I'm 20, so it's not some crazy 16 year old shenanigans but I'm still pretty nervous everything will not work out. My girlfriend wants to keep the baby and that's fine since I expected her too, but I tried everything to make this not happen but still it did >_<. Can't fool nature I guess....
I'm 20, so it's not some crazy 16 year old shenanigans but I'm still pretty nervous everything will not work out. My girlfriend wants to keep the baby and that's fine since I expected her too, but I tried everything to make this not happen but still it did >_<. Can't fool nature I guess....
I just have noooo idea what to do from here V_V.
First, congratulations!
Enjoy it while the house is quiet.
That's my biggest piece of advice.
Next, kids are more durable than adults. So just roll with it.
Finally, do research. Lots. It might not do you or the baby any good (it probably will though), but it will convince the GF that you aren't 12.
20 may be a bit young to have your first child. But remember, if everyone waited until they were financially and emotionally ready to have kids, no one would be having kids.
As long as you and your girlfriend make your child your highest priority, you will be just fine. I have a 4 year old daughter and my second child is on the way.
Right now, you may be freaking about how you are going to have a huge responsibility. But a year from now, I guarantee, you will be so overjoyed to have a child that you will wonder how you could live without any kids.
20 may be a bit young to have your first child. But remember, if everyone waited until they were financially and emotionally ready to have kids, no one would be having kids.
I was no better prepared at 28 than I was at 20 and now that they are a little older I wish I was younger. Being a young parent has its advantages!
Yeah, my girlfriend has 2 jobs, I have 1 job and college (and magic :D! haha) and really, this is what I'm worrying about.
1. I've never experienced being with any other girl than my current girlfriend. Honestly, I'm pretty nervous I'll get bored with her...even though that sounds so horrible V_V, I know how bad it sounds but there is no other way to put it. We've been together for 6 months for now.
2. Being a father in college! Blah!
3. Not being able to be emotionally ready for this. I've been through a lot in life, and I'm not exactly the best at saving money (but my girlfriend is), and I like to think I'm not a bum since I try my absolute best to do what I can to help myself succeed...I'm nervous I"ll be an unfit father, I'll cave and leave my girlfriend, she'll cave and leave me...
Also, my mom and I aren't exactly the closest kids. I'm sure the internet isn't the best place to go for advice, but believe it or not I'd much rather talk to you guys about it than my parents. They know of course, but I cannot go to them for advice.
1. Take the money you are using to play magic and start buying diaper, wipes and formula. Start saving up now. more so on formula unless your g/f is able to feed the baby herself. You will need about a year supply before they can start having regular milk.
diapers you are going to run through like no one's business.
same with baby wipes.
i highly suggest taking birth classes.
Honestly, I'm pretty nervous I'll get bored with her
To bad you are stuck with her for the next 18+ years.
whether in a relationship or not you have a kid. it is better to get along with her than to not.
you have responsibilities now.
I know how bad it sounds but there is no other way to put it.
trust me it isn't as bad as you think it is. as long as you are doing your job you can avoid the a judge telling you what you have to pay. getting a long with the girl you got pregnant is important.
i seriously doubt you could afford child support payments.
Not being able to be emotionally ready for this.
no one really is. at least not the first time.
I'll cave and leave my girlfriend, she'll cave and leave me...
While this is a possibility i don't suggest it. this kid is going to need you more so if you end up having a daughter. you are going to play a huge roll in their lives whether you think you are or not.
you play a bigger role than what you think you do.
They know of course, but I cannot go to them for advice.
you better make amends on this one and fast. you are going to need your parents support. your g/f has 2 jobs and you have a job and in college. someone has to watch the kid. day care on a newborn will run you 500+ dollars a month or more(depending on location).
you are going to need your parents and probably hers to help take care of this child while you are working and in class.
sorry man but this is real life and time to step up to the plate.
