1st off, you better be planning on staying with this girlfriend. Its better for the child.
2nd, taking care of a baby is a big responsibility but it isn't difficult either.
3rd, you and your wife need to decide if its best for both of you to work, or just one of you. Daycare is a damn rip off.
4th Breast feeding will save you a crap ton of money. Granted, that's her choice.
5th, magic is going to have to take a back burner for a bit.
6th, while going to school is noble, you will need to get a day or night job so you can accommodate for college. Its not like when its over its gaurenteed money.
7th, go to the Department of Health and Human services building in your area. Yeah some people don't like getting government help, but you know what, you're young, and its going to be rough. Talk to them first and for most about medicaid. This is for the maternity bills. Do it fast, and do it now. That will be the most back breaking cost at this time.
Then ask about WIC (formula and such) and Food Stamps. This is your family now, if you have any pride that you can't swallow you should learn to now.
8th, Don't ever say you'll get "bored" with your children. That's actually a ridiculous thing to say.
9th, go to your parents, unless your parents are horrible people, they will change their attitude pretty damn fast when a baby is on the way. Do it together. Show them your serious.
And finally..
Have fun, kids are great, horrible, cheerful, sad, stressful, unbelievable eye opening, all at the same time. They aren't nearly as much of a burden as some people like to think.
ps, be ready for a lot of ass holes who don't have children, trying to tell you how to do it.
I suggest you watch movies that make kids look like demons to brainwash her (and don't watch the endings so that she thinks they're always evil1)
Problem Child
Problem Child 2
Problem Child 3
The Chuckie series
Nothing with cute kids though, just crazy ugly ones. Then she'll want to have an abo or put the kid up for adoption, and everybody wins!!!! (except for the kid...)
I take that back, 10th - don't listen to this guy. How ever you can go to church and pray god makes this poster sterile.
20 may be a bit young to have your first child. But remember, if everyone waited until they were financially and emotionally ready to have kids, no one would be having kids.
This is all excellent advice. The idea of two young people raising a kid alone is something quite new and it's really not the way we are supposed to do it. Use the community, family, whatever to help raise the kid and that kid will be easier for you, but also for the rest of the community, family, whatever.
When my oldest was 6 months old we moved across the country to a new place and, while I don't regret it at all, it made things to unbelievably hard sometimes. It brought on a depression that was so bad I started playing magic after taking 13 years off Seriously though, the only days off I have had in 4 years are the days where I fly my family out here to babysit or when we fly home to Colorado and dump the kids with family. Other than that... I am active duty or on call all the time.
So, yes! Use your resources and do some research on what is available to you.
I gotta say, I'm probably not the most qualified to answer this, as I'm an 18 year old in college. But I am also the eldest of 5 kids, and all of us are pretty well-behaved (I attribute most of this to good parenting). From my experience with 4 new kids in the house, yes, it'll be difficult at first. Lots of crying, waking up in the middle of the night. (Especially for the first few weeks/months.) However, after that initial phase, it all becomes worth it. Maybe I'm just biased because I've only ever been the older brother, but once the baby starts recognizing faces and becomes curious of the world, everything pays off. To see such a small, thinking being is completely astounding, and I'm really glad I got to see that four times in my life so far, and to live with them.
My next bit of advice may or may not help. Do either of you have younger siblings? I know that whenever my parents had a kid they would let us help take care of the new child after they reached a certain age, and I know it was a relief for them. Because we were all younger (I was 10 when my youngest brother was born) we were constantly obsessed with whoever the new baby was, so we didn't tire as much. This allowed my parents (at least one of them) to relax a bit, and only have to watch whoever was occupying the baby, in stead of bending all their will on the little bundle of joy.
So I guess my biggest piece of advice is to take the help of those close to you. If neither of you have little brothers or sisters, the baby's grandparents will most likely be overjoyed and grateful if you ask them to help.
Other than that, I agree with most of the people here who sound like they've seen a baby before (really? Chuckie?) in that you should stock up on furniture, diapers, etc. I'd definitely push breast-feeding for the nutrients and the psychological bond that forms for the mother (I have friends who know they weren't breast fed and relationships with their mothers usually shows it), though in the end it's her call. It's cheaper than getting formula constantly, as well.
Best of luck, most of all, and once again, congratulations!
Currently, engineering is pretty much the only way to earn a solid wage immediately exiting college.
Yes, but it's also quickly becoming populated because people are realizing this (hell, I'm considering an engineering major, but not based on $$$).
It's not very practical to switch to this mid-degree, especially with a baby on the way.
