My girlfriend got really mad at me because she found out I have an account on a cam site. I left a message to someone on the site, she found out and now she's disappointed and feels like I cheated on her.
Is she being too rough on me? The message sounded like I wanted to meet the girl, but I was just messing around.
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She's doing what any other woman would do, no matter the cultural contexts what appears to be so generally is with women because they are relationship driven. Commitment is key in word and deed.
This isn't like you're playing poker with your buddies and she's calling you at every hour to know where you are "just to make sure." Those sort of women have issues, this woman in particular you are with is on the mark. You screwed up, apologize, and move on.
And yes, I know for a young man that it might not "seem right" but even if you don't "get it" just take it as a learning experience it'll save you a lot of headaches in relationships years down the road. Anything that says "sex" in it is cheating.
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My girlfriend got really mad at me because she found out I have an account on a cam site. I left a message to someone on the site, she found out and now she's disappointed and feels like I cheated on her.
Is she being too rough on me? The message sounded like I wanted to meet the girl, but I was just messing around.
Is going to a strip club cheating? If yes, then yes. If no, then no.
Is going to a strip club cheating? If yes, then yes. If no, then no.
Personally, I think it is.
I think this logic is flawed. Strip clubs are more like porn, there's no real interaction. It's somebody who doesn't think twice about you dancing around for money. When you have cybersex with someone, it's personal. The two of you are doing your thing to yourselves while you tell each other what you want do be doing to them; you're creating a sexual situation. It's not an exchange of goods like with a stripper, where they're just in it for the money.
A better comparison would be, is mutual masturbation in a room together cheating? Bottom line is, yes, it's basically cheating. Obviously it's not as bad as the real act, but creating that personal sexual connection is still going to be frowned upon pretty hard. The fact something you said could be construed as you hoping to meet up with the person doesn't help.
Also, what Coffee said. Cheating is what a given person decides it is, no matter how ridiculous it sounds (though obviously, looking at another girl or guy being considered cheating is reserved for those crazies out there).
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Of course, this is cheating. It doesn't matter the intentions you had behind it. You actively went out looking for someone to have a virtual sexual experience with. If this isn't cheating, I don't know what is.
You need to take responsibility for your decisions...if you're not getting your needs met by your girlfriend, be honest with her, break up, whatever. But don't come to these forums looking for some sort of affirmation that what you did was right.
You call it "cybersex", I am assuming that meant that at some point, you exchanged dirty messages and played with yourself. That means it was sex, even if there was no direct physical contact or penetration. There is no penetration when you play with each other, and it is still sex (after a fashion).
Now, if it was done in any way concealed from your girlfriend, then it was cheating. If, on the other hand, she is OK with you shaking hand with Mr. Happy while chatting on video with a naked woman, then there is not an issue. I am assuming from the context of the original post that she is not.
The big question is generally honesty and openness. If you have an open relationship, and are permitted to have a physical relationship with someone else provided that it does not impact your primary relationship, then it is not cheating. If, on the other hand, it is something that will cause problems if she finds out, then it is cheating.
Do you have to hide it from her lest she doesn't understand? Then, yup, it is cheating.
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It's one of those websites where people broadcast their cam and everyone keeps asking them to do things (stick this in there etc). The way I see it, it's like watching porn, only live.
@Himashi: The girl I talked to lives in US, and I'm from Brazil. I only asked for her MSN/skype contacts. It's not like we would ever meet.
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maybe i'm old fashion but i don't consider this cheating. this is just an incident that boils down to your girlfriend catching you with porn.
Its more a reaction of possibly jealously or "oh i'm not enough for you?".
in this case it was high grade porn where a person on the other end of the NET talks.
Now if you sneak off to see that person face to face it is cheating.
here is the big question. if this cam site setting you up with the same girl over and over? how frequently are you doing this with the same girl?
cause if it is, it is a case of putting you priority of who you value more into question. "do you prefer this online girl over your girlfriend?"
that the part that will set girls off and have them consider it "cheating" over you just using "porn service".
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I think everyone here knows what a cam site is. You asked for opinions, and the opinions you got overwhelmingly agree...what you did isn't cool.
And no...it isn't "like watching porn, but live." You aren't getting off on a pre-recorded photo or video, you're getting off with a consenting adult who is doing what she's doing, not because she's paid to, but because she wants to.