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1. Take the money you are using to play magic and start buying diaper, wipes and formula. Start saving up now. more so on formula unless your g/f is able to feed the baby herself. You will need about a year supply before they can start having regular milk.
diapers you are going to run through like no one's business.
same with baby wipes.
i highly suggest taking birth classes.
To bad you are stuck with her for the next 18+ years.
whether in a relationship or not you have a kid. it is better to get along with her than to not.
you have responsibilities now.
trust me it isn't as bad as you think it is. as long as you are doing your job you can avoid the a judge telling you what you have to pay. getting a long with the girl you got pregnant is important.
i seriously doubt you could afford child support payments.
no one really is. at least not the first time.
While this is a possibility i don't suggest it. this kid is going to need you more so if you end up having a daughter. you are going to play a huge roll in their lives whether you think you are or not.
you play a bigger role than what you think you do.
you better make amends on this one and fast. you are going to need your parents support. your g/f has 2 jobs and you have a job and in college. someone has to watch the kid. day care on a newborn will run you 500+ dollars a month or more(depending on location).
you are going to need your parents and probably hers to help take care of this child while you are working and in class.
sorry man but this is real life and time to step up to the plate.
Oh I have my parents support, it's just their advice is sub-par to me usually. They have given my some advice, but usually they just throw money at me and tell me to go away...if you know how those parents are.
My g/fs' dad died when she was really young and she only has her mom, who is being supportive.
That makes sense that I need to get a long with her. Like you said...and like I have researched (well, depending on different things...) I can't afford child support payments so I know I will be there for my girlfriend no matter what happens.
It will be very interesting having to literally grow up in about 7 and a half months (she's 6 weeks pregnant right now).
I just hope I can handle it, but like you said no one ever feels they are...
I don't spend money on magic anymore (I have a pretty massive trade collection that I can use to get whatever I want), and we have WIC (I live in Pennsylvania) that will give her 2400$ a month since she's a teen mother (she's 18) until the baby is 5. For the things you said of course.
I'm not worried about money at all, unless I leave her and she pursues child support payments. More-so the responsibility/stress.
My sister is 16, and having her second kid. From a second father, who already left. She lives at home with no job. If she can keep her babies alive an healthy, I'm sure you can manage. Good luck.
It's a little scary at first, but if you decide that you are going to be responsible and actively be there for the child, then you will.
Do: Read Parenting Books, esp for dads. Encourage her to Breastfeed. Prevent further pregnancies!!!
Don't: Watch Teen mom and do anything those hoodrats do.
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My sister is 16, and having her second kid. From a second father, who already left. She lives at home with no job. If she can keep her babies alive an healthy, I'm sure you can manage. Good luck.
And don't shake it.
I'm sure your intentions are good when giving this advice. But I don't think it is good advice to say something along the lines, "Don't worry, if you aren't ready to have a kid, your parents and the taxpayers will help you support it."
I'm father of a three month girl. And I'm in love with her! Is a joy!
Now, my advice is don't panic. Babies are more durable that what you think: at early age, they only eat, sleep and poop. And that's ALL. The analogy my wife and I used is a Tamagotchi (and that's the nickname for my baby :p). So don't worry. Is fairly easy, yet very, veeery exhaustive.
The first real stress comes when they start walking, because you'll start facing possible injuries. After you get used to that, next step is getting along with other kids at school/neighborhood, as fights could happen. After you get used to that, the teens is the hardest part of being a father. But you'll have plenty of time to get prepared for that.
Good luck! Enjoy this! Everything will be fine when you hear him/her laughing and telling you "daddy".
You need worry about the pregnancy at first. This is a very delicate time for her (especially if this is her first). The more you are there for her when she feels ugly, fat, tired, bloated, etc; 2 things will happen. You will see more in her, and she will see more in you. If you choose to blow off her "times of need" you will probably end up being the weekend parent.
I do not agree with buying diapers now. You do not know what will happen in the next 8 months. If she loses the baby (happens more and more), you will be out alot of money. Get a piggy bank and put the money that you would use to buy diapers, formula, wipes, etc in there so that when the time comes, you will have alot saved up.