It's a good thing to do what you love, in this case writing, and even better if you can make a living off of it.
Best of luck to you and your girlfriend, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Don't change your major, though. It's unnecessary.
Depends also what he wants to do. A military officer earns 60k a year, but also has to deploy to dangerous areas and move around a lot. A school teacher earns less and about the same as retail if substituting, but has upward mobility to management as well as gives valuable teaching experience if he wants to teach in a university setting and establishes an academic resume or work as some sort of consultant. Equally, a teacher after establishing their lesson plans (year 3-4) can easily maintain a side business for increased revenue. First year a part time job, but a full fledged business no.
Business, you're right it's all about relationships. However, aiming some classes around finance, computing, and ect. wouldn't exactly hurt either if after a few years flip to working at headquarters. Equally, having a good grasp of programming and product series such as Adobe are becoming more and more necessary. Accounting and finance doesn't hurt, either.
Come to think of it, I wonder if it's possible he could work himself into the epublishing industry, as that's one hot area with writing and having some of his elective go into something with computers and programming might work. But it's something I don't know much about. It's a fair discussion though to have on his major, as a way to actually combine his passions with the realities of the market and the future and what path he wants to take.
Get a cot to put near the crib. I imagine it will be much easier in the first months to just crash in the cot after the first night cry than move from bed to crib-to bed-to crib, etc!
Also, if you will be taking on a lot of the home duties I would highly recommend getting a breast pump. If you will be sharing feeding duties its much better to bottlefeed because your life will be hell if that baby learns to prefer real nipples when your turn to feed is up. Also, breastmilk can be frozen - just an FYI!
Depends also what he wants to do. A military officer earns 60k a year, but also has to deploy to dangerous areas and move around a lot. A school teacher earns less and about the same as retail if substituting, but has upward mobility to management as well as gives valuable teaching experience if he wants to teach in a university setting and establishes an academic resume or work as some sort of consultant. Equally, a teacher after establishing their lesson plans (year 3-4) can easily maintain a side business for increased revenue. First year a part time job, but a full fledged business no.
Business, you're right it's all about relationships. However, aiming some classes around finance, computing, and ect. wouldn't exactly hurt either if after a few years flip to working at headquarters. Equally, having a good grasp of programming and product series such as Adobe are becoming more and more necessary. Accounting and finance doesn't hurt, either.
Come to think of it, I wonder if it's possible he could work himself into the epublishing industry, as that's one hot area with writing and having some of his elective go into something with computers and programming might work. But it's something I don't know much about. It's a fair discussion though to have on his major, as a way to actually combine his passions with the realities of the market and the future and what path he wants to take.
What I'm saying, though, is that he wants to write. He wants this path. The fact that he's having a baby shouldn't change that. This is the degree he wants - he should go for it. He shouldn't "settle" for a degree he doesn't want, work he doesn't want just because he thinks he'll rake in more money.
As for writing and e-publishing there is no difference in the degree. ePublishers look for the same thing that regular publishers do - because there's no difference in presentation of media.
Currently, engineering is pretty much the only way to earn a solid wage immediately exiting college.
It doesn't matter to me what get the most money. The fact is, this guy wants to write. The fact is, he's working hard towards a degree. The fact is, that's fine. He'll get money just fine with a degree.
Also, not that I'm arguing whether or not you're right, can I get a citation of this? I find that incredibly interesting and would like to learn more about the numbers behind it.
In an eight player game, is anything good? Don't you just sit there countering combos until someone genesis waves for 42 after all the blue players tap out fighting over a bribery?
Goodluck, I hate kids but I know it'll be different for mine (My sister had her first kid at 18, still lived at home for a few years and is horrible at raising kids, her idea of a babysitter was (and still is) coming to our house with the kids and leaving without them, with no way to reach her, saying she told the 8 year old she was leaving so it's ok.) But I am dead scared of that time in my life and I wish you courage.
Good luck again.
Please be a good parent.
This is good parenting. If you aren't 100% committed to raising a child, then you might as well put it out of its misery via abortion.
Hey, I'm a valid advice giver, it worked with my ex, so it should work with you, just don't get too attached to your girl if you know what I mean.
This is good parenting. If you aren't 100% committed to raising a child, then you might as well put it out of its misery via abortion.
WOW. That's pretty messed up. I didn't expect to hear something like that. I have thought about abortion, but not as arbitrarily as you do...
I appreciate everyone elses responses. My girlfriend just broke up with me today =\...or something. We are both so stressed out. This is so much harder than I think having the actual kid will be =\.
I definitely want to get my English degree and write, but it's mostly luck with Publishers if I make any money from it...I write now for the published school newspaper and a few other good resume things...
