nerdy? Besides, I dont really drink coffee, and tea isn't really my thing all the time...
If you believe you can't talk to attractive women, then you can't. Don't let your mind defeat you before you even reach step 1. Fear is the mind killer.
The worst case scenario is that she rejects you. While this sounds harsh, keep in mind that she's one girl out of like 3.5 billion. Also, rejection gets easier each time (sort of like a level in a video game you keep dying in until you figure out the formula to beating the level boss)
^^^^
Only on a MTGS board would I use that comparison.
First off, yes, fear is the mind killer. I believe this became apparent to me after about the 7th time my friend beat me over the head with Severed Legion back when we were first learning how to play.
Second, umm, no. For me, I die, then die some more, then go look up cheat codes online or on forums... which is what would bring me here.
Third, I can indeed talk to attractive women, just not ones I have a crush on and certainly not ones who are in my drivers ed class, a year older than me and never talked to me before at all.
being under 21, alchohol, as used by Raj Koothrapali on the Big Bang Theory, is not an option
love the reference and i know the position your in quite well i think most ppl have been at this point in their life.
you say you have trouble talking to girls but in all honesty this fear will pass, but you have to work to get through it. even if it means when you go to talk to her you stumble or are a little awkward alot of girls find this cute and will give you a chance.
you can go into the conversation with a little confidence believing she has been looking at you. use that to bring yourself to talk to her and who knows it could be the start of something great.
If you believe you can't talk to attractive women, then you can't. Don't let your mind defeat you before you even reach step 1. Fear is the mind killer.
The worst case scenario is that she rejects you. While this sounds harsh, keep in mind that she's one girl out of like 3.5 billion. Also, rejection gets easier each time (sort of like a level in a video game you keep dying in until you figure out the formula to beating the level boss)
^^^^
Only on a MTGS board would I use that comparison.
He speaks the truth bro. Ive been rejected plenty of times and it is not a huge deal anymore. Im down for like one afternoon and then i go out and play magic and all is well Talking with girls also gets easier the more you talk to. It is fairly easy for me anymore to talk to just about any girl but i remember quite clearly years ago when i asked out a girl for the first time and found out exactly what people mean by "weak knees".
Umm, again, no, for me it indeed does not get easier. At this point I suppose I should be glad I dont spend a few weeks moping and listening to emo songs and dragging my friends and family to the pet shop to look at cats.
Well, tommorow is the last day of drivers ed this week, I suppose I should talk to her, but I just dont know what to say. I mean, we really dont know each other at all, how do I start?
All I know how to do is say a girl looks like the beautiful Princess Penchali. And that only works on chicks of indian descent... (another big bang theory reference.)
Umm, again, no, for me it indeed does not get easier. At this point I suppose I should be glad I dont spend a few weeks moping and listening to emo songs and dragging my friends and family to the pet shop to look at cats.
Well, tommorow is the last day of drivers ed this week, I suppose I should talk to her, but I just dont know what to say. I mean, we really dont know each other at all, how do I start?
All I know how to do is say a girl looks like the beautiful Princess Penchali. And that only works on chicks of indian descent... (another big bang theory reference.)
Based on what you have said before and the continuous Big Bang Theory references (which i can appreciate), you have not had a HUGE experience with girls... It WILL get easier, you gotta trust me. Start off with a simple "Hey, what's up?" and carry the conversation from there. Bring it to anything you want whether it be drivers ed, school, cars, friends, hobbies, mtgs (though this not entirely recommended ) and carry it from there. If something clicks, and you will know when it does, casually ask her out. If nothing happens, get to know her better, be friends, and maybe something will happen down the road.
The absolute worst thing that can happen is that she will shrug you off at which point you just walk away and forget about it. She was not meant to be at that point in time.
Good luck
P.S. Almost forgot some stuff. Guess what? The prettier the girl, the more intimidating she can be to guys and therefor TYPICALLY gets asked out a lot less than the average looking girl. What this means is that your chances are higher there than it would be with average looking girls. Just saying
We can all find a million different ways of saying, "Turn doorknob clockwise, and pull", but it won't work unless you do it. And if all you're going to do is say, "No, I can't", then there's not a whole lot we can do here. Either you are going to eventually go ahead and try to open that door, or you're just going to continue to sit in the same place and continue to ask us to help you open the door. You can either take this handful of posts you have right now, or wait until the thread gets to be 90 pages in length, and you will still be faced with that same situation, and it will not get any easier because you already know what it is you need to do. Nothing is going to help you to do something if you're not going to try.
