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  • posted a message on Wizard of the Coast is my Girlfriend???
    I got the following taglines:
    The World Leader in Hobby Gaming (duh)
    Freaky in a good way
    We speak in movie references, too.
    Hey, being king of the geeks is pretty cool. (They're the king of the geeks, and they're your girlfriend?)
    They made us take our other taglines down.
    Home of the Natural 20
    Insert corporate tagline here.
    The top of Gamer Mountain
    Not to be confused with Necromancers of the Northwest
    Not to be confused with Prestidigitators of the Pacific
    Not to be confused with Sorcerers of the Sound
    If you were a slaad, what kind of slaad would you be?
    Tell us about your character.
    No, really, we want to hear about your character.
    Where people get paid to make up stuff like this
    Banned from posting for 511,592 hr and 21 min
    Chaotic neutral means never having to say you're sorry.
    We like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.
    Please allow us to introduce ourselves.
    We're all rocket scientists here.
    Sponsored by secret dragonic conspiracies
    Rolling a twenty on the die of life.
    The in-character company
    We hated Uni, too.
    Ask us about our spell failure guarantee
    Tappers of untapped resources
    Our elves outperform Santa's every Q4
    Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal!
    Behold our Cubicles of Legend
    Purveyors of eldritch, sanity-blasting products
    Secret lair of your feverish desires
    Where fun lives. And sometimes, flop-sweat terror.
    Where the trolls do more than impede goats
    This space intentionally left blank.
    Someone will put a stop to this eventually.
    Humor pending approval
    Click here to see our key selling points.
    You're our primary and secondary demographic.
    in addition to the ones already posted. There are probably more, and some seem to be more common than others.
    Posted in: the Speakeasy
  • posted a message on Teferi on a card!?!?!?WTF??!?!Spoilers possible.
    Quote from MaRo »
    *a female legend that players have been begging us to do for a long time
    If she weren't a planeswalker, she would have been in Coldsnap. That's the great thing about messing with time; you can grab people from before they became too powerful to put on a card.
    This quote explains why some of the legendary creatures in Time Spiral are planeswalkers. It also confirms that Jaya Ballard will be a TS card.
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Humor Mill: Time Spiral edition
    While searching Haspian Chastoril's home, I found several fraudulent Tchoktan artifacts, and the following cards:

    Yawgmoth's Time Mox (0)
    Artifact
    (T), Skip your next turn: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

    Yawgmoth's Bargain Bin (4)(B)(B)
    Enchantment
    Pay 1 life: An opponent searches your library for a card. Put that card into your hand. Then shuffle your library.

    Time-Travelling Goblin (1)(R)(R)
    Creature-Goblin Warrior
    Super haste
    4/1

    The following card was multicolored, but was unreadable except for the flavor text:
    "I knew it weren't no ordinary Throat Wolf."
    -Norin the Wary


    There were five additional cards, Déjà Vu, Planar Stalker, Time Barrier, Chronos, and Pit Beast, that seem to be reprints from Edge of the World.
    Posted in: the Speakeasy
  • posted a message on [TS] Minisite Art
    Quote from einhorn
    Well, probably not. Dominaria has two moons...nullmoon and glimmermoon, so it's probably them.
    Not anymore. The Null Moon was destroyed during Apocalypse. Karona brought it back in TSTTBTSNBN, but then destroyed it.
    Posted in: The Rumor Mill
  • posted a message on Wizard's (ongoing) Crackdown on Leaked Info
    Quote from Tapsymboldancer
    This is seriously depressing news. The only way possible to get consistant rumors, that WotC could do nothing about, would be to get servers set up, and a fence, in a country with which the united states doesnt have extradition laws with.
    You mean like Sealand?
    Posted in: Community Discussion
  • posted a message on Cards that don't make sense, flavor wise
    Quote from Photon Eater
    You determined this based on the fact that it contains a mythological inaccuracy, or the fact that a card doesn't match it's novelized incarnation? If we're gonna play that game, one could literally pick apart much of the MTG universe.
    It is based on the fact that it doesn't match the Yuki-Onna in the novels, although the novelized Yuki-onna is based on the mythological one. A lot of Magic's storyline is mythologically innaccurate (including Kamigawa, whose depiction of Shinto is innaccurate), but in most cases this doesn't matter because Magic takes place in a multiverse independent from this universe. In the case of Yuki-Onna, however, there are two versions: the novel version which is based on the the youkai of Japanese folklore; and the cardboard one with the same name but whose ability is a complete non sequitur.
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Cards that don't make sense, flavor wise
    Quote from Angryhydralisk
    Yuki-Onna - Odd because the books described her looking like the chick from the Ring. Even odder is the black "onna" captures that look far better than Yuki's art.
    Another reason Yuki-Onna doesn't make sense is that she destroys artifacts. Neither the Yuki-Onna in the novels nor the one in Nipponese folklore destroys artifacts. This is one reason why I think Saviors is the worst set in the Kamigawa block, and one of the worst in all of Magic (after Legions of course). The other reasons include the ability word Sweep and the fact that they didn't finish the Kodama cycle. Another one that is relevant to this thread is that Pithing Needle was designed to hose Umezawa no Jitte. It was meant to be used in a way that didn't make sense flavorwise, in a flavor-themed block. How exactly do you pith something that doesn't have a spinal cord (or even a spinal cord analogue)?
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Humor Mill: Time Spiral edition
    I got the following information from a treefolk bartender.