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I've been on the receiving end of this (my at-the-time girlfriend was having cybersex with some random dude). It's totally cheating.
There's an interpersonal connection through the communication that you're making with another person. That doesn't exist when watching porn, et al.
Would you be okay with your girlfriend having phone sex with another guy, telling him about all the things she's doing to herself and that she wants him to do to her? That's the exact same scenario just now we're adding the auditory medium into the mix.
Would you be okay with your girlfriend masturbating in a room with another guy, again telling him about all the things she wants him to do to her? This now adds the visual medium to the mix.
At what point do you think that text communication is okay, but auditory communication and visual contact would make it wrong? I would go so far as to say there is no line among them, they're all cheating and leave it at that. The sooner you admit you were wrong, the sooner you and your girlfriend can try to overcome this together, because I'll tell you one thing: If you don't admit that you were wrong now, this will continue and will get worse.
Your girlfriend probably feels inadequate as hell. Admit that you shouldn't have done it and work on boosting her self esteem.
After you become serious with someone, you should always have a frank discussion of what is and isn't okay.
What would you do if your girlfriend was having phone sex with another guy?
If you would be hurt, then yes, its cheating. If not, then you need to have a serious discussion about boundaries.
Pornography is one thing - it's purely physical, and is practically a tool. Having live video chats with other women is... well its a lot more intimate. You are making a connection with someone who isn't your girlfriend.
No, I only talked to this girl once. I used to hit that site all the time when I wanted to masturbate. I may have talked to a lot of people, but looks like she just saw one girl.
She's really mad - she won't talk to me. I'm mad at her for reasons other than this fight so I think I'm gonna let her on her own for a while.
Your girlfriend probably feels inadequate as hell. Admit that you shouldn't have done it and work on boosting her self esteem.
Yeah. Tips on how to do that?
Just to clarify: every other month she finds some porn site in my browser because I failed to clear my history. It's not the first time she got pissed. But this time is clearly the worst.
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Why did you ask if you are only replying to the semi-agreeable opinions? If this is repeated behavior at your girlfriends expense (why not hide your porn history if it upsets her?) then you must be pretty set in your ways, which is sad if you have an active sexual partner. Plus now you're mad at her to deflect things from being just about why she is upset.
I hope she comes to her senses and breaks up with you.
Why did you ask if you are only replying to the semi-agreeable opinions? If this is repeated behavior at your girlfriends expense (why not hide your porn history if it upsets her?) then you must be pretty set in your ways, which is sad if you have an active sexual partner. Plus now you're mad at her to deflect things from being just about why she is upset.
I hope she comes to her senses and breaks up with you.
I wish I could +1 this.
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If this is repeated behavior at your girlfriends expense (why not hide your porn history if it upsets her?) then you must be pretty set in your ways, which is sad if you have an active sexual partner. Plus now you're mad at her to deflect things from being just about why she is upset.
Having a sexual partner has nothing to do with it. One can't have his private sexual fantasies? Am I supposed to share everything with her? I certainly don't want that. Does it mean I don't love her?
Having a sexual partner has nothing to do with it. One can't have his private sexual fantasies? Am I supposed to share everything with her? I certainly don't want that. Does it mean I don't love her?
I would unequivocally say that, no, you don't love her. If you love someone, you want what's best for them. She feels like you cheated on her, and your response is to come to a gaming forum, looking for people to tell you that, no, its really OK for you to do this thing that she hates? You're basically hoping to find an argument to tell her that she's wrong, and she should be OK with what you've done?
I agree with Madding: she's better off without you.
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If you love someone, you want what's best for them. She feels like you cheated on her, and your response is to come to a gaming forum, looking for people to tell you that, no, its really OK for you to do this thing that she hates? You're basically hoping to find an argument to tell her that she's wrong, and she should be OK with what you've done?
Well, I don't wanna go into "you came here looking to hear X", because that's totally not what I was expecting. I don't think I need my fellow gamers approval about my sexual conduct. When I posted, I really thought I was right. I still don't think cybersex is a big deal. But the majority of people here thinks so. Then I'm clearly wrong.
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Yeah, that was the kind of response I was looking for.
Well, I don't wanna go into "you came here looking to hear X", because that's totally not what I was expecting. I don't think I need my fellow gamers approval about my sexual conduct. When I posted, I really thought I was right. I still don't think cybersex is a big deal. But the majority of people here thinks so. Then I'm clearly wrong.