If you're looking for a way to go into the unfamiliar and the risky and the scary without feeling like you're doing something that's unfamiliar and risky and scary, that doesn't exist. The only roads that are safe are the ones that keep you doing the same thing you're doing now. You need to jump in. That's the only way this works. Seriously, just go talk to her.
Okay, you're 14. She's a 15 year old girl. Gel up your hair and cover yourself in flour and glitter and stand outside in the sun and yell " I AM EDWARD". Works everytime.
Seriously though, just talk to her as you're leaving the class or something. Walking out you can make a comment about the class and turn it into small talk. If you get into a conversation but her mom pulls up in a minivan, just say something like "Oh, looks like we'll have to continue this another time?" and smile. If she smiles back and says a positive word (definately etc) you're good to go. After the next time you talk, find some common ground and go for that. Say you both like pizza, ask her if she'd be interested in going to a pizza place after class or something. It's not hard it's just frightening at your age. These things will become natural with time.
The way you say, "I can't" with such conviction, I'd think you were a deaf-mute. But as it is, you're really just patronizing deaf-mutes.
Also, if you don't have the initiative to make small sacrifices like drinking a little tea for the opportunity to get to know a girl better, than you're probably not crushing as bad as you thought.
Just quit putting the opposite sex on a pedestal and you won't have to wake up an old and embittered man-geek some day.
Ok, I think I'm liking the guy who said I should move to canada. Although actually, if I remember right, it is traditional for people in Britain to drink in small amounts around 15-16??? something like that I think.
This thread is so extremely full of win, now, Isn't it? I think I would have to agree with it being moved to humor. And no, Banalicious Hero, I was saying that people my age around here usually dont go out for tea or something.
Speaking of vampires, I went 2-3 (good for me anyway, seeming as it was my first time) in the standard tournement today, only losing 0-2 once and winning 2-0 once. (Malakir Bloodwitch is so full of win. Nocturnus surprising did not help me one bit. Maybe the ones I was borrowing just didn't like me)
But back on topic, all I've really gotten is that I should man up and say hi. Good. But should I open with a joke or something?
Don't open with a joke, that's really tacky. Open with a simple hi, and you should see if she's interested immediately. If you can't, then continue with small talk. If she starts talking back, smiling, doing anything obviously flirtatious, then add a joke in - but nothing stupid! I.E:
You: Hey
Her: Hey
*small talk about the weather*
You: A man walked into a bar, he said "ouch"
*awkward silence*
You: What do you call a hobo who sleeps in front of your door? Mat!
*awkward silence*
You: Um... a man walked into a bar and came out with an egg!
*she walks away face palming*
Add in something like, "you know, last night I lay down on my bed, looked up to the skies and thought to myself, where the ☺☺☺☺ is my roof???" But make sure it fits in... so lead the conversation towards something philisophical or relating to opinions.
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if she doesn't it is no loss as there are other girls out there. trust me it took a long time to figure this one out.
the more you are yourself the better you will do.
secondly she isn't a goddess that will strike you dead if you displeas her. she is a teenage girl and about your age. don't be stupid and act normal and you will be fine.
better yet don't worry about her at all. you have a lot of time in your life for women. just go have fun and the rest will follow. to many teenagers get hooked up on dating and miss the rest of their life because of it.
just go have fun with your friends and don't worry about the rest of it. that will come in time.
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its hard to just go up and introduce yourself...before you go try the direct approach, does she sit near you? If she does, then the old fashion "hey this guy is F***ING boring, how was your day?" approach works ridiculously well
If she doesn't then try to find out what she likes to do (but don't go to the level of stalking) then maybe you guys might have some connection
She sits fairly near, but not near enough to use the hey this guy is boring approach (which, I'm glad you mentioned as it is indeed a great strategy.)
Ok, @dantcg, your dialog was hilarious.
Anyways I'll try something on monday, unless its a good idea to try talking over facebook and then have a continuation of whatever we ended up talking about on monday...
She's a year older than me (schoolwise anyway) and anyway pretty much all we do in that drivers ed class is sit in a very, very hot room and listen to the guy lecture (Driving you do with partners, I'm partnered with a friend of mine, so she and I dont see each other at driving times). We havn't really talk, but I swear I catch her looking straight at me sometimes... although I wonder if she's seeing if I really am looking straight at HER sometimes (which, at times, I am)
Sigh, I have degraded into such a geek this summer. I dont know if I can talk to her, and, being under 21, alchohol, as used by Raj Koothrapali on the Big Bang Theory, is not an option. What's the protocol for approaching her and starting a conversation without appearing too interested or too creepy?