Blah, I'm just so, so stressed out and scared about this.
WOW. That's pretty messed up. I didn't expect to hear something like that. I have thought about abortion, but not as arbitrarily as you do...
I appreciate everyone elses responses. My girlfriend just broke up with me today =\...or something. We are both so stressed out. This is so much harder than I think having the actual kid will be =\.
I definitely want to get my English degree and write, but it's mostly luck with Publishers if I make any money from it...I write now for the published school newspaper and a few other good resume things...
Blah, I'm just so, so stressed out and scared about this.
You need to take a deep breath and calm down. There's nothing you can do to change the situation (apart from abortion or adoption which, honestly, will not be your choice, anyway.)
First of all, why did you break up? Regardless, if you intend to be a part of this child's life, it will be much easier on you if you get along with his/her mother. Not saying you have to BE with her, but on amicable terms.
Whatever she decides to do with the baby (keep it, abortion, or adoption) you should support her in her decision, even if you don't agree with it. Especially if the two of you are not together, you have no bearing on her decision. She is the one, no matter what, who will be tied to that child for the rest of her life.
These situations are hard, and they are stressful, but they do not have to be the end of your life as you know it. Practice some relaxing exercises, take deep breaths, and support her. Best of luck to you.
First of all, it's totally normal and healthy to be freaked out. This is the most difficult and important thing many (most?) people will ever do, and you don't have the luxury of a stable income that a lot of people do.
Advice I often hear goes something like "You have to realize that your life no longer belongs to you, it belongs to your child." You and every other decent parent will have to make major, incredible, insane sacrifices for your child; it's okay to be a starving artist, its NOT okay to be a starving parent.
Honestly, I can't recommend staying an English major in this economy. The job market is very harsh right now and I don't see it getting better in the short term. Love doesn't pay the bills.
I would at the very least get education in Web Design or Computer Programming, two industries that don't require too much education and have extremely solid futures. Doing what you love isn't going to be satisfying if it comes at the expense of your child.
It sounds really harsh. But you know what? Lots of people never got their dream job and still had wonderful, meaningful, happy lives. There are also lots of people who got their dream jobs but still weren't satisfied. I would suggest getting career skills even if you didn't have a child on the way; there are a lot of B.A.s working minimum wage right now.
Basically, kiss your social life goodbye. You will no longer have things like free time. When you have a kid, you are no longer the master of your own schedule, everthing you do revolves around thier timeline. You can't just go out wih freinds when you want, you can't decide to go catch a movie, or go do anything spur of the moment.
Sucks you couldn't enjoy being an adult before losing all the benefits of being an adult.
As for the degree thing, don't fall for the web design/CS major trap. That train has LONG since left station. Unless you plan on moving to Mumbai, you aren't going to be getting any decent work. You'll be lucky to get an entry level gig working 50 hours a week for 35k a year, and chances are your job will be outsourced inside 3 years.
If anyone in your age group asked me what career to go into, I would say medical technician. You don't need to take on 60K-80K in debt with a useless college degree, you make a decent wage, the demand for the job is HUGE, and old people aren't going to fly to India or China to get thier scans done. We are looking at the greatest increase in the populaiton size of the elderly in the history of civilization. Healthcare is where the $$ is in the future.
Meh, my social life isn't very existent as is right now anyway X_x...that's the last thing I care about.
Like you guys said, I need a stable career because I don't want to end up being someone that makes 35k a year, and I also want to have a job that I somewhat enjoy.
Really my social life consists of playing DnD and Magic...with people that are fathers. So it doesn't really bother me in that regards...I like Magic, Video games, writing, and DnD...so my social life was over a long time ago :).
Thanks a lot Manders! I realize that I definitely need to calm down and relax with this...it's really hard but I'm trying my best to relax.
She actually is just very stressed out...she said she didn't mean it, so that's fine by me...I'm equally as stressed out >_>, so I definitely understand where she's coming from.
If anyone in your age group asked me what career to go into, I would say medical technician. You don't need to take on 60K-80K in debt with a useless college degree, you make a decent wage, the demand for the job is HUGE, and old people aren't going to fly to India or China to get thier scans done. We are looking at the greatest increase in the populaiton size of the elderly in the history of civilization. Healthcare is where the $$ is in the future.
Ditto This, and the best part is if you REALLY wanted to, you can write in your spare time. The older guys I played MTG with in college (who drove me to all the tournaments) were X-ray techs. 1-2 years of tech school and then all the hours you can handle.
