MTG Salvation

Lasersharp is even more cruel--he hides out with a sniper rifle and picks off anyone that he thinks has a chance! No, not Paul Kasemir!

Lasersharp has the longest fingernails in Canada--measuring 4.52 feet in length on average. He uses his tongue and nose to type.

Lasersharp thinks it counts if you use a helicopter.

Soulbanana knows 237 ways to kill someone with a waffle.

Every Mother's Day, voldgift gives his mom a photocopy of his *****.

Lasersharp is so infuriated by candy that he goes on a mad stomping spree every Halloween to crush all the candy in every kid's trick-or-treat bag! What a meanie!

Caiaphas invented his own definition of creamy nougat. Just telling you what it consists of could get me arrested!

voldgift only wears used women's underwear.

Lasersharp would listen to Cannibal Corpse more, but he considers their song titles and lyrics to be too mundane and uneventful.

voldgift created a line of sex toys based on Pokémon characters, but he refuses to sell any of them and keep them all for himself. Greedy bastard!

voldgift's favorite Nintendo game is Bukkake Mario.

voldgift is only saying that to hide the dirty truth--the dinosaurs died because he gave them all erectile dysfunction.

voldgift lives in a shoebox inside Ryan Seacrest's vacation villa in Naples.

Caiaphas has a glory hole at his local shop named in his honor.

Lasersharp enjoys visiting goatse because he loves to see goats. He actually hasn't seen any goats on the site, but he still visits it multiple times a day.