Anyways, my question: What's the best place to meet geeky, intelligent girls other than by random chance?
-Book clubs
-Night college courses or local classes such as cooking classes. Specifically popular are social sciences, business, pallottis, and especially language courses.
-Networking with friends, especially other women. This is the big one, if you know girl A then she will know girl B, C, D, and ect.
-Clubs and organizations such as church organizations, political groups, and ect.
-Athletics, some women do like martial arts and ect.
At the very least, try a cooking course in a food type you enjoy. Women seem to flock to those, and if you enjoy cooking it works for your own dual interests. A man that can cook gets points with women, plus if you can cook some of the more expensive dishes it saves you money.
Look for a prominent upper labial tubercle, unblocked pelvic movement during walking, and less use of immature psychological defense mechanisms.
Tubercle prominence correlates with higher p on v "O"
Interesting, reminds me of the old advice about "Intelligent women having better sex." Never figured there would be a factor with "less use of immature psychological defense mechanisms" and a scientific study.
You realize that has nothing to do with her sexuality and everything to do with the fact that she doesn't mind cheating? At best, "it's okay if it's another girl" is just a flimsy excuse no different from anything a straight girl would tell you if you caught her cheating on another guy.
That little rant of yours is about as accurate as if I were to say I'd never date a straight guy because they're all horrible jerks or something.
I'll have to admit, that's one stereotype I've heard about bisexual women over the years. I think it extends from the rarity combined with the shock of being cheated on, so therefore there's a vector point where "bisexual women cheat more." Since a man is more likely to be inflamed by a woman cheating on a man with another woman. It doesn't make either the cheater nor the stereotype correct, but a sad biproduct.
Quote from Does Bisexual Infidelity Count?[/quote »
Studies that have compared the levels of monogamy find that bisexuals are the least likely group to report monogamy in their relationships. Lesbians are the most like to report sexual fidelity, followed by heterosexuals, and then gay males, and last, bisexuals. However, as a group, bisexuals, both men and women, also appear to be the ones most likely to explore negotiated or ethical nonmonogamy, such as polyamory or other forms of open relationships. As a result, bisexuality offers an interesting window into the ways in which couples negotiate complex aspects of trust, jealousy and commitment.
During the ‘80s, and the Oprah-driven panic of the "down-low" phenomena, where straight-acting men were having often unprotected homosexual sex, and possibly exposing their unsuspecting wives and girlfriends to STD and HIV, there were compelling studies of the stigma of bisexuality. Researcher Greg Herek found that on a spectrum of trust and stigma, bisexuals rank below intravenous drug-users. In fact, lawyers are often regarded as more trustworthy than bisexuals (ouch).
A significant challenge in any of this research is defining the concept of bisexuality. I've treated people who have never had sex with someone of the same sex, and are in monogamous heterosexual marriages. But during masturbation and sex with their spouse, these people could only experience arousal and orgasm in response to a fantasy of same sex activity. Are they straight, based upon their behavior, homosexual based upon their arousal pattern, or bisexual based upon both? Kinsey's original definition was based solely upon reported behavior, and suggested most folks ended up somewhere edging towards the middle (slightly bisexual, in one way or another). The late Fritz Klein expanded this concept, to include a grid, of arousal, behavior, fantasy, and social intimacy, recognizing that our definition of sexuality was inherently limiting
Research by Nevada's Meredith Chivers suggests that all women may in fact have some element of bisexual arousal, and tendency to react erotically towards same-sex stimuli. There is controversy in similar research with men, as to whether or not a male pattern of bisexual arousal is detectable, though there are certainly many men who identify as bisexual. And research by Lisa Diamond explores the concept of sexual fluidity, evident in women who fluidly move back and forth between different categories of sexuality, without necessarily adopting a sexual label.
Is it different then, when sexual infidelity occurs, but is bisexual in nature? That is, when a committed partner has an affair with a same-sex person? Anecdotally, I can say that over the past decade or so, I've seen increasing numbers of couples where this occurred, and was generally accepted within the couple, as part of their rules of nonmonogamy. "He can have sex with another guy, but he's not allowed to even look at another woman," one wife told me, describing her bisexual husband. Two men in a committed homosexual relationship likewise told me about the one partner's freedom to have sex with other women, but not men.
