Get Magic Workstation and practice. Save money while doing this so when you do show up at the LGS you'll have some hope. This is what I'm doing with Modern. I can't afford to play tournaments yet, but I'm getting close.
It is an all out aggro deck with burn for reach. It is consistent and surprisingly resilient. I came to this build after trying many goblin decks that had a higher curve. I found that a lower curve was working better for me.
I'm still working on the sideboard. It's difficult to decide what I'm going to side out since tinkering with the main deck at all can have undesired effects. The Pyroclasms will be taken out once I figure out what I'd rather have there.
Edit:
Breaking the Deck Down
This deck has one purpose, get your opponent to 0 ASAP. The way this deck accomplishes it is by overwhelming your opponents with cheap bodies. There are 23 creatures and between the Mogg War Marshals and Dragon Fodders you get another 12 Goblins. Since the mana curve tops at 3, you can create a board presence quickly.
Creatures
Goblin Guide
I don't see why anyone playing goblins seriously would even consider cutting him. A 2/2 hasty dude for one. Yes he can give your opponent card advantage, but it's irrelevant for two reasons. One, this deck is often times too fast for card advantage to matter. Second, if a land isn't revealed, we get to see what they are drawing and can plan accordingly. Automatic 4.
Mogg War Marshal
A great card for anyone looking to play more dudes than the opponent can handle. He's a 1/1 that makes a 1/1 when he CitP and another one to replace him when he dies. The drawback is the echo cost. I find that it creates a tempo loss in the early game, so I put it at 3. I'm thinking of adding a fourth to the sideboard for matchups that have a lot of counters.
Goblin Bushwhacker
A win con of sorts. The only time I play this is when I can kick it and it will mean something. Otherwise he's just a 1/1. What's nice about this pump spell is that with Cavern of souls it can't be countered. Auto 4.
Goblin Chieftain
Our lord that grants us haste. He's the guy that will usually eat removal immediately because the game will end quickly if he's on the board. I thought of cutting him to 3, but granting haste just helps so much when you can play multiple creatures the next turn. He's staying at 4.
Foundry Street Denizen
A 1/1 that gets +1/+0 for every red creature that comes into play until end of turn. That's what this deck does. He's the preferred turn one play, second being Goblin Guide. He eats removal a lot as well because he's swinging for at least 2 and usually 3 or 4 by turn 3. Auto 4.
Legion Loyalist
A hasty 1/1 one drop. What makes him special is his Battalion ability, granting all of your creatures first strike, trample, and making them unblockable by tokens. This guy is a key component in the alpha strike. Auto 4.
Spells
Lightning Bold
If you turn Mountains sideways and you don't play lightning bolt, you're a moron.
Goblin Grenade
This card wins games. I will only use it to target a player, unless targeting a creature will either win me the game or keep me from losing the game the next turn. We play lots of dudes, so sacrificing isn't a problem, unless it's countered. These usually get sided out against counters.
Dragon Fodder
Two 1/1 goblins for two. I prefer to see this early game because I can have two creatures attacking next turn without having to tap 2 lands. If they had haste, it would be a 4 of. They don't so I'm running 3.
Shared Animosity
This card is just win. We play lots of dudes, and we play them fast. When combined with Legion Loyalist and a kicked Bushwhacker it's GG. Just downright unfair when multiples hit the board. Auto 4
Faithless Looting
This is a card that when played at the right time can win you games. It's ok early, but I'd rather see it later when the board is stalled and all I'm drawing is land. The trick to this card is holding on to your lands once you hit 6. This will give you something to pitch when you draw. I settled at two because it's a win more card.
I will go into detail on the sideboard once it's complete. I will also talk about cards that I tried, but ended up cutting
considering that you just started most of the book will go right over your head. if there are any other books that you have in mind i would get one of them instead.
however, if it is the book you want, get it. fully absorbing the material in the book will take years. if you only play casual and you get this book, prepare to lose your magic friends because you will start to stomp them.
worst thing i ever did? one day i went winless (both tournament and casual) with my fungus deck. i put it in it's box, and i haven't touched it since. that was 3 years ago.
Are they having fun when they're playing their other matches? Because if they're only not having fun when they're playing against you, that says as much about you as it does about them.
to be fair to OP say you are his opponent in round 3 of a 4 round swiss. you are both 2-0 and you know that if you manage to win you can draw into the knockout rounds (guaranteeing you a prize for your time). you have been playing well with your rouge deck and you feel like you are on top of your game. all of a sudden in 2 games and 10 total turns you are defeated and it kills all hope that you can make it to the knockout rounds. sometimes it's not losing, but how you lose that causes a reaction.
people don't like feeling the harsh reality that they were outclassed, no matter what the reason.
know what's a dick move? when you win and i don't.
in all seriousness though, it's the dichotomy of player types at the LGS. you have some that play in ptqs that play a tier 1.5-2 deck and know that the deck is "decent at best" but the more casual crowd will cry foul because either a) don't want to spend the money to build a high powered deck or b) get some sort of self satisfaction knowing they didn't "netdeck". there is nothing dick about playing a powerful deck. in fact, that is what i enjoyed about playing at the LGS before i started coming online (even though i got my ass handed to me).
the real dick moves are belittling your opponent because of their deck/playskill or bragging about how much you spent on your deck (more an issue coming from teenagers whose mommy and daddy pay for their hobbies).