Just wanted to add you can always go back and finish that English major if you want, plus with the baby whoever can claim it as dependent can qualify for Pell Grants.
While I am not one to champion government assistance, you guys sound like the kind of people it's there for. If you need it use it to get done with school, on your feet and then do yourself a favor and get off of it.
I'm sure at some point people have talked to you or potentially pressured you to talk about getting married. Marriage is a valuable family structure and should not be taken lightly. If in a year or two you and your gf are still together and making good choices about your child and family, and you are willing to commit to being with her, it will help your family a lot to get married. Scrap the idea of the big wedding unless your familys are going to pay for it. You have enough bills. Trust me.
Out of the blackness and stench of the engulfing swamp emerged a shimmering figure. Only the splattered armor and ichor-stained sword hinted at the unfathomable evil the knight had just laid waste.
Ditto This, and the best part is if you REALLY wanted to, you can write in your spare time. The older guys I played MTG with in college (who drove me to all the tournaments) were X-ray techs. 1-2 years of tech school and then all the hours you can handle.
Just wanted to add you can always go back and finish that English major if you want, plus with the baby whoever can claim it as dependent can qualify for Pell Grants.
While I am not one to champion government assistance, you guys sound like the kind of people it's there for. If you need it use it to get done with school, on your feet and then do yourself a favor and get off of it.
I'm sure at some point people have talked to you or potentially pressured you to talk about getting married. Marriage is a valuable family structure and should not be taken lightly. If in a year or two you and your gf are still together and making good choices about your child and family, and you are willing to commit to being with her, it will help your family a lot to get married. Scrap the idea of the big wedding unless your familys are going to pay for it. You have enough bills. Trust me.
Could you elaborate on Pell Grants for me, or would googling them be good enough? I've never heard of them. I believe my girlfriend will claim the child as a dependent, though. She needs it more than me.
Of course, people have talked to me about marriage. Her...my parents...my family. It's so stressful. I've only "been" with 1 girl (her) and I'm so young...my dad got married at 20 and was divorced within 3 years. I don't want that to happen to me. Plus, she's off/on with me on a daily basis.
Thanks a lot for your response though :), I really do appreciate every person that has posted here in a positive manner.
I don't think anyone can really explain what having a child is like, you just have to experience it! You need to get a job and make sure you can actually support this new being.
Googling it will result in 900 places trying to sell you overpriced education. (The Fin Aid office at your school is a great resource).
Here's the skinny. When you fill out your FAFSA the school calculates your expected contribution. If you are still considered a dependent student then its likely unless your parents are dirt poor (like povertly line, welfare poor) you won't qualify for Pell, however if you are an independent student you would.
There are several criteria for being considered independent. I don't know all of them off the top of my head, but a few are: 1) 26 years old. 2) Have a dependant child, 3) Be a veteran. 4) Get married.
So you are correct that while she is claiming the child as dependent she would be eligible for much needed aid (medicaid et).
One of the reasons my wife never went to college out of high school is because her dad kicked her out and she couldn't get both parents to sign a FAFSA and document thier income. Once we got married it was no issue, but she wasn't super interested in going back to school then.
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Out of the blackness and stench of the engulfing swamp emerged a shimmering figure. Only the splattered armor and ichor-stained sword hinted at the unfathomable evil the knight had just laid waste.
Of course, people have talked to me about marriage. Her...my parents...my family. It's so stressful. I've only "been" with 1 girl (her) and I'm so young...my dad got married at 20 and was divorced within 3 years. I don't want that to happen to me. Plus, she's off/on with me on a daily basis.
You got her pregnant. You will have a child. That child needs a family. You gave up your preferred option of what you want to do when you decided to get your girlfriend pregnant. Married or not you should be a daily influence in your childs life.
Could you elaborate on Pell Grants for me, or would googling them be good enough
Talk to the finacial aid center of whatever school you are looking at. But honestly, going to college for an english degree is a bad idea at this point. You will graduate with a massive amount of debt, no solid job prospects and an degree that leaves you untrained for pretty much anything.
You will shortly have a family to support, that should be your #1 priority. You made the choice to make a baby, you need to accept the consequences of that. You need to make the best situation from your poor decision, and that means you need to make the sacrifices to make that happen.
You got her pregnant. You will have a child. That child needs a family. You gave up your preferred option of what you want to do when you decided to get your girlfriend pregnant. Married or not you should be a daily influence in your childs life.
Talk to the finacial aid center of whatever school you are looking at. But honestly, going to college for an english degree is a bad idea at this point. You will graduate with a massive amount of debt, no solid job prospects and an degree that leaves you untrained for pretty much anything.