Up until that first drivers ed class I was pretty sure I would have a new girlfriend as soon as I figured out how to gather the mana for one, but now I think I might actually have a chance.
P.S, I'm geeky in thought and a little when I talk. Like (I'm assuming) a large majority of Magic geeks, I look nothing like a stereotypical geek (Ex: Wearing namebrand cloths, clean hair, clean, not covered in acne, etc)
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Still, the whole premise of this was basically asking HOW I do what you just suggested I do above. How do I talk to her? How do I invite her someplace (we're only like, 14, you know. She might be 15, but still)
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If she does start to talk to you, try and hold a normal conversation with her. If she shows signs of flirting, then you can flirt back. Don't go from talking about tv shows (or any mundane topic) to asking her out. Girls generally like to accept male invitations on their own terms, so if she feels trapped / pressured, it's likely she'll say no when put on the spot.
Sometimes these things take time. Sometimes they never get off the ground. Either way, just act normal and go from there.
Just walk up to her and say 'hi I'm Anubis Ravenheart.' Actually I suggest using your real name because Anubis, while a sexy name, is probably too LARP-ish to appeal to adolescents unless they are into cosplay, in which case you can basically just say "hi" and within two days neither of you will be virgins. But I digress.
Once you have delivered your self-introduction, move on to step two: benign questioning! "What do you think of these classes?" "What kind of car are your folks letting you drive?" "Did you know that in Knights of the Old Republic they say Chewbacca had a speech impediment and couldn't speak normally so basically that means Han Solo didn't just speak "wookiee" he spoke "mentally handicapped wookiee?" That sort of stuff.
OK I have to run but if you need the other steps I'll add them later.
Besides, Sciros, I already know what school she goes to, and dont you think asking her about her college plans is, well, a little nerdy? Besides, I dont really drink coffee, and tea isn't really my thing all the time...
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The worst case scenario is that she rejects you. While this sounds harsh, keep in mind that she's one girl out of like 3.5 billion. Also, rejection gets easier each time (sort of like a level in a video game you keep dying in until you figure out the formula to beating the level boss)
^^^^
Only on a MTGS board would I use that comparison.
Second, umm, no. For me, I die, then die some more, then go look up cheat codes online or on forums... which is what would bring me here.
Third, I can indeed talk to attractive women, just not ones I have a crush on and certainly not ones who are in my drivers ed class, a year older than me and never talked to me before at all.
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love the reference and i know the position your in quite well i think most ppl have been at this point in their life.
you say you have trouble talking to girls but in all honesty this fear will pass, but you have to work to get through it. even if it means when you go to talk to her you stumble or are a little awkward alot of girls find this cute and will give you a chance.
you can go into the conversation with a little confidence believing she has been looking at you. use that to bring yourself to talk to her and who knows it could be the start of something great.
He speaks the truth bro. Ive been rejected plenty of times and it is not a huge deal anymore. Im down for like one afternoon and then i go out and play magic and all is well Talking with girls also gets easier the more you talk to. It is fairly easy for me anymore to talk to just about any girl but i remember quite clearly years ago when i asked out a girl for the first time and found out exactly what people mean by "weak knees".
Well, tommorow is the last day of drivers ed this week, I suppose I should talk to her, but I just dont know what to say. I mean, we really dont know each other at all, how do I start?
All I know how to do is say a girl looks like the beautiful Princess Penchali. And that only works on chicks of indian descent... (another big bang theory reference.)
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Based on what you have said before and the continuous Big Bang Theory references (which i can appreciate), you have not had a HUGE experience with girls... It WILL get easier, you gotta trust me. Start off with a simple "Hey, what's up?" and carry the conversation from there. Bring it to anything you want whether it be drivers ed, school, cars, friends, hobbies, mtgs (though this not entirely recommended ) and carry it from there. If something clicks, and you will know when it does, casually ask her out. If nothing happens, get to know her better, be friends, and maybe something will happen down the road.
The absolute worst thing that can happen is that she will shrug you off at which point you just walk away and forget about it. She was not meant to be at that point in time.
Good luck
P.S. Almost forgot some stuff. Guess what? The prettier the girl, the more intimidating she can be to guys and therefor TYPICALLY gets asked out a lot less than the average looking girl. What this means is that your chances are higher there than it would be with average looking girls. Just saying
We can all find a million different ways of saying, "Turn doorknob clockwise, and pull", but it won't work unless you do it. And if all you're going to do is say, "No, I can't", then there's not a whole lot we can do here. Either you are going to eventually go ahead and try to open that door, or you're just going to continue to sit in the same place and continue to ask us to help you open the door. You can either take this handful of posts you have right now, or wait until the thread gets to be 90 pages in length, and you will still be faced with that same situation, and it will not get any easier because you already know what it is you need to do. Nothing is going to help you to do something if you're not going to try.