In the off-chance that she loses the baby, fair warning. Hormones kick in for her and she'll blamer herself and she'll feel she let you down. Also, she'll want to try again. If you do not want to, you need to express that.
Enjoy your freedom and sleep now. When the baby is born, it's all gone. But let me tell you, no infinite combo or T3 win can even come close to the first time your baby smiles at you, or crawls, or says dada.
As for your personal feelings towards the baby's mama. You need to sit down and truly discuss these things with her. She'll be able to tell soon enough. Don't put her through that kind of discussion when she is 5 months pregnant. It's not fair to her or the baby inside.
Lastly, Good luck, you'll need it. I'm no longer with my wife. But I love my daughter and see her as much as possible.
My advice: Since you can't stock up on sleep stock up on caffeine. The first few months are going to be one of the most harrowing times of your life. It's going to seem like a blur after it's all over but while you're experiencing it it's going to drag on like it will never end.
Long nights of calming a crying baby will lead to zombie days. Keep your activities to a minimum and sleep when you can. Get lots of easy to prepare meals since nobody is going to have the energy to cook. Get family and friends to help out doing things like grocery shopping and laundry.
Eventually you'll all hit a rhythm and things will settle down. The first night the baby doesn't wake up (or get waken up by you) to eat will be amazing since I guarantee you will sleep like the dead.
All of this sounds scary and it really is. Being a new parent is the ultimate test of your sanity and your feelings of self-worth. Keep your parents on speed dial so you can call them when you're feeling helpless and need some encouragement; they've done it before and can let you know that you are going to make it. It really is all worth it though. I've got a two year old who is absolutely amazing. Watching her grow over these two years has been absolutely magical and I wouldn't give it up for all the sleep in the world.
Start reading up on welfare if your parents don't have deep pockets, the child will cost a tidy fortune before it's the size of a walnut. I'd also suggest not getting married until after the child is in school, or at least until you have stable real employment. Depending on which way welfare goes if you have to rely on it, being married adds in its own calculus and in some cases can block you from specific services for a single mother.
Some other factors:
1. Yearly garage sales are your friend, especially in rich neighborhoods. I recommend this to anything with a baby on the way. You'll never know what baby stuff you'll find.
2. Church sales are good as well
3. Look on Craig's list for old furniture like a changing table, can sometimes find them free. You have 9 months to hoard such things.
4. Make friends with other parents and form social bonds and if you can and get a list of babysitters.
I'd also take a good look at your area of major and job stability, if you're an engineering major something of that like you'll be alright. If it's something like creative writing, switch to something faster and more productive like nursing, a trade with an apprenticeship for a trade like plumbing, or an emerging science that you can get a bachelors degree and immediately get a good paying job.
She's also at the very beginning of the pregnancy, the question I have is what do her parents think? Sometimes it might just be easier to give the custody of the child up to a relative if things prove to become unstable. Granted, I've seen a widow with six kids get a masters degree with only one of her children in jail and the rest successful and still retire early. So it really comes down to your social connections and your work ethic.
Do not start World War III with your in laws, and if the "lawyer games" get good advice and diplomatically settle fast and wisely. Because it will drain your wallet, and your soul.
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Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
I know you aren't the closest, but you are going to need help, especially if you are still in school. The worst mistake you could make is dropping out of school, which is what will happen if you don't have a support network in place before the kid is born.
I suggest you watch movies that make kids look like demons to brainwash her (and don't watch the endings so that she thinks they're always evil1)
Problem Child
Problem Child 2
Problem Child 3
The Chuckie series
Nothing with cute kids though, just crazy ugly ones. Then she'll want to have an abo or put the kid up for adoption, and everybody wins!!!! (except for the kid...)
I had my daughter when I was 20, so I know how you feel. My daughter will be 2 in a couple of weeks - and to be totally honest all work aside it's more fun than anything else. Yea, she's a brat and she gets in to trouble - but it's a ton of fun. There's no real advice that anyone can give you except for to relax. Surprisingly enough most of your best parenting decisions will come from level-headedness. The more panicked you are, the more panicked you will become and it's a needless cycle.
