Queen Kalissa2BGU
Legendary Creature - Naga Wizard
Whenever a Naga or Snake creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may tap another target creature. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step. 3, Tap an untapped Naga or Snake creature you control: The tapped creature deals damage equal to its power to another target tapped creature. 1, Discard a card: Target Naga or Snake creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn. Activate this ability only once per turn.
3/5
Queen Kalissa is themed around the three most common weapons snakes use in media: hypnosis, constriction, and venom. Her three abilities each reference one of these effects. The first effect is the hypnosis part; whenever a Naga or Snake enters the battlefield, it can hypnotize another creature, tapping it down for a turn. The second ability is primarily constriction; the Naga or Snake squeezes another creature, but they can only target a creature that's tapped (say, by the hypnosis effect). The third ability grants deathtouch to a Naga or Snake for a turn, which turns the second ability into a venomous bite. Thus, Kalissa's three effects work in tandem.
Private Mod Note
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MTGS Wikia Article about "New World Order"
Every time I read a comment about "Well if this card had card draw/trample/haste/indestructible/hexproof/life gain...", I think "You're missing the point." They're armchair developer comments that fail to take into account the card's role in the greater Limited and Standard environment. No, it may not be as good as whatever card you're comparing it to. There's a reason for that. Not every burn spell is Lightning Bolt, nor does it need to be or should be.
PSA to everyone who keeps forgetting about the Reserved List:
You're on a website dedicated to talking about MtG. You're only a few keystrokes away from finding out what cards are on the Reserved List. You're also only a few keystrokes away from finding out why some cards on the Reserved List got foil printings in FtV, as Judge promos, or whatnot, as well as why that won't happen again. Stop doing this.
MTGS Wikia Article about "New World Order"
Every time I read a comment about "Well if this card had card draw/trample/haste/indestructible/hexproof/life gain...", I think "You're missing the point." They're armchair developer comments that fail to take into account the card's role in the greater Limited and Standard environment. No, it may not be as good as whatever card you're comparing it to. There's a reason for that. Not every burn spell is Lightning Bolt, nor does it need to be or should be.
PSA to everyone who keeps forgetting about the Reserved List:
You're on a website dedicated to talking about MtG. You're only a few keystrokes away from finding out what cards are on the Reserved List. You're also only a few keystrokes away from finding out why some cards on the Reserved List got foil printings in FtV, as Judge promos, or whatnot, as well as why that won't happen again. Stop doing this.
Ten lines of text is not what I'd call "just fine". I think eight lines of text is the limit of "fine". It's not beyond doable, but it's exceptional and uses a text size we usually only see on planeswalkers (and only because they scale to their wordiest ability even if they use otherwise less lines).
For reference The wordiest card of M20, I think, is the red mythic Cavalier of Flame with nine lines (there is also Voracious Hydra collecting lines due to modal effect wording).
I personally would make an effort to cut down on that wording.
Maybe use a tap-symbol to shorten the last one (or maybe consider whether the card disadvantage itself is enough of a limitation on this ability, actually).
Maybe one of those "Naga or Snake" abilities also can eschew the tribal aspect and just work with any creature. I once again consider the last ability.
Would the second ability be shorter if you used "Naga and Snake creatures you control have *foo*" wording? (it both allows use of the tap symbol and "this creature".
My quick check tells me the text size goes up two-three points and you get down to nine lines, eight if the second ability uses fight rather than one-sided fight.
You probably don't want to use all of these options, but may want to consider some of them.
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Planar Chaos was not a mistake neither was it random. You might want to look at it again.
[thread=239793][Game] Level Up - Creature[/thread]
I was going to simply make the Deathtouch effect free discard, but that does enable Madness and Delve concerningly easily, especially if I remove the "once a turn" limitation. I'll try implementing some of your suggestions, though. I'll also try shortening the hypnosis effect a bit. How's this?
Queen Kalissa2BGU
Legendary Creature - Naga Wizard
Whenever a Naga or Snake creature you control enters the battlefield, you may tap another target creature. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
Each creature you control that's a Naga or Snake has "T: This creature deals damage equal to its power to another target tapped creature."