If you're looking for a way to go into the unfamiliar and the risky and the scary without feeling like you're doing something that's unfamiliar and risky and scary, that doesn't exist. The only roads that are safe are the ones that keep you doing the same thing you're doing now. You need to jump in. That's the only way this works. Seriously, just go talk to her.
You can!
You WILL!
You MUST!
Close your eyes if you have to. It doesn't have to lead to a relationship. Just say hi, for god's sake. That's all it takes.
Seriously though, just talk to her as you're leaving the class or something. Walking out you can make a comment about the class and turn it into small talk. If you get into a conversation but her mom pulls up in a minivan, just say something like "Oh, looks like we'll have to continue this another time?" and smile. If she smiles back and says a positive word (definately etc) you're good to go. After the next time you talk, find some common ground and go for that. Say you both like pizza, ask her if she'd be interested in going to a pizza place after class or something. It's not hard it's just frightening at your age. These things will become natural with time.
Thanks to syndarion of Aeternal Studios for the awesome Sig.
Standard: MWLC All-InFect Illusion Control(MTGO)
EDH(MODO): :symg::symu::symb:The Mimeoplasm:symg::symu::symb: 6-2-0 in 4player
A) he's 14
b) he's trying to ask out a girl where he is.
c) how does your comment add anything?
I still think just saying hello is the best course of action. If you get friendly you can invite her out to something. Easy as pie.
Thanks to syndarion of Aeternal Studios for the awesome Sig.
Standard: MWLC All-InFect Illusion Control(MTGO)
EDH(MODO): :symg::symu::symb:The Mimeoplasm:symg::symu::symb: 6-2-0 in 4player
Also, if you don't have the initiative to make small sacrifices like drinking a little tea for the opportunity to get to know a girl better, than you're probably not crushing as bad as you thought.
Just quit putting the opposite sex on a pedestal and you won't have to wake up an old and embittered man-geek some day.
Temporarily retired from the game
Thanks a bunch to Rivenor from Miraculous Recovery Signatures for the awesome sigpic!
Rage quit reason of the moment:
This thread is so extremely full of win, now, Isn't it? I think I would have to agree with it being moved to humor. And no, Banalicious Hero, I was saying that people my age around here usually dont go out for tea or something.
Speaking of vampires, I went 2-3 (good for me anyway, seeming as it was my first time) in the standard tournement today, only losing 0-2 once and winning 2-0 once. (Malakir Bloodwitch is so full of win. Nocturnus surprising did not help me one bit. Maybe the ones I was borrowing just didn't like me)
But back on topic, all I've really gotten is that I should man up and say hi. Good. But should I open with a joke or something?
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You: Hey
Her: Hey
*small talk about the weather*
You: A man walked into a bar, he said "ouch"
*awkward silence*
You: What do you call a hobo who sleeps in front of your door? Mat!
*awkward silence*
You: Um... a man walked into a bar and came out with an egg!
*she walks away face palming*
Add in something like, "you know, last night I lay down on my bed, looked up to the skies and thought to myself, where the ☺☺☺☺ is my roof???" But make sure it fits in... so lead the conversation towards something philisophical or relating to opinions.
Temporarily retired from the game
Thanks a bunch to Rivenor from Miraculous Recovery Signatures for the awesome sigpic!
Rage quit reason of the moment:
if she doesn't it is no loss as there are other girls out there. trust me it took a long time to figure this one out.
the more you are yourself the better you will do.
secondly she isn't a goddess that will strike you dead if you displeas her. she is a teenage girl and about your age. don't be stupid and act normal and you will be fine.
better yet don't worry about her at all. you have a lot of time in your life for women. just go have fun and the rest will follow. to many teenagers get hooked up on dating and miss the rest of their life because of it.
just go have fun with your friends and don't worry about the rest of it. that will come in time.
Thanks to Epic Graphics the best around.
Thanks to Nex3 for the avatar visit ye old sig and avatar forum
If she doesn't then try to find out what she likes to do (but don't go to the level of stalking) then maybe you guys might have some connection
Ok, @dantcg, your dialog was hilarious.
Anyways I'll try something on monday, unless its a good idea to try talking over facebook and then have a continuation of whatever we ended up talking about on monday...
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