I have two possible wordings for a mechanic and I'm curious what the rules implications are for each of them so I can make the right choice between them.
Proud Soldier1W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
Persevere (If damage would be dealt to this creature, put a -1/-1 counter on it instead.)
2/2
Glorious Soldier1W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
Persevere (If a source would deal damage to this creature, put a -1/-1 counter on this creature instead.)
2/2
The only real difference I can think of right now is Proud Soldier will only get 1 counter when multiple sources would deal damage (blocked by multiple creatures for example), while Glorious Soldier would get a counter for source.
The first is quite similar to the Phantom cycle, other than the fact it just replaces the damage rather than preventing it.
If damage would be dealt to ~, put that many -1/-1 counters on it instead.
Why would a keyword called "Persevere" make the creature much worse at surviving? Your version, on its own, is purely a drawback and basically gives all sources that deal damage to it wither. The point of the mechanic seems to be that any instance of damage puts a single -1/-1 on the creature. Blasphemous Act? Your persevere creatures stick around, or persevere if you will, but are a bit weaker.
I think Lord of Atlantis missed what the OP was trying to do.
What persevere is supposed to do is function similarly to the Phantomcycle, where it requires one source of damage for each point of toughness, instead of simply 1 damage for every point of toughness, to kill the creature. The trade off here is that the creature loses power whenever they take damage. Presumably, a set with persevere would also include some way to positively interact with your creatures having -1/-1 counters, a la Quillspike, Blowfly Infestation, and Power Conduit.
There appear to be two and a half ways of going about this. One is simple. A slight modification of this ability (replacing "that many" with "a") and switching to -1/-1 counters should work. However, there are other precedents as well. Lichenthrope would appear to back the last version, again you would simply need to change "that many" to "a". The aforementioned Phantoms are also interesting, as they are seemingly the only creatures besides Lichenthrope that have the property of replacing damage with something else that directly negatively effects them (I strongly feel like I'm forgetting some hydra or artifact creature cycle, but meh). It's hard to say however, because it is removing counters instead of placing them. Finally, Vigor is one gigantic mess that is probably best not to take any inspiration from, because that's just too much reminder text, and it's fairly confusing, to boot.
In the end, I think Proud Soldier's wording is already exactly what the OP is looking for.
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Proud Soldier 1W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
Persevere (If damage would be dealt to this creature, put a -1/-1 counter on it instead.)
2/2
Glorious Soldier 1W
Creature - Human Soldier (C)
Persevere (If a source would deal damage to this creature, put a -1/-1 counter on this creature instead.)
2/2
Or is there a better wording I should consider?
The first is quite similar to the Phantom cycle, other than the fact it just replaces the damage rather than preventing it.
If damage would be dealt to ~, put that many -1/-1 counters on it instead.
........................
What persevere is supposed to do is function similarly to the Phantom cycle, where it requires one source of damage for each point of toughness, instead of simply 1 damage for every point of toughness, to kill the creature. The trade off here is that the creature loses power whenever they take damage. Presumably, a set with persevere would also include some way to positively interact with your creatures having -1/-1 counters, a la Quillspike, Blowfly Infestation, and Power Conduit.
There appear to be two and a half ways of going about this. One is simple. A slight modification of this ability (replacing "that many" with "a") and switching to -1/-1 counters should work. However, there are other precedents as well. Lichenthrope would appear to back the last version, again you would simply need to change "that many" to "a". The aforementioned Phantoms are also interesting, as they are seemingly the only creatures besides Lichenthrope that have the property of replacing damage with something else that directly negatively effects them (I strongly feel like I'm forgetting some hydra or artifact creature cycle, but meh). It's hard to say however, because it is removing counters instead of placing them. Finally, Vigor is one gigantic mess that is probably best not to take any inspiration from, because that's just too much reminder text, and it's fairly confusing, to boot.
In the end, I think Proud Soldier's wording is already exactly what the OP is looking for.