You will shortly have a family to support, that should be your #1 priority. You made the choice to make a baby, you need to accept the consequences of that. You need to make the best situation from your poor decision, and that means you need to make the sacrifices to make that happen.
I have no idea where to go for x-ray tech/med tech around where I live though. Google searches reveal nothing except things that seem like spam.
I have no idea where to go for x-ray tech/med tech around where I live though. Google searches reveal nothing except things that seem like spam.
Most colleges should offer the classes you need to get a degree in this. There are trade schools that do it, too, faster than a regular college, but that depends on your area, of course.
Perhaps locate a career counselor? They should be able to point you in the right direction of how to get this degree fastest.
I have no idea where to go for x-ray tech/med tech around where I live though. Google searches reveal nothing except things that seem like spam.
Find a local medical imaging center, call them up, tell them you are interested in a career in medical imaging, and ask them if they have any information on what schools in the area offer the training. I garauntee you they will tell you everything you need to know right over the phone.
If the level of effort you are willing to put towards this is "I Googled it", then you have bigger problems to worry about.
Find a local medical imaging center, call them up, tell them you are interested in a career in medical imaging, and ask them if they have any information on what schools in the area offer the training. I garauntee you they will tell you everything you need to know right over the phone.
If the level of effort you are willing to put towards this is "I Googled it", then you have bigger problems to worry about.
In his defense the education advertising market right now is having a free for all with all the unemployed people looking to "go back to school." I knew googling "pell grants" wouldn't get him any good info either.
Valarin's suggestion is seriously correct. If you want to know what kind of degree or certificate to get, a lot of times the job postings will tell you. (This is especially true of anyone in IT).
Sometimes the centers themselves if you get employed there will pay for additional tracks. There is a huge demand in my area for phlebotomists, so companies will pick up med-techs who want the training and pay for it as part of thier benefits package. The benefit to the tech is they can flip that into a LPN pretty easy. (This doesn't have to be your path, just saying get the idea).
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Out of the blackness and stench of the engulfing swamp emerged a shimmering figure. Only the splattered armor and ichor-stained sword hinted at the unfathomable evil the knight had just laid waste.
Find a local medical imaging center, call them up, tell them you are interested in a career in medical imaging, and ask them if they have any information on what schools in the area offer the training. I garauntee you they will tell you everything you need to know right over the phone.
If the level of effort you are willing to put towards this is "I Googled it", then you have bigger problems to worry about.
It's an extremely niche field where I'm from. I asked around and no one had ever heard of it, except my father, who works at the local hospital. Those people went to school out of state though, so unless I want to pay more buku amounts of money I'm still stuck...unless someone points me in the right direction from there. Most people Google things when they want to know something...or perhaps I'm wrong.
In his defense the education advertising market right now is having a free for all with all the unemployed people looking to "go back to school." I knew googling "pell grants" wouldn't get him any good info either.
Valarin's suggestion is seriously correct. If you want to know what kind of degree or certificate to get, a lot of times the job postings will tell you. (This is especially true of anyone in IT).
Sometimes the centers themselves if you get employed there will pay for additional tracks. There is a huge demand in my area for phlebotomists, so companies will pick up med-techs who want the training and pay for it as part of thier benefits package. The benefit to the tech is they can flip that into a LPN pretty easy. (This doesn't have to be your path, just saying get the idea).
Very interesting! I think med-tech would be a great career choice for me, I just want to get on the road for it now instead of wasting more time in another semester of college.
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2nd, taking care of a baby is a big responsibility but it isn't difficult either.
3rd, you and your wife need to decide if its best for both of you to work, or just one of you. Daycare is a damn rip off.
4th Breast feeding will save you a crap ton of money. Granted, that's her choice.
5th, magic is going to have to take a back burner for a bit.
6th, while going to school is noble, you will need to get a day or night job so you can accommodate for college. Its not like when its over its gaurenteed money.
7th, go to the Department of Health and Human services building in your area. Yeah some people don't like getting government help, but you know what, you're young, and its going to be rough. Talk to them first and for most about medicaid. This is for the maternity bills. Do it fast, and do it now. That will be the most back breaking cost at this time.
Then ask about WIC (formula and such) and Food Stamps. This is your family now, if you have any pride that you can't swallow you should learn to now.
8th, Don't ever say you'll get "bored" with your children. That's actually a ridiculous thing to say.
9th, go to your parents, unless your parents are horrible people, they will change their attitude pretty damn fast when a baby is on the way. Do it together. Show them your serious.
And finally..
