I don't think dealing damage is a necessary feature for a red card at all. Red control decks exist, and that kind of enchantment at 1RR would fit just fine in them. And in order to get maximum value, you have to be prioritizing the playing of random spells off the top of your deck; that's perfectly in line with how red works. It's not an investment into the future, it's an investment into the right now.
I just thought of a new ability that might have some play to it:
Clockwork Champion 2
Creature -- Golem
Sanction 1 -- Other creatures you control get +1/+1. (At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 1, or ~ loses this ability until your next upkeep.)
2/2
Also could work on a reanimate:
Autopuppet 1BB
Sorcery
Put target creature card for a graveyard onto the battlefield. Its power and toughness become 1/1 and it gains "Sanction pay 3 life -- Enchanted creature gets +4/+4." (At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 3 life, or ~ loses this ability until your next upkeep.)
That's a great wrath effect, but it's probably also too cute to see print. It's really optimized for the corner cases, and the downside of not being able to play creatures afterward is pretty significant.
How about an emblem that says "Whenever an ability triggers from a creature entering the battlefield under your control, you may copy that ability and choose new targets?"
Or just "Whenever a non-token creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a 2/2 white soldier creature token onto the battlefield." If you don't want to hit it directly on the nose.
Ha, Ravenous Rats isn't winning any awards for it's absurd power level! Anyway, you could add legendary, life pay, or Phyrexian mana to it's cost to offset the comparison.
Would it be too powerful with evasion of some kind, like Flying or Menace or something?
It probably would. Playing this and pitching Lingering Souls is enough value that adding evasion might be a little severe. It's kind of pushing it as it is...
That seems like a fair card, but probably too low impact for cube. This is more like what I would want to play:
Sunken Imp B
Creature -- Imp
When ~ enters the battlefield, target player discards a card. If a nonland card is discarded this way, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.
1/1
Mirari's Snake 5G
Creature -- Snake
Trample
Other creatures you control get +2/+2 and have trample.
Whenever you tap a land for mana, add G to your mana pool
5/5
That's maybe a little too strong, since you can just pay RR to get Sundering Titan / Wurmcoil / Battlesphere ETB/Dies triggers. It's good for cube maybe, but I couldn't see it being printed anywhere else. Especially since you can do it twice! (Cobble Wurmcoil from hand, then immediately flashback Cobble Wurmcoil from graveyard.)
You would have to put time counters on the artifact with Cobble Together, or have it enter the battlefield with the ability. It's also a bit clumsy to say "if it doesn't have...", so I would imagine WotC would probably spell the ability out directly instead.
But since you'll only ever get 1 attack anyway, you might as well just use haste + sac EOT and make it an instant.
Horde's Maneuvers is a nightmare for new players. Those are the least ever-green abilities ever!
The main problem with Mogg Flunkies is that they can't attack if your other guys die. So it lets your opponent 2-for-1 you with 1-for-1 removal spells. Haste helps a little. This is more like what I would want though:
Mogg Drunkies 1R
Creature -- Goblin
~ gets -1/-2 whenever it attacks or blocks alone.
3/3
Schism 3UG
Sorcery
Exile your hand. Put X time counters on each non-land card exiled this way, where X is the number of cards exiled. Those cards gain suspend.
Snapcaster Mage is so good, if I were to only able to include one creature in cube, it would be him.
Wait...
Jungle Channeler 1GG
Creature -- Human Shaman T: Add 1 to your mana pool
Whenever you tap a nonland permanent for mana, add an additional G to your mana pool
2/1
Getting an instant or sorcery in your graveyard is pretty trivial these days. If you cantrip turn 1, you can use this + cantrip turn 2, effectively digging you ten extra cards into your library by turn 3 for three easy payments of U. A draw 2 does about the same.
This card belongs in a deck with a ton of cantrips, because it basically turns them into Ancestrals. And it also works with a number of other combo pieces like mana accelerators. This + manamorphose is three mana for a draw 3 + 2 mana + three storm. In that scenario, it is contributing 1 mana cost for 2 cards and 2 storm. It's better than a draw two.
Also, just look at this with Lighning bolt:
Repeat bolt RRU
instant
Can't be countered (effectively).
~ deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
~ deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
draw a card
There goes all your red decks.
Sorcery speed doesn't help it with combo stuff, but it makes it worse for counter spells. It's so strong that playing it on your turn is still unfair.
The tutors are too expensive and narrow. (Especially the black one. Black is good at tutors, and you gave it the worse one by far.)
The charms are too low impact and have a prohibitive color commitment.
