I finally decided that honestly, at 15, any sort of relationship I could find would be short and unsatisfactory, and it's probably not worth my time... Just sayin.
I finally decided that honestly, at 15, any sort of relationship I could find would be short and unsatisfactory, and it's probably not worth my time... Just sayin.
I think it's a wise choice. Mostly in the "being content with yourself" department, because at your age getting to know yourself better is priceless, and you'll know what you want sooner and better than most of your peers. I tip my hat to you.
He is saying it would be good experience in regards to relationships and probably just understanding women in general better.
Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm saying. Also, it's good to have a couple of bad relationships so you know what you don't want in a woman, and what you do. It's like looking at a spoiled Magic card... you don't really know how good it is until you've played with it.
On that note, just enjoying being single is really good too! I didn't mean to sound like you don't have a choice in the matter. I personally was intentionally single for a couple years because I realised I wasn't getting what I wanted out of my relationships. Then when I met my wife, I knew she was what I wanted. I guess I just figure you need to know what you want before you can properly make that choice to be single. Don't give up based on the fact that you're nervous in social situations.
Being social is a LEARNED SKILL. You need to learn how to do it. If you avoid it, you will never be good at it.
Let's flip it on it's head, and make asking this girl out like playing a game of magic. No one is born knowing how to play MTG. They see it, and they want to play it. So you get some cards togehter, sit down, and get blown outyour first game.
You're response basically boils down to "Well, I guess I'll never play MTG again, I'll bus myself with other things, because obviously me + MTG cards = disaster"
Interesting analogy. But I've known people that played M:tG for years and still suck terribly at it. Maybe they have gotten better than using crap like Wall of Bone but they will never compete at a high level. Similarly, many people will never be socially adept. Saying "just do it and you can get good at it" is false. You can get better at it, but you may never get good at it.
Interesting analogy. But I've known people that played M:tG for years and still suck terribly at it. Maybe they have gotten better than using crap like Wall of Bone but they will never compete at a high level. Similarly, many people will never be socially adept. Saying "just do it and you can get good at it" is false. You can get better at it, but you may never get good at it.
You have to TRY, not just be content with where your currently at. Just saying, thats what seperates good players from bad players, the desire to achieve...
Anyway, I basically DID have a few bad relationships, and now I decided I don't want that again...
I have not really enjoyed being single, honestly, as much as I've tried, but neither did I like being in any relationships I was in, so, unless anyone knows any sort of other state thats not either illegal or weird, I guess I'm kind of going to be relatively dissapointed with this kind of life...
I finally decided that honestly, at 15, any sort of relationship I could find would be short and unsatisfactory, and it's probably not worth my time... Just sayin.
Your first 5 relationships will be wonderful, messy, full of love and hate, easy and drama fueled, end nicely and have you crying to sleep for months.
So you should ask yourself, so you want to have those 5 now, or when you're 30?
You need dating EXPERIENCE to figure what you like about a person and what you want in a significant other. RIght now, you have no idea what you want, other than "she's hot", the most basic instinct. So do you like girls who are introverted, extroverted, who agree with you, challenge you, share your interests or bring new interests into the mix, like to talk all the time or only want to talk ocasionally, and on and on and on.
Just to bring MTG back into it, you never know what colors or decks you like to play until you sit down and start playing with all of them. You're answer is "I've decided anything I do could result in me not liking it, so I'm not going to bother" which is a terrible way to live life, and is letting your fear and self doubt control you.
At some point you need to step up and be in charge of your life, not the other way around. And there's no time in your life that is more forgiving of screw up then when you are a teenager, so now is the BEST time to do it.
I think it's a wise choice. Mostly in the "being content with yourself" department, because at your age getting to know yourself better is priceless, and you'll know what you want sooner and better than most of your peers. I tip my hat to you.
He's not content with himself. He's letting his fear control his actions. That is the anthithesis of "being content with yourself"
I have not really enjoyed being single, honestly, as much as I've tried, but neither did I like being in any relationships I was in, so, unless anyone knows any sort of other state thats not either illegal or weird, I guess I'm kind of going to be relatively dissapointed with this kind of life...
If you think by age 15 and having a few bad experiences that you've explored and have experience with all the possible kinds relationships a man and woman can have, you are deluding yourself. You can hide behind excuses all day, but it doesn't change anything.