Have fun, kids are great, horrible, cheerful, sad, stressful, unbelievable eye opening, all at the same time. They aren't nearly as much of a burden as some people like to think.
ps, be ready for a lot of ass holes who don't have children, trying to tell you how to do it.
I take that back, 10th - don't listen to this guy. How ever you can go to church and pray god makes this poster sterile.
My sincerest condolences.
If you were planning on finishing college or whatever, I'd suggeswt to finish, if you can. If not, hopefully you can find decent employment.
At least though, if you have kids, the government tends to help you out more than if you don't. At least up here.
...which is absolutely why I never will.
When my oldest was 6 months old we moved across the country to a new place and, while I don't regret it at all, it made things to unbelievably hard sometimes. It brought on a depression that was so bad I started playing magic after taking 13 years off Seriously though, the only days off I have had in 4 years are the days where I fly my family out here to babysit or when we fly home to Colorado and dump the kids with family. Other than that... I am active duty or on call all the time.
So, yes! Use your resources and do some research on what is available to you.
WUBRGPauper Battle BoxWUBRG ... and why I am not a fan of Wayne Reynolds' Illustrations.
I gotta say, I'm probably not the most qualified to answer this, as I'm an 18 year old in college. But I am also the eldest of 5 kids, and all of us are pretty well-behaved (I attribute most of this to good parenting). From my experience with 4 new kids in the house, yes, it'll be difficult at first. Lots of crying, waking up in the middle of the night. (Especially for the first few weeks/months.) However, after that initial phase, it all becomes worth it. Maybe I'm just biased because I've only ever been the older brother, but once the baby starts recognizing faces and becomes curious of the world, everything pays off. To see such a small, thinking being is completely astounding, and I'm really glad I got to see that four times in my life so far, and to live with them.
My next bit of advice may or may not help. Do either of you have younger siblings? I know that whenever my parents had a kid they would let us help take care of the new child after they reached a certain age, and I know it was a relief for them. Because we were all younger (I was 10 when my youngest brother was born) we were constantly obsessed with whoever the new baby was, so we didn't tire as much. This allowed my parents (at least one of them) to relax a bit, and only have to watch whoever was occupying the baby, in stead of bending all their will on the little bundle of joy.
So I guess my biggest piece of advice is to take the help of those close to you. If neither of you have little brothers or sisters, the baby's grandparents will most likely be overjoyed and grateful if you ask them to help.
Other than that, I agree with most of the people here who sound like they've seen a baby before (really? Chuckie?) in that you should stock up on furniture, diapers, etc. I'd definitely push breast-feeding for the nutrients and the psychological bond that forms for the mother (I have friends who know they weren't breast fed and relationships with their mothers usually shows it), though in the end it's her call. It's cheaper than getting formula constantly, as well.
Best of luck, most of all, and once again, congratulations!
Yes, but it's also quickly becoming populated because people are realizing this (hell, I'm considering an engineering major, but not based on $$$).
It's not very practical to switch to this mid-degree, especially with a baby on the way.
It's a good thing to do what you love, in this case writing, and even better if you can make a living off of it.
Best of luck to you and your girlfriend, I'm sure you'll do fine.
Quotes in blog.
Depends also what he wants to do. A military officer earns 60k a year, but also has to deploy to dangerous areas and move around a lot. A school teacher earns less and about the same as retail if substituting, but has upward mobility to management as well as gives valuable teaching experience if he wants to teach in a university setting and establishes an academic resume or work as some sort of consultant. Equally, a teacher after establishing their lesson plans (year 3-4) can easily maintain a side business for increased revenue. First year a part time job, but a full fledged business no.
Business, you're right it's all about relationships. However, aiming some classes around finance, computing, and ect. wouldn't exactly hurt either if after a few years flip to working at headquarters. Equally, having a good grasp of programming and product series such as Adobe are becoming more and more necessary. Accounting and finance doesn't hurt, either.
Come to think of it, I wonder if it's possible he could work himself into the epublishing industry, as that's one hot area with writing and having some of his elective go into something with computers and programming might work. But it's something I don't know much about. It's a fair discussion though to have on his major, as a way to actually combine his passions with the realities of the market and the future and what path he wants to take.
Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
Also, if you will be taking on a lot of the home duties I would highly recommend getting a breast pump. If you will be sharing feeding duties its much better to bottlefeed because your life will be hell if that baby learns to prefer real nipples when your turn to feed is up. Also, breastmilk can be frozen - just an FYI!
What I'm saying, though, is that he wants to write. He wants this path. The fact that he's having a baby shouldn't change that. This is the degree he wants - he should go for it. He shouldn't "settle" for a degree he doesn't want, work he doesn't want just because he thinks he'll rake in more money.