I would argue that it's not important what WE think. It's important what your GF thinks. There is no "outside arbiter" to decide what's appropriate. It's between you too, and having a bunch of outsiders agree or disagree with your side doesn't mean squat.
You were sneaking around with this.
If you want to fix this while remaining honest, you should tell her that SHE is RIGHT, that it's cheating in HER EYES, and that this is what you have learned now. Because she feels betrayed, and you're sorry you made her feel that way. Make that really, really clear that it was your mistake, but you don't want her to lose faith in you because...
THEN you can consider explaining the reasons why you USED TO THINK it wasn't really cheating, and how it was just a holdover from when you were single, that you had no intent on meeting anybody, it was all just dirty porn in your head, guy thing, etc. etc. That you would never have gone to meet some actual person in real life.... that the person on the other end of the line is probably some 320 pound Salvadoran housewife with 4 kids and a nice voice, etc.
If you want to fix this while remaining honest, you should tell her that SHE is RIGHT, that it's cheating in HER EYES, and that this is what you have learned now. Because she feels betrayed, and you're sorry you made her feel that way. Make that really, really clear that it was your mistake, but you don't want her to lose faith in you because...
THEN you can consider explaining the reasons why you USED TO THINK it wasn't really cheating, and how it was just a holdover from when you were single, that you had no intent on meeting anybody, it was all just dirty porn in your head, guy thing, etc. etc. That you would never have gone to meet some actual person in real life.... that the person on the other end of the line is probably some 320 pound Salvadoran housewife with 4 kids and a nice voice, etc.
Thanks a lot, dcartist. This is the kind of answer I was looking for. I will think over the issue.
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I think you're too caught up in the semantic game, "Is it cheating?", when all that really matters is if this is acceptable behavior between a couple.
While cybersex is not the same level of offense as real life sex, its quite evident to see why it would be frowned upon.
Since it is not a part of a conventional relationship (as overwhelmingly expressed in this thread), you need to receive the go ahead from your future partners first.
Regardless of whether it is "cheating" or not, it is alright for your girlfriend to be upset as well as for her to break up because she is unhappy with the terms of the relationship.
Individuals feel free to break up for any reason and not just "cheating" and so you should always be on the lookout for things that might upset them.
You're looking for logic in _jealousy_, of all things?
If your significant other says "X is cheating" and sincerely believes it, it doesn't matter what the logic behind it is. So if girlfriend says porn is cheating, then it is to her (even if it is stupid).
While I respect Coffee's opinion that I don't love her. I don't agree with him. There's no measurement of love outside each person's own affirmation. I do love her.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just idealizing, but I don't want to stop doing things because of her (I'm not talking just about cybersex now), as I don't want her to stop doing her things because of me.
We're not a single person, each of us has our own needs and desires and trying to match every single one of them would drive us insane.
On a side note: I feel some people here are too self-righteous. Every man watches porn. What's wrong with it?
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Yeah. Tips on how to do that?
Just to clarify: every other month she finds some porn site in my browser because I failed to clear my history. It's not the first time she got pissed. But this time is clearly the worst.
Well, it depends on the person. If she gets mad at the simple fact that you're looking at porn, then chatting with someone will be a level of pissed the likes of which she has not tread upon before.
Like, I was cool with my then-girlfriend looking at porn, but I was not cool with her having verbal or text communications with another human being about the things she wanted to do to that person (which started a huge fight between us, the fight died down within a day or two but the stigma from it caused significantly more problems- my self esteem was crushed so I was unengaging, and she was aggressively moody because my trust with her was broken). My girlfriend and I didn't resolve ours correctly, at all, so I can safely say that you need to do the steps to getting through this. We had to go to counseling, eventually, because that one little spark began a massive storm of crap between the two of us the likes of which I would never wish to see a human being go through again (I'll save you the details).
The bottom line is, you need to apologize. While you do so, do not justify your actions. Do not say that what you did was okay. That's not what she wants to hear, and to her and her beliefs, what you did was reprehensible. The more you justify it, the less she'll care about what you have to say.
That's step one. See how far you can get and gauge her reactions from that point forward. Once you get her to accept your apology (IE, you're past the breakup danger zone), then you can work on acceptance of your actions and compromise. You need to have a open, healthy route of communication between the two of you, and that's the bottom line. Don't sweep it under the rug.
While I respect Coffee's opinion that I don't love her. I don't agree with him. There's no measurement of love outside each person's own affirmation. I do love her.