But I KNEW what colors of decks I liked to play almost the instant I got into magic... (JUND FTW!)
But I suppose that's besides the point.
I wonder how you can know what my first 5 relationships will be like, as already, in the first 2, none of those really applied...
letsee, my first relationship ended in disaster after 3 days, was never easy, and, instead of having me cry in my sleep for months, dissillusioned me about the world and the whole social thing at school.
My second relationship was distant, awkward, and never really took off...
If I can even bring this thread back on topic at all, I think it pretty much ended about 2 pages back, but I'll say again, it was clear she didn't like me, and I figured out I do not like shy girls, and I do not like trying to get back into the dating scene, after never really being in it. Lesson learned, case closed.
But I KNEW what colors of decks I liked to play almost the instant I got into magic... (JUND FTW!)
But I suppose that's besides the point.
I wonder how you can know what my first 5 relationships will be like, as already, in the first 2, none of those really applied...
letsee, my first relationship ended in disaster after 3 days, was never easy, and, instead of having me cry in my sleep for months, dissillusioned me about the world and the whole social thing at school.
My second relationship was distant, awkward, and never really took off...
If I can even bring this thread back on topic at all, I think it pretty much ended about 2 pages back, but I'll say again, it was clear she didn't like me, and I figured out I do not like shy girls, and I do not like trying to get back into the dating scene, after never really being in it. Lesson learned, case closed.
Maybe you just want this thread to die, but I feel compelled to write in again, so sorry for that. A three day relationship doesn't really count and neither does a relationship that "never really took off". Sorry, but your experience with this sort of thing is too minimal to say that you can't be happy while dating. I'm not trying to push you to get a date, I'm sure you have enough other pressures in life to worry about and it's honestly not that important that you should stress over it. I'm just saying that you shouldn't give up on girls all together. Finding a good girl to spend some quality time with can be very rewarding, so you want to be ready when you find her.
Ok, heres about this thread. Basically, at the time I made it, I WAS trying to get a date, got some very, very good advice that will definitely help me if I ever decide to try again in the future, and tried to follow through on it. However, I can tell that she just does not like me, so I decided to simply cease and desist.
The rest of this thread seems, strangely, to be people trying to talk me down from this anti-dating viewpoint, which seems really weird when I was fairly certain the general consensus on this site was that 15 was a little too young for dating. Which, honestly, I don't agree with, but I just don't want to be dating, it's scary, it's confusing, and honestly, I would rather just continue to play magic and other such stuff.
Dating's not for everyone, but "it's too hard" is a bad reason to avoid something. If you want to be with a girl in that way, like you honestly feel you need that role filled in your life, then you ought to work through it because the rewards are pretty great. If that's not the case, don't worry about it, having fun playing games instead.
As for being too young or whatever, it's all about what you're looking for. Dating becomes very different things as you mature and your desires shift. As long as everyone's clear on what's being sought in the relationship, I wouldn't say 15 is too young.
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My anecdotal evidence disagrees with yours! EXPLAIN THAT!
Dating's not for everyone, but "it's too hard" is a bad reason to avoid something. If you want to be with a girl in that way, like you honestly feel you need that role filled in your life, then you ought to work through it because the rewards are pretty great. If that's not the case, don't worry about it, having fun playing games instead.
I used to feel like I needed that role filled in my life. Then I stopped feeling.
haha, sorry, I just had to (if you don't get the reference, it's a rip off a shirt that says "I used to think T.V was bad for me. So I stopped thinking.)
Anyway, I do kind of feel that way, but it's like, I'm just too unmotivated to. So, yeah, the original purpose of this thread is moot, just sayin.
However, I can tell that she just does not like me
How does "mumbling hi and getting a weird look" let you know she does not like you? You never intriduced yourself, you never got any feedback, you never asked her out, you basically did nothing.
So I had a sort of funny experience with a shy girl in my philosophy class. So I thought I was getting hints, she kept looking at me and playing with her hair. And we talked and laughed a lot in class. So then after a while, I ended up asking her out to dinner. She said maybe, and then said she would text me when she got her work schedule. Never texted me hehe. I think they just suck, because I don't think I was misinterpreting those things she did in class.