Basically the higher the CMC card countered with Remand, the more devastating it is. I don't think it's that great in the current meta but if you like say counter a 4 mana Elspeth from control that has no other board presence, it's essentially a time walk. I mean that being said, it's terrible against stuff like Bloodbraid Elf and doesn't really affect aggro too much so I don't think it's great in the current meta.
this
it's the same thing that chapin said about the card. remand is a tempo card that is really only costing your opponent mana (you as well). so if you are using it on cards >3 you are gaining tempo. less than 3 and you are losing tempo.
i run 4 so i can draw 1. how is mass histeria redundent? i only have 3 chieftons that give haste and they cost 3. not disagreeing just not seeing your logic. and i keep going back on forth on goblin grenade sometimes its in sometimes it out i really can't decide
You are already running 3 aether vial to cheat creatures in, and the doublestrike is negligible on a 1 power body. I'm not saying you should cut warren instigator, but maybe take it down to 3.
As for the chieftain/king slots, I would make it 4 chieftains and 2 kings. Haste is going to be more relevant than mountainwalk (if the mountainwalk is that helpful in certain matchups, put the other 2 in the sb). You really should be running goblin bushwhacker. It's your mass hysteria, pump, and a body. As for saying you need to have goblins in play to have it be relevant (about 75% true), mass hysteria is only relevant if you played a creature that turn, and it costs you another card. Goblin Bushwhacker > Mass Hysteria.
Goblin Grenade is what is going to give you reach when your opponents stabilize with a board presence.
I wouldn't take goblins to anything past the LGS. Zoo's creatures just flat out outclass goblins and they have issues w/ reach in the late game (goblin grenade helps).
As for your deck, I would cut the number of Warren Instigators. Cheating more dudes in is nice, but you run the risk of overextending yourself (which goblins already want you to do). Take out the mass hyserias. I can see what you are thinking, but it's redundant. You should run goblin grenade instead. 5 damage is huge w/ all the fetches and shocks in the format.
i'm down for testing. pming me here is probably the best bet for right now. i do use aim, but not often enough to justify always being signed in. i have about a half a dozen decks built and i'm working on making all of the tier 1 decks for testing purposes.
Essentially, combat damage is applied all at once, so even if you are at 1 life and your opponent is swinging in with 50 power, they entire combat step is only going to knock you to 0 life/0 poison.
actually, you would be at -49 life/0 poison. if the enchantment leaves play you lose.
2 Teetering Peaks
2 Cavern of Souls
16 Mountain
Creatures
4 Goblin Guide
3 Mogg War Marshal
4 Goblin Bushwhacker
4 Goblin Chieftain
4 Foundry Street Denizen
4 Legion Loyalist
4 Lightning Bolt
4 Goblin Grenade
3 Dragon Fodder
4 Shared Animosity
2 Faithless Looting
1 Cavern of Souls
4 Shattering Spree
4 Relic of Progenitus
2 Pyroclasm
4 Skullcrack
It is an all out aggro deck with burn for reach. It is consistent and surprisingly resilient. I came to this build after trying many goblin decks that had a higher curve. I found that a lower curve was working better for me.
I'm still working on the sideboard. It's difficult to decide what I'm going to side out since tinkering with the main deck at all can have undesired effects. The Pyroclasms will be taken out once I figure out what I'd rather have there.
Edit:
Breaking the Deck Down
This deck has one purpose, get your opponent to 0 ASAP. The way this deck accomplishes it is by overwhelming your opponents with cheap bodies. There are 23 creatures and between the Mogg War Marshals and Dragon Fodders you get another 12 Goblins. Since the mana curve tops at 3, you can create a board presence quickly.
Creatures
Goblin Guide
I don't see why anyone playing goblins seriously would even consider cutting him. A 2/2 hasty dude for one. Yes he can give your opponent card advantage, but it's irrelevant for two reasons. One, this deck is often times too fast for card advantage to matter. Second, if a land isn't revealed, we get to see what they are drawing and can plan accordingly. Automatic 4.
Mogg War Marshal
A great card for anyone looking to play more dudes than the opponent can handle. He's a 1/1 that makes a 1/1 when he CitP and another one to replace him when he dies. The drawback is the echo cost. I find that it creates a tempo loss in the early game, so I put it at 3. I'm thinking of adding a fourth to the sideboard for matchups that have a lot of counters.