Confer and Cloud, from UT Austin, the home of David Buss, and evolutionary research on jealousy, recently published research suggesting that men and women respond to bisexual infidelity differently. Men are far more likely (60 percent) to stay with a female partner, after she has an affair with another woman, than are women likely to stay with their male partner, who has sex with another man (only 26 percent of women would stay in relationship). In contrast, 33 percent of women would stay with a man who had a heterosexual affair, and 25 percent of men would stay with a woman after heterosexual infidelity. The authors suggest that this reflect the role of evolution, and the male fear of cuckoldry driving the great disparity between male reaction to heterosexual or bisexual infidelity. They further suggest that female fear of the loss of intimacy and support, also allegedly driven by evolutionary influences, explains the female pattern, that in male partners, "homosexual affairs are more reflective of ensuing abandonment as they evince a more complete absence of emotional intimacy and satisfaction with one's partner."
I'm not sure the evolutionary argument is a very robust explanation here, in explaining the reaction towards male bisexuality, compared to the influence of stronger social stigma towards male bisexuality. Male bisexuals are seen as more disturbed, untrustworthy and dangerous than are female bisexuals. This perspective may have something to do with evolutionary factors, but if so, it seems pretty indirect. Likewise, are the men who accept their female's partner dalliance with another woman really less concerned because of the absence of the risk of pregnancy, or are they just hoping they now have a shot at a threesome with the other woman, if they don't overreact?
A colleague, who has lived in a homosexual polyamorous relationship for almost three decades, has suggested to me that bisexual satellite relationships are less threatening to a same-sex lover, than choosing an external partner who is the same sex as one's primary mate. It "invites less feeling of comparison, both internal and external." A woman in a polyamorous relationship with her bisexual husband told me, "When my husband chooses an external lover of a different sex than me, I don't feel as triggered to compete. I don't feel like I'm at threat of being replaced, that there's something I'm not giving him, the way I might feel if he chose another woman, then I start worrying that she is better than me somehow."
Ultimately, I'm not sure there is a difference between bisexual and heterosexual fidelity, when it comes to what a couple actually does. For couples and individuals to deal with infidelity, it takes communication, self-knowledge, respect and work. These are the same things it takes for any relationship to work. Bisexuals may come to a relationship with certain predispositions or tendencies away from sexual monogamy, but, like all of us, they make choices, and must deal with the consequences of these choices, within their relationships.
I dislike hypocrisy, but I'm not going to be hatin' on playas. Get your freak on however you wish, as long as it's done in a fair and impartial manner. [/pathetic attempt to sound cool. :cool2:]
Not a fan of hypocrisy either, I try to be a reasonable man.
At the very least, try a cooking course in a food type you enjoy. Women seem to flock to those, and if you enjoy cooking it works for your own dual interests. A man that can cook gets points with women, plus if you can cook some of the more expensive dishes it saves you money.
This is true, I do catorering on the side, I've met more women doing that then anything else.
You, sir, are a better person than the aforementioned ex of mine.
I don't know your situation with your ex, but if you told him threesomes aren't your thing, and he keeps instanting on one then that's just disrespect, and more power to you for punting him like an NFL football.
I don't know your situation with your ex, but if you told him threesomes aren't your thing, and he keeps instanting on one then that's just disrespect, and more power to you for punting him like an NFL football.
Oh, worse than that. He actually tried to guilt me into it. Which actually might've worked if I was like 14 or 15, but given I was something like 17 or 18 at the time and by that age I knew better than to let people nag me into things I don't want to do (especially when sex is involved), yeah, he didn't last too long after that.
Oh, worse than that. He actually tried to guilt me into it. Which actually might've worked if I was like 14 or 15, but given I was something like 17 or 18 at the time and by that age I knew better than to let people nag me into things I don't want to do (especially when sex is involved), yeah, he didn't last too long after that.
Wait, what? He tried to get you in a threesome at 18? what the hell is wrong with people... Personally if any additional partners are going down then you should at least allow all the people involved evolve sexually before going on experiments. I don't know how it is everywhere, but I'm guessing that 18 is still quite very young in the sexual department, hell, even if someone started being active at 14, 18 is still very much fresh.