I'll put this bluntly. If a really cool, unique guy went up to a normal girl, and is ugly, he's weird. if he goes up and is hot, then he's cool and unique.
Standard
It's like watching grass grow, except it's ridculously expensive.
@Tendrils: OMG, I know EXACTLY what you mean! This has pretty much been the whole history of all my relationships...
It was like that with this one girl back in seventh grade, gave me signs all year, then I ask her out and she was like never...
So yeah, relationships suck, and really, this thread has completely outlived it's purpose... just saying.
The other things that is stupid, is we are both 19 and in college so I guess she is just stupid or something. Its not immaturity or that crappy high school thing where you both look at a each other a lot and, nothing ever happens. Such a waste of my time.
Keep your chin up though, because just cuz all the girls you have liked suck, doesn't mean they all suck. Eventually you will just click with a chick when you least expect, so just chill and enjoy life until then.
I'll put this bluntly. If a really cool, unique guy went up to a normal girl, and is ugly, he's weird. if he goes up and is hot, then he's cool and unique.
Standard
It's like watching grass grow, except it's ridculously expensive.
Thanks Tendrils... (although, still, I still maintain that relationships suck... even though I did complain that I needed a date the other day to my friends.... such a hypocrite... ohwell)
Thanks Tendrils... (although, still, I still maintain that relationships suck... even though I did complain that I needed a date the other day to my friends.... such a hypocrite... ohwell)
Anyway, yeah. this thread now needs to die.
I've avoided posting in this thread as best I can (I think I did a pretty good job too), but I'd just like to point out that if you want the thread to die, maybe, just maybe you shouldn't bump it.
Also since I'm here, a 3 day relationship and one that "never took off" don't really count, you really don't know if dating is not for you, you just need to aim for different girls, girls that are already friends are better for shy guys like you, don't ask out a girl you barely know when you yourself admit you're not good with stuff like that. I completely respect if you don't want to date anymore, take some time for yourself, but don't give up on something like love just because you've gone after the wrong girls. You can interact with girls as only friends (my best friend is a girl I talk about anime with) try that, sex honestly isn't that important at your age. Also I'd recommend, like I do to everyone, hit the gym, it does wonders for every aspect of your life.
td;lr- don't seek drama, you get plenty of that later, just be a kid.
Except I'm in High School, a place known for being the most dramatic place anyone will ever be...
Anyway's since it seems like this thread keeps getting posted on because people post and then I, being the somewhat codependant person I am, have to reply... heres the resolution:
So, today, I pretty much got it figured out. Although it's a slow, gradual process, I am, actually, moving towards another (or, some on this thread would say, my first) relationship. Who knows when, who knows how, but since I'm deciding to make some changes (I'm taking your advice kind of Linvala. While I like gym class, I hate gyms because I'm always embarrassed that people are watching me try to figure out how to use the equipment. I am going to, however, start working out.) and I'm just going to try and be a more upbeat, positive, social person (actually asked on facebook if anyone wanted to go see a movie tomorrow! Yay socialness!) so, I feel pretty good about myself in that department now.
So, yup, that's it, set on a path towards success. And I will keep all the great advice you guys gave me when I do find someone, so thanks all for wonderful advice...
It really is like magic... and as cheesy as this analogy is, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it...
While I like gym class, I hate gyms because I'm always embarrassed that people are watching me try to figure out how to use the equipment.
Hah, I cannot count how many times I've had thoughts similar to this kind of thing.
It gets a lot easier to be social once you get to college so that should help you - I was pretty shut in during nearly all of high school but I've doing a lot more with friends after I got to college. It's good that you're starting now though, so you won't have to just "turn it on" when you leave high school.
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Haha, thanks for the Input Feathas... this thread's kinda resolved though...
For anyone who's interested, I DID end up getting stuck in a bathroom at my friends house due to a busted doornob and talking about it ended up getting me going in the right direction with an UN-shy girl... so things are lookin pretty good.
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Umm... What?
Sorry, maybe Im a little out of it right now, but I dont get the context.
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He is saying it would be good experience in regards to relationships and probably just understanding women in general better.
Thanks to Magus of the Sheep at Scuttlemutt Productions for the best ever sig.