Goblin Bushwhacker
A win con of sorts. The only time I play this is when I can kick it and it will mean something. Otherwise he's just a 1/1. What's nice about this pump spell is that with Cavern of souls it can't be countered. Auto 4.
Goblin Chieftain
Our lord that grants us haste. He's the guy that will usually eat removal immediately because the game will end quickly if he's on the board. I thought of cutting him to 3, but granting haste just helps so much when you can play multiple creatures the next turn. He's staying at 4.
Foundry Street Denizen
A 1/1 that gets +1/+0 for every red creature that comes into play until end of turn. That's what this deck does. He's the preferred turn one play, second being Goblin Guide. He eats removal a lot as well because he's swinging for at least 2 and usually 3 or 4 by turn 3. Auto 4.
Legion Loyalist
A hasty 1/1 one drop. What makes him special is his Battalion ability, granting all of your creatures first strike, trample, and making them unblockable by tokens. This guy is a key component in the alpha strike. Auto 4.
Spells
Lightning Bold
If you turn Mountains sideways and you don't play lightning bolt, you're a moron.
Goblin Grenade
This card wins games. I will only use it to target a player, unless targeting a creature will either win me the game or keep me from losing the game the next turn. We play lots of dudes, so sacrificing isn't a problem, unless it's countered. These usually get sided out against counters.
Dragon Fodder
Two 1/1 goblins for two. I prefer to see this early game because I can have two creatures attacking next turn without having to tap 2 lands. If they had haste, it would be a 4 of. They don't so I'm running 3.
Shared Animosity
This card is just win. We play lots of dudes, and we play them fast. When combined with Legion Loyalist and a kicked Bushwhacker it's GG. Just downright unfair when multiples hit the board. Auto 4
Faithless Looting
This is a card that when played at the right time can win you games. It's ok early, but I'd rather see it later when the board is stalled and all I'm drawing is land. The trick to this card is holding on to your lands once you hit 6. This will give you something to pitch when you draw. I settled at two because it's a win more card.
I will go into detail on the sideboard once it's complete. I will also talk about cards that I tried, but ended up cutting
however, if it is the book you want, get it. fully absorbing the material in the book will take years. if you only play casual and you get this book, prepare to lose your magic friends because you will start to stomp them.
to be fair to OP say you are his opponent in round 3 of a 4 round swiss. you are both 2-0 and you know that if you manage to win you can draw into the knockout rounds (guaranteeing you a prize for your time). you have been playing well with your rouge deck and you feel like you are on top of your game. all of a sudden in 2 games and 10 total turns you are defeated and it kills all hope that you can make it to the knockout rounds. sometimes it's not losing, but how you lose that causes a reaction.
people don't like feeling the harsh reality that they were outclassed, no matter what the reason.
in all seriousness though, it's the dichotomy of player types at the LGS. you have some that play in ptqs that play a tier 1.5-2 deck and know that the deck is "decent at best" but the more casual crowd will cry foul because either a) don't want to spend the money to build a high powered deck or b) get some sort of self satisfaction knowing they didn't "netdeck". there is nothing dick about playing a powerful deck. in fact, that is what i enjoyed about playing at the LGS before i started coming online (even though i got my ass handed to me).
the real dick moves are belittling your opponent because of their deck/playskill or bragging about how much you spent on your deck (more an issue coming from teenagers whose mommy and daddy pay for their hobbies).
this
it's the same thing that chapin said about the card. remand is a tempo card that is really only costing your opponent mana (you as well). so if you are using it on cards >3 you are gaining tempo. less than 3 and you are losing tempo.
You are already running 3 aether vial to cheat creatures in, and the doublestrike is negligible on a 1 power body. I'm not saying you should cut warren instigator, but maybe take it down to 3.
As for the chieftain/king slots, I would make it 4 chieftains and 2 kings. Haste is going to be more relevant than mountainwalk (if the mountainwalk is that helpful in certain matchups, put the other 2 in the sb). You really should be running goblin bushwhacker. It's your mass hysteria, pump, and a body. As for saying you need to have goblins in play to have it be relevant (about 75% true), mass hysteria is only relevant if you played a creature that turn, and it costs you another card. Goblin Bushwhacker > Mass Hysteria.
Goblin Grenade is what is going to give you reach when your opponents stabilize with a board presence.
As for your deck, I would cut the number of Warren Instigators. Cheating more dudes in is nice, but you run the risk of overextending yourself (which goblins already want you to do). Take out the mass hyserias. I can see what you are thinking, but it's redundant. You should run goblin grenade instead. 5 damage is huge w/ all the fetches and shocks in the format.
actually, you would be at -49 life/0 poison. if the enchantment leaves play you lose.