Exactly. Everything I read in this thread is people who spend far too much time putting themselves in a spotlight and being far to nervous and serious. If you treat your actions as normal and not a big deal with a woman, there is a MUCH higher likelyhood she will react in the same fashion. You may not get the OUTCOME you want, but finding out doesnt have to be anything but an enjoyable experience.
Going for an unsolicited kiss without being on a date with her can go very badly, especially for somebody who is already admitting here he can't read her signals. Seriously, wtf?
Ask her out and if she says yes, and you go out, then you can kiss her... But dudes at work putting the "kiss-test" in girls to figure out if the girl likes them? That can get you fired, and should. Ewwww. Just ewwww.
Going for an unsolicited kiss without being on a date with her can go very badly, especially for somebody who is already admitting here he can't read her signals. Seriously, wtf?
Ask her out and if she says yes, and you go out, then you can kiss her... But dudes at work putting the "kiss-test" in girls to figure out if the girl likes them? That can get you fired, and should. Ewwww. Just ewwww.
Do... Not... Want...
They seem to be hanging out on non-work occasions a couple of times already. If they hang out, non work-related, I don't see a reason why if he feels that a moment is being shared that he shouldn't try and kiss her.
Actually, they don't really even work together, just study the same field, so there shouldn't be any office mojo as far as I can tell. They seem to be hanging out with each other solely for that reason with a vague pretense of anime and psychology.
But in the end, I've gotta stress the importance of being able to try and read somebody's signals, feeding off of it and going from there. He may be spinning the tale, but from what I see, she seems to be into him, just not willing to verbalize it. People (guys and girls) don't volunteer that information, they play at it lest they seem too needy or desperate.
I sort of wonder if that's why she shut him down in the first place, because he already played his hand when he said he liked her and if she was down, it would be like instant relationship. She's not sure if she's down for that yet, so she's like, let's slow it down, get to know each other.
So I say, keep hanging out with her, see if those moments of physical closeness happen (playful touching, sharing of personal space) or if she tends to recoil from them. And if she doesn't seem into you physically, then she's probably not into you romantically. If she doesn't mind being close to you, then there's a big chance that she's interested and all you really need is the right moment.
Not true. The level of anonymity on the internet is what makes online advice way way way worse than real life advice. Anyone can say they're a womanizer on the internet and get away with bad advice just by lying about how great it worked for them or saying something completely untrue about the female mind. It's just way easier to pull that kind of crap on the internet. Have you ever been on Yahoo Answers dating advice section? There's no credibility at all, which makes their answers just stupid.
On that same token, they also have no reason to say anything at all if they don't want to. Sure you have some people who are dicks for no reason, but you also just have people who are just being friendly with their advice. Why not? They have no invested interest other than the satisfaction of offering their outlook. However, with real friends, I've run into plenty of instances where someone gives you ****ty advice because there was something in it for them if you screwed up.
In real life, when you get advice from a friend, they can not only understand your situation better, but you can know if they're being straight-up with you. You will KNOW that they have your best interest in mind, and also that their opinion has more credibility to it (such as you know they actually have a girlfriend or you know they've actually gone through what you have) than the opinions you see on the internet.
Yeah, but they could just as easily be stabbing you in the back and you wouldn't be any the wiser. At least over the internet you can more easily take things for a grain of salt, but hearing someone you trust give you advice makes you want to listen to it, regardless of whether or not it is actually good advice, or even well intentioned.
I've probably misinterpreted what you just said, but still, what I said is worth putting out there. Advice can be worthless whether it's online or offline -- but if you get it from the right person in real life, it's definitely worth it.
Oh, I'm sure that's true. But you can't take anyone's advice at 100% face value. At the end of the day it comes down to you not being an utter moron with the advice offered, and using your own discretion. Hearing a bunch of people's opinions/experiences gives you a lot of information to base your decision on, though, so it's almost always worth at least asking on the clickerwebs. What harm can it do?