My wife have a 'special' kinda relationship and I met her when she was 18. I would have never ever in my entire life suggested additional partners until she was ready sexually to advance to different levels. Communication in a relationship is the single most amazing thing when it works
On Teia's exact issue: Suggesting 3some outside of age, now.
Kudos to standing up to what you want or don't want, however look at it from his PoV too. Maybe it is something that totally gets his rocks off. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to convince you to suggest it the next time this situation comes around you should jump at it, I'm saying that compromise needs to be had*, and communication, like I said above, is the key.
*Compromise without being mis-used, please understand that there is quite a fine line there.
Wait, what? He tried to get you in a threesome at 18? what the hell is wrong with people... Personally if any additional partners are going down then you should at least allow all the people involved evolve sexually before going on experiments. I don't know how it is everywhere, but I'm guessing that 18 is still quite very young in the sexual department, hell, even if someone started being active at 14, 18 is still very much fresh.
If you say so. I never really internalized any kind of sexual taboo, to be honest. 14, 18, 20+, whatever, I don't think of it as being weird to start at any age. Course, rereading some of my posts makes me think I come off very differently from the reality of things.
And on the issue of compromise, there are definitely limits to be had, and additional partners are outside those limits as far as I'm concerned.
You, sir, are a better person than the aforementioned ex of mine.
Dunno if your ex's persistence makes him a bad person so much as it made you two a bad match. Wanting or not wanting threesomes are both reasonable stands.
If he really wants to have one and he likes you, shouldn't he try to get you to have one? Just as much as since you really didn't want to have one, you dumped him when he wouldn't relent. Sex is a great enough thing that you should try to find someone compatible with your views on sex. Seems to me that making someone else comfortable by hiding your views and desires would be a ****tier situation just a breaking-up over 'em.
Dunno if your ex's persistence makes him a bad person so much as it made you two a bad match.
Trust me. He was an emotionally manipulative douchebag and I have no problem with calling him an absolutely terrible person for many reasons.
If he really wants to have one and he likes you, shouldn't he try to get you to have one? Just as much as since you really didn't want to have one, you dumped him when he wouldn't relent.
1) Asking me is fair game. Trying to manipulate me into it is not.
2) That wasn't the only reason I dumped him. Kind of a "straw that broke the camel's back" thing, really.
Trust me. He was an emotionally manipulative douchebag and I have no problem with calling him an absolutely terrible person for many reasons.
I trust you on this completely. I just think that wanting threesomes enough to keep talking about them when you say no once or several times doesn't make him bad. Bringing **** buddies into committed relationships requires openness (directness is a big plus too). I just think it would be all that straw I don't know about that makes him a ****head, not the straw relating sexual incompatibilities (again, completely reasonable straw for you to add to your pile. It is perfectly fine for you call BS on anything you don't want to delve into).
Edit: For clarity of our conversation, coupling emotional manipulation with threesome requests is bad. Asking for them is not.
I just think that wanting threesomes enough to keep talking about them when you say no once or several times doesn't make him bad.
I do agree with this. In the same way that there's stuff I'm into that might turn off a partner. A lot of people are like that, when you get down to it (no pun intended).
If you recall, for two Sundays in a row, the girl was at church. Well last Sunday she wasn't. Yesterday (Wednesday night), I decided to give one last final shot. Three strikes and then I'm out, right?
I sent this:
Me: "Hey, I'm trying to get in touch with Jane, is she there?"
Her: "Yep, what you need?"
Me: "Well I wanted to actually talk to her. Is now a good time to call?"
Her: "Um, not actually, sorry"
Me: "k. Hey can you ask her what her plans look like for this weekend and get back to me? I was wanting to hang out sometime."
Her: "Okay sure"
*No response. Ever*
It completely blows my mind and defies logic. And you know what? I really don't even know if the "friend" is even giving the message to the girl. Because when I asked the girl about it the second sunday, she seemed genuinely confused and said the friend never mentioned anything about it. I have a pretty good lie detector, and this girl was telling the truth.
This girl exhibited every sign of being into me. I will recap them to stir your memory.
1. She was touching me during our conversations.
2. After the first conversation, she later talked to my sister and just raved about me. I quote, "Why haven't you ever told me about your brother? He is so great! Where has he been hiding all this time?"