As for writing and e-publishing there is no difference in the degree. ePublishers look for the same thing that regular publishers do - because there's no difference in presentation of media.
It doesn't matter to me what get the most money. The fact is, this guy wants to write. The fact is, he's working hard towards a degree. The fact is, that's fine. He'll get money just fine with a degree.
Also, not that I'm arguing whether or not you're right, can I get a citation of this? I find that incredibly interesting and would like to learn more about the numbers behind it.
Thanks to DarkNightCavalier
Hey, I'm a valid advice giver, it worked with my ex, so it should work with you, just don't get too attached to your girl if you know what I mean.
This is good parenting. If you aren't 100% committed to raising a child, then you might as well put it out of its misery via abortion.
WOW. That's pretty messed up. I didn't expect to hear something like that. I have thought about abortion, but not as arbitrarily as you do...
I appreciate everyone elses responses. My girlfriend just broke up with me today =\...or something. We are both so stressed out. This is so much harder than I think having the actual kid will be =\.
I definitely want to get my English degree and write, but it's mostly luck with Publishers if I make any money from it...I write now for the published school newspaper and a few other good resume things...
Blah, I'm just so, so stressed out and scared about this.
You need to take a deep breath and calm down. There's nothing you can do to change the situation (apart from abortion or adoption which, honestly, will not be your choice, anyway.)
First of all, why did you break up? Regardless, if you intend to be a part of this child's life, it will be much easier on you if you get along with his/her mother. Not saying you have to BE with her, but on amicable terms.
Whatever she decides to do with the baby (keep it, abortion, or adoption) you should support her in her decision, even if you don't agree with it. Especially if the two of you are not together, you have no bearing on her decision. She is the one, no matter what, who will be tied to that child for the rest of her life.
These situations are hard, and they are stressful, but they do not have to be the end of your life as you know it. Practice some relaxing exercises, take deep breaths, and support her. Best of luck to you.
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Advice I often hear goes something like "You have to realize that your life no longer belongs to you, it belongs to your child." You and every other decent parent will have to make major, incredible, insane sacrifices for your child; it's okay to be a starving artist, its NOT okay to be a starving parent.
Honestly, I can't recommend staying an English major in this economy. The job market is very harsh right now and I don't see it getting better in the short term. Love doesn't pay the bills.
I would at the very least get education in Web Design or Computer Programming, two industries that don't require too much education and have extremely solid futures. Doing what you love isn't going to be satisfying if it comes at the expense of your child.
It sounds really harsh. But you know what? Lots of people never got their dream job and still had wonderful, meaningful, happy lives. There are also lots of people who got their dream jobs but still weren't satisfied. I would suggest getting career skills even if you didn't have a child on the way; there are a lot of B.A.s working minimum wage right now.
Do it for your child. And good luck!
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22: 27.5%
23: 26.3%
24: 25.5%
25: 25.1%
26: 25.3%
Basically, kiss your social life goodbye. You will no longer have things like free time. When you have a kid, you are no longer the master of your own schedule, everthing you do revolves around thier timeline. You can't just go out wih freinds when you want, you can't decide to go catch a movie, or go do anything spur of the moment.
Sucks you couldn't enjoy being an adult before losing all the benefits of being an adult.
As for the degree thing, don't fall for the web design/CS major trap. That train has LONG since left station. Unless you plan on moving to Mumbai, you aren't going to be getting any decent work. You'll be lucky to get an entry level gig working 50 hours a week for 35k a year, and chances are your job will be outsourced inside 3 years.
If anyone in your age group asked me what career to go into, I would say medical technician. You don't need to take on 60K-80K in debt with a useless college degree, you make a decent wage, the demand for the job is HUGE, and old people aren't going to fly to India or China to get thier scans done. We are looking at the greatest increase in the populaiton size of the elderly in the history of civilization. Healthcare is where the $$ is in the future.
Like you guys said, I need a stable career because I don't want to end up being someone that makes 35k a year, and I also want to have a job that I somewhat enjoy.
Really my social life consists of playing DnD and Magic...with people that are fathers. So it doesn't really bother me in that regards...I like Magic, Video games, writing, and DnD...so my social life was over a long time ago :).
Thanks a lot Manders! I realize that I definitely need to calm down and relax with this...it's really hard but I'm trying my best to relax.
She actually is just very stressed out...she said she didn't mean it, so that's fine by me...I'm equally as stressed out >_>, so I definitely understand where she's coming from.