For the first time in my 7 year stay I'm finally resorting to asking MTGS for dating advice. Specifically, I met a girl at a get-together for my alma mater's Anime club. She's two years younger than me, a nerd, and works in the same field as me. We were talking about volunteer opportunities in our field, and I ended up giving her my number to discuss it further.
She called, and what was supposed to be coffee to discuss volunteer opportunities turned into dinner and drinks, with nary a mention of volunteer work. Two days later, we saw Ted and got ice cream, and at the end of the night I told her I'm interested in her and asked if the feeling was reciprocal. She said that she likes me a lot as well, but is still recovering from a breakup so anything would have to be taken slow.
Monday I texted her to see if she was free to hang out again this week. She said she was free BUT, in her words, "I don't think I'm ready to be involved with anyone. I'm sorry, I just want to be honest with you. That said I do enjoy hanging out with you and wouldn't mind being friends..."
I replied that that was fair enough, and we hung out tonight. During the hang out, we got ice cream, walked, and talked a lot about romantic relationships, what we're looking for and the like, and, surprise surprise, very similar wants. So, my question is this: in your eyes, does "not ready to be involved with anyone" mean she legitimately is just not ready, OR is she ready, but not interested in ME, or was that some sort of test? Is there a fourth option I'm not seeing here?
Straight up, take her words at face value. Be her friend, do what you have already been doing with her; she seems to like you; she sounds like she just needs time to "move past" her previous and doesnt want to use you as a rebound.
You guys have a lot in common, stay on the surfboard and ride the wave.
Ask her out and if she says yes, and you go out, then you can kiss her... But dudes at work putting the "kiss-test" in girls to figure out if the girl likes them? That can get you fired, and should. Ewwww. Just ewwww.
Do... Not... Want...
They seem to be hanging out on non-work occasions a couple of times already. If they hang out, non work-related, I don't see a reason why if he feels that a moment is being shared that he shouldn't try and kiss her.
Actually, they don't really even work together, just study the same field, so there shouldn't be any office mojo as far as I can tell. They seem to be hanging out with each other solely for that reason with a vague pretense of anime and psychology.
But in the end, I've gotta stress the importance of being able to try and read somebody's signals, feeding off of it and going from there. He may be spinning the tale, but from what I see, she seems to be into him, just not willing to verbalize it. People (guys and girls) don't volunteer that information, they play at it lest they seem too needy or desperate.
I sort of wonder if that's why she shut him down in the first place, because he already played his hand when he said he liked her and if she was down, it would be like instant relationship. She's not sure if she's down for that yet, so she's like, let's slow it down, get to know each other.
So I say, keep hanging out with her, see if those moments of physical closeness happen (playful touching, sharing of personal space) or if she tends to recoil from them. And if she doesn't seem into you physically, then she's probably not into you romantically. If she doesn't mind being close to you, then there's a big chance that she's interested and all you really need is the right moment.
On that same token, they also have no reason to say anything at all if they don't want to. Sure you have some people who are dicks for no reason, but you also just have people who are just being friendly with their advice. Why not? They have no invested interest other than the satisfaction of offering their outlook. However, with real friends, I've run into plenty of instances where someone gives you ****ty advice because there was something in it for them if you screwed up.
Yeah, but they could just as easily be stabbing you in the back and you wouldn't be any the wiser. At least over the internet you can more easily take things for a grain of salt, but hearing someone you trust give you advice makes you want to listen to it, regardless of whether or not it is actually good advice, or even well intentioned.
Oh, I'm sure that's true. But you can't take anyone's advice at 100% face value. At the end of the day it comes down to you not being an utter moron with the advice offered, and using your own discretion. Hearing a bunch of people's opinions/experiences gives you a lot of information to base your decision on, though, so it's almost always worth at least asking on the clickerwebs. What harm can it do?
Because we care about facts.
Straight up, take her words at face value. Be her friend, do what you have already been doing with her; she seems to like you; she sounds like she just needs time to "move past" her previous and doesnt want to use you as a rebound.
You guys have a lot in common, stay on the surfboard and ride the wave.