3. For two Sundays in a row, she chose to skip her Sunday meetings and talk with me for a full 2 hours.
4. When I mentioned hanging out on the second Sunday, my sister was around and said, "jdinatale, when you mentioned hanging out, that girl looked down right giddy! She seems really into you"
I'm not trying to be rude or arrogant when I say this, but this girl would not be considered physically attractive to pretty much 99% of the world. If I had to say, I would place her around a 3/10. I know that sounds mean, but my point is, clearly she is not the best looking girl around. I don't know if it shows in my pictures, but many many women complement me on how handsome and muscular I am in real life. I don't take it to the head though, I actually have really low body image and self esteem.
Again, I realize how cocky I'm sounding right now, but trust me, I don't come across like that in real life. The point I'm trying to make is, clearly I am the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl, and if we did ever go out, people would probably think, "HE's going out with HER???" just to point out the disparity in our looks. The fact is, she is just a really cool, interesting, and fun person, and that negates the fact that she might not be the best looking girl around. So considering all of the signs she displayed, and the aforementioned signs of her liking me, what is with all of this irrational behavior?
I just don't get it. This is what I feel like texting (I'm not going to) "Listen, Sasuke or Ichigo, or Jane or whoever the **** you really are. What you're doing is pretty rude. I don't know if you think its funny or what, but I have yet to get an actual message from Jane. Just be honest and tell me what's really going on, it doesn't even matter how ridiculous it sounds, just be honest with me."
I'm not trying to be rude or arrogant when I say this, but this girl would not be considered physically attractive to pretty much 99% of the world. If I had to say, I would place her around a 3/10. I know that sounds mean, but my point is, clearly she is not the best looking girl around. I don't know if it shows in my pictures, but many many women complement me on how handsome and muscular I am in real life. I don't take it to the head though, I actually have really low body image and self esteem.
You might not be trying to sound arrogant, but you certainly come across that way. Also, the way you trash her simply because she didn't go out with you doesn't help, nor does the way you made it sound like she should be grateful to have you and that she's somehow beneath you. One of the fastest ways to make someone not want you is to make them feel smaller and worse than you, and to try to talk about yourself like you're some superior being who they should feel lucky to have because they're obviously inferio-- a 3/10.
Honestly though this mostly sounds like you trashing her to protect your own ego...
@jdinatale, I'm not going to give you dating advice. But its clear that you need to stop going "mean" every time something doesn't go your way. The way you lash out at and belittle this girl in the face of rejection is transparently defensive, and pretty unpleasant to read about.
You may not intend to be mean, but you are:
Quote from jdinatale »
I'm not trying to be rude or arrogant when I say this, but this girl would not be considered physically attractive to pretty much 99% of the world...
If I had to say, I would place her around a 3/10...
I know that sounds mean, but my point is, clearly she is not the best looking girl around...
The point I'm trying to make is, clearly I am the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl...
and if we did ever go out, people would probably think, "HE's going out with HER???" just to point out the disparity in our looks.
It's her choice. Let it go. Cool off.
All the girl did was ignore your uninvited solicitation. She doesn't deserve to be degraded because that frustrates you. All this drama you've created is IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
When you've calmed down enough to think straight, you should ask your sister to scope out what happened and why the girl didn't want to go out with you. That way you can avoid making the same mistake again with other girls, if it's something you did. It might not be. It could be she found some other dude (what, you think OTHER guys don't like girls who are "really cool, interesting, and fun person"? )
I would have suggested that you talk to the girl yourself, but I'm starting to get the impression that even mild rejection brings out the worst in you.
-
I had a lot more to say, but I just deleted it all, because my goal is not to degrade or crush your self-esteem.
But you need to understand that if other people think you have a nice body, but you claim that your own body is a 6/10, that does NOT make you "humble".
All it means that you have unrealistic standards for everybody. I'm sure if you saw me, you'd think I'm a 3... and if you saw let's say Captain Morgan, you'd call him maybe a 5. And that the girl you're chasing is AT LEAST average looking or attractive to most guys, but in your head, you're tossing her a 3/10.
Seek professional help for your "issues"... and try not to be so mean every time you're hurt. You're taking it all way too personally.
Dude that exchange between you and the friend was weak stuff. Ask her out when you see her. Not to be rude but you sound like a little *****. Maybe she isn't into you, who cares. Not every woman finds Gerard Butler attractive but do you think he goes and *****es about it and calls them 3/10s online? The real 3/10 is you dude. Maybe develop some self esteem,a personality and some balls.