Another thing is to play on who's going to watch her while she's younger (born to a year or so). If you guys plan on watching her, and not going with a baby sitter you need to mess with your sleeping schedule before hand. A lot of people who have new babies claim to be constantly tired and stuff like that. The number one rule is that one of you should always be sleeping while the baby is sleeping. If you try to maintain your normal sleep schedule you WILL always be tired.
In an eight player game, is anything good? Don't you just sit there countering combos until someone genesis waves for 42 after all the blue players tap out fighting over a bribery?
I had my daughter when I was 20, so I know how you feel. My daughter will be 2 in a couple of weeks - and to be totally honest all work aside it's more fun than anything else. Yea, she's a brat and she gets in to trouble - but it's a ton of fun. There's no real advice that anyone can give you except for to relax. Surprisingly enough most of your best parenting decisions will come from level-headedness. The more panicked you are, the more panicked you will become and it's a needless cycle.
Another thing is to play on who's going to watch her while she's younger (born to a year or so). If you guys plan on watching her, and not going with a baby sitter you need to mess with your sleeping schedule before hand. A lot of people who have new babies claim to be constantly tired and stuff like that. The number one rule is that one of you should always be sleeping while the baby is sleeping. If you try to maintain your normal sleep schedule you WILL always be tired.
Wow thank you! Are you still with your girlfriend?
Thanks for all the tips guys! I would quote every single post if I could.
I definitely know I have to stay in school. Laughably, I am an English major, because I love to write...should I really switch?
You guys rock :)! Thanks again for all the help you guys give me.
This topic is helping me through this haha. I am excited, but still 110% scared :(.
EDIT: To Captain Morgan, I really appreciate that as well! Like I said, my g/fs dad died when she was very young, so I never got to meet him. Her mom is fine with it, and likes me. We have talked about breaking up and that we would just do it to decrease stress and increase the chance of succeeding with the baby.
I'm just really worried! Thanks for the tip about buying things though, that helps a lot.
You guys need to talk about your future with her beyond the kid. You have legal rights to the child, but it can get very ugly very fast. If you already think you cannot handle a true commitment to her alone, then you are already in trouble.
You really need to support her and show you will be a good father no matter what happens between you. However, you also need to realize your relationship is only going to get harder and more strained from here.
I suggest you watch movies that make kids look like demons to brainwash her (and don't watch the endings so that she thinks they're always evil1)
Problem Child
Problem Child 2
Problem Child 3
The Chuckie series
Nothing with cute kids though, just crazy ugly ones. Then she'll want to have an abo or put the kid up for adoption, and everybody wins!!!! (except for the kid...)
You are terrible.
Goodluck, I hate kids but I know it'll be different for mine (My sister had her first kid at 18, still lived at home for a few years and is horrible at raising kids, her idea of a babysitter was (and still is) coming to our house with the kids and leaving without them, with no way to reach her, saying she told the 8 year old she was leaving so it's ok.) But I am dead scared of that time in my life and I wish you courage.
Wow thank you! Are you still with your girlfriend?
Thanks for all the tips guys! I would quote every single post if I could.
I definitely know I have to stay in school. Laughably, I am an English major, because I love to write...should I really switch?
You guys rock :)! Thanks again for all the help you guys give me.
This topic is helping me through this haha. I am excited, but still 110% scared :(.
EDIT: To Captain Morgan, I really appreciate that as well! Like I said, my g/fs dad died when she was very young, so I never got to meet him. Her mom is fine with it, and likes me. We have talked about breaking up and that we would just do it to decrease stress and increase the chance of succeeding with the baby.
I'm just really worried! Thanks for the tip about buying things though, that helps a lot.
Yea. I am still with her. We argue, but so does everyone else. And to be honest the amount of not seeing eye-to-eye has decreased significantly over the last year.