I don't know. Maybe I'm just idealizing, but I don't want to stop doing things because of her (I'm not talking just about cybersex now), as I don't want her to stop doing her things because of me.
We're not a single person, each of us has our own needs and desires and trying to match every single one of them would drive us insane.
On a side note: I feel some people here are too self-righteous. Every man watches porn. What's wrong with it?
This statement: "... but I don't want to stop doing things because of her, as I don't want her to stop doing her things because of me" is a similar line of thought to what lead to the problems between myself and my wife. No matter what you do, a relationship is going to be built on compromise. There are going to be things that you simply cannot do, and there are going to be things that she cannot do because of you.
That line of thinking is sound in the head, but causes nothing but trouble in real life. Adultery is one of those things that neither of you should do unless you both clearly agree to an open relationship, for example. There are always going to be things that you do that drive her insane, and she's either going to learn to deal with it, or you'll curb down on it. The same holds true for her. I've been with the same woman for over eight years now, and we've lived together for half of that time. The, "I don't want to stop doing things because of her" shtick just doesn't work once you mature, because she's not going to be able to go out and drink each time she wants to because she is going to have responsibilities to you: You're going to have designs you need to finish before deadline so someone needs to watch your ill son while you work for six hours on a website that the client doesn't even want to pay for. So you either compromise (find another person) and if that doesn't work, you need to communicate with your significant other and say, "I'd like to pay rent this month." Yeah, this was our conversation January 3rd. No, I didn't get paid the full amount (still kinda pissed about it lol), but yes she stayed home and did it happily because we had more important responsibilities to one another than simple wants. I do the same for her all the time, as well. We're not separate entities: We're a single unit known as a parent, now, and we've never been happier, even if my kid throws up on me all the damn time but never throws up on her lol. Not everyone has to be as homogenous as we are, but I will say this: You'll be compromising a lot in any serious relationship. You won't be one entity, but damn if you don't have to give up some things.
My girlfriend got really mad at me because she found out I have an account on a cam site. I left a message to someone on the site, she found out and now she's disappointed and feels like I cheated on her.
Is she being too rough on me? The message sounded like I wanted to meet the girl, but I was just messing around.
This isn't like you're playing poker with your buddies and she's calling you at every hour to know where you are "just to make sure." Those sort of women have issues, this woman in particular you are with is on the mark. You screwed up, apologize, and move on.
And yes, I know for a young man that it might not "seem right" but even if you don't "get it" just take it as a learning experience it'll save you a lot of headaches in relationships years down the road. Anything that says "sex" in it is cheating.
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Is going to a strip club cheating? If yes, then yes. If no, then no.
Personally, I think it is.
That aside, cheating isn't just a matter of what you do physically with a person. It is also a matter of your loyalty and affection inwardly.
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I think this logic is flawed. Strip clubs are more like porn, there's no real interaction. It's somebody who doesn't think twice about you dancing around for money. When you have cybersex with someone, it's personal. The two of you are doing your thing to yourselves while you tell each other what you want do be doing to them; you're creating a sexual situation. It's not an exchange of goods like with a stripper, where they're just in it for the money.
A better comparison would be, is mutual masturbation in a room together cheating? Bottom line is, yes, it's basically cheating. Obviously it's not as bad as the real act, but creating that personal sexual connection is still going to be frowned upon pretty hard. The fact something you said could be construed as you hoping to meet up with the person doesn't help.
Also, what Coffee said. Cheating is what a given person decides it is, no matter how ridiculous it sounds (though obviously, looking at another girl or guy being considered cheating is reserved for those crazies out there).
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You need to take responsibility for your decisions...if you're not getting your needs met by your girlfriend, be honest with her, break up, whatever. But don't come to these forums looking for some sort of affirmation that what you did was right.
Because there's no way it was.
Sorry but that's just being honest, if I was your girlfriend I would instantly break up with you.
You call it "cybersex", I am assuming that meant that at some point, you exchanged dirty messages and played with yourself. That means it was sex, even if there was no direct physical contact or penetration. There is no penetration when you play with each other, and it is still sex (after a fashion).
Now, if it was done in any way concealed from your girlfriend, then it was cheating. If, on the other hand, she is OK with you shaking hand with Mr. Happy while chatting on video with a naked woman, then there is not an issue. I am assuming from the context of the original post that she is not.