I think it's a wise choice. Mostly in the "being content with yourself" department, because at your age getting to know yourself better is priceless, and you'll know what you want sooner and better than most of your peers. I tip my hat to you.
Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm saying. Also, it's good to have a couple of bad relationships so you know what you don't want in a woman, and what you do. It's like looking at a spoiled Magic card... you don't really know how good it is until you've played with it.
On that note, just enjoying being single is really good too! I didn't mean to sound like you don't have a choice in the matter. I personally was intentionally single for a couple years because I realised I wasn't getting what I wanted out of my relationships. Then when I met my wife, I knew she was what I wanted. I guess I just figure you need to know what you want before you can properly make that choice to be single. Don't give up based on the fact that you're nervous in social situations.
Interesting analogy. But I've known people that played M:tG for years and still suck terribly at it. Maybe they have gotten better than using crap like Wall of Bone but they will never compete at a high level. Similarly, many people will never be socially adept. Saying "just do it and you can get good at it" is false. You can get better at it, but you may never get good at it.
You have to TRY, not just be content with where your currently at. Just saying, thats what seperates good players from bad players, the desire to achieve...
Anyway, I basically DID have a few bad relationships, and now I decided I don't want that again...
I have not really enjoyed being single, honestly, as much as I've tried, but neither did I like being in any relationships I was in, so, unless anyone knows any sort of other state thats not either illegal or weird, I guess I'm kind of going to be relatively dissapointed with this kind of life...
And I can't even drink yet!
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CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
Your first 5 relationships will be wonderful, messy, full of love and hate, easy and drama fueled, end nicely and have you crying to sleep for months.
So you should ask yourself, so you want to have those 5 now, or when you're 30?
You need dating EXPERIENCE to figure what you like about a person and what you want in a significant other. RIght now, you have no idea what you want, other than "she's hot", the most basic instinct. So do you like girls who are introverted, extroverted, who agree with you, challenge you, share your interests or bring new interests into the mix, like to talk all the time or only want to talk ocasionally, and on and on and on.
Just to bring MTG back into it, you never know what colors or decks you like to play until you sit down and start playing with all of them. You're answer is "I've decided anything I do could result in me not liking it, so I'm not going to bother" which is a terrible way to live life, and is letting your fear and self doubt control you.
At some point you need to step up and be in charge of your life, not the other way around. And there's no time in your life that is more forgiving of screw up then when you are a teenager, so now is the BEST time to do it.
He's not content with himself. He's letting his fear control his actions. That is the anthithesis of "being content with yourself"
If you think by age 15 and having a few bad experiences that you've explored and have experience with all the possible kinds relationships a man and woman can have, you are deluding yourself. You can hide behind excuses all day, but it doesn't change anything.
But I suppose that's besides the point.
I wonder how you can know what my first 5 relationships will be like, as already, in the first 2, none of those really applied...
letsee, my first relationship ended in disaster after 3 days, was never easy, and, instead of having me cry in my sleep for months, dissillusioned me about the world and the whole social thing at school.
My second relationship was distant, awkward, and never really took off...
If I can even bring this thread back on topic at all, I think it pretty much ended about 2 pages back, but I'll say again, it was clear she didn't like me, and I figured out I do not like shy girls, and I do not like trying to get back into the dating scene, after never really being in it. Lesson learned, case closed.
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CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
Maybe you just want this thread to die, but I feel compelled to write in again, so sorry for that. A three day relationship doesn't really count and neither does a relationship that "never really took off". Sorry, but your experience with this sort of thing is too minimal to say that you can't be happy while dating. I'm not trying to push you to get a date, I'm sure you have enough other pressures in life to worry about and it's honestly not that important that you should stress over it. I'm just saying that you shouldn't give up on girls all together. Finding a good girl to spend some quality time with can be very rewarding, so you want to be ready when you find her.
Ok, heres about this thread. Basically, at the time I made it, I WAS trying to get a date, got some very, very good advice that will definitely help me if I ever decide to try again in the future, and tried to follow through on it. However, I can tell that she just does not like me, so I decided to simply cease and desist.