In an eight player game, is anything good? Don't you just sit there countering combos until someone genesis waves for 42 after all the blue players tap out fighting over a bribery?
I definitely know I have to stay in school. Laughably, I am an English major, because I love to write...should I really switch?
Sort of, you'd need certifications of some sort like your secondary education level I certification or a masters to teach college or have some good minor(s). In this economy, if you went the education rout it'd be useful to have a second language and the special education certifications combined with some reading certification thingie.
I would talk to businesses around your area about what sort of minor you should try for or switch your major and then minor in English. A lot of stuff deals with finance and computers these days, sales is becoming more online oriented as well. Writing combined with technical skills is becoming important.
I'm wondering if you could get to working some where and have them actually pay for your bachelor's degree. I have a nephew that had an associates degree from a community college dealing with computers, and he had favorable job opportunities offer to pay for his bachelors degree and other certifications. I'm not suggesting you go to that direction, but a similar way is something that can work for some people.
There's also going into the ROTC program and entering the military as an officer. The starting wage of an officer is 60k/yearly, but you're also dealing with a time where the military equally wants to cut back or will cut back over the next 10 years.
There's also training courses through some youth program I forget it's name for people under 24, might want to look into that as well if something interests you outside of college or for your girlfriend.
Sort of, you'd need certifications of some sort like your secondary education level I certification or a masters to teach college or have some good minor(s). In this economy, if you went the education rout it'd be useful to have a second language and the special education certifications combined with some reading certification thingie.
I would talk to businesses around your area about what sort of minor you should try for or switch your major and then minor in English. A lot of stuff deals with finance and computers these days, sales is becoming more online oriented as well. Writing combined with technical skills is becoming important.
I'm wondering if you could get to working some where and have them actually pay for your bachelor's degree. I have a nephew that had an associates degree from a community college dealing with computers, and he had favorable job opportunities offer to pay for his bachelors degree and other certifications. I'm not suggesting you go to that direction, but a similar way is something that can work for some people.
There's also going into the ROTC program and entering the military as an officer. The starting wage of an officer is 60k/yearly, but you're also dealing with a time where the military equally wants to cut back or will cut back over the next 10 years.
There's also training courses through some youth program I forget it's name for people under 24, might want to look into that as well if something interests you outside of college or for your girlfriend.
This is unnecessary. I'm also majoring in English. To be more specific I'm double majoring in Creative Writing and Journalism. You can do what you want with a degree - but you have to realize that for making money you won't be using your degree. You'll be using the fact that you have a Bachelor's (not necessarily in English, just in general).
For example, I'm working my way up where I work now. I've all ready spoken to my manager about being career oriented. It's not my first pick, but it's comforting to have the job security. You need to, first of all, find a job that starts above minimum wage. Not necessarily by much, mind you, but at least a little bit. Most retail places will (Target, Toys R Us, etc.) start you at min. wage, but give you more/bigger raises than fast food places - and they're also easy to break in to. If you're hard working enough, after a while you need to speak to your supervisor about being career oriented. Explaining your situation to them - because they're likely to identify that since you have a kid on the way, you're likely to need the job security - and therefore work harder.
Don't change your major, though. It's unnecessary.
In an eight player game, is anything good? Don't you just sit there countering combos until someone genesis waves for 42 after all the blue players tap out fighting over a bribery?
This is unnecessary. I'm also majoring in English. To be more specific I'm double majoring in Creative Writing and Journalism. You can do what you want with a degree - but you have to realize that for making money you won't be using your degree. You'll be using the fact that you have a Bachelor's (not necessarily in English, just in general).
Currently, engineering is pretty much the only way to earn a solid wage immediately exiting college.
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I'm 20, so it's not some crazy 16 year old shenanigans but I'm still pretty nervous everything will not work out. My girlfriend wants to keep the baby and that's fine since I expected her too, but I tried everything to make this not happen but still it did >_<. Can't fool nature I guess....