For instance, for Alabaster Charm, even if I were playing mono-white, I would rather just have an oblivion ring the vast majority of the time.
Jade Charm is a pretty poor design. It basically reads "destroy target non-land permanent."
Ritual of Horrible Doom is an improvement only in a mono-black deck, (and it is a really uninteresting card otherwise.) In fact, that is basically the problem with Spiritual Obliteration as well.
Experience Absorption is too narrow and slow. Especially since you can't even cycle it if you don't need the effect.
Disenchantment Zealot is functional, but what kind of deck really wants this guy? It's basically a sideboard only card. Smash hitter is a little better because he has some power, but without any evasion, it doesn't even help much there.
Dance of Fireburst is obvious, and uninteresting, even if good.
(Sorry if this comes off too negative. It's a hard to deal with so many cards at once without summarily processing them.)
Clockwork Champion 2
Creature -- Golem
Sanction 1 -- Other creatures you control get +1/+1. (At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 1, or ~ loses this ability until your next upkeep.)
2/2
Also could work on a reanimate:
Autopuppet 1BB
Sorcery
Put target creature card for a graveyard onto the battlefield. Its power and toughness become 1/1 and it gains "Sanction pay 3 life -- Enchanted creature gets +4/+4." (At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 3 life, or ~ loses this ability until your next upkeep.)
Wouldn't evoke work? (Does it require creatures?)
Lord of Plagues 5BB
Creature -- Demon
Other creatures get -3/-3
Evoke 2BB
6/5
All the death triggers should resolve before the evoke trigger, if I'm not mistaken.
Or just "Whenever a non-token creature enters the battlefield under your control, put a 2/2 white soldier creature token onto the battlefield." If you don't want to hit it directly on the nose.
It probably would. Playing this and pitching Lingering Souls is enough value that adding evasion might be a little severe. It's kind of pushing it as it is...
Sunken Imp B
Creature -- Imp
When ~ enters the battlefield, target player discards a card. If a nonland card is discarded this way, put a +1/+1 counter on ~.
1/1
Creature -- Snake
Trample
Other creatures you control get +2/+2 and have trample.
Whenever you tap a land for mana, add G to your mana pool
5/5
But since you'll only ever get 1 attack anyway, you might as well just use haste + sac EOT and make it an instant.
Horde's Maneuvers is a nightmare for new players. Those are the least ever-green abilities ever!
Mogg Drunkies 1R
Creature -- Goblin
~ gets -1/-2 whenever it attacks or blocks alone.
3/3
Sorcery
Exile your hand. Put X time counters on each non-land card exiled this way, where X is the number of cards exiled. Those cards gain suspend.
I'm not sure about the numbers on this thing...
Wait...
Jungle Channeler 1GG
Creature -- Human Shaman
T: Add 1 to your mana pool
Whenever you tap a nonland permanent for mana, add an additional G to your mana pool
2/1
This card belongs in a deck with a ton of cantrips, because it basically turns them into Ancestrals. And it also works with a number of other combo pieces like mana accelerators. This + manamorphose is three mana for a draw 3 + 2 mana + three storm. In that scenario, it is contributing 1 mana cost for 2 cards and 2 storm. It's better than a draw two.
Also, just look at this with Lighning bolt:
Repeat bolt RRU
instant
Can't be countered (effectively).
~ deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
~ deals 3 damage to target creature or player.
draw a card
There goes all your red decks.
Sorcery speed doesn't help it with combo stuff, but it makes it worse for counter spells. It's so strong that playing it on your turn is still unfair.
The tutors are too expensive and narrow. (Especially the black one. Black is good at tutors, and you gave it the worse one by far.)
The charms are too low impact and have a prohibitive color commitment.
For instance, for Alabaster Charm, even if I were playing mono-white, I would rather just have an oblivion ring the vast majority of the time.
Jade Charm is a pretty poor design. It basically reads "destroy target non-land permanent."
Ritual of Horrible Doom is an improvement only in a mono-black deck, (and it is a really uninteresting card otherwise.) In fact, that is basically the problem with Spiritual Obliteration as well.
Experience Absorption is too narrow and slow. Especially since you can't even cycle it if you don't need the effect.
Disenchantment Zealot is functional, but what kind of deck really wants this guy? It's basically a sideboard only card. Smash hitter is a little better because he has some power, but without any evasion, it doesn't even help much there.
Dance of Fireburst is obvious, and uninteresting, even if good.
(Sorry if this comes off too negative. It's a hard to deal with so many cards at once without summarily processing them.)