On Topic Update
I'm not trying to be rude or arrogant when I say this, but this girl would not be considered physically attractive to pretty much 99% of the world. If I had to say, I would place her around a 3/10. I know that sounds mean, but my point is, clearly she is not the best looking girl around. I don't know if it shows in my pictures, but many many women complement me on how handsome and muscular I am in real life. I don't take it to the head though, I actually have really low body image and self esteem.
Again, I realize how cocky I'm sounding right now, but trust me, I don't come across like that in real life. The point I'm trying to make is, clearly I am the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl, and if we did ever go out, people would probably think, "HE's going out with HER???" just to point out the disparity in our looks. The fact is, she is just a really cool, interesting, and fun person, and that negates the fact that she might not be the best looking girl around. So considering all of the signs she displayed, and the aforementioned signs of her liking me, what is with all of this irrational behavior?
I just don't get it. This is what I feel like texting (I'm not going to) "Listen, Sasuke or Ichigo, or Jane or whoever the **** you really are. What you're doing is pretty rude. I don't know if you think its funny or what, but I have yet to get an actual message from Jane. Just be honest and tell me what's really going on, it doesn't even matter how ridiculous it sounds, just be honest with me."
But no, that would be too logical.
Because the other posters on this forum are being FAR too nice to you about this I'm gonna play the bad guy, because you need to hear this.
You. are. not. that. good. looking.
Seriously bro, you're passable, but if most people see you on the street they wouldn't look twice, you're average, factor in your messed up personality (do you have any idea how horrible it is when I'M the one saying this), and you're not exactly what most girls consider "a catch".
You know what, she probably does really like you, how do you think she would feel if she read this post?
I sincerely doubt you want to date this girl for any other reason than to boost your self-esteem.
If you date this girl it will end up very bad for you both, you need to fix your ****ed up personality before you date anyone.
Again sorry to play the bad guy, but there are probably at least 10 people on this forum that were just too nice not to say it, and you need to hear it.
Yeah dude you look like you have been skipping out on your oats and squats. Girls like dudes with strong legs because at a biological and primitive level it says "I can do you hard and plant my seed".
Yeah dude you look like you have been skipping out on your oats and squats. Girls like dudes with strong legs because at a biological and primitive level it says "I can do you hard and plant my seed".
U aware?
Also ya, legs are far-and-away the most important group, you don't look like you've hit them enough.
Stop denigrating women by treating them as some objectives. Personally, the way you're describing <insert name here> is really rather dehumanizing. You haven't really described what makes her fun, interesting, or <insert generic adjective here>. Instead, everything you've described suggests that she's only good at inflating your ego, which is why you're hunting for more. You shouldn't need others to validate your own existence; if anything, contribute something towards the world and that action will inherently generate value.
I don't take it to the head though, I actually have really low body image and self esteem.
That part's actually rather obvious, given how you seem to view her as a thing to be obtained, and seem to think it's a terrible slight against you that she isn't as (openly?) interested in you as you think she should be.
You think you're "the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl"? Maybe, but that sounds like you trying to put all the blame on her. Stop that.
You think you're "the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl"? Maybe, but that sounds like you trying to put all the blame on her. Stop that.
Not to mention the fact that he is basically saying that he knows exactly what she finds attractive.
@jdinatale: what if she considers your looks a "3/10" as well? Think about that.
Yeah I feel really crappy about calling her a 3/10, it's really not right to say stuff like that about people. She was a really nice girl and that was just a jerk move for me to rant like that.
Truth be known, I'm really the 3/10. It's just that I get emotionally attached easily when I find people I like, so it's extra hard on me when the situation doesn't go my way. Like someone mentioned above, I take rejection way to personally.
And when situations turn irrational, like the one now, I get even more upset and I usually lash out on the internet to complete strangers like you saw above.
It doesn't help that I am on 6 extremely powerful prescription drugs that can also mess with my emotions (Testosterone Cypionate, Arimidex, Xanax, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Ambien)
I think I clearly explained why I like this girl. We have a ton in common. We both watched Batman: The Animated Series as a kid, we both played with those ninja turtle toys where you click them to the side and they do a flip. We both read XCXD.