I just have noooo idea what to do from here V_V.
First, congratulations!
Enjoy it while the house is quiet.
That's my biggest piece of advice.
Next, kids are more durable than adults. So just roll with it.
Finally, do research. Lots. It might not do you or the baby any good (it probably will though), but it will convince the GF that you aren't 12.
WUBRGPauper Battle BoxWUBRG ... and why I am not a fan of Wayne Reynolds' Illustrations.
As long as you and your girlfriend make your child your highest priority, you will be just fine. I have a 4 year old daughter and my second child is on the way.
Right now, you may be freaking about how you are going to have a huge responsibility. But a year from now, I guarantee, you will be so overjoyed to have a child that you will wonder how you could live without any kids.
I was no better prepared at 28 than I was at 20 and now that they are a little older I wish I was younger. Being a young parent has its advantages!
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1. I've never experienced being with any other girl than my current girlfriend. Honestly, I'm pretty nervous I'll get bored with her...even though that sounds so horrible V_V, I know how bad it sounds but there is no other way to put it. We've been together for 6 months for now.
2. Being a father in college! Blah!
3. Not being able to be emotionally ready for this. I've been through a lot in life, and I'm not exactly the best at saving money (but my girlfriend is), and I like to think I'm not a bum since I try my absolute best to do what I can to help myself succeed...I'm nervous I"ll be an unfit father, I'll cave and leave my girlfriend, she'll cave and leave me...
Also, my mom and I aren't exactly the closest kids. I'm sure the internet isn't the best place to go for advice, but believe it or not I'd much rather talk to you guys about it than my parents. They know of course, but I cannot go to them for advice.
just some points of advice from a father of 3.
1. Take the money you are using to play magic and start buying diaper, wipes and formula. Start saving up now. more so on formula unless your g/f is able to feed the baby herself. You will need about a year supply before they can start having regular milk.
diapers you are going to run through like no one's business.
same with baby wipes.
i highly suggest taking birth classes.
To bad you are stuck with her for the next 18+ years.
whether in a relationship or not you have a kid. it is better to get along with her than to not.
you have responsibilities now.
trust me it isn't as bad as you think it is. as long as you are doing your job you can avoid the a judge telling you what you have to pay. getting a long with the girl you got pregnant is important.
i seriously doubt you could afford child support payments.
no one really is. at least not the first time.
While this is a possibility i don't suggest it. this kid is going to need you more so if you end up having a daughter. you are going to play a huge roll in their lives whether you think you are or not.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/02/080212095450.htm
you play a bigger role than what you think you do.
you better make amends on this one and fast. you are going to need your parents support. your g/f has 2 jobs and you have a job and in college. someone has to watch the kid. day care on a newborn will run you 500+ dollars a month or more(depending on location).
you are going to need your parents and probably hers to help take care of this child while you are working and in class.
sorry man but this is real life and time to step up to the plate.
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Oh I have my parents support, it's just their advice is sub-par to me usually. They have given my some advice, but usually they just throw money at me and tell me to go away...if you know how those parents are.
My g/fs' dad died when she was really young and she only has her mom, who is being supportive.
That makes sense that I need to get a long with her. Like you said...and like I have researched (well, depending on different things...) I can't afford child support payments so I know I will be there for my girlfriend no matter what happens.
It will be very interesting having to literally grow up in about 7 and a half months (she's 6 weeks pregnant right now).
I just hope I can handle it, but like you said no one ever feels they are...
I don't spend money on magic anymore (I have a pretty massive trade collection that I can use to get whatever I want), and we have WIC (I live in Pennsylvania) that will give her 2400$ a month since she's a teen mother (she's 18) until the baby is 5. For the things you said of course.
I'm not worried about money at all, unless I leave her and she pursues child support payments. More-so the responsibility/stress.
And don't shake it.
Do: Read Parenting Books, esp for dads. Encourage her to Breastfeed. Prevent further pregnancies!!!