Discard a card: Target Naga or Snake creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn.
3/5
MTGS Wikia Article about "New World Order"
Every time I read a comment about "Well if this card had card draw/trample/haste/indestructible/hexproof/life gain...", I think "You're missing the point." They're armchair developer comments that fail to take into account the card's role in the greater Limited and Standard environment. No, it may not be as good as whatever card you're comparing it to. There's a reason for that. Not every burn spell is Lightning Bolt, nor does it need to be or should be.
PSA to everyone who keeps forgetting about the Reserved List:
You're on a website dedicated to talking about MtG. You're only a few keystrokes away from finding out what cards are on the Reserved List. You're also only a few keystrokes away from finding out why some cards on the Reserved List got foil printings in FtV, as Judge promos, or whatnot, as well as why that won't happen again. Stop doing this.
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Queen Kalissa 2BGU
Legendary Creature - Naga Wizard
Whenever a Naga or Snake creature enters the battlefield under your control, you may tap another target creature. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
3, Tap an untapped Naga or Snake creature you control: The tapped creature deals damage equal to its power to another target tapped creature.
1, Discard a card: Target Naga or Snake creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn. Activate this ability only once per turn.
3/5
Queen Kalissa is themed around the three most common weapons snakes use in media: hypnosis, constriction, and venom. Her three abilities each reference one of these effects. The first effect is the hypnosis part; whenever a Naga or Snake enters the battlefield, it can hypnotize another creature, tapping it down for a turn. The second ability is primarily constriction; the Naga or Snake squeezes another creature, but they can only target a creature that's tapped (say, by the hypnosis effect). The third ability grants deathtouch to a Naga or Snake for a turn, which turns the second ability into a venomous bite. Thus, Kalissa's three effects work in tandem.
Every time I read a comment about "Well if this card had card draw/trample/haste/indestructible/hexproof/life gain...", I think "You're missing the point." They're armchair developer comments that fail to take into account the card's role in the greater Limited and Standard environment. No, it may not be as good as whatever card you're comparing it to. There's a reason for that. Not every burn spell is Lightning Bolt, nor does it need to be or should be.
Every time I read a comment about "Well if this card had card draw/trample/haste/indestructible/hexproof/life gain...", I think "You're missing the point." They're armchair developer comments that fail to take into account the card's role in the greater Limited and Standard environment. No, it may not be as good as whatever card you're comparing it to. There's a reason for that. Not every burn spell is Lightning Bolt, nor does it need to be or should be.
For reference The wordiest card of M20, I think, is the red mythic Cavalier of Flame with nine lines (there is also Voracious Hydra collecting lines due to modal effect wording).
I personally would make an effort to cut down on that wording.
My quick check tells me the text size goes up two-three points and you get down to nine lines, eight if the second ability uses fight rather than one-sided fight.
You probably don't want to use all of these options, but may want to consider some of them.
Finally a good white villain quote: "So, do I ever re-evaluate my life choices? Never, because I know what I'm doing is a righteous cause."
Factions: Sleeping
Remnants: Valheim
Legendary Journey: Heroes & Planeswalkers
Saga: Shards of Rabiah
Legends: The Elder Dragons
Read up on Red Flags & NWO
Queen Kalissa 2BGU
Legendary Creature - Naga Wizard
Whenever a Naga or Snake creature you control enters the battlefield, you may tap another target creature. That creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step.
Each creature you control that's a Naga or Snake has "T: This creature deals damage equal to its power to another target tapped creature."
Discard a card: Target Naga or Snake creature you control gains deathtouch until end of turn.
3/5
Every time I read a comment about "Well if this card had card draw/trample/haste/indestructible/hexproof/life gain...", I think "You're missing the point." They're armchair developer comments that fail to take into account the card's role in the greater Limited and Standard environment. No, it may not be as good as whatever card you're comparing it to. There's a reason for that. Not every burn spell is Lightning Bolt, nor does it need to be or should be.