The big question is generally honesty and openness. If you have an open relationship, and are permitted to have a physical relationship with someone else provided that it does not impact your primary relationship, then it is not cheating. If, on the other hand, it is something that will cause problems if she finds out, then it is cheating.
Do you have to hide it from her lest she doesn't understand? Then, yup, it is cheating.
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@Himashi: The girl I talked to lives in US, and I'm from Brazil. I only asked for her MSN/skype contacts. It's not like we would ever meet.
Its more a reaction of possibly jealously or "oh i'm not enough for you?".
in this case it was high grade porn where a person on the other end of the NET talks.
Now if you sneak off to see that person face to face it is cheating.
here is the big question. if this cam site setting you up with the same girl over and over? how frequently are you doing this with the same girl?
cause if it is, it is a case of putting you priority of who you value more into question. "do you prefer this online girl over your girlfriend?"
that the part that will set girls off and have them consider it "cheating" over you just using "porn service".
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And no...it isn't "like watching porn, but live." You aren't getting off on a pre-recorded photo or video, you're getting off with a consenting adult who is doing what she's doing, not because she's paid to, but because she wants to.
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There's an interpersonal connection through the communication that you're making with another person. That doesn't exist when watching porn, et al.
Would you be okay with your girlfriend having phone sex with another guy, telling him about all the things she's doing to herself and that she wants him to do to her? That's the exact same scenario just now we're adding the auditory medium into the mix.
Would you be okay with your girlfriend masturbating in a room with another guy, again telling him about all the things she wants him to do to her? This now adds the visual medium to the mix.
At what point do you think that text communication is okay, but auditory communication and visual contact would make it wrong? I would go so far as to say there is no line among them, they're all cheating and leave it at that. The sooner you admit you were wrong, the sooner you and your girlfriend can try to overcome this together, because I'll tell you one thing: If you don't admit that you were wrong now, this will continue and will get worse.
Your girlfriend probably feels inadequate as hell. Admit that you shouldn't have done it and work on boosting her self esteem.
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What would you do if your girlfriend was having phone sex with another guy?
If you would be hurt, then yes, its cheating. If not, then you need to have a serious discussion about boundaries.
Pornography is one thing - it's purely physical, and is practically a tool. Having live video chats with other women is... well its a lot more intimate. You are making a connection with someone who isn't your girlfriend.
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She's really mad - she won't talk to me. I'm mad at her for reasons other than this fight so I think I'm gonna let her on her own for a while.
Yeah. Tips on how to do that?
Just to clarify: every other month she finds some porn site in my browser because I failed to clear my history. It's not the first time she got pissed. But this time is clearly the worst.
I hope she comes to her senses and breaks up with you.
I wish I could +1 this.
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Am I doing that? Sorry but it takes some time for me to reply. It's hard to answer that many posts in english
Having a sexual partner has nothing to do with it. One can't have his private sexual fantasies? Am I supposed to share everything with her? I certainly don't want that. Does it mean I don't love her?
Well, you're definitely entitled to think that.
I would unequivocally say that, no, you don't love her. If you love someone, you want what's best for them. She feels like you cheated on her, and your response is to come to a gaming forum, looking for people to tell you that, no, its really OK for you to do this thing that she hates? You're basically hoping to find an argument to tell her that she's wrong, and she should be OK with what you've done?
I agree with Madding: she's better off without you.
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Yeah, that was the kind of response I was looking for.
Well, I don't wanna go into "you came here looking to hear X", because that's totally not what I was expecting. I don't think I need my fellow gamers approval about my sexual conduct. When I posted, I really thought I was right. I still don't think cybersex is a big deal. But the majority of people here thinks so. Then I'm clearly wrong.
I do agree it's SIMILAR to porn, though not the same.
I would argue that it's not important what WE think. It's important what your GF thinks. There is no "outside arbiter" to decide what's appropriate. It's between you too, and having a bunch of outsiders agree or disagree with your side doesn't mean squat.
You were sneaking around with this.
If you want to fix this while remaining honest, you should tell her that SHE is RIGHT, that it's cheating in HER EYES, and that this is what you have learned now. Because she feels betrayed, and you're sorry you made her feel that way. Make that really, really clear that it was your mistake, but you don't want her to lose faith in you because...