Don't: Watch Teen mom and do anything those hoodrats do.
I'm sure your intentions are good when giving this advice. But I don't think it is good advice to say something along the lines, "Don't worry, if you aren't ready to have a kid, your parents and the taxpayers will help you support it."
I'm father of a three month girl. And I'm in love with her! Is a joy!
Now, my advice is don't panic. Babies are more durable that what you think: at early age, they only eat, sleep and poop. And that's ALL. The analogy my wife and I used is a Tamagotchi (and that's the nickname for my baby :p). So don't worry. Is fairly easy, yet very, veeery exhaustive.
The first real stress comes when they start walking, because you'll start facing possible injuries. After you get used to that, next step is getting along with other kids at school/neighborhood, as fights could happen. After you get used to that, the teens is the hardest part of being a father. But you'll have plenty of time to get prepared for that.
Good luck! Enjoy this! Everything will be fine when you hear him/her laughing and telling you "daddy".
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I do not agree with buying diapers now. You do not know what will happen in the next 8 months. If she loses the baby (happens more and more), you will be out alot of money. Get a piggy bank and put the money that you would use to buy diapers, formula, wipes, etc in there so that when the time comes, you will have alot saved up.
In the off-chance that she loses the baby, fair warning. Hormones kick in for her and she'll blamer herself and she'll feel she let you down. Also, she'll want to try again. If you do not want to, you need to express that.
Enjoy your freedom and sleep now. When the baby is born, it's all gone. But let me tell you, no infinite combo or T3 win can even come close to the first time your baby smiles at you, or crawls, or says dada.
As for your personal feelings towards the baby's mama. You need to sit down and truly discuss these things with her. She'll be able to tell soon enough. Don't put her through that kind of discussion when she is 5 months pregnant. It's not fair to her or the baby inside.
Lastly, Good luck, you'll need it. I'm no longer with my wife. But I love my daughter and see her as much as possible.
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Long nights of calming a crying baby will lead to zombie days. Keep your activities to a minimum and sleep when you can. Get lots of easy to prepare meals since nobody is going to have the energy to cook. Get family and friends to help out doing things like grocery shopping and laundry.
Eventually you'll all hit a rhythm and things will settle down. The first night the baby doesn't wake up (or get waken up by you) to eat will be amazing since I guarantee you will sleep like the dead.
All of this sounds scary and it really is. Being a new parent is the ultimate test of your sanity and your feelings of self-worth. Keep your parents on speed dial so you can call them when you're feeling helpless and need some encouragement; they've done it before and can let you know that you are going to make it. It really is all worth it though. I've got a two year old who is absolutely amazing. Watching her grow over these two years has been absolutely magical and I wouldn't give it up for all the sleep in the world.
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Some other factors:
1. Yearly garage sales are your friend, especially in rich neighborhoods. I recommend this to anything with a baby on the way. You'll never know what baby stuff you'll find.
2. Church sales are good as well
3. Look on Craig's list for old furniture like a changing table, can sometimes find them free. You have 9 months to hoard such things.
4. Make friends with other parents and form social bonds and if you can and get a list of babysitters.
I'd also take a good look at your area of major and job stability, if you're an engineering major something of that like you'll be alright. If it's something like creative writing, switch to something faster and more productive like nursing, a trade with an apprenticeship for a trade like plumbing, or an emerging science that you can get a bachelors degree and immediately get a good paying job.
She's also at the very beginning of the pregnancy, the question I have is what do her parents think? Sometimes it might just be easier to give the custody of the child up to a relative if things prove to become unstable. Granted, I've seen a widow with six kids get a masters degree with only one of her children in jail and the rest successful and still retire early. So it really comes down to your social connections and your work ethic.
Do not start World War III with your in laws, and if the "lawyer games" get good advice and diplomatically settle fast and wisely. Because it will drain your wallet, and your soul.
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I know you aren't the closest, but you are going to need help, especially if you are still in school. The worst mistake you could make is dropping out of school, which is what will happen if you don't have a support network in place before the kid is born.