    The following creature types will be introduced in Time Spiral:

    Grue
    Bleen
    Gazebo
    Phallid
    Throat-Wolf

    The following flavor text will appear on a card in the set:

    "KAAAAARN!"
    -Tevesh Szatner

    The following card will also be in the set:

    Lesser Greevil (1)(G)
    Creature-Beast
    (1)(G), Sacrifice Root Greevil: Destroy target enchantment.
    The lesser of two greevils.
    1/2
    Posted in: the Speakeasy
  • posted a message on Magic Players Are Still Planeswalkers
    Huh? Urza didn't use Urza's Tower when he was a planeswalker. Those environments don't have to be in different planes, nor are the towers necessarily the same. Urza built more than one, and they all probably looked similar. Is there some reason a Mountain, a Plains, a Forest, and an Island can't exist in the same universe? Am confused. Confused
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on The Ancient Ones
    The Elder Dragons appeared in some of the comics, including the two Elder Dragons Comics. Nicol Bolas was the emperor of Madara in the second Legends Cycle.

    The five Invasion dragons were the Primevals, who were descendants of the Elders.
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Attributes of the Blind Eternities
    Quote from void_nothing »
    Blind Eternities = Magic's outer space. Xantcha had to travel through the Blind Eternities (the void in between planes) and almost died.
    The Blind Eternities are not outer space. Each plane has its own outer space. Dominia is the Whole Sort of General Mish Mash, and the Blind Eternities are the parts of the Mish Mash that aren't occupied by planes. Most inhabited planes have only one inhabited planet, which is the only one of interest to planeswalkers. Although most natural planes have billions and billions of galaxies, they are mostly devoid of mana and are therefore ignored. If there are any that are of interest to planeswalkers, they are far enough from the 'main' planet that they are mistaken for other planes. Artificial planes, however, usually contain only one planet or planetary system. For example, Mirrodin had one planet and four or five moons. There were 'stars', but they were actually blinkmoths. The 'edge' of an artificial plane, if it has one (as Rath did), acts like a portal to the Blind Eternities.
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Flavor Text Game - Version 2.0
    Kilodrowse (U)
    Buyback (1)
    Tap target permanent.
    "I should have stayed in bed today."


    Next:
    "There are two kinds of people in this world. Me -- and my victims."
    -Elashub
    Posted in: Custom Card Contests and Games
  • posted a message on Coldsnap Continuity
    Wow. OMG
    I got motion sickness after watching that.
    Was that guy supposed to be Taysir? If so, why did he need the portal?
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Sylvan?
    The forest from the first Legends cycle was Arboria, not Sylvan, and the library belonged to Shauku, Endbringer. Sylvan does not refer to a specific forest; it means 'related to or characteristic of forest regions'.
    Posted in: Magic Storyline
  • posted a message on Flavor Text Game - Version 2.0
    Simic Shapeshifter (3)(U)(G)
    Creature-Shapeshifter
    (2): Simic Shapeshifter can't be the target of spells or abilities this turn.
    (2): Simic Shapeshifter gets +1/-1 or -1/+1 until end of turn.
    (U): Simic shapeshifter gains flying until end of turn.
    (G): Simic Shapeshifter gains trample until end of turn.
    (U)(G): Untap Simic Shapeshifter.
    "Sometimes it is round. Sometimes it is a square. Sometimes its just a shape that scare you out of your mind."
    -Simic researcher's notes

    3/3

    Next:
    For the Izzet, success is ten percent inspiration and ninety percent immolation.
    Posted in: Custom Card Contests and Games
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