Usually my conversations with girls go something like this: "So what do you like to do for fun? Oh, that's cool. So what do you plan to do when you get out of school? Oh, that's cool. What's your major? Oh, that's cool. Did you see that thunderstorm the other day? Yeah, that was pretty cool."
When talking to the average girl, I end up talking about the most mundane things like weather, careers, school, etc and it usually feels like a business interview....because we usually don't have much in common.
But with "Jane," we talked about all kinds of geeky things that I don't get to talk about with other girls. Heck, I had more in common with her than I do with most guy acquaintances I know.
With "Jane," I got to go down memory lane and feel like a kid again, as we talked for hours about childhood toys, tv shows, video games, etc.
Does that clear it up why I like her? She stands out from the crowd of typical college aged girls.
-Book clubs
-Night college courses or local classes such as cooking classes. Specifically popular are social sciences, business, pallottis, and especially language courses.
-Networking with friends, especially other women. This is the big one, if you know girl A then she will know girl B, C, D, and ect.
-Clubs and organizations such as church organizations, political groups, and ect.
-Athletics, some women do like martial arts and ect.
At the very least, try a cooking course in a food type you enjoy. Women seem to flock to those, and if you enjoy cooking it works for your own dual interests. A man that can cook gets points with women, plus if you can cook some of the more expensive dishes it saves you money.
Interesting, reminds me of the old advice about "Intelligent women having better sex." Never figured there would be a factor with "less use of immature psychological defense mechanisms" and a scientific study.
I'll have to admit, that's one stereotype I've heard about bisexual women over the years. I think it extends from the rarity combined with the shock of being cheated on, so therefore there's a vector point where "bisexual women cheat more." Since a man is more likely to be inflamed by a woman cheating on a man with another woman. It doesn't make either the cheater nor the stereotype correct, but a sad biproduct.
In regards to searching the nets:
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201101/does-bisexual-infidelity-count
Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.
Individualities may form communities, but it is institutions alone that can create a nation.
Nothing succeeds like the appearance of success.
Here is my principle: Taxes shall be levied according to ability to pay. That is the only American principle.
Not a fan of hypocrisy either, I try to be a reasonable man.
This is true, I do catorering on the side, I've met more women doing that then anything else.
I don't know your situation with your ex, but if you told him threesomes aren't your thing, and he keeps instanting on one then that's just disrespect, and more power to you for punting him like an NFL football.
Oh, worse than that. He actually tried to guilt me into it. Which actually might've worked if I was like 14 or 15, but given I was something like 17 or 18 at the time and by that age I knew better than to let people nag me into things I don't want to do (especially when sex is involved), yeah, he didn't last too long after that.
Wait, what? He tried to get you in a threesome at 18? what the hell is wrong with people... Personally if any additional partners are going down then you should at least allow all the people involved evolve sexually before going on experiments. I don't know how it is everywhere, but I'm guessing that 18 is still quite very young in the sexual department, hell, even if someone started being active at 14, 18 is still very much fresh.
My wife have a 'special' kinda relationship and I met her when she was 18. I would have never ever in my entire life suggested additional partners until she was ready sexually to advance to different levels. Communication in a relationship is the single most amazing thing when it works
On Teia's exact issue: Suggesting 3some outside of age, now.
Kudos to standing up to what you want or don't want, however look at it from his PoV too. Maybe it is something that totally gets his rocks off. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to convince you to suggest it the next time this situation comes around you should jump at it, I'm saying that compromise needs to be had*, and communication, like I said above, is the key.
*Compromise without being mis-used, please understand that there is quite a fine line there.
To be honest I am happy with one woman and would never want a second involved. I just don't like it.
Now on the OP's question, how about you just casually ask her about her stance on gay rights and if she is religious at all?
LOL
If you say so. I never really internalized any kind of sexual taboo, to be honest. 14, 18, 20+, whatever, I don't think of it as being weird to start at any age. Course, rereading some of my posts makes me think I come off very differently from the reality of things.
And on the issue of compromise, there are definitely limits to be had, and additional partners are outside those limits as far as I'm concerned.
If he really wants to have one and he likes you, shouldn't he try to get you to have one? Just as much as since you really didn't want to have one, you dumped him when he wouldn't relent. Sex is a great enough thing that you should try to find someone compatible with your views on sex. Seems to me that making someone else comfortable by hiding your views and desires would be a ****tier situation just a breaking-up over 'em.