THEN you can consider explaining the reasons why you USED TO THINK it wasn't really cheating, and how it was just a holdover from when you were single, that you had no intent on meeting anybody, it was all just dirty porn in your head, guy thing, etc. etc. That you would never have gone to meet some actual person in real life.... that the person on the other end of the line is probably some 320 pound Salvadoran housewife with 4 kids and a nice voice, etc.
Thanks a lot, dcartist. This is the kind of answer I was looking for. I will think over the issue.
While cybersex is not the same level of offense as real life sex, its quite evident to see why it would be frowned upon.
Since it is not a part of a conventional relationship (as overwhelmingly expressed in this thread), you need to receive the go ahead from your future partners first.
Regardless of whether it is "cheating" or not, it is alright for your girlfriend to be upset as well as for her to break up because she is unhappy with the terms of the relationship.
Individuals feel free to break up for any reason and not just "cheating" and so you should always be on the lookout for things that might upset them.
You're looking for logic in _jealousy_, of all things?
If your significant other says "X is cheating" and sincerely believes it, it doesn't matter what the logic behind it is. So if girlfriend says porn is cheating, then it is to her (even if it is stupid).
"Sometimes, the situation is outracing a threat, sometimes it's ignoring it, and sometimes it involves sideboarding in 4x Hope//Pray." --Doug Linn
I don't know. Maybe I'm just idealizing, but I don't want to stop doing things because of her (I'm not talking just about cybersex now), as I don't want her to stop doing her things because of me.
We're not a single person, each of us has our own needs and desires and trying to match every single one of them would drive us insane.
On a side note: I feel some people here are too self-righteous. Every man watches porn. What's wrong with it?
Well, it depends on the person. If she gets mad at the simple fact that you're looking at porn, then chatting with someone will be a level of pissed the likes of which she has not tread upon before.
Like, I was cool with my then-girlfriend looking at porn, but I was not cool with her having verbal or text communications with another human being about the things she wanted to do to that person (which started a huge fight between us, the fight died down within a day or two but the stigma from it caused significantly more problems- my self esteem was crushed so I was unengaging, and she was aggressively moody because my trust with her was broken). My girlfriend and I didn't resolve ours correctly, at all, so I can safely say that you need to do the steps to getting through this. We had to go to counseling, eventually, because that one little spark began a massive storm of crap between the two of us the likes of which I would never wish to see a human being go through again (I'll save you the details).
The bottom line is, you need to apologize. While you do so, do not justify your actions. Do not say that what you did was okay. That's not what she wants to hear, and to her and her beliefs, what you did was reprehensible. The more you justify it, the less she'll care about what you have to say.
That's step one. See how far you can get and gauge her reactions from that point forward. Once you get her to accept your apology (IE, you're past the breakup danger zone), then you can work on acceptance of your actions and compromise. You need to have a open, healthy route of communication between the two of you, and that's the bottom line. Don't sweep it under the rug.
This statement: "... but I don't want to stop doing things because of her, as I don't want her to stop doing her things because of me" is a similar line of thought to what lead to the problems between myself and my wife. No matter what you do, a relationship is going to be built on compromise. There are going to be things that you simply cannot do, and there are going to be things that she cannot do because of you.
That line of thinking is sound in the head, but causes nothing but trouble in real life. Adultery is one of those things that neither of you should do unless you both clearly agree to an open relationship, for example. There are always going to be things that you do that drive her insane, and she's either going to learn to deal with it, or you'll curb down on it. The same holds true for her. I've been with the same woman for over eight years now, and we've lived together for half of that time. The, "I don't want to stop doing things because of her" shtick just doesn't work once you mature, because she's not going to be able to go out and drink each time she wants to because she is going to have responsibilities to you: You're going to have designs you need to finish before deadline so someone needs to watch your ill son while you work for six hours on a website that the client doesn't even want to pay for. So you either compromise (find another person) and if that doesn't work, you need to communicate with your significant other and say, "I'd like to pay rent this month." Yeah, this was our conversation January 3rd. No, I didn't get paid the full amount (still kinda pissed about it lol), but yes she stayed home and did it happily because we had more important responsibilities to one another than simple wants. I do the same for her all the time, as well. We're not separate entities: We're a single unit known as a parent, now, and we've never been happier, even if my kid throws up on me all the damn time but never throws up on her lol. Not everyone has to be as homogenous as we are, but I will say this: You'll be compromising a lot in any serious relationship. You won't be one entity, but damn if you don't have to give up some things.
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