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Ditto This, and the best part is if you REALLY wanted to, you can write in your spare time. The older guys I played MTG with in college (who drove me to all the tournaments) were X-ray techs. 1-2 years of tech school and then all the hours you can handle.
Just wanted to add you can always go back and finish that English major if you want, plus with the baby whoever can claim it as dependent can qualify for Pell Grants.
While I am not one to champion government assistance, you guys sound like the kind of people it's there for. If you need it use it to get done with school, on your feet and then do yourself a favor and get off of it.
I'm sure at some point people have talked to you or potentially pressured you to talk about getting married. Marriage is a valuable family structure and should not be taken lightly. If in a year or two you and your gf are still together and making good choices about your child and family, and you are willing to commit to being with her, it will help your family a lot to get married. Scrap the idea of the big wedding unless your familys are going to pay for it. You have enough bills. Trust me.
Could you elaborate on Pell Grants for me, or would googling them be good enough? I've never heard of them. I believe my girlfriend will claim the child as a dependent, though. She needs it more than me.
Of course, people have talked to me about marriage. Her...my parents...my family. It's so stressful. I've only "been" with 1 girl (her) and I'm so young...my dad got married at 20 and was divorced within 3 years. I don't want that to happen to me. Plus, she's off/on with me on a daily basis.
Thanks a lot for your response though :), I really do appreciate every person that has posted here in a positive manner.
I don't think anyone can really explain what having a child is like, you just have to experience it! You need to get a job and make sure you can actually support this new being.
Again, best of luck.
LOL
Googling it will result in 900 places trying to sell you overpriced education. (The Fin Aid office at your school is a great resource).
Here's the skinny. When you fill out your FAFSA the school calculates your expected contribution. If you are still considered a dependent student then its likely unless your parents are dirt poor (like povertly line, welfare poor) you won't qualify for Pell, however if you are an independent student you would.
There are several criteria for being considered independent. I don't know all of them off the top of my head, but a few are: 1) 26 years old. 2) Have a dependant child, 3) Be a veteran. 4) Get married.
So you are correct that while she is claiming the child as dependent she would be eligible for much needed aid (medicaid et).
One of the reasons my wife never went to college out of high school is because her dad kicked her out and she couldn't get both parents to sign a FAFSA and document thier income. Once we got married it was no issue, but she wasn't super interested in going back to school then.
You got her pregnant. You will have a child. That child needs a family. You gave up your preferred option of what you want to do when you decided to get your girlfriend pregnant. Married or not you should be a daily influence in your childs life.
Talk to the finacial aid center of whatever school you are looking at. But honestly, going to college for an english degree is a bad idea at this point. You will graduate with a massive amount of debt, no solid job prospects and an degree that leaves you untrained for pretty much anything.
You will shortly have a family to support, that should be your #1 priority. You made the choice to make a baby, you need to accept the consequences of that. You need to make the best situation from your poor decision, and that means you need to make the sacrifices to make that happen.
I have no idea where to go for x-ray tech/med tech around where I live though. Google searches reveal nothing except things that seem like spam.
Most colleges should offer the classes you need to get a degree in this. There are trade schools that do it, too, faster than a regular college, but that depends on your area, of course.
Perhaps locate a career counselor? They should be able to point you in the right direction of how to get this degree fastest.
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Find a local medical imaging center, call them up, tell them you are interested in a career in medical imaging, and ask them if they have any information on what schools in the area offer the training. I garauntee you they will tell you everything you need to know right over the phone.
If the level of effort you are willing to put towards this is "I Googled it", then you have bigger problems to worry about.
In his defense the education advertising market right now is having a free for all with all the unemployed people looking to "go back to school." I knew googling "pell grants" wouldn't get him any good info either.
Valarin's suggestion is seriously correct. If you want to know what kind of degree or certificate to get, a lot of times the job postings will tell you. (This is especially true of anyone in IT).
Sometimes the centers themselves if you get employed there will pay for additional tracks. There is a huge demand in my area for phlebotomists, so companies will pick up med-techs who want the training and pay for it as part of thier benefits package. The benefit to the tech is they can flip that into a LPN pretty easy. (This doesn't have to be your path, just saying get the idea).
It's an extremely niche field where I'm from. I asked around and no one had ever heard of it, except my father, who works at the local hospital. Those people went to school out of state though, so unless I want to pay more buku amounts of money I'm still stuck...unless someone points me in the right direction from there. Most people Google things when they want to know something...or perhaps I'm wrong.
Very interesting! I think med-tech would be a great career choice for me, I just want to get on the road for it now instead of wasting more time in another semester of college.