Moderator Help Desk
Sales Thread
Trust me. He was an emotionally manipulative douchebag and I have no problem with calling him an absolutely terrible person for many reasons.
1) Asking me is fair game. Trying to manipulate me into it is not.
2) That wasn't the only reason I dumped him. Kind of a "straw that broke the camel's back" thing, really.
Edit: For clarity of our conversation, coupling emotional manipulation with threesome requests is bad. Asking for them is not.
Moderator Help Desk
Sales Thread
I do agree with this. In the same way that there's stuff I'm into that might turn off a partner. A lot of people are like that, when you get down to it (no pun intended).
Moderator Help Desk
Sales Thread
If you recall, for two Sundays in a row, the girl was at church. Well last Sunday she wasn't. Yesterday (Wednesday night), I decided to give one last final shot. Three strikes and then I'm out, right?
I sent this:
Me: "Hey, I'm trying to get in touch with Jane, is she there?"
Her: "Yep, what you need?"
Me: "Well I wanted to actually talk to her. Is now a good time to call?"
Her: "Um, not actually, sorry"
Me: "k. Hey can you ask her what her plans look like for this weekend and get back to me? I was wanting to hang out sometime."
Her: "Okay sure"
*No response. Ever*
It completely blows my mind and defies logic. And you know what? I really don't even know if the "friend" is even giving the message to the girl. Because when I asked the girl about it the second sunday, she seemed genuinely confused and said the friend never mentioned anything about it. I have a pretty good lie detector, and this girl was telling the truth.
This girl exhibited every sign of being into me. I will recap them to stir your memory.
1. She was touching me during our conversations.
2. After the first conversation, she later talked to my sister and just raved about me. I quote, "Why haven't you ever told me about your brother? He is so great! Where has he been hiding all this time?"
3. For two Sundays in a row, she chose to skip her Sunday meetings and talk with me for a full 2 hours.
4. When I mentioned hanging out on the second Sunday, my sister was around and said, "jdinatale, when you mentioned hanging out, that girl looked down right giddy! She seems really into you"
I'm not trying to be rude or arrogant when I say this, but this girl would not be considered physically attractive to pretty much 99% of the world. If I had to say, I would place her around a 3/10. I know that sounds mean, but my point is, clearly she is not the best looking girl around. I don't know if it shows in my pictures, but many many women complement me on how handsome and muscular I am in real life. I don't take it to the head though, I actually have really low body image and self esteem.
Again, I realize how cocky I'm sounding right now, but trust me, I don't come across like that in real life. The point I'm trying to make is, clearly I am the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl, and if we did ever go out, people would probably think, "HE's going out with HER???" just to point out the disparity in our looks. The fact is, she is just a really cool, interesting, and fun person, and that negates the fact that she might not be the best looking girl around. So considering all of the signs she displayed, and the aforementioned signs of her liking me, what is with all of this irrational behavior?
I just don't get it. This is what I feel like texting (I'm not going to) "Listen, Sasuke or Ichigo, or Jane or whoever the **** you really are. What you're doing is pretty rude. I don't know if you think its funny or what, but I have yet to get an actual message from Jane. Just be honest and tell me what's really going on, it doesn't even matter how ridiculous it sounds, just be honest with me."
But no, that would be too logical.
You do not belong anywhere near this girl or any woman in general right now if this is what's going through your head.
The Saga of Arkay
You might not be trying to sound arrogant, but you certainly come across that way. Also, the way you trash her simply because she didn't go out with you doesn't help, nor does the way you made it sound like she should be grateful to have you and that she's somehow beneath you. One of the fastest ways to make someone not want you is to make them feel smaller and worse than you, and to try to talk about yourself like you're some superior being who they should feel lucky to have because they're obviously inferio-- a 3/10.
Honestly though this mostly sounds like you trashing her to protect your own ego...
You may not intend to be mean, but you are:
It's her choice. Let it go. Cool off.
All the girl did was ignore your uninvited solicitation. She doesn't deserve to be degraded because that frustrates you. All this drama you've created is IN YOUR HEAD ONLY.