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Nothing with cute kids though, just crazy ugly ones. Then she'll want to have an abo or put the kid up for adoption, and everybody wins!!!! (except for the kid...)
Another thing is to play on who's going to watch her while she's younger (born to a year or so). If you guys plan on watching her, and not going with a baby sitter you need to mess with your sleeping schedule before hand. A lot of people who have new babies claim to be constantly tired and stuff like that. The number one rule is that one of you should always be sleeping while the baby is sleeping. If you try to maintain your normal sleep schedule you WILL always be tired.
Thanks to DarkNightCavalier
Wow thank you! Are you still with your girlfriend?
Thanks for all the tips guys! I would quote every single post if I could.
I definitely know I have to stay in school. Laughably, I am an English major, because I love to write...should I really switch?
You guys rock :)! Thanks again for all the help you guys give me.
This topic is helping me through this haha. I am excited, but still 110% scared :(.
EDIT: To Captain Morgan, I really appreciate that as well! Like I said, my g/fs dad died when she was very young, so I never got to meet him. Her mom is fine with it, and likes me. We have talked about breaking up and that we would just do it to decrease stress and increase the chance of succeeding with the baby.
I'm just really worried! Thanks for the tip about buying things though, that helps a lot.
You really need to support her and show you will be a good father no matter what happens between you. However, you also need to realize your relationship is only going to get harder and more strained from here.
You are terrible.
Goodluck, I hate kids but I know it'll be different for mine (My sister had her first kid at 18, still lived at home for a few years and is horrible at raising kids, her idea of a babysitter was (and still is) coming to our house with the kids and leaving without them, with no way to reach her, saying she told the 8 year old she was leaving so it's ok.) But I am dead scared of that time in my life and I wish you courage.
Good luck again.
Please be a good parent.
Yea. I am still with her. We argue, but so does everyone else. And to be honest the amount of not seeing eye-to-eye has decreased significantly over the last year.
Thanks to DarkNightCavalier
Sort of, you'd need certifications of some sort like your secondary education level I certification or a masters to teach college or have some good minor(s). In this economy, if you went the education rout it'd be useful to have a second language and the special education certifications combined with some reading certification thingie.
I would talk to businesses around your area about what sort of minor you should try for or switch your major and then minor in English. A lot of stuff deals with finance and computers these days, sales is becoming more online oriented as well. Writing combined with technical skills is becoming important.
I'm wondering if you could get to working some where and have them actually pay for your bachelor's degree. I have a nephew that had an associates degree from a community college dealing with computers, and he had favorable job opportunities offer to pay for his bachelors degree and other certifications. I'm not suggesting you go to that direction, but a similar way is something that can work for some people.
There's also going into the ROTC program and entering the military as an officer. The starting wage of an officer is 60k/yearly, but you're also dealing with a time where the military equally wants to cut back or will cut back over the next 10 years.
There's also training courses through some youth program I forget it's name for people under 24, might want to look into that as well if something interests you outside of college or for your girlfriend.
Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
This is unnecessary. I'm also majoring in English. To be more specific I'm double majoring in Creative Writing and Journalism. You can do what you want with a degree - but you have to realize that for making money you won't be using your degree. You'll be using the fact that you have a Bachelor's (not necessarily in English, just in general).
For example, I'm working my way up where I work now. I've all ready spoken to my manager about being career oriented. It's not my first pick, but it's comforting to have the job security. You need to, first of all, find a job that starts above minimum wage. Not necessarily by much, mind you, but at least a little bit. Most retail places will (Target, Toys R Us, etc.) start you at min. wage, but give you more/bigger raises than fast food places - and they're also easy to break in to. If you're hard working enough, after a while you need to speak to your supervisor about being career oriented. Explaining your situation to them - because they're likely to identify that since you have a kid on the way, you're likely to need the job security - and therefore work harder.
Don't change your major, though. It's unnecessary.
Thanks to DarkNightCavalier