The rest of this thread seems, strangely, to be people trying to talk me down from this anti-dating viewpoint, which seems really weird when I was fairly certain the general consensus on this site was that 15 was a little too young for dating. Which, honestly, I don't agree with, but I just don't want to be dating, it's scary, it's confusing, and honestly, I would rather just continue to play magic and other such stuff.
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CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
As for being too young or whatever, it's all about what you're looking for. Dating becomes very different things as you mature and your desires shift. As long as everyone's clear on what's being sought in the relationship, I wouldn't say 15 is too young.
I used to feel like I needed that role filled in my life. Then I stopped feeling.
haha, sorry, I just had to (if you don't get the reference, it's a rip off a shirt that says "I used to think T.V was bad for me. So I stopped thinking.)
Anyway, I do kind of feel that way, but it's like, I'm just too unmotivated to. So, yeah, the original purpose of this thread is moot, just sayin.
WUBRGCommander Decklists - PaperWUBRG
CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
How does "mumbling hi and getting a weird look" let you know she does not like you? You never intriduced yourself, you never got any feedback, you never asked her out, you basically did nothing.
It was like that with this one girl back in seventh grade, gave me signs all year, then I ask her out and she was like never...
So yeah, relationships suck, and really, this thread has completely outlived it's purpose... just saying.
WUBRGCommander Decklists - PaperWUBRG
CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
The other things that is stupid, is we are both 19 and in college so I guess she is just stupid or something. Its not immaturity or that crappy high school thing where you both look at a each other a lot and, nothing ever happens. Such a waste of my time.
Keep your chin up though, because just cuz all the girls you have liked suck, doesn't mean they all suck. Eventually you will just click with a chick when you least expect, so just chill and enjoy life until then.
Anyway, yeah. this thread now needs to die.
WUBRGCommander Decklists - PaperWUBRG
CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop
I've avoided posting in this thread as best I can (I think I did a pretty good job too), but I'd just like to point out that if you want the thread to die, maybe, just maybe you shouldn't bump it.
Also since I'm here, a 3 day relationship and one that "never took off" don't really count, you really don't know if dating is not for you, you just need to aim for different girls, girls that are already friends are better for shy guys like you, don't ask out a girl you barely know when you yourself admit you're not good with stuff like that. I completely respect if you don't want to date anymore, take some time for yourself, but don't give up on something like love just because you've gone after the wrong girls. You can interact with girls as only friends (my best friend is a girl I talk about anime with) try that, sex honestly isn't that important at your age. Also I'd recommend, like I do to everyone, hit the gym, it does wonders for every aspect of your life.
td;lr- don't seek drama, you get plenty of that later, just be a kid.
Anyway's since it seems like this thread keeps getting posted on because people post and then I, being the somewhat codependant person I am, have to reply... heres the resolution:
So, today, I pretty much got it figured out. Although it's a slow, gradual process, I am, actually, moving towards another (or, some on this thread would say, my first) relationship. Who knows when, who knows how, but since I'm deciding to make some changes (I'm taking your advice kind of Linvala. While I like gym class, I hate gyms because I'm always embarrassed that people are watching me try to figure out how to use the equipment. I am going to, however, start working out.) and I'm just going to try and be a more upbeat, positive, social person (actually asked on facebook if anyone wanted to go see a movie tomorrow! Yay socialness!) so, I feel pretty good about myself in that department now.
So, yup, that's it, set on a path towards success. And I will keep all the great advice you guys gave me when I do find someone, so thanks all for wonderful advice...
It really is like magic... and as cheesy as this analogy is, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it...
I think I'm pretty close to a great topdeck.
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Bahahaha! This gets my vote for corniest post of the year!
But seriously, I'm glad to hear you're happy.
And if their is such a thing, PLEASE nominate it! I would love to receive any sort of award!
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It gets a lot easier to be social once you get to college so that should help you - I was pretty shut in during nearly all of high school but I've doing a lot more with friends after I got to college. It's good that you're starting now though, so you won't have to just "turn it on" when you leave high school.
For anyone who's interested, I DID end up getting stuck in a bathroom at my friends house due to a busted doornob and talking about it ended up getting me going in the right direction with an UN-shy girl... so things are lookin pretty good.
WUBRGCommander Decklists - PaperWUBRG
CCCCCommander Decklists - TheorycraftCCCC
Sig Credit: Pegasus Bishop