When you've calmed down enough to think straight, you should ask your sister to scope out what happened and why the girl didn't want to go out with you. That way you can avoid making the same mistake again with other girls, if it's something you did. It might not be. It could be she found some other dude (what, you think OTHER guys don't like girls who are "really cool, interesting, and fun person"? )
I would have suggested that you talk to the girl yourself, but I'm starting to get the impression that even mild rejection brings out the worst in you.
-
I had a lot more to say, but I just deleted it all, because my goal is not to degrade or crush your self-esteem.
But you need to understand that if other people think you have a nice body, but you claim that your own body is a 6/10, that does NOT make you "humble".
All it means that you have unrealistic standards for everybody. I'm sure if you saw me, you'd think I'm a 3... and if you saw let's say Captain Morgan, you'd call him maybe a 5. And that the girl you're chasing is AT LEAST average looking or attractive to most guys, but in your head, you're tossing her a 3/10.
Seek professional help for your "issues"... and try not to be so mean every time you're hurt. You're taking it all way too personally.
Because the other posters on this forum are being FAR too nice to you about this I'm gonna play the bad guy, because you need to hear this.
You. are. not. that. good. looking.
Seriously bro, you're passable, but if most people see you on the street they wouldn't look twice, you're average, factor in your messed up personality (do you have any idea how horrible it is when I'M the one saying this), and you're not exactly what most girls consider "a catch".
You know what, she probably does really like you, how do you think she would feel if she read this post?
I sincerely doubt you want to date this girl for any other reason than to boost your self-esteem.
If you date this girl it will end up very bad for you both, you need to fix your ****ed up personality before you date anyone.
Again sorry to play the bad guy, but there are probably at least 10 people on this forum that were just too nice not to say it, and you need to hear it.
td;lr if I were her I wouldn't want to date you.
U aware?
Also ya, legs are far-and-away the most important group, you don't look like you've hit them enough.
In the meantime, stay away from women.
Pish posh, nobody can resist thighs of steel! Until you can crush entire villages between your legs, you're inadequate.
Because after all: If you don't squat, you ain't squat.
No doubt he hasn't hit his legs enough. No surprise there though. Doubt he's ever done a front or overhead squat or even a real deadlift.
The Saga of Arkay
But...I did have a revelation:
Step 1: Cut a hole in a box
Step 2: Put your junk in that box
Step 3: Make her open the box
Step 4: Profit
...and that's the way you do it!
That part's actually rather obvious, given how you seem to view her as a thing to be obtained, and seem to think it's a terrible slight against you that she isn't as (openly?) interested in you as you think she should be.
You think you're "the best looking guy who would ever approach this girl"? Maybe, but that sounds like you trying to put all the blame on her. Stop that.
Not to mention the fact that he is basically saying that he knows exactly what she finds attractive.
@jdinatale: what if she considers your looks a "3/10" as well? Think about that.
The Saga of Arkay
Truth be known, I'm really the 3/10. It's just that I get emotionally attached easily when I find people I like, so it's extra hard on me when the situation doesn't go my way. Like someone mentioned above, I take rejection way to personally.
And when situations turn irrational, like the one now, I get even more upset and I usually lash out on the internet to complete strangers like you saw above.
It doesn't help that I am on 6 extremely powerful prescription drugs that can also mess with my emotions (Testosterone Cypionate, Arimidex, Xanax, Prozac, Wellbutrin, Ambien)
I think I clearly explained why I like this girl. We have a ton in common. We both watched Batman: The Animated Series as a kid, we both played with those ninja turtle toys where you click them to the side and they do a flip. We both read XCXD.
Usually my conversations with girls go something like this: "So what do you like to do for fun? Oh, that's cool. So what do you plan to do when you get out of school? Oh, that's cool. What's your major? Oh, that's cool. Did you see that thunderstorm the other day? Yeah, that was pretty cool."
When talking to the average girl, I end up talking about the most mundane things like weather, careers, school, etc and it usually feels like a business interview....because we usually don't have much in common.
But with "Jane," we talked about all kinds of geeky things that I don't get to talk about with other girls. Heck, I had more in common with her than I do with most guy acquaintances I know.
With "Jane," I got to go down memory lane and feel like a kid again, as we talked for hours about childhood toys, tv shows, video games, etc.
Does that clear it up why I like her? She stands out from the crowd of typical college aged girls.
Aware. miscer?